Support group - Miscarriages


My bill is 4.3k+ at mt e novena. B4 medisave deduction. Try to seek second opinion. And if not ready. You can wait awhile and be abit emotionally stable first. I waited a week before i did the procedure yest.
Ya suppose to be today i call and postpone too. Waiting kkh to give me another date. Estimate bill was 4k+
 
Oh actually I cooked with seeds cos I felt very cold. Only felt heaty after 2 weeks! Then i stopped. Also took daily chicken essence during the period, like real confinement. I think if you feel heaty then should adjust.

I didnt blow fan but stayed in aircon room at 26 degc. Wore socks and bedroom slippers too.
Felt chilled by the wind when I went out too so maybe I'm the more cold sort.

Haha. I already feel heaty after drinking the tea last night. My throat was so dry in the middle of the night. I didnt wear socks and bedroom slippers leh. Too hot already. I can deal with no fan in the day but at night cannot.
 
Ya suppose to be today i call and postpone too. Waiting kkh to give me another date. Estimate bill was 4k+
If not ready, just postpone. But dont drag too long ok? It wont do our body any good. Kkh also so exp ah?? I thot is becos i do at mt e novena that is why so exp.
 
My bill is 4.3k+ at mt e novena. B4 medisave deduction. Try to seek second opinion. And if not ready. You can wait awhile and be abit emotionally stable first. I waited a week before i did the procedure yest.


Hi babe, how are u? I am still dealing with grieve. Upset, disappointed & hopless.

Went for 2nd scan after mc. Lining not good. Not clear yet. Prescribed antibiotics. Haiz.

Tcm is next sat.
 
Thank you dear, visited my gynae today and did a scan. Confirm nothing in Sac. Arranging for D&c. Sad & scare.

I had the same suitation as u. Scan on 15/4 and 21/4, nothing in sac. I took cyotec on 22/4, mc starts. Its very scary. Today went for scan, lining not good yet. Given Antibotics.

I m grieving and try to pick things up. Really upset and disappointed. Do stay strong, hugs.
 
Hi babe, how are u? I am still dealing with grieve. Upset, disappointed & hopless.

Went for 2nd scan after mc. Lining not good. Not clear yet. Prescribed antibiotics. Haiz.

Tcm is next sat.
Big hugs. I am feeling better as the day passed. Although not a single day passed without thinking of my baby, but i know i am gradually growing stronger. I still cry everyday. It is hard not to think about my poor baby. Grieve is normal babe. Take your time. We will never forget this incident but we cannot let this take over our life.

Not clear yet means there is still leftover tissue ah? Did the gynae say how to get rid of it? You wanna try dr wendy teo? She is my 2nd opinion gynae and i like her alot. Very comforting and assuring. She suggested d&c to me cos she feels that it will be a better form of closure to me. I feel ok today. Very crampy and bleed quite abit after the procedure. Went hm and slp early last night. Not much cramps today and mininal bleeding. Started my confinement tingkat too.
 
Big hugs. I am feeling better as the day passed. Although not a single day passed without thinking of my baby, but i know i am gradually growing stronger. I still cry everyday. It is hard not to think about my poor baby. Grieve is normal babe. Take your time. We will never forget this incident but we cannot let this take over our life.

Not clear yet means there is still leftover tissue ah? Did the gynae say how to get rid of it? You wanna try dr wendy teo? She is my 2nd opinion gynae and i like her alot. Very comforting and assuring. She suggested d&c to me cos she feels that it will be a better form of closure to me. I feel ok today. Very crampy and bleed quite abit after the procedure. Went hm and slp early last night. Not much cramps today and mininal bleeding. Started my confinement tingkat too.

Yes. There's still leftover tissue from the pregancy and thick lining so doc prescribe antibotics. next scan will be 4 weeks to check if the lining is better.

Ok. Thanks, i m looking to change another gynae whom i will feel more comfortable with.

I m glad u are doing ok. Do rest well and take good care.
 
If not ready, just postpone. But dont drag too long ok? It wont do our body any good. Kkh also so exp ah?? I thot is becos i do at mt e novena that is why so exp.

Yup book tue. My doc agreed to scan 1 more times b4 ops since i requested. Tmr going another gync for 2nd opinion thou. Thou i know chances are slim. My mum just wanna make sure really miscarriage b4 abort. Cause only 6 week +. I call double confirm private patient is 4k plus at kkh.
 
Big hugs. I am feeling better as the day passed. Although not a single day passed without thinking of my baby, but i know i am gradually growing stronger. I still cry everyday. It is hard not to think about my poor baby. Grieve is normal babe. Take your time. We will never forget this incident but we cannot let this take over our life.

Not clear yet means there is still leftover tissue ah? Did the gynae say how to get rid of it? You wanna try dr wendy teo? She is my 2nd opinion gynae and i like her alot. Very comforting and assuring. She suggested d&c to me cos she feels that it will be a better form of closure to me. I feel ok today. Very crampy and bleed quite abit after the procedure. Went hm and slp early last night. Not much cramps today and mininal bleeding. Started my confinement tingkat too.

You taking 2 weeks tingkat? Food nice? Which company tingkat you taking?
 
You taking 2 weeks tingkat? Food nice? Which company tingkat you taking?
I ordered from natal essentials. Started from today. Today's lunch is not bad nt sure about dinner though. They also give longan red date tea. Which is enuf for me cos i also got drink water. Scared too heaty.
 
Yup book tue. My doc agreed to scan 1 more times b4 ops since i requested. Tmr going another gync for 2nd opinion thou. Thou i know chances are slim. My mum just wanna make sure really miscarriage b4 abort. Cause only 6 week +. I call double confirm private patient is 4k plus at kkh.

Yup. Good to seek 2nd opinion and do final scan before doing the procedure. I seeked second opinion. But i didnt do a final scan. Cos my symptons have disappeared. That is one sign. And on the day i go for my d&c. I started to have brown discharge. Also another sign. And my gynae also pointed out 3 things that points to an unhealthy pregnancy. So i know there is no chance for me already.

If you are just 6 weeks. I think can still wait out. Hb can be detected at later weeks.
 
Actually mt e novena is not the mst ex...i checked mt alvernia is slight mre ex though
Woah. Really ah. I thot cos my gynae fees is exp plus do at mt e novena then also exp. Sigh. We all pay so much. Get nth but sadness. Insurance cannot claim. Really gek sim.
 
Yes. There's still leftover tissue from the pregancy and thick lining so doc prescribe antibotics. next scan will be 4 weeks to check if the lining is better.

Ok. Thanks, i m looking to change another gynae whom i will feel more comfortable with.

I m glad u are doing ok. Do rest well and take good care.
Thanks. You can try dr wendy if you want to change gynae. I like her alot.
 
Woah. Really ah. I thot cos my gynae fees is exp plus do at mt e novena then also exp. Sigh. We all pay so much. Get nth but sadness. Insurance cannot claim. Really gek sim.

Ya...anything related to pregnant stuffs all cannot claim insurance, if can claim I not even bother to check price. Gek sim
 
Yup book tue. My doc agreed to scan 1 more times b4 ops since i requested. Tmr going another gync for 2nd opinion thou. Thou i know chances are slim. My mum just wanna make sure really miscarriage b4 abort. Cause only 6 week +. I call double confirm private patient is 4k plus at kkh.
Hi Daledale
I think 6 weeks is too early to confirm its not viable, unless you have started bleeding.
Suggest to wait a bit more.
 
I had the same suitation as u. Scan on 15/4 and 21/4, nothing in sac. I took cyotec on 22/4, mc starts. Its very scary. Today went for scan, lining not good yet. Given Antibotics.

I m grieving and try to pick things up. Really upset and disappointed. Do stay strong, hugs.
Hugs. We need to see open. And stay positive. Cried first day and accept the fact and move on. Of cos i missed my baby but we need to let go and try again. Good luck babes.
 
Hi Daledale
I think 6 weeks is too early to confirm its not viable, unless you have started bleeding.
Suggest to wait a bit more.

Had spotting and bleeding days before. Was suppose to be wk 8 but baby only wk 6++. doc say baby stopped growing at the last scan when i bleed and went o&g. Doctor say will scan 1 more time for me tue b4 ops. I'm glad had a supportive hubby thou he not very gd with words. Jiayou ladies.

Ztp having sales for those herbal packs till end apr. Bought a lot bazheng and some shi quan da bu tang for my mini confinement
 
Hi Lovepuff
My gynae is Dr Tham Kok Fun at gleneagles. Very nice doc, but he's not a high risk pg doc. So I am unlikely to go back to him if I'm pg unless its a stable one.

Some of us here are with high risk Drs due to recurrent Mc. I had 4 Mc before having my gal. I'm with nuh high risk team and have selected dr Anita as my Gynae. Many here are seeing prof mahesh. I got to know abt nuh from this thread 3/4 years ago. And it really guided me to the right place. So I'm very thankful for all the ladies here.
 
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I am getting better physically. But still feeling very emo mentally. I have been hiding at home and refused to go out and meet friends or family. Sometimes when i am occupied with watching my drama, i feel guilty. Like how can i feel happy watching my drama when my baby has gone to heaven? When will all these feelings go away?
 
I am getting better physically. But still feeling very emo mentally. I have been hiding at home and refused to go out and meet friends or family. Sometimes when i am occupied with watching my drama, i feel guilty. Like how can i feel happy watching my drama when my baby has gone to heaven? When will all these feelings go away?


I feel the same too and it has been about 2-3 weeks since. But i still the crying has become less unless suddenly triggered by sth. I still wake up in middle of the night sometimes and cannot go back to bed. I also don't feel like meeting any friends or wider family. In fact I don't really feel like talking about anything else to anyone and when i talk to my hubby it is always about when we shld try again and what we should try and do now... i also wonder how long it would take to be happier and if it is the hormones?
 
Yeah. The last thing i think of before going to sleep is my baby. My baby is also the first thing i think of when i wake up. I feel very tong ku. Why i cannot bring my baby to this world. I also have alot of hatred. Like why god want to give me sth, make me happy, give me hopes but shattered all my dreams and hopes. I feel upset when i see pregnant lady also. Pregnant friends still ok. But pregnant family members hurt me alot. It is a painful reminder of my loss.
 
Yeah. The last thing i think of before going to sleep is my baby. My baby is also the first thing i think of when i wake up. I feel very tong ku. Why i cannot bring my baby to this world. I also have alot of hatred. Like why god want to give me sth, make me happy, give me hopes but shattered all my dreams and hopes. I feel upset when i see pregnant lady also. Pregnant friends still ok. But pregnant family members hurt me alot. It is a painful reminder of my loss.

Actually, my sis and my best friend are preggie and giving birth in a few weeks. I have no choice - cannot hate them but I have not been giving as much advice or help as I would have if i were still pregnant. But yes i have a lot of bitterness in me like why me. And i don't feel like being kind or nice to people. Like time passes in a daze for me half the time. I am returning to work next Tues and don't think i can concentrate or give my 100%. I don't know if my bosses are expecting me to really be like normal when i return... but i have taken a long break 3 weeks..
 
My d&c is next Tuesday and I m outside now, staying at home makes me think of the period when I just found out that I m pregnant. Move on...no point thinking about the baby as although we might about to save the baby, baby might born unhealthy or abnormal then both bb n us will be suffering...think positive..especially those who are below 40. Make sure to tiao your body n i m sure you gals will able to get pregnant again within months. Most important..stay positive.
 
My sil is pregnant also. And if this didnt happen our babies will be borned few mths apart. I know i shouldnt but there is hatred in me. They didnt even try. It is shotgun. Why god bless them with a smooth pregnancy and not me? I cant help but think this way. I have been out of office for a week. And on another 2 weeks HL since my d&c on thurs. I thinking of extending my HL if i am still like this after 2 weeks. If you are still not ready, can ask your gynae to extend your HL?
 
My ops on tue. So these few days just enjoy myself before the mini confinement starts.
Had crab n pizza past 2 night. Camping at home watching drama too. Shinningstars you not alone.
Lets not think too much. Need to let go of it...
Haven't been to inlaw place thou, my hubby just told them the news last weeks then few days later told them the bad news again. Guess they are upset too, didn't have courage to face them yet.
Sil had a miscarriage before brought me see shifu prayers for baby last night. Like a closure to me.
Anyway we need to accept the fact and get over it. Jia you ladies.
 
Yes jiayou to all. I think it helps to share how we feel cos I think no one else really understands. Like even when i try to talk to my husband, he just asks me to get on... but it is not so eaSy...

I do have good moments too and believe we will have more of ups than downs as time goes by. I think i have accepted that bb is gone but like what shiningstars say, i am bitter still about a lot of things. I m also worried if it is sth about my health that caused it and it feels like if i had been more healthy, the bb might b fine..

I feel like extending but am also afraid the longer i extend the harder it is to go back to work. I decided that i will go back n see how it goes, if the situation really does not improve and my physical health is also not improving, I might then ask for no pay leave or part time but dunno how bosses will think...
 
Yeah i am also at the acceptance stage already. I know my baby is gone and i cant change anything. But there is alot of guilt and hatred in me. I blamed myself for what happened. I kept thinking i didnt do enough to protect the life in me. I kept thinking my baby leave me cos he /she think i dont want him/her. I feel bitter too. Like why me. All my friends around me doesnt seem to have any problem getting pregnant and have a smooth pregnancy. Why do i have to go thru this? I must have been a very bad person so god wants to punish me right. I just cant stop these thoughts from running through my head...
 
Jiayou, ladies. Sometimes we just have to put ourselves first, so allow yourself to feel angry, sad.. or indulge in dramas or gifts. Talk to hub, friends who been there, or just us in the forum!

My 1st mc was w 2 days before mothers day. I also had a blissfully pg sil and bro who pretended nothing happened. They didn't even want to step to my house and waited downstairs when my parents visited, as if I would jinx them. They quietly celebrated mothers day without us when my heart was so broken. During my confinement, they disappeared from the face of earth. Needless to say, things were never the same again and they also pretended all was well and happy during my 2nd loss. Not even a simple message or visit.

But I also had a couple of close friends who cried when they knew, encouraged me and listened to my rants etc. They really helped a alot. Of course, there are also friends who say try again like its no big deal, cos they never had trouble falling and staying pg. But looking back, I think at least they cared to respond instead of avoiding me totally. Still I was depressed and sad as I struggled to get pg again. I counted every month anniversary and asked God why he took her from me.

For the 2nd mc, my hubby cried after he got the news from the doc on the falling hcg. At that moment, I felt united in our grief and the healing really started. Even if they look outwardly normal, they are hurting as they need to be strong for us. We need to find the strength in our loved ones and know that we are all in it together.

For now with the emotional pain being so raw, give yourself time. You deserve to do whatever it takes to feel better. And it will.
 
Some of us here are with high risk Drs due to recurrent Mc. I had 4 Mc before having my gal. I'm with nuh high risk team and have selected dr Anita as my Gynae. Many here are seeing prof mahesh. I got to know abt nuh from this thread 3/4 years ago. And it really guided me to the right place. So I'm very thankful for all the ladies here.
Hopeful mum,
Did you go to the recurrent clinic subsidized?
I went to prof private as I want to know asap. But now that there are issues, I prefer to go with nuh vs mt E due to the cost.
Do you know if I can just walk in to the recurrent clinic if im pg again w all my medical tests already done?
 
Jiayou, ladies. Sometimes we just have to put ourselves first, so allow yourself to feel angry, sad.. or indulge in dramas or gifts. Talk to hub, friends who been there, or just us in the forum!

My 1st mc was w 2 days before mothers day. I also had a blissfully pg sil and bro who pretended nothing happened. They didn't even want to step to my house and waited downstairs when my parents visited, as if I would jinx them. They quietly celebrated mothers day without us when my heart was so broken. During my confinement, they disappeared from the face of earth. Needless to say, things were never the same again and they also pretended all was well and happy during my 2nd loss. Not even a simple message or visit.

But I also had a couple of close friends who cried when they knew, encouraged me and listened to my rants etc. They really helped a alot. Of course, there are also friends who say try again like its no big deal, cos they never had trouble falling and staying pg. But looking back, I think at least they cared to respond instead of avoiding me totally. Still I was depressed and sad as I struggled to get pg again. I counted every month anniversary and asked God why he took her from me.

For the 2nd mc, my hubby cried after he got the news from the doc on the falling hcg. At that moment, I felt united in our grief and the healing really started. Even if they look outwardly normal, they are hurting as they need to be strong for us. We need to find the strength in our loved ones and know that we are all in it together.

For now with the emotional pain being so raw, give yourself time. You deserve to do whatever it takes to feel better. And it will.

Hugs. I just burst out crying just now and i think my hubbs had enough of me not being able to move on. Which makes me even more annoyed.

I totally feel you about your family. My in laws also seemed to have disappear from the surface of the earth. No message. No visit. Nothing. Probably happily preparing the wedding of my bil. Which is in 2 weeks' time. Probably expecting me to turn up and think that things will be like before. Fat hope.

I thought i was getting better. But i was wrong. I guessed i never did. The heartbreak is still here. I am crying as i type this message. I duno how long i can get over this. I hate god. I hate my life. I just want my baby back in my arms.
 
Dont blame ourselves. It wasnt our fault to begin with. Take it easy ladies. Stay positive and we need to let go the unhappiness.
 
Dont blame ourselves. It wasnt our fault to begin with. Take it easy ladies. Stay positive and we need to let go the unhappiness.

Actually there r times when i would like to believe the gynae that it is not our fault... but tcm seems to think it's our body not good enough.

Yes, think we got to try and think of the positive things: that ultimately what is most important is the love bet our husbands and ourselves; that we are alive,

And perhaps to look ahead and try again..
 
Jiayou, ladies. Sometimes we just have to put ourselves first, so allow yourself to feel angry, sad.. or indulge in dramas or gifts. Talk to hub, friends who been there, or just us in the forum!

My 1st mc was w 2 days before mothers day. I also had a blissfully pg sil and bro who pretended nothing happened. They didn't even want to step to my house and waited downstairs when my parents visited, as if I would jinx them. They quietly celebrated mothers day without us when my heart was so broken. During my confinement, they disappeared from the face of earth. Needless to say, things were never the same again and they also pretended all was well and happy during my 2nd loss. Not even a simple message or visit.

But I also had a couple of close friends who cried when they knew, encouraged me and listened to my rants etc. They really helped a alot. Of course, there are also friends who say try again like its no big deal, cos they never had trouble falling and staying pg. But looking back, I think at least they cared to respond instead of avoiding me totally. Still I was depressed and sad as I struggled to get pg again. I counted every month anniversary and asked God why he took her from me.

For the 2nd mc, my hubby cried after he got the news from the doc on the falling hcg. At that moment, I felt united in our grief and the healing really started. Even if they look outwardly normal, they are hurting as they need to be strong for us. We need to find the strength in our loved ones and know that we are all in it together.

For now with the emotional pain being so raw, give yourself time. You deserve to do whatever it takes to feel better. And it will.
To be honest I rather they don't come visit me just like aft my procedure my sis came to my house w her #1 and she pg with #2 u know that feeling is even more painful and some more need to entertain 1st b4 can go in room to rest of the day and will cry even more. Sometimes I would like just leave me alone I will be alright than ppl don't understand talk so much for what more hurting. Just like my sis is telling me no rush go c tcm n procedure her col told her is nth just go in sleep and go back 1 hour later close case. Her pregnancy smooth smooth how she understand by just listening to her col? And is her col don't care her beanie at all? Says till go easy saying her gynae at tmc all procedure only 1hr+ go in sleep n can go home already.
 
Hopeful mum,
Did you go to the recurrent clinic subsidized?
I went to prof private as I want to know asap. But now that there are issues, I prefer to go with nuh vs mt E due to the cost.
Do you know if I can just walk in to the recurrent clinic if im pg again w all my medical tests already done?

Yes so much cheaper. Only change to Pte on the day of delivery if u want air con. U need to go to Polyclinic and get a referral letter. Then they will set up appt for u with nuh. Do take note the wait is very long. But as a sub high risk patient we usually see the same 2-3 Drs every time. Like paying sub rate but treated like a Pte patient.

However do note that if u are a sub patient in nuh, prof mahesh cannot see u outside as a Pte patient. Think there's conflict of interest. Also as a sub patient u must be very patient the wait per visit is very long and only visits are done on weekdays no night or weekend visits.

Cost wise if u need jabs or meds u save more than 50-70%.

After my daughter I had 2 more mcs. The cost are significantly higher already. With jabs and all that I really did wish I had went back to the subsidised route. Ultimately I still see the same Gynae and get the same care just longer wait.
 
Some dishes i took down from confinenent tingkat menu. Some i just ask my mum cook / hubby buy from outside bah.

黑木耳 is the number one ingredient for confinement mothers. Rich in iron, its main function is to drive out stale blood from the body

莲藕排骨汤
麻油鸡
猪脚醋/排骨醋
当归黑枣鸡汤
菠菜/芥兰/Broccoli
八珍补血补气排骨汤
花旗参红罗卜黑鸡汤
肉碎蒸滑蛋
猪肝
杜仲补腰排骨汤
当归黑枣鸡汤
鸡酒
栗子焖鸡腿
北芪党参黑鸡汤
生鱼片炒荷兰豆
健脾补肾黑豆排骨汤
姜葱猪腰瘦肉
 
To be honest I rather they don't come visit me just like aft my procedure my sis came to my house w her #1 and she pg with #2 u know that feeling is even more painful and some more need to entertain 1st b4 can go in room to rest of the day and will cry even more. Sometimes I would like just leave me alone I will be alright than ppl don't understand talk so much for what more hurting. Just like my sis is telling me no rush go c tcm n procedure her col told her is nth just go in sleep and go back 1 hour later close case. Her pregnancy smooth smooth how she understand by just listening to her col? And is her col don't care her beanie at all? Says till go easy saying her gynae at tmc all procedure only 1hr+ go in sleep n can go home already.

Agree too think most pple who have not experienced it will not understand. So i also rather pple do not ask me abt it or how i am and just talk abt different stuff entirely. Cos whatever they say I will not accept. In fact if i did not go through this, I might also just be one of those insensitive pple. I myself was shocked at how intense the grief was
 
My sis is in Australia now and I'm thinking of buying some supplements there... can any of u recommend what brand to buy for royal jelly and dha? Thank you so much... for our ttc
 
My sis is in Australia now and I'm thinking of buying some supplements there... can any of u recommend what brand to buy for royal jelly and dha? Thank you so much... for our ttc
My colleague say dha for 2nd trimester onwards... i order my royal jelly n supplement from iherb..quite cheap.
 
Blackmore conceivewell? Now guardian got promo

Anyone tried red raspberry leaf tea? According to western websites, good for uterine health but not advise to use once pregnant...
 
Blackmore conceivewell? Now guardian got promo

Anyone tried red raspberry leaf tea? According to western websites, good for uterine health but not advise to use once pregnant...

Even royal jelly need to stop once preg. Most supplement need to stop for 1st trimester.
 
What supplements is good for conceiving?

Btw can we take chicken essence with cordyceps?

My mum cooked chicken essence with cordyceps for my entire pregnancy. I supposed it's okay. She will cook one whole chicken and steam the "juice" or essence out of it. I heard it's good for helping with a strong heartbeat. I drink once a week or every 2 weeks. Cox cordyceps very ex and also worried too heaty. But first tri I drank weekly. Last tri I think cut down already. Can't recall been a few years back.
 
My mum cooked chicken essence with cordyceps for my entire pregnancy. I supposed it's okay. She will cook one whole chicken and steam the "juice" or essence out of it. I heard it's good for helping with a strong heartbeat. I drink once a week or every 2 weeks. Cox cordyceps very ex and also worried too heaty. But first tri I drank weekly. Last tri I think cut down already. Can't recall been a few years back.
Oops sorry. I meant can drink now after mc? My friend gave me one box. But i am not sure if it is ok for me to drink it?
 



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