Husband has another relationship.. What should I do?

Cnblue

New Member
Hi

I would really need some advice here because I have no outlet and no one to turn to.

I recently discovered that my husband has a relationship with another woman for a few years.

I felt really hurt and betrayed because I never thought it will happen to me. I always thought that I have a happy family with 2 young children. Definitely have our ups and downs in our marriage but I thought we stood and will stand the test of time.

I was devastated when I found out the woman is in another country and he travels to that country quite often, citing for various reasons, but actually is to meet up with her.

He said he loved the both of us and has never plan on divorcing me. He would continue to keep it under wraps if I didnt find out.

However, it is not so simple as they seem to be in a serious relationship as the other party's family know about his existence.

For now, I choose to remain status quo for the sake of my children and that I still love him. But I really dont know where this is going or what should I do.

Anyone has any advice?
 


Still the same... Have a talk with him... See what he really want... Have to choose ONLY one side...
Again, since this relationship is for few years, asking him to choose will be a rather difficult position as well.
Ask yourself, can you stand such? If no, probably consider of separation or divorce...
It's difficult.. In my opinion, the worst affair is through 'heart' than 'body'. A husband whom heart have another woman, is unacceptable for me...
 
Hi

I would really need some advice here because I have no outlet and no one to turn to.

I recently discovered that my husband has a relationship with another woman for a few years.

I felt really hurt and betrayed because I never thought it will happen to me. I always thought that I have a happy family with 2 young children. Definitely have our ups and downs in our marriage but I thought we stood and will stand the test of time.

I was devastated when I found out the woman is in another country and he travels to that country quite often, citing for various reasons, but actually is to meet up with her.

He said he loved the both of us and has never plan on divorcing me. He would continue to keep it under wraps if I didnt find out.

However, it is not so simple as they seem to be in a serious relationship as the other party's family know about his existence.

For now, I choose to remain status quo for the sake of my children and that I still love him. But I really dont know where this is going or what should I do.

Anyone has any advice?
How much u know about their relationship? Do they have a child?
It's not good for affair to carry on too long, it will strain your marriage and if continue too long, it might break your marriage.
 
How much u know about their relationship? Do they have a child?
It's not good for affair to carry on too long, it will strain your marriage and if continue too long, it might break your marriage.

From what I know, they dont have a child. But my husband seems to be quite determined to establish co existence.

I really dont know what I should do or how long more can I hold on.
 
I feel u need to make a stand.
This should not continue.
Anyway how old is your child?
If really he have a change of heart, then better to let go n secure your custody of your child. The longer it drag, the worse it going to be for you mentally.
 
Hi

I would really need some advice here because I have no outlet and no one to turn to.

I recently discovered that my husband has a relationship with another woman for a few years.

I felt really hurt and betrayed because I never thought it will happen to me. I always thought that I have a happy family with 2 young children. Definitely have our ups and downs in our marriage but I thought we stood and will stand the test of time.

I was devastated when I found out the woman is in another country and he travels to that country quite often, citing for various reasons, but actually is to meet up with her.

He said he loved the both of us and has never plan on divorcing me. He would continue to keep it under wraps if I didnt find out.

However, it is not so simple as they seem to be in a serious relationship as the other party's family know about his existence.

For now, I choose to remain status quo for the sake of my children and that I still love him. But I really dont know where this is going or what should I do.

Anyone has any advice?
If he know u knows n continue with her, he's respecting you, and your marriage. He is willing to risk your marriage to continue with her.
You hv to make sure he stop, there should be no comprising in this. The longer u let it continue, his heart will be with her more. Do it now if he still treasure the marriage n children.
 
As a guy, I felt that he wants the best of both world. One side, he can keep the other woman. On the other side, he does not want to be labelled as a jerk in front of everyone who you guys know mutually.

My take:

Get him to choose sides but be mentally prepared as I am pretty certain he will choose the china/Vietnam/thai girl.

If you are willing to reveal the nationality of the lady, I may be of help as different nationality's culture is different and of course girl from her origin has different belief.

I would say your hubby has been kced by the girl. So for now, you should be stashing away all your funds and try to get as much as you can from him so as to safeguard your kids.

KC: kan ching.
 
As a guy, I felt that he wants the best of both world. One side, he can keep the other woman. On the other side, he does not want to be labelled as a jerk in front of everyone who you guys know mutually.

My take:

Get him to choose sides but be mentally prepared as I am pretty certain he will choose the china/Vietnam/thai girl.

If you are willing to reveal the nationality of the lady, I may be of help as different nationality's culture is different and of course girl from her origin has different belief.

I would say your hubby has been kced by the girl. So for now, you should be stashing away all your funds and try to get as much as you can from him so as to safeguard your kids.

KC: kan ching.

Hi

The lady is in Thailand but whether is she really a Thai, I am not too sure.

He tells me he is lost as to what to do as well. He still says he wants me and has been trying his best to balance things out so I wont feel so bad.

we recently just celebrated our anniversary, though it was quite awkward but we tried to be as normal as we could be. I also didnt know what feelings should I be having over dinner.

I told him I want to keep this family but I dont want to rush into making a decision neither do I want him to rush into one. thats when he told me hes lost and dont what to decide.

honestly I really dont know where this is going.. im willing to give us a chance and work towards salvaging the marriage... but on the other hand.. I dont know if I ask him to choose now, will I be pushing him away instead.
 
As a guy, I felt that he wants the best of both world. One side, he can keep the other woman. On the other side, he does not want to be labelled as a jerk in front of everyone who you guys know mutually.

My take:

Get him to choose sides but be mentally prepared as I am pretty certain he will choose the china/Vietnam/thai girl.

If you are willing to reveal the nationality of the lady, I may be of help as different nationality's culture is different and of course girl from her origin has different belief.

I would say your hubby has been kced by the girl. So for now, you should be stashing away all your funds and try to get as much as you can from him so as to safeguard your kids.

KC: kan ching.

Hi
what does kced means?
 
Like what goddaddygo mentioned, he just want the best of both world... Seeing what he's doing, I doubt he will 'stop' though. Guess probably he will want the girl, as well as the marriage/kids. Now can only hope some day he will 'break up' with the girl. But then again, first is how long will it be? And secondly, he may find another one after break up... So it's a long run to think as well.

Asked him back, if you have another boyfriend outside, and want both world, what he will do?
 
Hi

The lady is in Thailand but whether is she really a Thai, I am not too sure.

He tells me he is lost as to what to do as well. He still says he wants me and has been trying his best to balance things out so I wont feel so bad.

we recently just celebrated our anniversary, though it was quite awkward but we tried to be as normal as we could be. I also didnt know what feelings should I be having over dinner.

I told him I want to keep this family but I dont want to rush into making a decision neither do I want him to rush into one. thats when he told me hes lost and dont what to decide.

honestly I really dont know where this is going.. im willing to give us a chance and work towards salvaging the marriage... but on the other hand.. I dont know if I ask him to choose now, will I be pushing him away instead.
He's openly contiuning his relationship with her.
If u dont stop him, u sure will lose him.
 
Hey. I'm actually having the same situation as you.

But just that I'm having my first kid soon in December. His lover is in Australia. He also said that he wants both of us at the same time.

However, it feels like he's more into her instead of me.
 
Hey, I was also in the same situation as all of you, just that the affair he had is a co-worker and is a young girl - local girl. We had been talking about the affair but he did not stop meeting the girl & I caught him.

Trust is no longer there & we are seeking to separation.
 
Hey, I was also in the same situation as all of you, just that the affair he had is a co-worker and is a young girl - local girl. We had been talking about the affair but he did not stop meeting the girl & I caught him.

Trust is no longer there & we are seeking to separation.
Why not get evidence n get divorce. What u waiting for?
 
Hi
what does kced means?

kced means kan ching as in under the "love curse". I am a guy. I have seen my share of guys betraying their partners. The only one big reason why guy will return to their wife is only if the wife is rich or the guy's financial stability is dependent on the wife.

Most of the guys who strayed WILL NEVER return to their wife unless as mentioned below.

First reason: Money

Second reason: children but he will still have a woman outside.

Third reason: Got screwed big time by the woman and he has no more money.

NO guy will return to their wife in the short period unless she threatens.
 
Hi

The lady is in Thailand but whether is she really a Thai, I am not too sure.

He tells me he is lost as to what to do as well. He still says he wants me and has been trying his best to balance things out so I wont feel so bad.

we recently just celebrated our anniversary, though it was quite awkward but we tried to be as normal as we could be. I also didnt know what feelings should I be having over dinner.

I told him I want to keep this family but I dont want to rush into making a decision neither do I want him to rush into one. thats when he told me hes lost and dont what to decide.

honestly I really dont know where this is going.. im willing to give us a chance and work towards salvaging the marriage... but on the other hand.. I dont know if I ask him to choose now, will I be pushing him away instead.

Hmm, bring him out with me. I will show him the cruelty of the foreign ladies.

With no money, your hubby is nothing.

Lock up as much funds as you can.

To a thai lady, $1500 sgd is a lot to sustain a woman in Thailand.

Thailand ladies use a lot of black magic, if your hubby does not mind. Get him a thai amulet to wear or bring around.

Beware, there are a lot of fake amulets around.
 
kced means kan ching as in under the "love curse". I am a guy. I have seen my share of guys betraying their partners. The only one big reason why guy will return to their wife is only if the wife is rich or the guy's financial stability is dependent on the wife.

Most of the guys who strayed WILL NEVER return to their wife unless as mentioned below.

First reason: Money

Second reason: children but he will still have a woman outside.

Third reason: Got screwed big time by the woman and he has no more money.

NO guy will return to their wife in the short period unless she threatens.

it means basically theres nothing I can do to salvage the marriage?

whether there is really black magic, im not sure. moreover I dont think even if I get him an amulet, he will wear it...

I just hoped to give my kids a complete family and I still feel very strongly for him. these few weeks, we are still talking, going out as a family as if nothing happened.. but there are times he seems busy msging and he seems troubled at times while msging.. he will sigh or looked pissed... but there are times where he seems always waiting for the alert to sound andrespond immediately.

I have so much to ask him but im always cautious.. sometimes he will feel that im always asking many questions. im trying to be by his side and do my best in hope that things changed for the better. however, I really unsure how is this whole matter going towards and is not very confident that things will turn out the way that I hope it will be.

Last edited: Today at 10:37 AM
 
Hi there,

To be honest I don’t think I’m in the right forum cause this time round I’m the Husband and a victim of a cheating Wife. To be honest, I’m too tired of what’s going on and therefore looking for help. We have a beautiful 3 year old Daughter that I really really love and treasure. Few days ago, I found out on a camera I bought for her, photos of her and one guy kissing. I am angry and asked for a divorce but she didn’t want to move out Nor does she wants to give me my Daughter. I told her to break off with the guy so that we can start afresh but she didn’t want to and told me that she loves him. I’m lost right now because lawyer told me that a contested divorce cost about 10k and i really do not have the capability. I’m afraid that I will lose my house and Daughter to her as well. I’m very lost on what to do and hope someone here will be kind enough to educate me. I can lose my house but I can’t lose my Daughter. Every night my Wife doesn’t come home and spend time with the guy neglecting how I feel. I feel devastated and tired and lost. Help me please

Ok bro, firstly, you need to get hold of the photos that you mentioned earlier on.

Upon which, file for a divorce on reason of adultery in which the photos will come into good use. Will be great if you can grab hold of her phone for intimate messages exchange too.

Custody will depends on afew things. Firstly, financial capability in the sense of an occupation. Who has been taking care of the kid most of the time. The kid normally will rely on which parent etc. This may not be accurate but from my limited knowledge.

If you seriously need help, consult a legal specialist.
 
Photo of kissing doesn't mean adultery. Also don't just base on one photo of kissing to file, it will make her contest.

Do your home work before u file divorce. Dont alert her n file, gather evidence first.
 
I feel like im kind of losing him... he has been msging more frequently... but he never really show much expressions, even if have it seems troubled more than happy... maybe he didnt want me to feel awkward.. yesterday he was in the toilet for quite long... and afterwards... he looked troubled and told me tt hes going down for awhile...

he came back after about 15mins or so.. without any expression again.. then he spoke to me as if everything is normal...

my gut feelings tell me that he was speaking to her.. I really dont know what to do... it has been about a month since I found out about... there are good days and bad days...
 
As a guy, I felt that he wants the best of both world. One side, he can keep the other woman. On the other side, he does not want to be labelled as a jerk in front of everyone who you guys know mutually.

My take:

Get him to choose sides but be mentally prepared as I am pretty certain he will choose the china/Vietnam/thai girl.

If you are willing to reveal the nationality of the lady, I may be of help as different nationality's culture is different and of course girl from her origin has different belief.

I would say your hubby has been kced by the girl. So for now, you should be stashing away all your funds and try to get as much as you can from him so as to safeguard your kids.

KC: kan ching.
My hubby has an affair with a PRC study mama...I think she is divorced or separated...
He has no money... but she is still sticking with him
So what does it take?
 
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My hubby has an affair with a PRC study mama...I think she is divorced or separated...
He has no money... but she is still sticking with him
So what does it take?

Your hubby has no money but a pr is the main aim from my experience.

Once your hubby marries her, high chance she will divorce him after she obtained citizenship.

You actually stated that she is in the ktv hostess line so it makes more sense. Citizenship enables her to stay here permanently and also allows her to work as a ktv hostess legally.
 
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Your hubby has no money but a pr is the main aim from my experience.

Once your hubby marries her, high chance she will divorce him after she obtained citizenship.

You actually stated that she is in the ktv hostess line so it makes more sense. Citizenship enables her to stay here permanently and also allows her to work as a ktv hostess legally.
She wants her kid to have PR so that school fees will be lower
 
She wants her kid to have PR so that school fees will be lower

First to say being a ktv hostess earn at least 10k a month for a full timer and you get cash daily. So money is of no problem to her. However, the pr is a big issue as it enables her to work here in the long term legally and her kid is able to stay in Singapore to obtain pr which is a win win situation for the mum and kid.

I believe the only solution is to get her sent back to her home country and permanently banned from here.
 
how do you know when you are losing the race?
eversince I found out.. he ll msg me why he wont be back for dinner or when he goes out what time ll he be back... he comes home earlier for dinner but not much communication and he sleeps early somedays... weekends are still spent with me and the family..

but on the other hand.. I know hes still msging the other lady and perhaps chatting with her over rhe phone or videocall when all are sleeping...

I really dont know what I should do.. he says he loves me but am I losing him? am I losing my family?
 
Cnblue,
Winning the race means able to love yourself back. If winning means winning the woman, then what makes you so sure this win is for life?

Plan and move fast. Pick the path that hurts less and most beneficial to you and your kids.

Yes, you are losing a husband, maybe. No, you are not losing your family. Everyone wants a fairy tale life. But if things dont go your way, live perfectly in an imperfect life. You will never know who will have the last laugh. Understand?
 
how do you know when you are losing the race?
eversince I found out.. he ll msg me why he wont be back for dinner or when he goes out what time ll he be back... he comes home earlier for dinner but not much communication and he sleeps early somedays... weekends are still spent with me and the family..

but on the other hand.. I know hes still msging the other lady and perhaps chatting with her over rhe phone or videocall when all are sleeping...

I really dont know what I should do.. he says he loves me but am I losing him? am I losing my family?

You have already lost him. The only time he will be back is when you leave him. I am just stating as a guy's view.
I believe right now he is only staying for the sake of the kid and maybe due to the flat, other than that I see no reason why he is staying put with you. I know I am crude but the truth hurts.

One way he can savage this marriage is to remove all contact with the lady and end it all. However, I will have to warn you that the possibility of him having another woman in the future will be very high.
 
how do you know when you are losing the race?
eversince I found out.. he ll msg me why he wont be back for dinner or when he goes out what time ll he be back... he comes home earlier for dinner but not much communication and he sleeps early somedays... weekends are still spent with me and the family..

but on the other hand.. I know hes still msging the other lady and perhaps chatting with her over rhe phone or videocall when all are sleeping...

I really dont know what I should do.. he says he loves me but am I losing him? am I losing my family?
Although he tell u he is going out, u will not know is he with her? So what's the use?

I feel now he is very careful n secretly continuing with the affair.

As their relationship continue, your relationship with him will be worsen and u will be losing him。

U should get strong evidence he's still seening her and make him stop. If not u might lose your marriage.
 
Be financially sound will be the best way out of this. Do not cry over spill milk. If a guy loves a woman, in no way they will be looking for other woman (at least that applies to me).
 
I feel some guy look for other women not just for love but wan try something new or different, they can have sex without love and many who have affair doesn't mean they don't love the family or wife, but they wan best of both world.
 
I feel some guy look for other women not just for love but wan try something new or different, they can have sex without love and many who have affair doesn't mean they don't love the family or wife, but they wan best of both world.

Well.. that is possible but for me, I won't. It maybe due to past experience whereby i was betrayed when I was young which explains why I will never do it.
 
Scam. Do not even contact them. The only body you require is the ica or the mom. Moreover, in no way you can get all the related platform's information as they work differently. I do know a few ways but no I won't help anyone.
 
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Scam. Do not even contact them. The only body you require is the ica or the mom. Moreover, in no way you can get all the related platform's information as they work differently. I do know a few ways but no I won't help anyone.
Yes, pls dont send email, he might use this to blackmail u.
 
Scam. Do not even contact them. The only body you require is the ica or the mom. Moreover, in no way you can get all the related platform's information as they work differently. I do know a few ways but no I won't help anyone.
Already complaint to admin. U shouldn't quote the post cos when admin delete the original post, the quote stil be there
 
Look for businesses somewhere else.
If u are real, tell us which company u from. Are u register in Singapore
 
is there anyone who managed to salvage a marriage in this situation, where the other lady is in another country? they have been msging and perhaps video calling every night.. even when we were on a family holiday recently.. it seems even more frequent.. as much as he tries to be subtle.. I knew what was going on and im very hurt... however from the trip.. somehow I still feel the love from him... but I also know if he really wants and needs to choose.. ill be the one he ll let go. I love him and I really want to keep the marriage going and giving my kids a complete and happy family.. is there anything that I can do to try to make things work and for him to see that it is worth trying one more time? I just hope to give it one more go...
 
is there anyone who managed to salvage a marriage in this situation, where the other lady is in another country? they have been msging and perhaps video calling every night.. even when we were on a family holiday recently.. it seems even more frequent.. as much as he tries to be subtle.. I knew what was going on and im very hurt... however from the trip.. somehow I still feel the love from him... but I also know if he really wants and needs to choose.. ill be the one he ll let go. I love him and I really want to keep the marriage going and giving my kids a complete and happy family.. is there anything that I can do to try to make things work and for him to see that it is worth trying one more time? I just hope to give it one more go...

I can give u one super last resort.
Hire a honey trapper.

How it works is this. This lady will mesmerize your hubby and let your hubby spend more time with her. Upon which, your hubby will lose interest with the current woman and then this woman will ditch your hubby. At the end of the day, your hubby will think you are the best.

The above is the pros.

Now lets listen to the cons,

- there is still a chance your hubby returns to the mistress.

- Your hubby gets another woman.

- chances of this succeeding is only 50%
 


This girl is from Thailand. I believe your hubby gives her money every month.
Do you believe in barang? Because I do. Barang meaning black magic.

She may have some with her as it is pretty normal in Thailand.

Is your hubby and her of huge age gap? If so, I think there might be a chance this woman two time your hubby.

So hire someone head to Thailand and get evidence.

It will not be easy but I am sure she has another guy behind his back since these women are out for money.

What you need is her address and her photo and of course sufficient money to do this "mission".

the chance of savaging your marriage is much higher with this methodology.

If you seriously want to try it out, let me know and I will explain to you more in details.
 

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