SLmum
Member
i have always had a brittle relationship w my mother.
Growing up, I have always felt she was bias towards my brothers, especially my elder brother.
My parents work long hours, and we were left in the care of our granny and a maid.
I remember spending my weekends going shopping or movies with my maid, and barely any with my mother.
After my O level, I was sent to US to further my studies and I was placed in the trust of her "good friend " aka "Godmum." As it turned out, her warmth affection disappeared when I lived with her. I was all alone in a foreign land, 15k km away from Sg. I was treated like an outcast in her household. The moment I arrived at the airport, and taking her ride back to her house, she told me straight not to call her "godmum " but just by her name "Lee". This person visited my family every few years and brought many gifts for me! She had also sent greeting cards and signed off as "Godmum." And all of a sudden, she was cold and unrecognisable, just when I needed some warmth in a foreign land. Her brother and sis in law and kids live w her. Her Sister in law had also brazenly stole my branded watch which I had left in the bathroom minutes ago, and sneaked into my room when I was in school to steal more.
Lee forbade my friends from entering her house. I remember once during a bitter winter, my friend turned up at my place before I was ready, so I invited her in. ( back in the 90s, not everyone owned a cell phone) She stood only in the foyer, literally one step into the house. I got a "warning" for inviting friend over.
I do not wish to revisit those unhappy memories, there are many other instances where I felt so unwelcomed! I moved out a year later.
Fast forward to life back in Sg, meeting my Husband and preparing for my wedding. This person was visiting with a friend, Upon hearing it was my wedding, her friend whom I met a few times gave me an ang bao for blessings. Nothing at all from this person.
Years later, she again visited Singapore, this time w a group of friends, staying at my parents house. I am truly hurt that my mum and her still remain "good friends " despite what I had gone through at her household. I confronted my mum, who in turn said it was my fault as I had treated her friend badly..amongst a few other accusations, i also did not pay for my telephone bill and left her house. I know my own mother well, I believe her friend Did not even speak ill of me. It was my own mother who conjure up lies to me give herself excuses to continue her friendship. I did not speak to my mother for months, but soften up as she truly adores my kids. There is still this grudge I bear.
2-3 years have passed, February this year, her friend visited again. I was appalled my mum called me and asked me out for dinner with her friends, not telling me one of her friend was Lee! I hate to imagine the awkwardness of turning up at the dinner! I found out just before the dinner and did not turn up.
What my mum did after dinner was even more shocking. When I did not answer her call, she call my maid and ask her to go downstairs to pick up leftover food from dinner! WTXXXXXXX!!!! I did not turn up for dinner because I DO NOT WISH to see your friend and now u da bao left over for me??!!!
My parents live within close proximity. I see my parents almost every day, but have stopped communicating with my mum since Feb12. I used to do that almost daily with sending pic/video of my younger boy.
My mum is getting on in age, I don't know if I will have guilt or burden if she is gone. It's just so hurting to know that my mum values her friendship over her own daughter.
Thank u for reading my rant.
Growing up, I have always felt she was bias towards my brothers, especially my elder brother.
My parents work long hours, and we were left in the care of our granny and a maid.
I remember spending my weekends going shopping or movies with my maid, and barely any with my mother.
After my O level, I was sent to US to further my studies and I was placed in the trust of her "good friend " aka "Godmum." As it turned out, her warmth affection disappeared when I lived with her. I was all alone in a foreign land, 15k km away from Sg. I was treated like an outcast in her household. The moment I arrived at the airport, and taking her ride back to her house, she told me straight not to call her "godmum " but just by her name "Lee". This person visited my family every few years and brought many gifts for me! She had also sent greeting cards and signed off as "Godmum." And all of a sudden, she was cold and unrecognisable, just when I needed some warmth in a foreign land. Her brother and sis in law and kids live w her. Her Sister in law had also brazenly stole my branded watch which I had left in the bathroom minutes ago, and sneaked into my room when I was in school to steal more.
Lee forbade my friends from entering her house. I remember once during a bitter winter, my friend turned up at my place before I was ready, so I invited her in. ( back in the 90s, not everyone owned a cell phone) She stood only in the foyer, literally one step into the house. I got a "warning" for inviting friend over.
I do not wish to revisit those unhappy memories, there are many other instances where I felt so unwelcomed! I moved out a year later.
Fast forward to life back in Sg, meeting my Husband and preparing for my wedding. This person was visiting with a friend, Upon hearing it was my wedding, her friend whom I met a few times gave me an ang bao for blessings. Nothing at all from this person.
Years later, she again visited Singapore, this time w a group of friends, staying at my parents house. I am truly hurt that my mum and her still remain "good friends " despite what I had gone through at her household. I confronted my mum, who in turn said it was my fault as I had treated her friend badly..amongst a few other accusations, i also did not pay for my telephone bill and left her house. I know my own mother well, I believe her friend Did not even speak ill of me. It was my own mother who conjure up lies to me give herself excuses to continue her friendship. I did not speak to my mother for months, but soften up as she truly adores my kids. There is still this grudge I bear.
2-3 years have passed, February this year, her friend visited again. I was appalled my mum called me and asked me out for dinner with her friends, not telling me one of her friend was Lee! I hate to imagine the awkwardness of turning up at the dinner! I found out just before the dinner and did not turn up.
What my mum did after dinner was even more shocking. When I did not answer her call, she call my maid and ask her to go downstairs to pick up leftover food from dinner! WTXXXXXXX!!!! I did not turn up for dinner because I DO NOT WISH to see your friend and now u da bao left over for me??!!!
My parents live within close proximity. I see my parents almost every day, but have stopped communicating with my mum since Feb12. I used to do that almost daily with sending pic/video of my younger boy.
My mum is getting on in age, I don't know if I will have guilt or burden if she is gone. It's just so hurting to know that my mum values her friendship over her own daughter.
Thank u for reading my rant.
