How to get over cheating husband

[Troubled Mom]

Hi all, i caught my husband texting other women in a chat group. Going out with them. Asking how much they charge for sex service and also going clubbing/pub behind my back. At times bring those girls along with him as well. This went on for almost half a year.
Its been a year now since that incident. He had apologised, and begged me not to divorce him. I forgave him. But i can never forget what he did to me. Up till now we will still fight over what he had done. And he kept insisting that he never do it again now. But i have a strong feeling he is up to something. And i assume he is covering up his tracks very well. He refuse any sex from me. He refuse to cuddle with me when we sleep. We rarely talk now. When we reach home, he will be using his hp till he goes to bed. I dont know what else i should do. Should i just get a separation? It is very depressing being like this.

 

[ltbs2006]

Troubled Mum,

If you forgave him, why are the 2 of you still fighting over what he had done? The fact that you are fighting means there had not been forgiveness although you think you had forgiven him. If I am your husband, from a guy's viewpoint, it means you do not mean what you say, and you are still suspicious of me and think I will go back to my old ways, so why bother talking or cuddle or have sex? There is no more trust between both parties - you don't trust him because of what he had previously done, and he don't trust you because you said you forgave him when in reality you did not. If things continue, it will spiral out of control and the marriage could potentially fall apart eventually. Are you willing to get professional help and speak to a marriage counselor to try to salvage the situation?

You say you have a strong feeling he is up to something. And you assume he is covering up his tracks very well. There must be proof to back up your suspicion. If you do not have solid proof at this moment, are you willing to get a PI to track his movements and confirm or disprove your suspicion? Just because he refuse any sex from you, refuse to cuddle with you, refuse to talk to him, does not automatically makes him guilty. Being suspicious continually is bad for your emotional health and the marriage, regardless of whether he is guilty or not.

Assuming he is guilty of something funny such that you are seriously thinking of leaving him, then maybe separation is an option, but do take note that getting a separation is not a decision to be taken lightly. If you have no kids, then it's much easier. If you have kids, then very very complicated as the other threads in this forum will show.

 

[cherryapple25]

I am also in the same situation as u. I am trying to forgave him but he doesn't know what I know behind him. I just what to a save my family. Each time I think of what he did.... the more I don't know who he is. He like a changed man. The only gd part is he disguise it well and be the gd husband and daddy. I have hint him stuff he gone to... I am just afraid if I ask him... the family will break apart... so I am just waiting for time....

 

[Noobee]

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=1167433933352750

 

[mimicoco77]

Hi all, start saving. It happen to me, he bragged for forgiveness but old habit don't change. Thus, I divorce him.