Support group for wives with unfaithful husbands


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Pls write in for yr view. My ex told the judge he is very sick n cannot find job. But all the while, he had side income n went traveling with his mistress, n refuse to give Maint for my 3 children.

These is a loop hole for husband trying to escape Maint .

Of course, I know there are real cases but it is easy to get medical report fr specialist if they willing to spend the money n fake a illness.
 
I saw that the last post was on Oct 2015... Is there a support group anywhere?

This is the third time I found my husband breaking our promises... I find that I am in a very different position. I did not even cry... I think I need help.
 
Ladies (myself inclusive), take a step back and ponder... suppose....

suppose we are such a wife to our hubby:-

1) We take care of household chores
2) We give our children good upbringing
3) We maintain our wardrobe according to our hubby's fancies (eg. what colored bras, what type of short skirts, etc etc)
4) We give in to his every sexual fantasy (swallow cum, piss play, whatever crap)
5) We dun take a single cent from him
6) We dun nag at him
7) .... you get the gist of it

Suppose we can do all that, do you think the bloody guy will fool around outside?

Come on... in life, we are all guilty of "imperfections".
We under declare our income
We over claim our tax reliefs
We 'geng' MC
We take super long leave during peak periods / school holidays
We 'siam' our in-laws
We gossip
We cursed and sweared the lady who did not throw her pad properly.
We 'hiam' our hubby for cumming to soon
everything...

and then we breakdown when our hubby cheats.....
seriously?

what i am implying is, we are imperfect, so are our hubby....

come on, gals, for example, suppose we give in to his EVERY sexually fantasy... do you seriously think he will still fool around outside?
he cant wait to get home everyday, put the kids to bed and then obtain action from us, i tell you.. wanna bet?

say for example, today I WhatsApp my hubby, with a photo of my innocent-looking face:- "dear ah, lets try your fantasy of pissing on me tonight, k?"
he will cant wait to rush home.... SYT? ONS? he will cancel all "ECAs"....

yeah... i know where you are coming from...
but well, we cant have our cake and also eat it, right?

either we become a sex-object or we risk losing to those SYTs...
no boobs can defy gravity once they breastfeed... its how we make them look sexy and perky again that counts...

after all, objectively speaking, theres no ugly woman. only lazy woman....

for example, while missionary style, instead of just lying there, we can push our boobs together...
another example, say we enter the bathroom while hubby is peeing... instead of backing off, we can volunteer to hold his dick while he pees.. just wash off afterwards lah, no biggie deal, right?

we must not stop trying... that is my message...

cant resist temptation, you say?

then we be THE temptation!

how about gargle his cum in our mouths? that will be tempting enough for him to wanna us try again and again and again...
too yucky you say?
fine.
go braless and go downstairs buy grocery together. that will be exciting for him...

not brave enough to try that, i hear?

okay....

while eating potato chips, get him to cum inside the bag of chips!
pretend to eat the "cum-soaked chips". actually, try ur best to avoid taking up a piece of cum-soaked chip...
harmless, right? yet exciting

cant resist temptation, you say?

then we be THE temptation!

how about gargle his cum in our mouths? that will be tempting enough for him to wanna us try again and again and again...
too yucky you say?
fine.
go braless and go downstairs buy grocery together. that will be exciting for him...

not brave enough to try that, i hear?

okay....

while eating potato chips, get him to cum inside the bag of chips!
pretend to eat the "cum-soaked chips". actually, try ur best to avoid taking up a piece of cum-soaked chip...
harmless, right? yet exciting

its a dilemna...

are we a perfect citizen? no.. we overclaim tax reliefs, under declare income, when our hubby needs to go for reservist, we nag or tell him to 'geng' dun go...
are we a perfect worker? no.. we 'geng' MC, we 'chop' annual leave on school holidays, we constantly keep a lookout for better jobs elsewhere...we take more than 1 hour lunches...
are we a perfect DIL? no.. we 'siam' the in-laws, we gossip, we emo towards them, we nag when going to the in-laws place
are we a perfect child to our parents? no.. we side with our hubby, we love our children more than we love our parents...
are we a perfect wife? no... we take hubby for granted....

and then we act all virgin and innocent and demand true love, demand perfect love....
come on ladies...give life a break. theres a reason for eveything in this world... we all know why we cut corners for all/some of the examples I listed above... similarly, hubby will also have his reason for fooling around outside... self-reflect
enough said....

all in all, its all in the mind... dun expect too much, the higher our expectations, the harder it will be for our hubby to meet...
i mean, come on, do we want our hubby to expect us to have perky boobs and HSD when we at our 40s? do we want our hubby to expect us to swallow every drop of his oh-so-precious-and-yummy semen every single time?

Dear Greent3a90,

I would say, do you still need this man? For anything... monetary, sexually, emotionally, anything... majority wins...
if you simply dun need this man... point him the EXIT

If you are charming/capable enough to find a better (step)father for the kids, go ahead... dun let this bastard stop you... remember... we dun get younger every day, yah...
our boobs sag, no matter how big (or small); our V loosens, no matter what was our method of delivery.. our thighs thickens, etc etc... so, if a new man says he likes you... we need salt here...

HOWEVER, if you dun have confidence in your charm/career/capability, then please stick with him and make him pay, literally...
make him your sex slave, get as much $$ from him as possible, delegate household chores to him.. embarress him in front of his frens/family, anything and everything, just make him pay...

Once we are at such a stage in life, we should stop expecting true love and fairy tales endings... be practical... make the correct decision for your life and for your kids..

they need a father? fine, stick with the bastard.
you need monetary support? fine, stick with the bastard.
you need a cock and tongue ? fine, stick with the bastard.
you need in-laws to care for kids while you go holiday? fine, stick with the bastard.
you need someone to hug? just hug your kids..
you need to release your sexual tensions? just push his head down and keep it there...
you need $$ to buy a new Praaaada wallet? f**k, just take his card and swipe..
you need someone to talk to? shit, just come to this forum...
You need someone to accompany you to go PTC? just go alone and take the chance to bio other handsome fathers!

you getting my drift?

Dear shearer,

In my opinion, your messages are very disturbing. I do agree that before we blame everything on our husbands, we should also reflect on ourselves too. However, failing to be an ideal sex object to husbands does not mean husband has valid reason to cheat on wives.

FYI, I am attractive and sexually adventurous. Despite our exciting sex life (daily), my husband is still tempted to look for more escapades when opportunity arises. All the terms you used on sex tricks (except 'piss play), I do it all and much more. Yet, it will never seem to reach a limit, there's always another chase. I am prettier, sexier, and more willing than all the other women he tried. But we are all imperfect, humans tends to get complacent and craves for more even when supposedly his/her previously set goals has been met already.


Having a (understandably) reason to kill doesn't mean murder did not take place. Manslaughter is also a crime.

Just because a husband feel he has to fulfill something that was lack of in his marriage does not mean he has the right to break marriage vows.



I am very concern if women will believe in your advises on how to look at marriages. It seemed so emotionless and cold, best viewed as business transaction. In family life, there is not straight FAQ to resolve issues.

I sincerely hope that women who are reading this, please do not subject yourselves to self-blame for your husbands infidelity. Even IF you may be the reason which START the lead to husband cheating... but ultimately, husbands have the right to choose which action(s) to take... no one can force a cow to drink from the river if the cow doesn't want to.

We always can choose. No excuse... Infidelity is not being raped by other women. Even if that (rape) is the case, since the man 'cannot overpower' the woman... I salute that man for allowing a gorilla to rape him.
 
Seriously Shearer ... you have major issues to even encourage " go n take a chance to bio other handaome fathers" and the rest of your comment is totally appauling sadistic. The core family values you have eroded that marriage is all about holding dick n pussy! Embrassing our infidel hubby is not a mature n gracious thing..it clearly shows the level n depth of one... hope you spare some thought b4 throwing immature comments here...all are suffering or sad or fighting to.maintain their marriage n kids n needed support.

Please spare a thought for them even you dont care or give a damn
 
Been almost a year since I sign the separation.. things seem to change for the better for me, I'm getting happier and more independent by days.. seriously I was so miserable when I found out abt the betrayal, when he told me.he doesn't loves me anymore is like the whole world is collapsing I can't imagine how I'm gonna be with myself and the 3 kids at this age. Well things weren't that bad, I start to see supportive bosses and colleagues, my loving parents especially my dad who called daily to check on me, my friends who made time for me..his family who decided to abandon him and support me all the way.. Guess I'm the lucky one that have many supports around me..my self esteem built up too when I start to love myself more, guess without all the scolding daily I'm getting happier and prettier too. I think what we need here is really lotsa support..
 
Hi Split

Sorry to hear your plight. I have been through the whole cycle. Not poring wer blanket but Separartion deed is a worthless piece of paper that holds no substance in court. Hope your hubby come back n your marriage restore. If u know where it goes from here, feel free to pm me
 
I've tried everything to save the marriage before and yet he still choose to go and beg me to stop trying.. I guess I will not take him back and restore this marriage now
 
I've tried everything to save the marriage before and yet he still choose to go and beg me to stop trying.. I guess I will not take him back and restore this marriage now
Hi, choose your path and use the best method to do it.
If u want to salvage your marriage, look for all ways, counselling, friend m relatives help, more communication.
If u going for divorce, get the best evidence u need then get a lawyer, don't simply go around n listen to people who are not train legally, look for professional to end this ASAP. No two case is the same.
 
I made appointment to go counseling - alone. My husband finds that it is pointless for me to go. In the end I didn't go for it... I postponed it till further notice.

I have my daily tasks required of me as a mom. I also have to help with the business. I don't have time to 'be myself' (as in emotionally). It is more convenient to not address issues and just behave like there are no issues - Everything is Fine, all is well.
 
I made appointment to go counseling - alone. My husband finds that it is pointless for me to go. In the end I didn't go for it... I postponed it till further notice.

I have my daily tasks required of me as a mom. I also have to help with the business. I don't have time to 'be myself' (as in emotionally). It is more convenient to not address issues and just behave like there are no issues - Everything is Fine, all is well.
I understand how u feel...I went for counselling alone too is really quite useless since the other party is not keen to participate. Try to loves urself more, make time for urself.
 
Hi, choose your path and use the best method to do it.
If u want to salvage your marriage, look for all ways, counselling, friend m relatives help, more communication.
If u going for divorce, get the best evidence u need then get a lawyer, don't simply go around n listen to people who are not train legally, look for professional to end this ASAP. No two case is the same.
I've already signed the separation deed last yr, witnessed by my lawyer etc..I have tried to salvage initially but since my ex insist there's no more love in him really no point even if I had been too counselling and got all his relatives help..it takes 2 hands to clap.
 
oops...may be your lawyer never mention... for your info...woman charter chapt 353 defines it all.
Furthermore, do you know whatever you signed on that piece of paper (pay 3-5k) will change when it come to Divorce. The terms are allow to change from housing to child care/control. Did your lawyer mention ? well may he just want to close you or whatever. But it's sure easy $$$
 
oops...may be your lawyer never mention... for your info...woman charter chapt 353 defines it all.
Furthermore, do you know whatever you signed on that piece of paper (pay 3-5k) will change when it come to Divorce. The terms are allow to change from housing to child care/control. Did your lawyer mention ? well may he just want to close you or whatever. But it's sure easy $$$
Ya she told me abt there might be dispute when comes to divorce.
 
Hi all,

If I found out my hubby visited and flirt with pros in Feb 2016 (am having my maternity leave then after giving birth to my second child), after a whirlwind 6 to 8 months of digging And confrontation and finding evidence to Prove that he lied to me about the timeline and extent he cheated when I exposed him initially, he finally admitted that he is a Sex addict. It started with him being a porn addict before I met him and it escalated to sex addict after he chose ponography as a form of escape from work stress and family commitment (we are married with two kids). The constant surfing at sammyboy forum changed his mindset about infidelity and diseases and he had his first dirty massage at a Phuket team building trip after which he continued and escalated his activities to visiting prostitutes in spore. Although both of us think that it's all his fault for deciding to cheat, I can't deny that he is indeed sexually frustrated Too because I rejected him and is always not interested in sex during our marriage.

Since exposure, some things have been put in place to earn back my trust:

1) his pay credited to my account and he only has 10 dollar a day to eat
2) I can demand photos from him anytime
3) he gives me a miss call using office phone when he reach office and before he leaves
4) video cam installed in car and I can request to view as and when I like
5) I can check his phone and pc anytime
6) he has no more OT and I can request for his leaves quotas anytime I like
7) I have his colleagues number and I m free to check whether he is in office anytime I like if i m not able to contact him through phone
8) he has apologised to me and admit it is his fault solely and claim that he will not repeat again. Almost a year now and no signs that he repeats because I use Google timeline to check his whereabouts (though not 100 percent accurate) And Google activity to track the websites he visited (although he can still delete the history if he wants to)

Things he agreed but I have not carry out actions yet due to money issues:

1) go to lawyer and get a post nuptial agreement
2) yearly checkup report (after I discover his betrayal, he went for checkup once and gotten urea plasma which he took antibiotics for treatment), I told him that I may want him to go checkup yearly just to show he is healthy.
3) may ask for lie detector test yearly if I feel like it

May I ask, do your think that given my circumstances, I should give him a second chance? I m still struggling with his betrayal And I know I m still not healed yet, it's almost a year now. He didn't show any weird signs but I find it tough to totally trust again despite his efforts.

By the way, apart from the betrayal, he is all good. No smoke no cigarette, no verbal or physical abuse, talks to me nicely And active in parenting. Respect my parents and helps me in household chores etc. He is also the main breadwinner. After the discovery of betrayal, he is still doing all these plus those extra efforts to gain back my trust. Should I give him a chance?
 
Hi all,

If I found out my hubby visited and flirt with pros in Feb 2016 (am having my maternity leave then after giving birth to my second child), after a whirlwind 6 to 8 months of digging And confrontation and finding evidence to Prove that he lied to me about the timeline and extent he cheated when I exposed him initially, he finally admitted that he is a Sex addict. It started with him being a porn addict before I met him and it escalated to sex addict after he chose ponography as a form of escape from work stress and family commitment (we are married with two kids). The constant surfing at sammyboy forum changed his mindset about infidelity and diseases and he had his first dirty massage at a Phuket team building trip after which he continued and escalated his activities to visiting prostitutes in spore. Although both of us think that it's all his fault for deciding to cheat, I can't deny that he is indeed sexually frustrated Too because I rejected him and is always not interested in sex during our marriage.

Since exposure, some things have been put in place to earn back my trust:

1) his pay credited to my account and he only has 10 dollar a day to eat
2) I can demand photos from him anytime
3) he gives me a miss call using office phone when he reach office and before he leaves
4) video cam installed in car and I can request to view as and when I like
5) I can check his phone and pc anytime
6) he has no more OT and I can request for his leaves quotas anytime I like
7) I have his colleagues number and I m free to check whether he is in office anytime I like if i m not able to contact him through phone
8) he has apologised to me and admit it is his fault solely and claim that he will not repeat again. Almost a year now and no signs that he repeats because I use Google timeline to check his whereabouts (though not 100 percent accurate) And Google activity to track the websites he visited (although he can still delete the history if he wants to)

Things he agreed but I have not carry out actions yet due to money issues:

1) go to lawyer and get a post nuptial agreement
2) yearly checkup report (after I discover his betrayal, he went for checkup once and gotten urea plasma which he took antibiotics for treatment), I told him that I may want him to go checkup yearly just to show he is healthy.
3) may ask for lie detector test yearly if I feel like it

May I ask, do your think that given my circumstances, I should give him a second chance? I m still struggling with his betrayal And I know I m still not healed yet, it's almost a year now. He didn't show any weird signs but I find it tough to totally trust again despite his efforts.

By the way, apart from the betrayal, he is all good. No smoke no cigarette, no verbal or physical abuse, talks to me nicely And active in parenting. Respect my parents and helps me in household chores etc. He is also the main breadwinner. After the discovery of betrayal, he is still doing all these plus those extra efforts to gain back my trust. Should I give him a chance?

If my hubby is willing to do what your hubby did, I will definitely give it a try again. I always wanted a complete family for my kids and to me this is very important. Everyone makes mistake but willing to admit and make effort to change is not easy but he is doing it now. Of course, trust need to be earn and u might take more time to heal but learn to look forward is the best u can do. If u don't look forward and kept staying at the same spot where u feel pain, u will feel betrayed forever then this relationship will never work again.
I am not an expert to give advise but I am speaking from what I hope to happen. If my hubby can do just 50% of what yr hubby does, I am already willing to work for it.
 
If my hubby is willing to do what your hubby did, I will definitely give it a try again. I always wanted a complete family for my kids and to me this is very important. Everyone makes mistake but willing to admit and make effort to change is not easy but he is doing it now. Of course, trust need to be earn and u might take more time to heal but learn to look forward is the best u can do. If u don't look forward and kept staying at the same spot where u feel pain, u will feel betrayed forever then this relationship will never work again.
I am not an expert to give advise but I am speaking from what I hope to happen. If my hubby can do just 50% of what yr hubby does, I am already willing to work for it.
Hi 1sttimemum,

Thank you for your response,
May I know your story and is your hubby sorry for what he did? You mentioned he is not even doing 50 percent of what my hubby is doing, but is he even doing anything? So you feel that what my hubby did is enough to prove his sincerity and if you were me, you will give it a chance?
 
Hi 1sttimemum,

Thank you for your response,
May I know your story and is your hubby sorry for what he did? You mentioned he is not even doing 50 percent of what my hubby is doing, but is he even doing anything? So you feel that what my hubby did is enough to prove his sincerity and if you were me, you will give it a chance?
Dear Kopi,
My hubby never admit the relation between him and that woman. They have been together as long as i can remember. Its 8 years already. We are married for 11 years and he started with this woman as friend when i am pregnant with #2 which he do not want. This i guess is why he find that woman better as she really can manipulate people. I get to know her after a while as i call her to ask her what is the relationship between both of them and she told me they are friends or buddy.. hahaha. The naive me actually believe. But after 1 year, i saw very intimate message (kiss, hug and sex etc) on going and its the worst when i already know her. She say 1 thing in front of me and another infront of my hubby. Long story short, they are still together but my hubby is good to the kids, not fantastically good but ok. Responsible in a way, but with me, he respect me as in he won't talk to that woman when at home or message unless he think i sleep already. Sometimes, that woman will call in the morning as I usually went out earlier than hubby so sometime i am not working, it will be caught in surprise. I dun tell my hubby when i am on leave.

You hubby is doing alot already. Not all man can do what your hubby is currently doing. But you have to learn to trust and communicate with him. if you cannot work forward, you will suffer forever. There will be a scar forever in your heart, that is for sure but work on this marriage if it can still be salvage. I am not giving you any advise as i think i am not fit to do so. But i am hoping if 1 day my own hubby can do what you hubby do, I will forgive him and move on. This is for my kids and also for myself. I will never forget which i will tell him but i will also tell him, give me time to heal and I will love you again.

I have friend choose to forgive and now is their 20 years anniversary already. We never what will happen in future so it is really up to you what you want. No one can decide for you but only yourself.
 
Dear Kopi,
My hubby never admit the relation between him and that woman. They have been together as long as i can remember. Its 8 years already. We are married for 11 years and he started with this woman as friend when i am pregnant with #2 which he do not want. This i guess is why he find that woman better as she really can manipulate people. I get to know her after a while as i call her to ask her what is the relationship between both of them and she told me they are friends or buddy.. hahaha. The naive me actually believe. But after 1 year, i saw very intimate message (kiss, hug and sex etc) on going and its the worst when i already know her. She say 1 thing in front of me and another infront of my hubby. Long story short, they are still together but my hubby is good to the kids, not fantastically good but ok. Responsible in a way, but with me, he respect me as in he won't talk to that woman when at home or message unless he think i sleep already. Sometimes, that woman will call in the morning as I usually went out earlier than hubby so sometime i am not working, it will be caught in surprise. I dun tell my hubby when i am on leave.

You hubby is doing alot already. Not all man can do what your hubby is currently doing. But you have to learn to trust and communicate with him. if you cannot work forward, you will suffer forever. There will be a scar forever in your heart, that is for sure but work on this marriage if it can still be salvage. I am not giving you any advise as i think i am not fit to do so. But i am hoping if 1 day my own hubby can do what you hubby do, I will forgive him and move on. This is for my kids and also for myself. I will never forget which i will tell him but i will also tell him, give me time to heal and I will love you again.

I have friend choose to forgive and now is their 20 years anniversary already. We never what will happen in future so it is really up to you what you want. No one can decide for you but only yourself.
Hi thank you for reminding me that my hubby is doing a lot, I m still skeptical about how a cheater will ever Mend their ways because I m a strong believer that a leopard never change its spots and a cheater is always a cheater. I know he has done a lot and I need to fight the negative thoughts in my head in order to live at ease.

From reading so many posts from the wives here, I really am admiring all of you. So many of you still pin hopes on hubbies and want to salvage if they are willing to salvage. And there are Husbands with continuous affairs but wives still hope they change etc some Husband say harsh words but wives still hope Husband can love them again and they will try to salvage. I can only say so many of you are so kind human beings and the husbands really don't know what they are missing. My hubby just need to betray me once and I am already still struggling whether I should still trust him and move on even though he is doing all these reassurances now. I think I m a very protective person and I just don't wish to put myself in a situation where I m not sure whether I will have heartache again.
 
Hi thank you for reminding me that my hubby is doing a lot, I m still skeptical about how a cheater will ever Mend their ways because I m a strong believer that a leopard never change its spots and a cheater is always a cheater. I know he has done a lot and I need to fight the negative thoughts in my head in order to live at ease.

From reading so many posts from the wives here, I really am admiring all of you. So many of you still pin hopes on hubbies and want to salvage if they are willing to salvage. And there are Husbands with continuous affairs but wives still hope they change etc some Husband say harsh words but wives still hope Husband can love them again and they will try to salvage. I can only say so many of you are so kind human beings and the husbands really don't know what they are missing. My hubby just need to betray me once and I am already still struggling whether I should still trust him and move on even though he is doing all these reassurances now. I think I m a very protective person and I just don't wish to put myself in a situation where I m not sure whether I will have heartache again.
Dear Kopi,

Everyone is different. You do not have to compare yourself to us. Maybe some will feel we are weaker, some will think we are strong, some will feel we are silly. The thing is that each of us wanted something different. For me, i believe a complete family is very important and i hope to give that to my children.

But if after all my effort, all the chances, all the heartache, i will eventually give up this relationship. Time is near though and i think i am getting more impatient with him and also tends to show him the unhappiness easier. My tolerance is getting slim too.

So now just waiting for that final trigger point, i might go forward with my divorce.
 
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【2年前這個時候,我難過絕望;2年後的今天,我快樂無比】

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2年前這個時候,我難過絕望;2年後的今天,我快樂無比。是大慈大悲的觀世音菩薩,是無我利他的盧軍宏臺長師父,是心靈法門給了我充滿希望的幸福人生。

小的時候,每當有困難的時候,無助的時候,我就仰望著天空求菩薩讓我快點好起來,我想這就是我最初心底的佛性顯現。相信和我有同樣經歷的人不少。可是長大了後,首先接受了無神論教育,認為鬼神都是不存在的,那只是封建迷信。又被追逐金錢名利地位的社會主流的價值觀所左右,貪瞋痴越染越多,將心底的佛性掩埋。

上大學後認識了男友,10年感情在等待婚禮中結束。痛苦、怨恨,直到學佛後看到明白了前世今生的因果,才得以放下。

和愛人的結合一切都是那麼不可思議的巧合,這冥冥中的安排,就是命運,也是前世的緣分。然而戀情都是以善緣開始,惡緣結束,不知不覺中,這段感情的惡緣像上一段一樣也開始了。

跟他出差去印度。莫名覺得不對勁,陰差陽錯,讓我看到他寫的對我的愛幾乎沒有了,呵呵!這一切不是玩笑,我的婚姻又完了!為什麼總是我呢?為什麼我的真心全部付出總是得不到回報呢?為什麼我的人生像戲劇一樣呢?想不開啊!然後我就想不開了!半夜他在睡覺,我一個人坐在衛生間的地上,想著割開自己的手腕,讓他看見血流滿地,或許回心轉意?我想我沒勇氣吧,不知道坐了多久,拍拍屁股,上床睡了。可是過幾天猛然看見手腕處直直的一條疤,不過我想我什麼都沒幹,至少清醒的時候。

印度白天40多度的高溫,我卻穿著長衣長褲,依然寒冷,所住的酒店是室外走廊,鋼鐵大亨的女兒出嫁,富人云集,歌舞音樂,熱鬧非凡,我站在欄杆處冷眼觀望,心裡想著,我要是這個時候跳樓下去,是不是破壞了別人喜慶的氣氛!哈哈!原諒我想死都這麼有顧慮啊!

向姐姐訴苦,她說你想不開趕緊念心經啊,趕緊念解結咒吧,化解你和愛人的惡緣,成全善緣,並發了個解結咒的視訊。唸經能把愛人的心念回來?我是不信的!只是視訊中法師的慈悲莊嚴的形象感染了我,他是唱誦的,聽了一遍後,聲音始終在我的耳邊縈繞!我就一直在心底唱啊唱啊。晚上睡覺清晰的夢見一個小女孩手牽著一個小男孩,是我打胎的孩子,跟我說:這層不夠高,上面才夠高。整整一天,我都在想上面究竟有多高?好吧!那我就去看看上邊到底有多高!我看著電腦桌面油燈裡的菩薩說,你也救不了我啊。我知道,我打胎的孩子是來索命的,而我欠下的是必須要還的。樓頂的門是開的,這麼巧!踏上樓板的第一步一個趔趄,一身冷汗過後仔細一看樓板邊緣是個鏤空的大洞,直達一樓!當你想不開時,鬼都會推你一把!因為他們就是來索債的!跳樓也是要選時間和方位的呢,最好是等愛人下班回來一進樓能看見的時候縱身躍下,那才刺激呢!電影裡不也是這麼演的嗎?那我就看看吧!看看吧!法師的解結咒又在我的耳邊唱啊唱!坐在樓頂邊沿上等著時間,不知不覺的念念心經,看看四周,只覺得滿眼的美景,印度的樹美得像一片片紅霞,坐了多久不知道,倒是拍了幾張照片!

再下樓時已經心情平靜,坐在床上,眨眼間,一尊巨大佛像金光閃閃,太閃了,我沒看清是菩薩還是佛主。只是我知道我沒睡著,我也死不了了!

接下來,我去買黃紙,列印經文組合(空白小房子),開始超度我打胎的孩子,找遍了印度廠區裡的小賣店只有一張大黃紙,店主白送我了。念禮佛大懺悔文,我淚流滿面,我昔所造諸惡業,皆由無始貪瞋痴。從身語意之所生,一切我今皆懺悔。屋子裡面突然間濃濃的檀香味,而我卻爬上桌子去聞是不是空調裡傳出來的!

幾天後,我夢見我的惡緣化掉了!愛人開始對我關切又體貼!遇見了另一位中國來的女孩,向我訴說著多年不順的感情經歷,我只是簡單的說我信佛了,時至今日,我的婚姻順利了,她卻還在找尋,讓我介紹可以結婚的人,問我看看她是否處在被詛咒中,我說你打過胎婚姻就不會順利的,她說總有幾次意外啊,那麼是否被詛咒的答案就是肯定的了,只是這因是自己造下的。還遇見了一位中國的博士,在印度的事業風生水起,只是婚姻也是不順,我為什麼沒有把解結咒教給你們呢。

三個月的簽證過去了,我回了國,見到國內的朋友一起吃飯,告訴他們我信佛了,大家也只是覺得我糊塗了吧!我當時也沒有什麼度人的概念,大家看上去過的都比我好,我有什麼資格去救渡別人呢。

在家的時候,每天我們都聽臺長節目的錄音,打電話只通過生肖就能看健康和命運,聽到那麼多人打電話都說說的太準了,還反饋學佛唸經後的體會,開始覺得是不是託啊?後來幾乎把幾年的錄音都聽了,成千上萬的打進電話的聽眾,各種年齡、層次、國籍和背景,學佛的人真的是太多了,還有那麼多睿智的人,都在探討一個我以前認為是虛空的話題!好吧,我這個頑固的人,怎麼會輕易相信這些呢?我對姐姐說,你打電話吧,要是打進了,問臺長我打過幾次胎,他說對了我就信,如此的熱線,沒功力的姐姐當然撥不進去,可是第二天早上6點多鐘,我醒了就開始念心經,耳邊臺長清晰的聲音說到:”你啊?哼哼!我看打了三個!”這聲音和語調真真切切!但是我還是有疑慮的,儘管我已經唸經,儘管那麼多不可思議的事都發生了。

轉眼間離開德國快要6個月了,想回德國的話就必須入境了,這段時間我抓緊超度打胎的孩子,我忽然覺得放下了,回不回德國,有沒有婚姻覺得無所謂了,但是只要我一念解結咒,不管什麼時間念,10分鐘之內愛人肯定打電話來!

姐姐說你回去吧,正好臺長馬上在法蘭克福開法會了,你去拜師吧,很巧在日期截止的最後一天,我的申請交上去了,又有德國的負責人給我推薦,而當時我卻是信非信,慚愧啊。回德國,愛人還在印度,我去獨自去法蘭,明明酒店房間都滿了,唸了經就又有了,沒有獨自駕車經驗的我決定坐火車去,這一路上所有的往返小火車、大火車、汽車換乘,購票,步步都有人主動給我指引,有如神助就是這麼回事吧。

機場去迎接臺長,第一次親眼看見他,親切慈悲極了,高高的身材,寬大的西服,有些不合身,我低頭看見臺長的鞋子有些舊,臺長有些疲憊,但是親切的和大家打招呼,人群熱情鼎沸,讓所有老外都駐足觀望。走過我時,握了一下我的手,我合計著傳說中的加持力在哪呢?不到1分鐘,我覺得一股力量順著自己的脊骨汩汩湧入。再次在觀音堂的門口,臺長特意停下來和我說話,這可是在所有其他國家地區的法會中不可能發生的事情。在這裡我看到了那麼多從加拿大,法國,美國,臺灣,韓國,丹麥,各個國家來的佛友,他們大多高學歷,國外生活或留學,年老年輕的,各個行業,積極熱情又誠懇。臺長的演講讓我感到大愛無邊,憂愁全消。

到今天,我的婚姻早已平靜,生活中一切都如我所願!我又有了健康可愛的胎裡素寶寶。如果我當初跳下去了,這一切都不存在了;如果我沒有去參加臺長的法會,我可能還在頹廢;如果我恢復了信心開始了新的生活,但是沒有超度走我打胎的孩子,新的生活也會同樣重蹈覆轍;如果開啟心結,保不準什麼時候又想不開了!那麼多輕生的人,不都是一念之間麼?不還有那麼多活著的人被各種痛苦糾纏得生不如死麼?感恩佛菩薩,感恩臺長師父。救了我的婚姻,救了我的命,更重要的是救了我的慧命!

涉及隱私,當然不想分享的,可是我自己好了,為什麼不去幫助你呢,如果你也需要幫助的話。儘管你也許開著寶馬賓士,吃美味住豪宅,即使某些明星和領導人不也是各有憂愁嗎?

況且身邊的朋友有幾個事事如意的呢?且說婚姻吧,離異的不少,是不是大多和我一樣打過胎?朋友問我婚姻不好和打胎有什麼關係?因為被打胎的嬰靈無處可去,沒有投胎的機會,只能附在母親的身上,母親就會得乳腺,婦科,腰痛等疾病。醫院裡,同病房的人來摘除子宮,看到其他的人打胎,也談起自己當年打胎的經歷,可惜她不知道,這就是自己要摘除子宮的原因啊!時間長了嬰靈怨恨增加,不僅影響身體,還能影響心情,想想看,是不是對所有人外表溫柔的你,卻和愛人吵起架來控制不住自己?我姐姐常說我看我和前男友吵架嚇死人!身邊的德國小姑娘,20歲結婚懷孕,流產半年後,離婚;我的表姐,結婚半年流產後離婚,精神失常……身邊這樣的例子太多了!

嬰靈還會從母親身上跑到其他的孩子身上,孩子會得各種可能的疾病。為什麼?其他的孩子享受著母愛,自己卻成為孤魂野鬼,能不怨恨嗎?我去度第一個朋友,她的打胎的孩子就跟著我了,讓我抽筋痛的很,我一求菩薩,他就走了,當晚我看見他仇恨的打我和朋友,試問受著這樣的怨恨,你的婚姻和身體會好嗎?

有人看了我的素寶寶,問我,要備孕了,需要準備什麼?如果你有打胎過,請先超度流產的孩子。

如果你問了,你能看見鬼啊?我就是看見了告訴你,你也不信。任何人誠心誦經,有緣靈性想讓你看見,你就會感覺到。

如果你問我,菩薩在哪裡?同樣,菩薩就是站在你面前,你也看不見,因為累世的輪迴,貪瞋痴遮住了佛性,所以你看不見。

如果你問我你能看見嗎?我也只能告訴你,你誠心誦經,去除了貪瞋痴,你有機會看到。

也許你說,我不信這些。因為你看不到,所以你不信,也正因為你不信,所以你永遠看不到。我當初也不信呢!

也許你說了,我這輩子能活50歲就行。人生輪迴,靈魂是不會死的,只是轉入了下個輪迴,下個輪迴,你不一定在哪裡!人道,畜生道,鬼道,還是地獄道!看看小狗的眼睛,像不像人的眼睛,能讀懂你的思維,為什麼你是人,他是狗呢?

如果你說了,下輩子的靈魂不是我了,跟我什麼關係?試想一下,如果你的親人現在沒了,而在惡道受苦!你不難過嗎?他們是有記憶的,也會來找你的,只是你看不見而已,他們多希望你能唸經超度他們。

也許你說了,我沒信仰,不念經,照樣很好,飲水冷暖自知,我是希望你一直很好,可是人生無常,父母孩子自己誰能逃脫因果命運,誰能一輩子順風順水?大年三十求助唸的9歲男孩走了,誰能保證這樣的悲劇永遠不會落在自己身上,誰能保證自己永遠沒有絕望無助的時候?退一步講,早一點掌握一個能夠消災治病轉運的方法,為了自己或家人,防患於未然,為什麼不試一試呢?

也許你說,我一個人樂得自在,就是沒感情也挺好,可是有幾個人,能放下感情的傷害帶來的仇恨呢?朋友懷孕老公外遇離婚,提起孩子和老公咬牙切齒;年過50已經離婚30年的同事,提起當年的婚姻同樣耿耿於懷!

也許你說我現在夫妻關係好的很!任何感情都是先善緣後惡緣的,現在好,不代表永遠好,唸經可以將善緣延長,惡緣化減,想想看,自己的父母雖然沒離婚不也是吵鬧幾十年嗎?

我的朋友們,你們是否還在閱讀我的故事嗎?有沒有興趣像我一樣試一試用經文解決一下自己的問題呢?不用你參加任何組織,不用你有多大的信仰,百度搜索經文,小聲念幾遍就好。

想不開,孩子學習不好——心經;婚姻不好人際關係不好——解結咒;身體不好——大悲咒;事業不好——準提神咒;做過錯事——禮佛大懺悔文;殺生太多皮膚不好——往生咒……

信我的,好奇的,可以看我其它親身學佛體驗日誌,看我念經學佛對生活的幫助,親身經歷,實事求是!你我遠在天邊,你像我一樣通過學佛唸經受益了,生活好了,我不得一分錢,我只替你高興!不信的,也正常,我當初也不信的!信仰自由,我當然尊重你的選擇!

今天的我,明白了因果,知道了宇宙真相,學佛修心,每天都過得積極陽光,法喜充滿!

佛法幫助了我,也能幫助到你!
感恩大慈大悲觀世音菩薩!
感恩普度眾生無我利他盧軍宏恩師!

德國同修:一切隨緣則事事如意 感恩合十
 
Is it possible to add me into the support group too? I found out my husband has been visiting prostitutes at those massage parlors for the past 5 years even before we got married. From his sammyboyforum posts he even visited one right within one month of our ROM. I found out all these during my pregnancy last December. I went into preterm labour due to my emotional state. After I gave birth in end of January I went into severe depression and am now still on medication. I am working things out with my husband but I'm still very hurt and angry. Like Kopi Lim my husband admitted to being a sex addict but I still find it very hard to accept the things he's done to me and our child. He also admitted that those prostitutes he had sex with were pretty and attractive and gentle that's why he succumbed to them. It really hurt me and I have no idea how to work on this relationship when my husband has urge to have sex with other women... hope to get some support from the group... thanks.
 
Is it possible to add me into the support group too? I found out my husband has been visiting prostitutes at those massage parlors for the past 5 years even before we got married. From his sammyboyforum posts he even visited one right within one month of our ROM. I found out all these during my pregnancy last December. I went into preterm labour due to my emotional state. After I gave birth in end of January I went into severe depression and am now still on medication. I am working things out with my husband but I'm still very hurt and angry. Like Kopi Lim my husband admitted to being a sex addict but I still find it very hard to accept the things he's done to me and our child. He also admitted that those prostitutes he had sex with were pretty and attractive and gentle that's why he succumbed to them. It really hurt me and I have no idea how to work on this relationship when my husband has urge to have sex with other women... hope to get some support from the group... thanks.
My Husband still deny that the prostitutes are pretty. He said if they are that pretty, they would become celebrities already. I don't believe him because I saw the pics in the forum. Right now when I see Thai women on the streets, I still get affected and that hatred is still there. I wished I never met my hubby in my whole life. It's an irony how I used to tell him that knowing him and having a relationship with Him is the best thing that ever happen to me but now everything becomes opposite. I still have resentment against him for making me a Mother and I have to take care of two young kids.

Yes my hubby has done quite a lot to assure me but somehow, I find it unbelievable that he will never ever stray again. I don't know how to have feelings for him like how I used to and ten twenty years down the road, I find it unbelievable that he will only have intimacy with me for the rest of his lives. Deep down I still hope there's a way out for me to leave the marriage and being able to provide the same standard of living for my kids and I still hope there's some other man who can give me the "love" that I want. Maybe I find it tough to accept a betrayal and hence it's tough for me even when my hubby has done a Lot to show repentance.

Is there anybody out there who has gone throug the same things a few years back but managed to salvage their marriage after their hubbies betrayal with prostitutes?
 
My Husband still deny that the prostitutes are pretty. He said if they are that pretty, they would become celebrities already. I don't believe him because I saw the pics in the forum. Right now when I see Thai women on the streets, I still get affected and that hatred is still there. I wished I never met my hubby in my whole life. It's an irony how I used to tell him that knowing him and having a relationship with Him is the best thing that ever happen to me but now everything becomes opposite. I still have resentment against him for making me a Mother and I have to take care of two young kids.

Yes my hubby has done quite a lot to assure me but somehow, I find it unbelievable that he will never ever stray again. I don't know how to have feelings for him like how I used to and ten twenty years down the road, I find it unbelievable that he will only have intimacy with me for the rest of his lives. Deep down I still hope there's a way out for me to leave the marriage and being able to provide the same standard of living for my kids and I still hope there's some other man who can give me the "love" that I want. Maybe I find it tough to accept a betrayal and hence it's tough for me even when my hubby has done a Lot to show repentance.

Is there anybody out there who has gone throug the same things a few years back but managed to salvage their marriage after their hubbies betrayal with prostitutes?

Kopi Lim, my husband went for PRC prostitutes and if you look at all the sgwolf or sglonelyguy websites, they are indeed young and pretty... I share your exact sentiments really... you totall speak my mind... my husband is doing a lot too but I'm not convinced as I married him believing that I found the true love I've been looking for. He's always been very kind and never once raised his voice at me. But he did this to me... even during my pregnancy... he willingly break our marriage and our family for his desires for these prostitutes, so clearly he doesn't value our relationship and our family much... he is seeing doctor and counselor at the national addiction management center but it's still very unacceptable for me to know that he has sexual desires for these women. Every young Chinese ladies I see out on the street scares me too... I sometimes wonder do I not deserve better? I also resented him for wanting a child when he knows he has such issues. I suffered very depressing start to my motherhood and I saw my friends who post happy family photos on Facebook I get very angry and I don't think I'll ever be happy like they do.

We are now seeing counselor and she's very good even though I'm still not convinced. But she manages to help me through very tough times and help me put a few things in perspectives. If you're interested we can exchange contacts and I can give u her contact.
 
Kopi Lim, my husband went for PRC prostitutes and if you look at all the sgwolf or sglonelyguy websites, they are indeed young and pretty... I share your exact sentiments really... you totall speak my mind... my husband is doing a lot too but I'm not convinced as I married him believing that I found the true love I've been looking for. He's always been very kind and never once raised his voice at me. But he did this to me... even during my pregnancy... he willingly break our marriage and our family for his desires for these prostitutes, so clearly he doesn't value our relationship and our family much... he is seeing doctor and counselor at the national addiction management center but it's still very unacceptable for me to know that he has sexual desires for these women. Every young Chinese ladies I see out on the street scares me too... I sometimes wonder do I not deserve better? I also resented him for wanting a child when he knows he has such issues. I suffered very depressing start to my motherhood and I saw my friends who post happy family photos on Facebook I get very angry and I don't think I'll ever be happy like they do.

We are now seeing counselor and she's very good even though I'm still not convinced. But she manages to help me through very tough times and help me put a few things in perspectives. If you're interested we can exchange contacts and I can give u her contact.


It's good that your hubby is seeing Counselors for therapy to deal with his sexual problem. My hubby did not want to go for therapy because he believe that he can fight the addiction now that he sees that he has a problem. Besides, he is so busy with work and taking care of our two kids that it's tough to find time to attend too. I had reservations with the therapy program also because I do not want my hubby to know the rest of the people with the same problem as I m afraid that they may influence each other negatively. Like if you fail once, restart the therapy and try to encourage each other to do better the next time. But I have no patience for failure. Once he go again, I definitely will leave the marriage.

How much are you paying for your own counsellor? I have Budget issues as I m jobless. Is the counsellor really good? I didn't know about sgwolf or sglonelyguy. I only know my hubby use sammyboy forum and there are many Sex service websites in sammyboy. Do you think we can all come together and raise this serious issues to the MPs and get them to do something about it? They have been encouraging birth rates but how can our children grow up in complete family when all these sex website are so easily available
 
How much are you paying for your own counsellor? I have Budget issues as I m jobless. Is the counsellor really good? I didn't know about sgwolf or sglonelyguy. I only know my hubby use sammyboy forum and there are many Sex service websites in sammyboy. Do you think we can all come together and raise this serious issues to the MPs and get them to do something about it? They have been encouraging birth rates but how can our children grow up in complete family when all these sex website are so easily available

Honestly, these websites have been around a long time. And while I agree that they can be harmful in some ways... it is up to a guy if he chooses to use the services on them. I am personally shocked by some of the stuff on that site myself. I guess stressed people have weird fetishes and fantasies. (some guys actually like to be cuckolded)

If Sammyboy didn't exist, another one probably will take its place. So I think it won't really do much good to try and take down these sites. I think the biggest problem these days is the infiltration of social media and apps into our lives. It is so easy to get on Wechat, WhatsApp etc and have improper relationships etc.

The evils of the modern world indeed. Perhaps a good start would be to declare all mobile devices accessible by both parties. Shared passwords etc. With a lack of a means for secret communication, there will be less temptations (or the means to have them).
 
Honestly, these websites have been around a long time. And while I agree that they can be harmful in some ways... it is up to a guy if he chooses to use the services on them. I am personally shocked by some of the stuff on that site myself. I guess stressed people have weird fetishes and fantasies. (some guys actually like to be cuckolded)

If Sammyboy didn't exist, another one probably will take its place. So I think it won't really do much good to try and take down these sites. I think the biggest problem these days is the infiltration of social media and apps into our lives. It is so easy to get on Wechat, WhatsApp etc and have improper relationships etc.

The evils of the modern world indeed.
I agree that they are everywhere and it's up to a guy whether he wants to do it or not. However, I also believe in evil eyes. You put a person in an environment surrounded by all these activities and in the Long term, all these activities become normal in his eyes and therefore it's normal to take part in it. For example, in a work environment where everyone around you is behaving professional, you will also get affected and more aware of being professional. Go to a pub with people around you dressing sexily, drinking and dancing and socialising around, one will usually become bolder and join in the mood and the fun.

Besides, Not all humans are strong minded. Even grown up guys can in a moment of folly, commit crimes. Even though it's all around for so many years, doesn't mean we just live with it and give up trying. There were many gang activities around back in the olden days in spore and LKY never give up and say let's live with it, he did something and it's close to almost none in Singapore. The hygiene in spore was terrible back then and it's common for people to spit on roadside, LKY never say that it's a cultural and a norm here so let's just live with it, he did something about it and our country is much cleaner now. I don't think sammyboy is around in the 50s or 60s because technology is not so advanced yet. Back in those days, they have to go Geylang to get it. It's not so easily available and not so discrete like now. I still believe something can be done about it. I can't just let my Daughter grow up and risk dating a guy who has the same problem like those addicted guys, neither can I let my boy grow up and finally get exposed to all these and become another addicted person.

I think this sammyboy and porn sites are equal to drugs. If drugs is illegal because it's very addictive and can destroy a family, cost social unrest and makes our country dangerous, these sites can have the same effect. A man hooked to porn or pros is already destroying the family nucleus. Since the Govt wants more Birth rate, I believe they meant more birth rate where children are from complete family. Then they got to do something to provide a healthy environment for us wives and children to live peacefullly And healthily. What's the point of just giving birth for birth rate when the children come from broken family and become social burden later on?
 
Hi Kopi Lim, I don't disagree with you. But I think the G has tried to censor various sites before. Not about this particular one. But guys just find ways around them. It's just like porn. It existed on video tapes, and then vcds/dvds, and now the internet. It is extremely hard to block them in digital format. Prostitution has been around for a long time. Some of it has been legalised. I am personally against casinos and Singlish myself but it's a futile cause. I wish you the best in your endeavor.
 
The cheating husband has been showing his repentance but shows unwillingness when doing them especially those related to the affair. eg need to ask to see his phone messages, then he shows but unwilling. Why?
When asked about the affair, not willingly to talk about it. Why?
What is the man thinking or feeling when they have sex with their wives after the affair?
What is it that the husband want their wives to do or not to do during the period where they are rebuilding their relationship? Especially in situation where the husband is quiet ie shows no objection nor any suggestion but will allow wife wants to do what she wants or request him to do (be it willing or unwillling)
What are the possible issues that the couple may face in future if stay on in the marriage, in addition to building trust (positive side), or repeatedly breaking promises (negative side)?
wonder if there are any couple or men here who have been through or survive the marriage can share what they have been through and their thoughts. How did they manage to overcome the negative thoughts?
There are usually sharing from a woman's point view but not many from a man's point view. Where can I read more about it?
Thanks.
 
Hi pianpian
I'm currently going through this crisis. Still struggling to accept the truth. Why do people lie, cheat, betray?

Why man think that affair and their wife is separate issue?
How can the husband ignore the wife feeling and present at the same time thinking of the woman & messaging her.
How can the husband lie & cheat to the one who loves him the most?
Why the husband say the affair is just playing not serious but it hurt the wife deeply.
How to forget the affair?
How to forgive what the husband had done and let the family down?
How can the husband has sex with the wife and next day still meeting the woman to have more sex?
Why the husband thinks that if he end the affair and the wife should forgive and not leave him.
Where is the honesty and trust in a marriage?

I had been search online to read many articles to understand the affair.
To my surprise almost all man is alike from the past till now, it is so sad.
You may read www.dearpeggy.com and she and her husband had shared their experience.
You may go to youtube to search more talk from the expert.

I just hope there is a way to end this.............
 
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Don't really know the exact reasons...
But most unfaithful husbands I know don't have a strong relationship with their wife prior to cheating, assuming they did not cheat before marriage.

For those that cheat before marriage, that one gone case liao, no need to think too much.
 
I will have to disagree on this one. It's not about the strength of marriage. But rather the strength of his will to resist temptation. Men are sexual creatures. We were made this way. But one can learn to control the urges or DIY to avoid problems.

[QOUTE="TheSelflessOne, post: 8526277, member: 197614"]Don't really know the exact reasons...
But most unfaithful husbands I know don't have a strong relationship with their wife prior to cheating, assuming they did not cheat before marriage.

For those that cheat before marriage, that one gone case liao, no need to think too much.[/QUOTE]
 
But don't you agree that it's much easier to resist temptation with a supportive and loving wife?

Just like how it's much easier to go through pregnancy with a supportive husband, the same applies.
 
If you mean supportive as in she provides for his needs sufficiently etc, then ok yes it will be easier to resist.


But don't you agree that it's much easier to resist temptation with a supportive and loving wife?

Just like how it's much easier to go through pregnancy with a supportive husband, the same applies.
 
It's only a person character if they cheat before marriage. Because, at that point, it's a mental breakthrough for the cheaters. They don't have any form of resistance against the idea of cheating.

If it was your first time murdering, you would think twice before doing it right? But if you were a serial killer, what is one life? You can kill without a blink of an eye.

To those unfaithful husbands who did not cheat before marriage. They would definitely be hesitant towards cheating, thinking twice before doing it, but if they did not have a strong relationship with their wife, it would be much harder to resist, and they would surely give in to temptation.
 
I would say that it is a bit of everything. Character, strength of will, the strength of the relationship with wife, moral compass etc.

Some men go KTV before marriage. Some men go KTV after. Some men don't go KTV if they can avoid it at all. Same with commercial sex or affairs etc. Affairs are the most complicated as a bad moment in a relationship is sometimes a risk factor.

Some men actually think its cool to have sex outside. Some men will feel guilty about it but justify that it's just physical... no emotions. Long list of variables.

To those unfaithful husbands who did not cheat before marriage. They would definitely be hesitant towards cheating, thinking twice before doing it, but if they did not have a strong relationship with their wife, it would be much harder to resist, and they would surely give in to temptation.
 
It is the secrecy that makes the affair so happening and exciting.
It' is like first love and sex with new pretty partner is more thrilling especially going to the hourly hotel for that secret moment.

My husband bring his lover to the most romantic sky cable car dinner and enjoy themselves till 3am.
They went to east coast and marina bay dating and go hotel....
She will message him in morning to greet him with sweet messages, I think most wife don't practice these anymore.
These are things the husband no longer do it with the wife, cos wife is always there staying at home waiting for them
and far from sight.

If you need to enjoy sex or have lovers what is the point to get married?
Just divorce be single again and you can enjoy any type of woman out there.

So when affair is being exposed, beg for forgiveness and everything will go back to normal.

I know that when they first make the move to have affair they did not think of the worse consequences and
how hurt it will be to their wife / partner.

It is terrible to image that your husband go bed with another woman and
enjoy themselves thinking that they will not be caught.
 
s phone and pc any
Kopi Lim, my husband went for PRC prostitutes and if you look at all the sgwolf or sglonelyguy websites, they are indeed young and pretty... I share your exact sentiments really... you totall speak my mind... my husband is doing a lot too but I'm not convinced as I married him believing that I found the true love I've been looking for. He's always been very kind and never once raised his voice at me. But he did this to me... even during my pregnancy... he willingly break our marriage and our family for his desires for these prostitutes, so clearly he doesn't value our relationship and our family much... he is seeing doctor and counselor at the national addiction management center but it's still very unacceptable for me to know that he has sexual desires for these women. Every young Chinese ladies I see out on the street scares me too... I sometimes wonder do I not deserve better? I also resented him for wanting a child when he knows he has such issues. I suffered very depressing start to my motherhood and I saw my friends who post happy family photos on Facebook I get very angry and I don't think I'll ever be happy like they do.

We are now seeing counselor and she's very good even though I'm still not convinced. But she manages to help me through very tough times and help me put a few things in perspectives. If you're interested we can exchange contacts and I can give u her contact.


Can share your counselor with me?
 


after 14 years of marriage,i just found out that my husband got a china woman and he even move back that china woman back to china and he want to divorce me now,i dont know what to do and i got 3 young kids, i am only a housewife all these years. i dnt have saving too. what should i do now? he refuse to answer my call and he blocked me from his wechat. what is he offer now only he gonna pay for my shelter and food,int he return i need to take care 3 kids just like before and i need to find a job to buy things i need. i dnt have insurance at all too,i dnt know if i sick will he still pay for my medical in the future? im really devasted and im in pain,i dnt know where to go ask for help? anyone please can tell me what should i do now? he made me lost 18kg within one months! i have been crying everyday and night. he gone for work in china since 25/4/2017 and he doesnt bother to tell me when he will be back in tow,only he can contact us.
 

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