Mixed feelings... need some guidance

[joyousfamily88]

Today everything blew out of proportion. He said he want divorce and demanded he want 50-50 of the house. I’m shocked that someone who did wrong can still demand for things. I have persuaded him to go for uncontested but he said no if I don’t agree, he is willing to fight with me.... what should I do?

Hi TS,

Marriage is a life-long commitment whereby both parties have to give and take
throughout the ups and downs of marriage life. I believe both of you yearns to
have a peaceful and happy family together. I have encountered such situation before
but it was a friend of mine, who was on the verge of going through a divorce.
But she eventually managed to salvage her marriage through faith and prayers.
I can help pray for you and your family. Please feel free to pm me.

 

[gladjo]

Hi Insure

I agree with Triple70 , joyousfamily88 & rahul ... u should listen to them & withhold the PI & confrontation. I did the same as you, i confronted my ex in front of his family (big mistake) & did it also infront of my kids (another big mistake). All encourage by those who think I was right and hit him hard for his betrayal. Yep, like you, I was lost and listen to whoever can tell me what to do so that I don't need to think.

Anyway, first , please calm yourself down and then consider , please consider ..not for yourself but your kids who are innocent and will be badly affected. Then, do yourself a favor, hold your anger and pray and try to talk to him calmly, lovingly and graciously. To him, you don't understand the pressures he face at work in order to bring in the bread & thats why the colleague affair. Now, he's confuse. He obviously love his kids but at this moment of anger, he just want to cool down. You know he love his kids otherwise, he can't be bothered to bond with them.

That's why I always ask those who are seeking PI, what do you really want? Are you ready and able to handle the truth? Can you forgive and move on after seeing the pictures ?

It's easy to get votes for your decision but remember the consequences is entirely yours to bear. Not all advise from others suits you... there's no quick fix ..only you can figure out how and what to do slowly.

Feel free to pm me should you need a ear... don't blast your anger and betrayal at him or his family ... it will boomerang back.

God bless

 

[insecure_me]

Hi Insure

I agree with Triple70 , joyousfamily88 & rahul ... u should listen to them & withhold the PI & confrontation. I did the same as you, i confronted my ex in front of his family (big mistake) & did it also infront of my kids (another big mistake). All encourage by those who think I was right and hit him hard for his betrayal. Yep, like you, I was lost and listen to whoever can tell me what to do so that I don't need to think.

Anyway, first , please calm yourself down and then consider , please consider ..not for yourself but your kids who are innocent and will be badly affected. Then, do yourself a favor, hold your anger and pray and try to talk to him calmly, lovingly and graciously. To him, you don't understand the pressures he face at work in order to bring in the bread & thats why the colleague affair. Now, he's confuse. He obviously love his kids but at this moment of anger, he just want to cool down. You know he love his kids otherwise, he can't be bothered to bond with them.

That's why I always ask those who are seeking PI, what do you really want? Are you ready and able to handle the truth? Can you forgive and move on after seeing the pictures ?

It's easy to get votes for your decision but remember the consequences is entirely yours to bear. Not all advise from others suits you... there's no quick fix ..only you can figure out how and what to do slowly.

Feel free to pm me should you need a ear... don't blast your anger and betrayal at him or his family ... it will boomerang back.

God bless

Hi gladjo, thanks for the advise tho it came too late.

I engaged a Pi because he has been neglecting the family and going on dates with her 3 times a week. Even weekends evening, he goes out to meet her cause we live so close by!

When I confronted him alone, he denied it. So I told him to have cooling period and think about it. But you know what he do? He went to stay 2 nights in hotel with her. Is this call cooling period? Anyway, we have talked and he said he don’t want the kids, even wanting to give me full custody. He took the car away even tho I paid half for it and I don’t have car to send the kids to school and it’s very far away.

It’s after all these that I finally decided to let go. Ive tried everything to win him back but he just don’t want us

 

[sharon_ang]

Hi gladjo, thanks for the advise tho it came too late.

I engaged a Pi because he has been neglecting the family and going on dates with her 3 times a week. Even weekends evening, he goes out to meet her cause we live so close by!

When I confronted him alone, he denied it. So I told him to have cooling period and think about it. But you know what he do? He went to stay 2 nights in hotel with her. Is this call cooling period? Anyway, we have talked and he said he don’t want the kids, even wanting to give me full custody. He took the car away even tho I paid half for it and I don’t have car to send the kids to school and it’s very far away.

It’s after all these that I finally decided to let go. Ive tried everything to win him back but he just don’t want us

I know how u feel. No one understand him more than u. I believed its not easy for u to let go.
I just don't understand why everytime the husbanf did wrong, ppl always put the blame to the wife. The feelinng of being cheated, n betray is not good.
I can advise u is move on n forward. If this man cant change, how many time u wan to be hurt.

 

[mstham]

Hi, I had some issues with my husband & would like to proceed with separation. Can I know what is the cost? I'm on tight budget. Thanks

 

[twinnybabes]

@insecure_me,
I feel sorry for you especially the kids. I hope you can keep it together, be strong and don't let it affect the kids. I find it hard to understand how a person can easily say he doesn't want his kids anymore or the family, that it's over. It's like throwing an old pair of shoes. Divorce would be a very long difficult process, I hope you and the kids can cope. How old are they? It's so painful when the kids learned that their father doesn't want them anymore

 

[Baeksang]

Take him to the cleaners sis. Since he plays this kind of game.. i think u shld hit him for all he has got.

Always remember, when a man marries his mistress, he creates a vacancy.

He can say that he does not want the kids now... 100% of the time? When the man wises up... if he gets kids with the xiao san.. he will be going through the crying babies, the sleepless nights etc...let him. the best way for you is to raise your children well. It is a testament to you rather to him. Your children may or may not resent him but make sure that your children do not forget you were there for them when their father wasnt

 

[kind_vigilante]

Dear All

Thanks for listening and giving advises. I finally confronted him today. He showed no signs of remorse or asked for forgiveness. He said you wanna blow Big let’s divo. saddens my heart that this is no longer the man I know

Insecure, i am sorry to hear your issue with your spouse. To be honest, i am a mn. I am facing the same problem with my wife. she earns 3 x my salary and come back late. lately, she like to make herself look beautiful and consistently checking on her phone. when i ask her, who she is msging she will scold me. I love my family and didnt want to lose it. but it seems like because i cant make her feel proud towards her friends. now she seems to be looking for someone who can.

 

[insecure_me]

Take him to the cleaners sis. Since he plays this kind of game.. i think u shld hit him for all he has got.

Always remember, when a man marries his mistress, he creates a vacancy.

He can say that he does not want the kids now... 100% of the time? When the man wises up... if he gets kids with the xiao san.. he will be going through the crying babies, the sleepless nights etc...let him. the best way for you is to raise your children well. It is a testament to you rather to him. Your children may or may not resent him but make sure that your children do not forget you were there for them when their father wasnt

How to hit him hard? I’ve been getting hell from this idiot. Every other day send me text to ask me pack his stuff. Pack ridiculously trival things. I’m so disgusted with this man now. He hasn’t responded to my lawyer’s letter, just taking his own sweet time.

 

[lacylace]

How to hit him hard? I’ve been getting hell from this idiot. Every other day send me text to ask me pack his stuff. Pack ridiculously trival things. I’m so disgusted with this man now. He hasn’t responded to my lawyer’s letter, just taking his own sweet time.

I just read the whole thread, and i feel very aggrieved for you. This type of ass hole hubby, u should really forget about him. And if you want to hit him hard, hit him hard in the pockets.

If they are colleagues, u can always go down to his company or his superior and HR and inform them that both of them are committing adultery. If you have more information on the lady's family background, you should pay her mother or father a visit as well. Shame her and your hubby as much as you can.

Please do not see me as being vengeful. This is just a way to teach those 狗男女 a valuable point in life.

 

[johntan68]

How to hit him hard? I’ve been getting hell from this idiot. Every other day send me text to ask me pack his stuff. Pack ridiculously trival things. I’m so disgusted with this man now. He hasn’t responded to my lawyer’s letter, just taking his own sweet time.

I’m so sorry to hear what you have gone thru sis. I believe there is no turning back. Sis, learnt to forgive whoever had hurt you, this includes ur hub and his mistress. It will make u feel better and able to make wiser decision and able to propel yr life forward.
God bless you sis.

 

[kind_vigilante]

Why women being a mother already still want to go out and come back very late. Is this the current mentality of the modern mothers?

 

[Hailey G]

I'm a mother of furry kids, not human kids. I will rush back every weekday after work to be with my furry kids, let alone if you have human kids where the responsibilities are greater. It depends on the mentality of each mother, doesn't mean most modern mum are like that, where they prefers to have a life of their own after working hours.

 

[yuiyui]

Why women being a mother already still want to go out and come back very late. Is this the current mentality of the modern mothers?

maybe havent mature yet. need some time to wait for her to be mature. got to be very patience.

 

[kind_vigilante]

maybe havent mature yet. need some time to wait for her to be mature. got to be very patience.

She will miss all the kids growth

 

[insecure_me]

I just read the whole thread, and i feel very aggrieved for you. This type of ass hole hubby, u should really forget about him. And if you want to hit him hard, hit him hard in the pockets.

If they are colleagues, u can always go down to his company or his superior and HR and inform them that both of them are committing adultery. If you have more information on the lady's family background, you should pay her mother or father a visit as well. Shame her and your hubby as much as you can.

Please do not see me as being vengeful. This is just a way to teach those 狗男女 a valuable point in life.

Hi lacylace

I have all the woman’s information but he doesn’t seem to be scared of it at all. Some advised me now to tell the woman’s husband as he is innocent. Which I find is true. But the shameless woman is not keeping a distance even now that me and my hub are in the midst of divorce.
I can’t understand how both of them can 光敏真大 still continue their relationship when I’m in the midst of divorce?!