DS Showing Autistic Symptoms

[IronMaiden80]

Hi Mummies / Daddies,

my DS is 21 months old and has been taken care of by my mil since I went back to work after the maternity leave at 4 months old. Since he was a baby, he has been watching tv and mostly left on the rocker without tummy time all day until I get home. Things remained the same even after he started walking, he is often wandering around the house on his own / watching tv and playing on his own. He is a late bloomer, crawling and walking later than other children his age.

For the past 2-3 months, I've noticed that he tends to flap his hands quite frequently especially when he is watching tv. His other symptoms include:

• unable to speak at 21 months (only blabbering)
• occasionally walking on toes and spinning in circles
• doesn't respond to his name all the time

However, he is still showing affection to us at times (when he feels like it), he is keen to play with our neighbour's grandchildren and will gesture or take our hand to guide us to an item he wants.

Parents with autistic children / who are familiar with symptoms of autism, are these symptoms red flags? Should I be worried? I'm on the verge of breakdown and I fear that he will not be able to lead a regular life. I'm not ashamed of him and I'm very much willing to take good care of him if he really has autism but I'm afraid this world will not be kind to him and he will always be bullied for his behavior / actions. My husband and in laws think there is nothing wrong with him, they feel that he is just overly excited but my gut feeling is telling me otherwise.

I brought him to a specialist who wants to start him on speech & language and occupational therapy treatments first before assessing my DS for autism. She mentioned that his hand flapping could be caused by his frustration of not being able to express himself in words.

I would like to know how these sessions are conducted and what are the chances of him learning how to speak? How can I help him at home to encourage him to speak / stop his habit of hand flapping?

Thank you in advance for your advice.

 

[adhd.dad]

Hi,

I'll let someone with more experience reply regarding Autism and symptoms. So let this post be a bump for your topic. I would also advise you cut down on his TV time as much as possible. Not more than 2 hours a day MAX.

As for late speech... that's alright as long as he's using hand signals and blabbering since he's not 2 yet. Some kids are slower to pick up speaking properly. But continue to encourage him by repeating the names of items 3x etc. Don't give him something when he points without first encouraging him to speak the item's name. Repeat the name of said item as you hand it to him.Try to encourage him to talk by making every moment an "item naming" opportunity and read lots of books to him. It's alright that he doesn't understand them... show him nice pictures and point out the names of items.

Go to the library and borrow books with cars, trucks, emergency vehicles etc. Kids this age love those. If you have to show him TV, show him Youtube.com. Dave and Ava, Mother Goose Club for example. Songs and nursery rhymes are way better than random TV programs.

If he will interact with other children willingly, I wouldn't be so worried yet. Seek professional opinion for sure. If you can afford it, then, by all means, send him to those OT and Speech sessions. Otherwise, save your money for now and do all those above yourself.

 

[IronMaiden80]

Hi,

I'll let someone with more experience reply regarding Autism and symptoms. So let this post be a bump for your topic. I would also advise you cut down on his TV time as much as possible. Not more than 2 hours a day MAX.

As for late speech... that's alright as long as he's using hand signals and blabbering since he's not 2 yet. Some kids are slower to pick up speaking properly. But continue to encourage him by repeating the names of items 3x etc. Don't give him something when he points without first encouraging him to speak the item's name. Repeat the name of said item as you hand it to him.Try to encourage him to talk by making every moment an "item naming" opportunity and read lots of books to him. It's alright that he doesn't understand them... show him nice pictures and point out the names of items.

Go to the library and borrow books with cars, trucks, emergency vehicles etc. Kids this age love those. If you have to show him TV, show him Youtube.com. Dave and Ava, Mother Goose Club for example. Songs and nursery rhymes are way better than random TV programs.

If he will interact with other children willingly, I wouldn't be so worried yet. Seek professional opinion for sure. If you can afford it, then, by all means, send him to those OT and Speech sessions. Otherwise, save your money for now and do all those above yourself.

Hi adhd.dad,

Thank you so much for your advice! I have been encouraging him to name items and teaching him by repeating them numerous times. I do hope it is just a passing phase and he will outgrow this.

 

[jungle]

I suggest you bring him to a specialist asap.
More exposure to group play or maybe sending him to childcare will help him too.

 

[IronMaiden80]

I suggest you bring him to a specialist asap.
More exposure to group play or maybe sending him to childcare will help him too.

Hi Jungle, yes the specialist suggested the same - to start him in playgroup as soon as possible. We have enrolled him, hopefully this helps

 

[pinkdoll]

Late speech is not a cause for worry as your child is not 3 yet. Some children start to talk later (especially boys) but do talk to him constantly and yes enrolling him in childcare will help. Encourage your mil to talk to him during daytime when you and hubby are at work and avoid tv time as much as possible. One thing I noticed in common among some of my friends and relatives children who learn talking much later (3-4 years old) is that the children are all being cared for by grandparents or maids during the day and they don't really talk to the children. They just let them watch tv or iPad.

If you are still worried you can bring him to polyclinic for an assessment and referral to KKH or other gov hospital. The wait time for gov hospital appt is definitely longer but much cheaper than private specialists. While waiting for the hospital appt, let him go childcare and talk to him more. Who knows maybe he has already learnt to talk before the hospital appt comes. That was what happened to my friend's child.

 

[pinkamoon]

Hi Iron Maiden,

Based on what u have said, it seems like your child has shown many symptoms of autism. Not to scare you, of course. It is in your mummy's gut feel. When I suspected my son of autism, I was in denial and kept giving excuses, delaying the treatment I could give him.
These symptoms you mentioned were typical of my son's behaviour:

1.walking, he is often wandering around the house on his own / watching tv and playing on his own --antisocial
2.He is a late bloomer, crawling and walking later than other children his age -- poor psychomotor skills (check if he can cycle a tricycle or catch a ball. Kids with autism cannot do it)
3. flap his hands quite frequently especially when he is watching tv -- Sensory issues (excited)
4. unable to speak at 21 months (only blabbering) -- Delay in speech, not able to communicate
5. occasionally walking on toes and spinning in circles -- sensory issues which may worsen
6. doesn't respond to his name all the time -- antisocial
7.However, he is still showing affection to us at times (when he feels like it) -- no attachment (when u leave the house, he does not care?)
8.he is keen to play with our neighbour's grandchildren -- insists that everyone follows his way of playing?
9.will gesture or take our hand to guide us to an item he wants -- using gestures and not language is typical of autistic children

Do cut out ipad/ cartoons / TV totally and engage in playtime with him, just like what the others suggest and best of luck!

 

[IronMaiden80]

Hi Iron Maiden,

Based on what u have said, it seems like your child has shown many symptoms of autism. Not to scare you, of course. It is in your mummy's gut feel. When I suspected my son of autism, I was in denial and kept giving excuses, delaying the treatment I could give him.
These symptoms you mentioned were typical of my son's behaviour:

1.walking, he is often wandering around the house on his own / watching tv and playing on his own --antisocial
2.He is a late bloomer, crawling and walking later than other children his age -- poor psychomotor skills (check if he can cycle a tricycle or catch a ball. Kids with autism cannot do it)
3. flap his hands quite frequently especially when he is watching tv -- Sensory issues (excited)
4. unable to speak at 21 months (only blabbering) -- Delay in speech, not able to communicate
5. occasionally walking on toes and spinning in circles -- sensory issues which may worsen
6. doesn't respond to his name all the time -- antisocial
7.However, he is still showing affection to us at times (when he feels like it) -- no attachment (when u leave the house, he does not care?)
8.he is keen to play with our neighbour's grandchildren -- insists that everyone follows his way of playing?
9.will gesture or take our hand to guide us to an item he wants -- using gestures and not language is typical of autistic children

Do cut out ipad/ cartoons / TV totally and engage in playtime with him, just like what the others suggest and best of luck!

Hi pinkamoon,

Thank you for your reply.

Did you bring your boy to the specialist eventually? May I know what the outcome was?

I've been making an effort by not letting him watch tv and keeping him away from electronic gadgets, thankfully my mil is doing likewise after she noticed his odd behavior. I would say there is improvement shown:

1. At times he will bring toys over to me. I recently bought balloons and showed him how it works, he will now bring the balloon to my mouth indicating that he wants me to blow it. He has started to pretend to feed a baby doll at home too but it depends on his mood.

2. Yesterday we bumped into another neighbor with a toddler whom he has not met before, he went close to him and touched him. Whenever he sees other children running and having fun, he will laugh and walk quickly towards them as if he wants to join them.

3. He is blabbering a lot more now though he hasn't spoken.

4. He will cry whenever I leave the house for work and will come to the door smiling when I return but he will quickly switch his attention elsewhere after I carry and acknowledge him.

5. Seems to be responding more to his name though sometimes he will still ignore us.

6. Doesn't spin in circles nor walk on toes anymore (it's the case when I'm with him, I'm unsure if he's doing that at my mil's house during the day). He is still flapping his hands though and he tends to scream at times now.

I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that it is jot autism... he's starting his first session for speech and language therapy next Monday and we are all hoping to see some progress.

 

[IronMaiden80]

Late speech is not a cause for worry as your child is not 3 yet. Some children start to talk later (especially boys) but do talk to him constantly and yes enrolling him in childcare will help. Encourage your mil to talk to him during daytime when you and hubby are at work and avoid tv time as much as possible. One thing I noticed in common among some of my friends and relatives children who learn talking much later (3-4 years old) is that the children are all being cared for by grandparents or maids during the day and they don't really talk to the children. They just let them watch tv or iPad.

If you are still worried you can bring him to polyclinic for an assessment and referral to KKH or other gov hospital. The wait time for gov hospital appt is definitely longer but much cheaper than private specialists. While waiting for the hospital appt, let him go childcare and talk to him more. Who knows maybe he has already learnt to talk before the hospital appt comes. That was what happened to my friend's child.

Hi Pinkdoll,

Thank you for your advice.

We are starting speech and language therapy next Monday for 4 sessions, hopefully we can see some improvement.

 

[Mikoaii]

Hi Iron Maiden,

Based on what u have said, it seems like your child has shown many symptoms of autism. Not to scare you, of course. It is in your mummy's gut feel. When I suspected my son of autism, I was in denial and kept giving excuses, delaying the treatment I could give him.
These symptoms you mentioned were typical of my son's behaviour:

1.walking, he is often wandering around the house on his own / watching tv and playing on his own --antisocial
2.He is a late bloomer, crawling and walking later than other children his age -- poor psychomotor skills (check if he can cycle a tricycle or catch a ball. Kids with autism cannot do it)
3. flap his hands quite frequently especially when he is watching tv -- Sensory issues (excited)
4. unable to speak at 21 months (only blabbering) -- Delay in speech, not able to communicate
5. occasionally walking on toes and spinning in circles -- sensory issues which may worsen
6. doesn't respond to his name all the time -- antisocial
7.However, he is still showing affection to us at times (when he feels like it) -- no attachment (when u leave the house, he does not care?)
8.he is keen to play with our neighbour's grandchildren -- insists that everyone follows his way of playing?
9.will gesture or take our hand to guide us to an item he wants -- using gestures and not language is typical of autistic children

Do cut out ipad/ cartoons / TV totally and engage in playtime with him, just like what the others suggest and best of luck!

I have a 5 year-old kid who's mildly autistic and he was diagnosed at 3 years old. He has been in an early intervention school for almost two years now. I'd like to highlight that not all autistic children will have speech delays, issues catching balls, or riding tricycles. My son is one of them. And so are some of his schoolmates. He's generally good in motor skills and is a great talker, but is unable to express himself and displayed violent behavior at 3.

If you'd like to know more, I can share more. Hope that things will go well for you.

 

[pinkamoon]

Hi IronMaiden ,

Like what mummies here have shared, every child with autism is unique and no two kids are the same. My son had symptoms of classic autism, so he had most of the traits of autism. Those who milder autism like PDD_NOS could generally converse effectively and had little issues. I have seen children who were diagnosed at P5 and P6 by school psychologist because they were the odd one out in schools.

However, my point here is to let mummies understand that autism is not the end. The mummy's gut feeling raises suspicious, but it should not end here. Get confirmation from friends, family members. Very often, those with children of certain age may tell you that your child does not seem as sociable, or behave appropriately. This maybe one way to confirm your doubts. Waiting for the children to outgrow may miss the critical window of opportunity to help them.

If your son is improving, then it is good. Keep observing and all the best to you!

Fighting!

 

[IronMaiden80]

Hi IronMaiden ,

Like what mummies here have shared, every child with autism is unique and no two kids are the same. My son had symptoms of classic autism, so he had most of the traits of autism. Those who milder autism like PDD_NOS could generally converse effectively and had little issues. I have seen children who were diagnosed at P5 and P6 by school psychologist because they were the odd one out in schools.

However, my point here is to let mummies understand that autism is not the end. The mummy's gut feeling raises suspicious, but it should not end here. Get confirmation from friends, family members. Very often, those with children of certain age may tell you that your child does not seem as sociable, or behave appropriately. This maybe one way to confirm your doubts. Waiting for the children to outgrow may miss the critical window of opportunity to help them.

If your son is improving, then it is good. Keep observing and all the best to you!

Fighting!

Hi Pinkamoon,

Thank you so much for your encouragement. I'm really feeling more positive these days as I've come to terms with what's happening. There are good and bad days.

We have started SLT and OT, both therapists agree that there are some red flags here and there but they seem optimistic as he is still very young and hopefully, with proper guidance, he might have a chance to improve.

I hope all is well with you and your boy.

You are right - autism is definitely not the end. My son is still my flesh and blood, he is special with or without autism and if I could choose again, I'll still have him in my life. I'm sure it's the same for everyone here.

Sharon

 

[genuis]

Hi Pinkdoll,

Thank you for your advice.

We are starting speech and language therapy next Monday for 4 sessions, hopefully we can see some improvement.

Hi ironMaiden80,are u speech therapy?can I have ur contact num?thanks

 

[chelsa1980]

I will like to share with you my experience. When my son was 2 years old, he was suspected to be autistic too. He can only call papa and was obsessed with trains. He started crawling and walking later than most kids. In fact, the PD suspected it was global delayed development. In simple terms, slow development in all areas.

I signed him up for private speech therapy. The therapist was quite nice. She kept encouraging him to talk. At the same time, she also helped to allay my fears by ruling out the learning difficulties which my son could have (e.g ADHD). Based on her observations, she also ruled out autism and global delayed development (not sure how she did it though). I paid for 4 sessions to try. Each session cost about $100 and note that was many years back. Price could have increased. Unfortunately, I forfeited my last session as I was pregnant with no 2 and was too sick to bring him there.

During the same time, I enrolled him into childcare. Fortunately, he had very supportive teachers. When his teachers knew that he was going to speech therapy, they insisted that my son tells them what he wants instead of using hand gestures. So in a way, the teachers instilled structures and rules for him. The teacher will say the word and make him repeat it before giving him the item. If he does not say it, he does not get the toys he wants. Also, every teacher in the school enforced the same rules on him. It was tough at the beginning. My son refused to talk and when it was play time, he refused to be with the kids. I was really grateful to his teachers for persevering. Back at home, the same rules apply.

My son is now 10. Looking at his academic and holistic development now, many people will not know that his growth was so slow when he was a toddler. He is still a boy of few words (almost no words for Chinese in fact) and cannot ride a bicycle to save his life but he has many good friends in school. My worry that he may have learning difficulties actually prompted to me to be a more active parent. I limited TV time and stocked up my house with books and started to read to him more frequently. So that helped to cultivate his love for reading. Also, I realised that sometimes having the child stay at home may delay his development. Grandparents will give the kids everything they want without having to ask. As they are unable to engage the kids, they just let them watch TV.

As a parent, I can understand your anxiety. If cost is not an issue to you, then by all means go for private speech therapy as the wait at KKH can be very long. At the same time, you can consider sending him to playgroup where he learns to interact with other children. Hope that all is well!

 

[genuis]

Thank u with share ur experience,can I have ur speech therapy contact num?my child have some similar behavior.thanks

I will like to share with you my experience. When my son was 2 years old, he was suspected to be autistic too. He can only call papa and was obsessed with trains. He started crawling and walking later than most kids. In fact, the PD suspected it was global delayed development. In simple terms, slow development in all areas.

I signed him up for private speech therapy. The therapist was quite nice. She kept encouraging him to talk. At the same time, she also helped to allay my fears by ruling out the learning difficulties which my son could have (e.g ADHD). Based on her observations, she also ruled out autism and global delayed development (not sure how she did it though). I paid for 4 sessions to try. Each session cost about $100 and note that was many years back. Price could have increased. Unfortunately, I forfeited my last session as I was pregnant with no 2 and was too sick to bring him there.

During the same time, I enrolled him into childcare. Fortunately, he had very supportive teachers. When his teachers knew that he was going to speech therapy, they insisted that my son tells them what he wants instead of using hand gestures. So in a way, the teachers instilled structures and rules for him. The teacher will say the word and make him repeat it before giving him the item. If he does not say it, he does not get the toys he wants. Also, every teacher in the school enforced the same rules on him. It was tough at the beginning. My son refused to talk and when it was play time, he refused to be with the kids. I was really grateful to his teachers for persevering. Back at home, the same rules apply.

My son is now 10. Looking at his academic and holistic development now, many people will not know that his growth was so slow when he was a toddler. He is still a boy of few words (almost no words for Chinese in fact) and cannot ride a bicycle to save his life but he has many good friends in school. My worry that he may have learning difficulties actually prompted to me to be a more active parent. I limited TV time and stocked up my house with books and started to read to him more frequently. So that helped to cultivate his love for reading. Also, I realised that sometimes having the child stay at home may delay his development. Grandparents will give the kids everything they want without having to ask. As they are unable to engage the kids, they just let them watch TV.

As a parent, I can understand your anxiety. If cost is not an issue to you, then by all means go for private speech therapy as the wait at KKH can be very long. At the same time, you can consider sending him to playgroup where he learns to interact with other children. Hope that all is well!

 

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University (NTU) is conducting a study that is looking into developing techniques to
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[eugenesella]

Hi, How is your boy now? I hope he is doing well

 

[Autism Star]

Thank u with share ur experience,can I have ur speech therapy contact num?my child have some similar behavior.thanks

Thank u with share ur experience,can I have ur speech therapy contact num?my child have some similar behavior.thanks

Hi,

If you are looking to help your child to regulate his/ her sensory needs and also to improve speech, you can check out my new centre at Punggol. We do provide full day, half day or flexi hours individual and group therapy options.

Ling
94241961
The growing academy (thegrowingacademy.com.sg)

 

[Jiaht]

Hi pinkamoon,

Thank you for your reply.

Did you bring your boy to the specialist eventually? May I know what the outcome was?

I've been making an effort by not letting him watch tv and keeping him away from electronic gadgets, thankfully my mil is doing likewise after she noticed his odd behavior. I would say there is improvement shown:

1. At times he will bring toys over to me. I recently bought balloons and showed him how it works, he will now bring the balloon to my mouth indicating that he wants me to blow it. He has started to pretend to feed a baby doll at home too but it depends on his mood.

2. Yesterday we bumped into another neighbor with a toddler whom he has not met before, he went close to him and touched him. Whenever he sees other children running and having fun, he will laugh and walk quickly towards them as if he wants to join them.

3. He is blabbering a lot more now though he hasn't spoken.

4. He will cry whenever I leave the house for work and will come to the door smiling when I return but he will quickly switch his attention elsewhere after I carry and acknowledge him.

5. Seems to be responding more to his name though sometimes he will still ignore us.

6. Doesn't spin in circles nor walk on toes anymore (it's the case when I'm with him, I'm unsure if he's doing that at my mil's house during the day). He is still flapping his hands though and he tends to scream at times now.

I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that it is jot autism... he's starting his first session for speech and language therapy next Monday and we are all hoping to see some progress.

Hi Ironmaiden80,

Thanks for sharing your concerns and suspicions. Every child is different, whether or not they have autism. Your initial post did highlight a few symptoms which are red flags for autism. Many children on the autism spectrum have them, but having them does not necessarily make a child autistic.

The symptoms you mentioned which are red flags:
-late talking (language)
-leading by hand (language, social) [many autistic children will do this, but they don't make eye contact, simply treating the hand as a tool to get them what they want]
-not responding to name (language, social)
-coming to you only when he feels like it (social emotional reciprocity) [many autistic children may occasionally seek comfort in their parents, but not others. Also, when they do approach, they may be playing with parent's hair or simply wants to be hugged. There's no real social interaction happening]
-hand flapping (sensory)
-spinning in circles (sensory)
-toe walking (sensory)
-wandering around (sensory, not knowing how to play)

However, for a diagnosis of autism, your child also needs to:
-deficits in non verbal communication (eye contact, joint attention etc)
-highly restrictive fixated interests
-insistence on sameness

Here's a good list of diagnostic criteria
https://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/diagnosis/dsm-5-diagnostic-criteria

It's hard to say whether or not your son has autism without actually seeing him, but it is good that you are starting to seek help. Limiting the TV and iPad is also a good move since children need to be around others to learn and develop social skills.

It's very heartening to see that there are already some improvement in his symptoms and I hope continued therapy will bring even more progress.

Some other things you might want to try to improve his social skills:
-play lots of social games with him (For example, you might toss him in the air then put him back on the ground. Then wait and see if he might try to initiate a new round with eye contact, body movements or sounds)
-use people toys (toys which needs an adult in order to operate e.g. wind up toys, bubbles etc)
-Hold things up by your eye and wait for him to catch your eye before handing to him
-Adjust your position when playing with him. Sit on the floor, face to face.
-Make your face really fun and interesting to watch
-Have lots of fun (note this does not mean being lot. Just make yourself more animated).
-Play play play and play some more. Dedicate a minimum of 15mins a day just focused on playing with him. You can intersperse it through out the day, starting with 5min in the morning, 5min in the afternoon, 5min in the evening. If possible, stretch this out to longer sessions gradually. If you don't have time, get your parents and helpers involved. Children who make the most progress with social skill deficits usually have at least 20hour/week of one-on-one interaction.

To help him understand more language:
-Use single words in your interaction with him
-Use visual cues. Show him the object or photo of the object if it is not available
-Make use of routines. Use the same words each time
-Talk in context. If he is playing with a car, talk about the car. Don't talk about something that's not there
-Use the same words to label the same thing. For example, don't call a dog "dog" one time, then "doggie", then "puppy". Stick to "dog"

I hope your son continue to improve day by day! All the best!

Jia
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