Pregnant but scolded for not giving seat to elderly

Hi all, just want to share my experience and hear if any of you experienced the same and how you responded?

I'm 15 weeks pregnant and was sitting at one priority seat on the MRT today. This pregnancy, I have almost fainted 4 times especially in the mornings so I always ensure I get a seat on MRT in the mornings even if I need to ask from others. I don't expect people to be able to tell I'm pregnant so I pro-actively ask in the mornings where I'm prone to fainting but in the evenings, I don't bother asking.

Anyway, this morning, while I was sitting at one priority seat, one elderly lady with a walking stick came. She used it to nudge my leg but I didn't give up my seat. After awhile, the auntie beside me stood up and gave her seat to the elderly lady but then proceeded to scold me. Then I told her that "I am pregnant, if I give up my seat, I might faint". She then ignored me and avoided eye contact with me without apologising.

The elderly lady then proceeded to sit down but not before scolding me too. She said "zhe zhong ren ye you!".
I then explained to her in Chinese "wo huai yun. Ru guo wo zhan qi lai, ke nen hui yun." She just ignored me and proceeded to thank the auntie for giving up her seat.

Seriously, I was so upset! Next time, if I come across such situation, before it escalates to this where everyone starts scolding me should I request for the person sitting beside me to give up seat for the elderly, and that I can't because I'm pregnant and prone to fainting?

Being pregnant, I have to take care of myself when I'm alone and not depend on strangers to take care of me. That means when I'm feeling faint, I quickly find a place to sit and something to eat. When I'm on MRT, I find a seat for myself and request if no one offers one to me. I'm pretty sure if I had stood up for the elderly lady, I would definitely have felt faint with the MRT Crowd all around and haven't having eaten anything in the morning. Is it wrong to care for myself and my baby? Why do others feel they have the right to judge me and scold me? So upset.

Seriously I have almost lost all hope in this society. People are not kind. When I'm out with my toddler, if he screams and cries, I hear aunties around me gossiping loudly. One even approached my mom another day later to say I cannot handle my son and scolded him for being naughty (seriously? He's like younger than 2. Tantrums are inevitable). So sick of seeing all this judgemental people when I don't even know them and they feel like they have the right to judge me and make all sorts of comments about me!

And I'm now serving notice at work as I have decided to quit to focus on my family. But at work, people don't really know I'm pregnant and some make snide remarks to me like "Oh so you're staying at home to shake leg??". HUH???!!!
 

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hugs can understand your situation.
Is your tummy still small that people wont know you are preggy?
I ever encountered being asked to give up seat during pregnancy 4 years ago...as my tummy was still rather small people cant tell that I was pregnant and insisted me to give up my seat.
few weeks back i was unwell suddenly and keep wanting to vomit on the train, i got a seat at reserved seat and the lady beside me saw me feeling unwell..then there was this old auntie asking for my seat very loud telling me her knees were arching..the lady beside then asked me to remain seated while she proceed to let her seat to the old auntie. Rare to see such a kind lady.
When i was pregnant, initially i did not dare to voice out if asked to let my seat but after some time I feel why should I be the one giving up when people next to me who are youngster just act blur that I will ask the person next to me to give up their seats instead.
 
I can sympathise with u.
When I was pregnant last year, I always felt damn stress whenever I took the train.
(1) My appearance seemed to force people to give up their seats to me when I cld tell most people r happily glued to their seats.
(2) If I don't sit, I scared I will lose my balance if the train jam brake / I get giddy due to motion sickness + hunger.
So I rather take bus most of the time, higher chances of getting a seat.
My tummy started showing when I was abt 10 weeks. Since then, I tried to make my tummy more obvious...even when seated, I made sure my tummy was showing obviously!
Once someone gave up her priority seat to me at the 2-seater area on the train...an old lady boarded and she stood in front of me. But she saw my big tummy so didn't say anything but I felt so stressed...don't know to give up seat to her a not. In the end, I gently asked the lady beside me (she was zzz-ing) to give up her seat to the old lady...thankfully the lady was kind to do so and the old lady thanked me.
Perhaps in your case, be the one to help the old lady ask for a seat ....be a bit thick skin and loudly announce to the other people seated.... "Anyone can give up your seat to this ah ma?!" :D
 
I feel you joyfulmommy. My bump was very small, started showing only towards end of 2nd trimester. 1st trimester was horrible, nearly fainted. I had no choice but to squat down for like 6-7 stations, no one gave up their seats. lol. But occasionally got people ask youngster or male passenger who are sitting on the reserved seats to stand up and give me the seat. I guess there are good and inconsiderate people around ba..
 
I also encountered numerous time people just look away, or pretend not to see my tummy on the mrt, even it means standing right in front the reserved seat occupied by a young working adult.
This is my 3rd pregnancy, and my tummy look bigger than my first two.
No way the commuters doesn't know. My 4th month looks like 6mth.

I gave up taking mrt to work eventually, and end up taking grabcar and justgrab to work daily since week 20.
 
hugs can understand your situation.
Is your tummy still small that people wont know you are preggy?
I ever encountered being asked to give up seat during pregnancy 4 years ago...as my tummy was still rather small people cant tell that I was pregnant and insisted me to give up my seat.
few weeks back i was unwell suddenly and keep wanting to vomit on the train, i got a seat at reserved seat and the lady beside me saw me feeling unwell..then there was this old auntie asking for my seat very loud telling me her knees were arching..the lady beside then asked me to remain seated while she proceed to let her seat to the old auntie. Rare to see such a kind lady.
When i was pregnant, initially i did not dare to voice out if asked to let my seat but after some time I feel why should I be the one giving up when people next to me who are youngster just act blur that I will ask the person next to me to give up their seats instead.
Ya I look quite young and I wore a maternity dress which is quite loose and it's black so maybe they can't see.. but when I explained the auntie should say sorry... not just ignore me after humiliating me... Oh well. Next time I shall wear tighter dresses!
 
Oh my! I can understand your plight. I really think that kindness is lacking in urban cities these days. I usually take a cab when I'm out because I prefer to avoid the stress. I was feeling cheap one day and decided to take an express bus to Orchard and nobody offered me a seat even though i was almost 9months pregnant then. -.- My friends used to tell that when you have a belly, you will suddenly see many people sleeping on public transport haha.

I was pretty annoyed but then i told myself the priority seats are only an entitlement. Plenty of people do not offer their seats. Not just seats, Singaporeans love to hog the lifts too. If you are fit and able, take the escalators please. Senior citizens and parents with prams should have priority too. It is just my opinion though.
 
Seriously I have almost lost all hope in this society. People are not kind. When I'm out with my toddler, if he screams and cries, I hear aunties around me gossiping loudly. One even approached my mom another day later to say I cannot handle my son and scolded him for being naughty (seriously? He's like younger than 2. Tantrums are inevitable). So sick of seeing all this judgemental people when I don't even know them and they feel like they have the right to judge me and make all sorts of comments about me!

And I'm now serving notice at work as I have decided to quit to focus on my family. But at work, people don't really know I'm pregnant and some make snide remarks to me like "Oh so you're staying at home to shake leg??". HUH???!!!

Ignore the idiots. If they don't know, educate your colleagues.

As for ppl who make noise or judge you on your kid... ignore them or tell them to mind their own business. Singaporeans are indeed pretty intolerant of kids and very selfish. I'm talking about just normal kids aged 2-4 who misbehave a little. They are pre-school KIDS. Hello!

ps. Your mom should tell them to bugger off or just ignore them with a f** off look. Ha
 
There are definitely good people around, when I was pregnant I did not expect others to give up theirs seat but they did. Well, heard many stories like how people fall into sleeps once pregnant or old people stand infront of them...ha ha:D

Speaking of giving up seats, I encountered 1 very embarrassed incident. Few years back when I was on the bus, 1 lady stand infront of me, she looks like few months pregnant thought she was skinny but I wasn't 100% sure and she was wearing a loose blouse.....So finally I took up my courage and ask if she pregnant and wanted to her my seat, she smiled and said she is not....:eek:Though she was not angry but I felt so...............embarrassed........think she also....!:oops: So now, sometimes some women with a bigger belly but don't know is fat or pregnant, stand infront of me while I am sitting, I wonder if I should give up my seat or not.........:(
 
So finally I took up my courage and ask if she pregnant and wanted to her my seat, she smiled and said she is not....:eek:Though she was not angry but I felt so...............embarrassed........think she also....!:oops: So now, sometimes some women with a bigger belly but don't know is fat or pregnant, stand infront of me while I am sitting, I wonder if I should give up my seat or not.........:(

Just ask... would you like my seat? :)
 
Too many elderly or even not-so-old-trying-to-behave-old people are feeling self-entitled to seats. Some of them are so rude, do not deserve the respect. There are also young ppl who are sick and may need the seat more than them.
 
Too many elderly or even not-so-old-trying-to-behave-old people are feeling self-entitled to seats. Some of them are so rude, do not deserve the respect. There are also young ppl who are sick and may need the seat more than them.

To be fair, I think its a vicious cycle. Some inconsiderate young ppl won't give up their seats automatically. Some pretend to sleep or not notice. So old folks end up becoming more assertive to get the few seats that are reserved for them.
 

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