Messaging Female Strangers

K

kiche

Member
Am very hurt right now...my husband is emailing/messaging female strangers in SammyBoy forum with suggestive messages.

Though he confessed that he has only msged them at the spur of the moment with no intention to meet up for sex or anything, I cant believe that he has been doing this since 4 years ago and i was stupid enough to only find out now!!! Really dunno what to think or take the next course of action...
 


Hey Kiche! *hugs* I hope u are feeling better now after the initial shock. Moving forward, let your husband know u will NOT tolerate infidelity. Have a heart to heart chat with him. Be calm. Hope the two of u will ride out this storm together:)
 
SLmum said:
Hey Kiche! *hugs* I hope u are feeling better now after the initial shock. Moving forward, let your husband know u will NOT tolerate infidelity. Have a heart to heart chat with him. Be calm. Hope the two of u will ride out this storm together:)
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Thank u so much SLmum. I need to sit down and rationally think through what is the outcome that i want after this incident. But there will always be that nagging thought if he will do it again in future. Our trust has been broken and this is what hurts the most...
 
Hi Mummy. Not to worry. You are not alone. I also recently just found out that my Husband visited a PRC massage service last month and got caught red handed by me on 21st July. We had a really big fight and he denied at first. But admitted in the end when I told him I will give him a day to think about whether or not to be honest with me because I already had solid prove. He told me it was just masturbation. And I was also really really hurt especially when I'm pregnant with no.2 now. But we talked things out and I forgave him in the end because I still love him very much. Hopefully he doesn't do it again....
 
Chubbybaby2 said:
Hi Mummy. Not to worry. You are not alone. I also recently just found out that my Husband visited a PRC massage service last month and got caught red handed by me on 21st July. We had a really big fight and he denied at first. But admitted in the end when I told him I will give him a day to think about whether or not to be honest with me because I already had solid prove. He told me it was just masturbation. And I was also really really hurt especially when I'm pregnant with no.2 now. But we talked things out and I forgave him in the end because I still love him very much. Hopefully he doesn't do it again....
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My husband and I went for counselling today. I have decided to forgive him and give the marriage another try even though mental images keep coming up abt what he did with female strangers.

Jiayou Chubbybaby2! We need to be strong for ourselves and our children if there are any.
 
kiche said:
My husband and I went for counselling today. I have decided to forgive him and give the marriage another try even though mental images keep coming up abt what he did with female strangers.

Jiayou Chubbybaby2! We need to be strong for ourselves and our children if there are any.
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Yay! Happy for you. Me too. Although I have forgiven him. But I don't think I'll ever forget. The thought of him being touched by another person still comes to my mind on and off. Actually I'm thinking about it now, that's why I came back to this forum.
 
Chubbybaby2 said:
Yay! Happy for you. Me too. Although I have forgiven him. But I don't think I'll ever forget. The thought of him being touched by another person still comes to my mind on and off. Actually I'm thinking about it now, that's why I came back to this forum.
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Same here...i have forgiven my husband for doing such things after. realising that what he did was a reaction to the issues between us. But the mental images of what he did with other women are still in my brain. And i definitely will not be able to get rid of those images!
 
Dwelling on this will simply lead to depression. There are more fullfilling and happier things to focus on, like losing weight n looking good or urban farming.
 
it's easy t
triple70 said:
Dwelling on this will simply lead to depression. There are more fullfilling and happier things to focus on, like losing weight n looking good or urban farming.
Click to expand...

no one like be in a state of sadness, but how to move forward if we are not even sure whether he had stop his action.
how to be happy and look good when your heart is hurting.
Just don't understand why there is always people who point finger at the wife when the husband stray.
if u are really a mother, the stress of doing house work, and looking after the baby already tired u out physically. Not everyone can be a tai tai and no need to do all the family chores.
o
 
bretrayed said:
it's easy t


no one like be in a state of sadness, but how to move forward if we are not even sure whether he had stop his action.
how to be happy and look good when your heart is hurting.
Just don't understand why there is always people who point finger at the wife when the husband stray.
if u are really a mother, the stress of doing house work, and looking after the baby already tired u out physically. Not everyone can be a tai tai and no need to do all the family chores.
o
Click to expand...


Yea I couldn't agree more. How to be happy when all the dirty image of him touching the other women/the other women touching him always pop up in your mind. Thinking about all the happy times when you had tgt is even worst. Knowing that he has already spoilt the r/s that you cherish so much. And all the trust that you have given him. Of course, it's easy for him to say that he is going to change. But whether or not he will really change permanently and not just for now when the wife's heart is broken is another thing because we all know that they will be even more careful after getting caught the 1st time. Can I also go out and have an affair? Or just have a one night stand? And then ask people to stfu about it? The women will always be at the losing end because she has already sacrificed her body to giving birth, and when you already have children, it's hard for you to start another relationship. So you are stuck. Whereas the guy can give you custody of the child and find a new women.
 
Chubbybaby2 said:
Yea I couldn't agree more. How to be happy when all the dirty image of him touching the other women/the other women touching him always pop up in your mind. Thinking about all the happy times when you had tgt is even worst. Knowing that he has already spoilt the r/s that you cherish so much. And all the trust that you have given him. Of course, it's easy for him to say that he is going to change. But whether or not he will really change permanently and not just for now when the wife's heart is broken is another thing because we all know that they will be even more careful after getting caught the 1st time. Can I also go out and have an affair? Or just have a one night stand? And then ask people to stfu about it? The women will always be at the losing end because she has already sacrificed her body to giving birth, and when you already have children, it's hard for you to start another relationship. So you are stuck. Whereas the guy can give you custody of the child and find a new women.
Click to expand...
I more than totally agree with u.
I always think that after giving birth, we are like used goods, it will become 2nd hand good to another man regardless of whether he say he don't mind (and mean it)

He can just go for another woman and "start afresh", being a generous woman specie i think we r more than willing to accept a divorce man than a man accepting a divorced woman that has given birth and sacrifice her health and body.

We women are greatest.
 
Hey Kiche! How are u doing? Hope all is well on ur end.
We got your back. If u ever need a listening ear, we are all here for u:)
 
SLmum said:
Hey Kiche! How are u doing? Hope all is well on ur end.
We got your back. If u ever need a listening ear, we are all here for u:)
Click to expand...
Thanks SLmum! We've gone for counselling and with the new insights, trying to work things out. I'm still pretty paranoid that he will do similar things again, but trying to walk forward again instead of dwelling on the past.

Hope everyone is doing well here too!
 
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