What is love,

Candy1984

New Member
Feeling stressed.

Husband is taking good care of his own family and very aggressive towards me.

When with my family, he like to show off his wealth, he keep quite when talk abt sending my family home whenever theres outing. He keep quiet and wait for my family to treat him. Whever my dad is at my house, he keep quiet dont borther send him to my house our send him back home.

N he offer to fetch his dad n make it a point every sat. To fetch his dad back n forth every sat. Despite i am busy or whether i got friends coming over. He dont borther.

Child, anything happen to baby. He point finger at me. I am at fault! If things is serious abt baby, he gather his family n say i am at fault.

Forget to bring baby stuff, blur. He will scream i am at fault.

His job is stress n unhappy, colleague bully me. Husband say my job very easy one. Must stay on.

I am very say is like no one i can trust
 


I also wonder that is love. Some people told me is about kinship than love after had a family.


Everything abt baby i forgot or never do properly he point finger n scold blame me. Take care baby he throw to me n maid. Finiancially he say share half half.

I am tired financially n physcially
 
my hb only like to watch his own shows at hm. when i bug him he feel irritating and stop me from talking to him
 
When facing my hubby family, they will bully me. Keep telling me lucky my baby not like me, like my husband. Which i feel is very personal attack to me. Its too much!

My hubby aunty say my reaction very slow. Very sacastic n say lucky baby not like me. Baby is mine, she got no rights to critisize
 
Candy1984, don't take the comments to heart. Some people just say things without much thinking.

When I had my elder boy, hb's family and relatives all commented he looked like hb. After my 2nd boy was born, they all said the 2nd boy was a photocopy of hb. One aunt even commented that the elder boy don't know look like who after saying little boy resembled hb. Luckily she spoke Hokkien. If not, my elder boy sure upset. None of them ever say the boys look like me.

If possible, I think they prefer not to mention me in front of my boys.
 
Candy1984, don't take the comments to heart. Some people just say things without much thinking.

When I had my elder boy, hb's family and relatives all commented he looked like hb. After my 2nd boy was born, they all said the 2nd boy was a photocopy of hb. One aunt even commented that the elder boy don't know look like who after saying little boy resembled hb. Luckily she spoke Hokkien. If not, my elder boy sure upset. None of them ever say the boys look like me.

If possible, I think they prefer not to mention me in front of my boys.


Please lot child u carry n deliver! Not them!
 
Today my aunt told me a couple with a third party story. Went back i told my hubby abt it, no hidden intention. Just casual chat. U know la couple ma will say dear my aunt's friend hubby once his wifr pass away liao. The wife very poor thing cos the hubby took away her asset n remarry. I feel sorry for the wife.

Guess wat i saw? My hubby go to his family grp chat n post wat i told him, then followed by saying. My wife ask will i do this to her? Bloody hell ask this kind of que.

Isnt it i am his wife? Why need to back stab me to his family? Somemore i am just casual saying. He need to go to his family n stab me?
 
I always emphasis : don't be a pushover! If he scolds u for unfair reasons, scold him back. Let him know you're NO pushover.

Just let him know to step back. I always do that with my Husband. He scold me daily, once a month, I give him a big scolding and shouting and tel him to respect me. Until my in laws have to step in haha

Anyway, don't be mistreated k :)


Feeling stressed.

Husband is taking good care of his own family and very aggressive towards me.

When with my family, he like to show off his wealth, he keep quite when talk abt sending my family home whenever theres outing. He keep quiet and wait for my family to treat him. Whever my dad is at my house, he keep quiet dont borther send him to my house our send him back home.

N he offer to fetch his dad n make it a point every sat. To fetch his dad back n forth every sat. Despite i am busy or whether i got friends coming over. He dont borther.

Child, anything happen to baby. He point finger at me. I am at fault! If things is serious abt baby, he gather his family n say i am at fault.

Forget to bring baby stuff, blur. He will scream i am at fault.

His job is stress n unhappy, colleague bully me. Husband say my job very easy one. Must stay on.

I am very say is like no one i can trust
 
Agree


It's like best friends living together rather than lovers
Lor

Haha best friends! Sometimes it seems like strangers. Went back after work, both have nothing to talk and do our own things.

Sometimes I wonder who am I to him? Just like he don't tell me what he do during the day. He felt he needs to report to me whenever I asked.
 
The zha bors in this forum should organize a picnic. Love the food, love the companies, love the bitching, love the sand and the sea, love dumping the husbands at home and by the end of the day...

Bring the good memories and love home! :)
 
The zha bors in this forum should organize a picnic. Love the food, love the companies, love the bitching, love the sand and the sea, love dumping the husbands at home and by the end of the day...

Bring the good memories and love home! :)

Haha I like your idea
 
Haha my Husband also like this. We can talk more ^^ I managed to get through this. Can share with u

Haha best friends! Sometimes it seems like strangers. Went back after work, both have nothing to talk and do our own things.

Sometimes I wonder who am I to him? Just like he don't tell me what he do during the day. He felt he needs to report to me whenever I asked.
Hah
 
The zha bors in this forum should organize a picnic. Love the food, love the companies, love the bitching, love the sand and the sea, love dumping the husbands at home and by the end of the day...

Bring the good memories and love home! :)
where got time....
children.... children...children....
 
Haha I like your idea

Great! I will appoint you as the organizer. You can start collecting numbers to add into whatsapp Picnic group. Please do it discreetly. Don't let the moderator knows about it. :p

where got time....
children.... children...children....

You can bring your children and their teddy bears along. You can bring anything except your husband. Or you prefer the Picnic to be set at your place? You tell your husband on that day, there is no sufficient space for him. I can let the organizer knows about it so she can arrange for catering. :p
 
You can bring your children and their teddy bears along. You can bring anything except your husband. Or you prefer the Picnic to be set at your place? You tell your husband on that day, there is no sufficient space for him. I can let the organizer knows about it so she can arrange for catering. :p

Lol... seriously no joke.. I would prefer to just sleep at home... sleep most important to me now... and if got spare time gaming! No time for social life :D
 
Very piss!! After kid is born! Every sat his dad at our place. Got to report to him where i go etc if i go out!

Even if i go holiday with my own dad also cannot! His dad will say why never bring him along! And best is his aunty volunteer yo join me my dad n my sister for holiday. Even though i nv invite them!
 
Very piss!! After kid is born! Every sat his dad at our place. Got to report to him where i go etc if i go out!

Even if i go holiday with my own dad also cannot! His dad will say why never bring him along! And best is his aunty volunteer yo join me my dad n my sister for holiday. Even though i nv invite them!

Some ppl are just plain thick skinned.perhaps u should made it known to them that they are not welcomed.at least u voice out ur opinions and made urself feel better.
 
No use, i voice out to him, he very aggressive back to me. Now he come out new pattern. I go holiday with him n my dad n sis. He ask my sister treat us. He keep saying he no money. I must ask my family to stay away from him. He keep wanting my family to treat him
 
No use, i voice out to him, he very aggressive back to me. Now he come out new pattern. I go holiday with him n my dad n sis. He ask my sister treat us. He keep saying he no money. I must ask my family to stay away from him. He keep wanting my family to treat him


Hmm,what was he like during the dating period?Tell your sister not to oblige him.
 
Hmm,what was he like during the dating period?Tell your sister not to oblige him.


During dating period, he is stingy but not to tis extend. Now with kid he even worst. Stingy to me, aggressive to me infront of my family n.his family.

Got like tat, a 35 year old men go holi with me, my sis n dad. From day 1 to day 3 he say no money to eat or even treat my dad n sis. Lodging pay n share 3 pax. Food he no money. N ask my sis treat us.

Where his money goes to? Buy big car and go out spread to ppl he is a rich!
 
Recently say want to buy executive condo, ask me take out money, now home expenses share half half.

Got husband like no husband like tat
 
During dating period, he is stingy but not to tis extend. Now with kid he even worst. Stingy to me, aggressive to me infront of my family n.his family.

Got like tat, a 35 year old men go holi with me, my sis n dad. From day 1 to day 3 he say no money to eat or even treat my dad n sis. Lodging pay n share 3 pax. Food he no money. N ask my sis treat us.

Where his money goes to? Buy big car and go out spread to ppl he is a rich!

He is selfish and think of himself only.Think you better take care of urself too.tell him that you dun have much money to share half with him over the expenses.if he insist or whatever,use the same tactic on him,pretend to complain you also dun have much money.

Nowadays men are less reliable.it is important that we women be financially independent for ourselves and our children.
 
Nowadays men are less reliable.it is important that we women be financially independent for ourselves and our children.

Many men just can't tolerate with women being too financially independent. Many men will have their egos being smashed! :oops:
 
Many men just can't tolerate with women being too financially independent. Many men will have their egos being smashed! :oops:

Huh?what kind of logic is that?if you are dependent on men for all stuff, they will get stressed too.when that happened, arguments ensued.
 
I always emphasis : don't be a pushover! If he scolds u for unfair reasons, scold him back. Let him know you're NO pushover.

Just let him know to step back. I always do that with my Husband. He scold me daily, once a month, I give him a big scolding and shouting and tel him to respect me. Until my in laws have to step in haha

Anyway, don't be mistreated k :)

This method has to be used carefully.if not it may backfired and make matters worse.some men can't afford to be shouted at.it might be unsafe for the lady too.
 
He is selfish and think of himself only.Think you better take care of urself too.tell him that you dun have much money to share half with him over the expenses.if he insist or whatever,use the same tactic on him,pretend to complain you also dun have much money.

Nowadays men are less reliable.it is important that we women be financially independent for ourselves and our children.


I cried inside my heart, my husband treat my family like outsider. N worst even outsider you wont open your mouth and ask outsider to treat you right?

I am really worried, if i give him money to buy luxury items. Nxt tome if me or mine family need money. Go where to find money? Doubt so i can rely on him. Living in this world is just fake, everyone is just putting on a mask.

My dad though my husband very rich n i am living on luxury life, he expect me to give him money without apprectiating me. Somehow he jus expect me to give him money and always treat n spend money on him, n not caring for me. I am pregnant my own dad sees i am living n with a rich husband. My own dad never even buy a single piece of food for me.

I am only earning barely 2k a month, i save n i am very thrifty. I dont spend much on myself. I only spend on my baby and buy food for dad. Need pay for home groceries and need pay fr maid cum maid expenses. N he give me zero cent

Him? Just want to save his own money to buy big car and condo

I
 
I cried inside my heart, my husband treat my family like outsider. N worst even outsider you wont open your mouth and ask outsider to treat you right?

I am really worried, if i give him money to buy luxury items. Nxt tome if me or mine family need money. Go where to find money? Doubt so i can rely on him. Living in this world is just fake, everyone is just putting on a mask.

My dad though my husband very rich n i am living on luxury life, he expect me to give him money without apprectiating me. Somehow he jus expect me to give him money and always treat n spend money on him, n not caring for me. I am pregnant my own dad sees i am living n with a rich husband. My own dad never even buy a single piece of food for me.

I am only earning barely 2k a month, i save n i am very thrifty. I dont spend much on myself. I only spend on my baby and buy food for dad. Need pay for home groceries and need pay fr maid cum maid expenses. N he give me zero cent

Him? Just want to save his own money to buy big car and condo

I

You said u earn about 2k per mth after cpf how to afford so many things like bb stuff, food and maid.
U still need public transport and u have a bb now. U need to save at least $100 per mth aside for the baby cos baby expenses is very high and u don't know when u will need to use for the baby.

Frankly, I will say ur hubby is a lousy father.
Baby also his.
Condo is only for those has extra cash mthly. Condo insta will adjust every yr and many ppl jobless and hard to find back a job with old salary. From ur case, I suggest u stick to ur current flat. No matter what u still have a shelter for u and bb. Condo can kick u out if u missed out few instal.

Why ur own dad never buy u food? U can jus tel ur family this is nothing shameful cos they are ur own family. If u say in law yes I agreed we shouldn't go and tell our in law too much stuffs cos no matter what they are not our own family.
But if even ur own family don't help u, I suggest u should think a way out for urself now than u regret in future.
 
You said u earn about 2k per mth after cpf how to afford so many things like bb stuff, food and maid.
U still need public transport and u have a bb now. U need to save at least $100 per mth aside for the baby cos baby expenses is very high and u don't know when u will need to use for the baby.

Frankly, I will say ur hubby is a lousy father.
Baby also his.
Condo is only for those has extra cash mthly. Condo insta will adjust every yr and many ppl jobless and hard to find back a job with old salary. From ur case, I suggest u stick to ur current flat. No matter what u still have a shelter for u and bb. Condo can kick u out if u missed out few instal.

Why ur own dad never buy u food? U can jus tel ur family this is nothing shameful cos they are ur own family. If u say in law yes I agreed we shouldn't go and tell our in law too much stuffs cos no matter what they are not our own family.
But if even ur own family don't help u, I suggest u should think a way out for urself now than u regret in future.

Agree.Mummy should take good care of urself first.let ur own family know your situation truthfully,if not ur dad will continue to misunderstand your situation.Be strong for ur child.
 
I cried inside my heart, my husband treat my family like outsider. N worst even outsider you wont open your mouth and ask outsider to treat you right?

I am really worried, if i give him money to buy luxury items. Nxt tome if me or mine family need money. Go where to find money? Doubt so i can rely on him. Living in this world is just fake, everyone is just putting on a mask.

My dad though my husband very rich n i am living on luxury life, he expect me to give him money without apprectiating me. Somehow he jus expect me to give him money and always treat n spend money on him, n not caring for me. I am pregnant my own dad sees i am living n with a rich husband. My own dad never even buy a single piece of food for me.

I am only earning barely 2k a month, i save n i am very thrifty. I dont spend much on myself. I only spend on my baby and buy food for dad. Need pay for home groceries and need pay fr maid cum maid expenses. N he give me zero cent

Him? Just want to save his own money to buy big car and condo

I
Hi,ur husband is just plain thick skinned with no sense of shame.that is why he can't be compared with outsiders.dun be upset that he treat your family like outsider,not worth getting upset.some ppl are like that,they only cared abt their own families.moreover blood is thicker than water.i was once upset that my Mil treats me like an outsider no matter how much I tried to be nice to her.i once told her my hubby flaws and she just ignored me and side her own son.i realized she will never side me.now I'm not concerned over this anymore.even though ur married into the family ur still an outsider.also dun be upset over what your dad did.some parents think now it's time their children support them so naturally they would want to rely on them for almost everything.just treat it as you are repaying him for raising you up.if u think ur dad gone too far or whatever,just tell him in a calm manner how u feel.

As for the world being fake,that I agree.sometimes I'm disappointed with the ppl also.ppl u think are real friends but actually are not. Friends aside,even our own family can disappoint us sometimes.i have learned that we lived in a society which values monetary gains more than anything else,hence ppl tend to be selfish.what is kinship? Money matters more. Harsh but true.People with no agenda are hard to find nowadays also.if you manage to find one,cherish them.

You have a child,so it is already a blessing to you.Take good care of the child and heck care that selfish husband of urs.Dun agree to his unreasonable financial demands.If he forces you,let ur inlaws and family know.dun give in to him.

Treat yourself well,do things u like.Make urself happy.Be strong ok?For yourself and ur child.
 
Agree.Mummy should take good care of urself first.let ur own family know your situation truthfully,if not ur dad will continue to misunderstand your situation.Be strong for ur child.


No use, my dad took advantage of me. He say i am married. Its right that i support him. But its his responsibilities to take care his son. N he wont borther me as i am married. He say my husband always go tell him he is rich. So my dad suppose i am well off. Dont nd him to care for me
 
Hi,ur husband is just plain thick skinned with no sense of shame.that is why he can't be compared with outsiders.dun be upset that he treat your family like outsider,not worth getting upset.some ppl are like that,they only cared abt their own families.moreover blood is thicker than water.i was once upset that my Mil treats me like an outsider no matter how much I tried to be nice to her.i once told her my hubby flaws and she just ignored me and side her own son.i realized she will never side me.now I'm not concerned over this anymore.even though ur married into the family ur still an outsider.also dun be upset over what your dad did.some parents think now it's time their children support them so naturally they would want to rely on them for almost everything.just treat it as you are repaying him for raising you up.if u think ur dad gone too far or whatever,just tell him in a calm manner how u feel.

As for the world being fake,that I agree.sometimes I'm disappointed with the ppl also.ppl u think are real friends but actually are not. Friends aside,even our own family can disappoint us sometimes.i have learned that we lived in a society which values monetary gains more than anything else,hence ppl tend to be selfish.what is kinship? Money matters more. Harsh but true.People with no agenda are hard to find nowadays also.if you manage to find one,cherish them.

You have a child,so it is already a blessing to you.Take good care of the child and heck care that selfish husband of urs.Dun agree to his unreasonable financial demands.If he forces you,let ur inlaws and family know.dun give in to him.

Treat yourself well,do things u like.Make urself happy.Be strong ok?For yourself and ur child.

Yes, agree the only hope is my child now, ppl are jus taking advantages of me.

Yes wat kind of man is he? Go holiday with my family, villa shared by 3 pax. Food ask my sister treat all of us n say he no money. This is not tge first time he go out with my sister n relatives he sit there talk big say he got big car and sit there wait for my family to treat him.
 
Yes, agree the only hope is my child now, ppl are jus taking advantages of me.

Yes wat kind of man is he? Go holiday with my family, villa shared by 3 pax. Food ask my sister treat all of us n say he no money. This is not tge first time he go out with my sister n relatives he sit there talk big say he got big car and sit there wait for my family to treat him.

Tell him since he is so rich,he should pay All the expenses.if not , tell him to stop bragging to your family.
 
if you are dependent on men for all stuff, they will get stressed too.when that happened, arguments ensued.

There is a something a dependent woman craves for when dating/ settling down with a man and Vice Versa. It is not uncommon when financial matters got out of hand, arguments ensued and may even lead to marriages tearing apart. No logic can explain such issues in details. :)
 
I am really worried, if i give him money to buy luxury items. Nxt tome if me or mine family need money. Go where to find money? Doubt so i can rely on him. Living in this world is just fake, everyone is just putting on a mask.

I used to have a... hmm... good friend whom I thought... pleaded with me to pawn my jewelries, and then to loan him the money for his car's monthly installment. He can't afford to take public transport because he had given an impression to many girls his lifestyle everything's gonna be alright!

I not only just putting on a mask, I glued it to my face so when I bragged about how tough the kind of life I'm leading, the mask don't laughs and falls off. I did not even reply a single text from him till date. :p
 
Yes, agree the only hope is my child now, ppl are jus taking advantages of me.

Yes wat kind of man is he? Go holiday with my family, villa shared by 3 pax. Food ask my sister treat all of us n say he no money. This is not tge first time he go out with my sister n relatives he sit there talk big say he got big car and sit there wait for my family to treat him.

I am quite curious on what big car is he driving
Get ur dad or sis to talk back to him and get him pay since he sit and talk...
if not, jus go holiday without him since he has no $.
He can continue talk big and tell his friends or ur family that he pay for the trip for u and baby to go... haha that's even sounds he is very generous, isn't it?

Sorry I not trying to mean. But ur hubby really cannot make it.
My hubby also not earning a lot in the past and had a lot of debts to clear and we have 1 kid during that time. How bad our finance is, he never asked my family member to treats or talk big. He will still try to pay some of the bills even he left few hundreds for himself. I not saying my hubby is good but I am trying to tel u is no matter what a man must behaves like a man especially for a family. He is the head of family but yet he cannot afford any single thing and know how to hao lian. This type of guy frankly will only bring unhappiness to u.

Especially money in a family. No matter how a man love the family. Without financial support, we women will feel unbalanced ( matter of time when u cannot tahan) I even had that feeling before and went thru.
 
There is a something a dependent woman craves for when dating/ settling down with a man and Vice Versa. It is not uncommon when financial matters got out of hand, arguments ensued and may even lead to marriages tearing apart. No logic can explain such issues in details. :)

Yes,but to be totally dependent on him will stress him out and cause arguments.im sure men will appreciate their wives for not relying financially on them for everything.

Just now u mentioned men egos will be affected if women were to be financially independent.it only holds true if the guy is very wealthy or perhaps have an inflated ego.but in most cases,where majority are working class guys,they would expect their women to be financially independent.
 
Yes, agree the only hope is my child now, ppl are jus taking advantages of me.

Yes wat kind of man is he? Go holiday with my family, villa shared by 3 pax. Food ask my sister treat all of us n say he no money. This is not tge first time he go out with my sister n relatives he sit there talk big say he got big car and sit there wait for my family to treat him.

May I know what attracted you to him in the first place?
 
Yes,but to be totally dependent on him will stress him out and cause arguments.im sure men will appreciate their wives for not relying financially on them for everything.

Just now u mentioned men egos will be affected if women were to be financially independent.it only holds true if the guy is very wealthy or perhaps have an inflated ego.but in most cases,where majority are working class guys,they would expect their women to be financially independent.

Sure it does stress him out! In general, men will appreciate their wives for not splurging on unnecessary stuffs especially when the budget is tight. What's worst is after splurging on unnecessary stuffs, she starts to complain money not enough. :p

Based on my personal experiences and observations on many different behaviors of men, the top two categories fall onto 1) Like you mentioned those with an inflated egos and 2) Those with a high sense of inferior complexities and 3) Those with an inflated egos plus a high sense of inferior complexities. It applies to whether they are working class or not.

As for whether the working class guys having any expectation on their women, it is still up to the women's judgement and call to deem if the relationship is worth pursuing for? :)
 
Sure it does stress him out! In general, men will appreciate their wives for not splurging on unnecessary stuffs especially when the budget is tight. What's worst is after splurging on unnecessary stuffs, she starts to complain money not enough. :p

Based on my personal experiences and observations on many different behaviors of men, the top two categories fall onto 1) Like you mentioned those with an inflated egos and 2) Those with a high sense of inferior complexities and 3) Those with an inflated egos plus a high sense of inferior complexities. It applies to whether they are working class or not.

As for whether the working class guys having any expectation on their women, it is still up to the women's judgement and call to deem if the relationship is worth pursuing for? :)


Hmm, he didnt give me any single cent, he ask me go buy groceries for whole family and baby food i am incharge. N he say share thr cost of helper half. Is this wife of hiz still not consider financial independent? N he still want to pend for my family to treat him.

Ever since baby born, i receive zero gift from him. Reason he ver tight.
 



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