What would you do?

[coachy0203]

Hi all. I'm asking on behalf of my friend.

Her husband used to have a mistress abd she founs out about it. It was before they have their kid. It was 10 years ago. The kid now is 6 years old.

Recently she realised her husband is very addicted to his hp. Also he often hangs around at his brother's pub on all Sat, until 2-3am. However, a week ago she found out that he didn't actually goes to the brother's pub but soemwhere else and came back at 7am! She confronted him but he denied.

She's confused and doesnt know what to do. She wants to check his hp but she thinks he wouldn't let her.

What would you do if you were her?

 

[sadliving]

I feel he would never let your friend check his hp.
Have to discreet. Since he is going out n lied about going to his brother pub. Then very good chance to follow him n see who is he with n what he's doing

 

[coachy0203]

Hi @sadliving hmm. What do you meant follow?like physically following him? Sorry no experienced in this kind of situation.

Its hard for her to physically follow him as shes having a full time job (He is working from home), she needs to take care of the son during weekends as her family is overseas, nobody can help her to look after her son. Sigh.

 

[triple70]

Does the fren want this marriage to end? Guys will be guys. Be possessive and the marriage will surely end. Fren shd focus on wooing the hubby back, not piss him away

 

[JL8118]

maybe get a PI? Or probably get a friend, whom her hubby doesn't know about to follow him?

 

[coachy0203]

Yeah, she still wanna keep the marriage, also, divorce is not good for the son i guess.

Im not sure how she is in the marriage but she is a super nice person to friends. I guess the husband is bored with her after getting married for more than 10 years. Guys probably want excited stuff i guess. sigh

Does the fren want this marriage to end? Guys will be guys. Be possessive and the marriage will surely end. Fren shd focus on wooing the hubby back, not piss him away

 

[coachy0203]

Im thinking of the PI, but it's too expensive for her to hire one.

Getting a friend to follow him? My hubby was saying this too (but jokingly lah, we dont have the experience to follow people lol)

maybe get a PI? Or probably get a friend, whom her hubby doesn't know about to follow him?

 

[Meimei123]

Does the fren want this marriage to end? Guys will be guys. Be possessive and the marriage will surely end. Fren shd focus on wooing the hubby back, not piss him away

Agree. Ur fren must know what she wants, if ur fren really finds out her husband is having an affair, will she divorce. If so, get a PI.

 

[sadliving]

Not sure y we must woo man back. If he wan to stray, there will 101 problem he will pick on the wife, the grass is always greener on the other side.

 

[coachy0203]

Do you know normally how much does it cost to hire a PI? how do they charge? per day or per "package"? how much per "package" if there is?

Agree. Ur fren must know what she wants, if ur fren really finds out her husband is having an affair, will she divorce. If so, get a PI.

 

[triple70]

Why need a PI? Just hv a talk with him. Straight to the point.

 

[coachy0203]

Well, my friend tried to talk to him but he denied everything, and ended up they always quarrel about it. The problem is here: she has no evidence, but she knew he is lying. He said he didnt come home until 7am because he couldnt drive that day after drinking too much, hence he slept in the park in a car park. He either thought my friend is stupid or he is just too lazy to think of other excuses. sigh.

Anyway, i talked to my friend, it seems like she decided to give up, but she hasnt thought about the divorce yet, as she is too busy right now, and trying to think thing through.

I think she is also very tired of him, he is an extremely macho man and quite selfish. He worked overseas for a couple of years leaving her staying in Singapore with his mom and son (again, she is not local, no family here).

Why need a PI? Just hv a talk with him. Straight to the point.

 

[sadliving]

Why need a PI? Just hv a talk with him. Straight to the point.

We are not living in a fairy land. If talk can settle things, there wont be wars in the world

 

[QIANX2]

Why need a PI? Just hv a talk with him. Straight to the point.

Talk?
In real world, do u think it will work?
The answer is acceptable?
Its will make matter worse! He would say the wife nag, after giving a stupid answer or excuse n push the blame to her.i hv being thru this.

 

[triple70]

If talking not working, then just discuss div. If the guy is having fun outside, confirm he wont object to a div.
Just find a lawyer to file. No need any PI evidence. But lawyer will need examples of unreasonable behaviour. And that does not require any PI.

 

[QIANX2]

This is the real world. If everyone like u then there is no quarrel, no world. U think u wan divorce, the other party wouldnt contest?
What unreasonable. Not talking? Hahaha. No prove.