[Seeking Advice] Ex Husband denied me access to my daughter

TruthBeTold85

New Member
Looking for some advices here. My ex husband had denied me access to our daughter to coming close to 2 years now. She is in primary school and has school holidays. However, he has constantly failed to communicate (messages and calls ignored), and had been bringing her out of the country for vacation without my consent or even knowledge.

Is there something I can do to stop him from bringing our daughter overseas this coming year end? I really wish to see my daughter.

We share joint custody and he has the care and control.

Any help sisters/brothers?
 


Anybody here with similar past experience? How do I go with this? Should I engage a lawyer to reinforce my interests/rights?
 
If you share joint custody and control, the law requires that he allow visitation and access. I am sure you can file a complaint to the family court. Maybe you can call them up and see how to proceed? Or your previous lawyer that handled the divorce?

Also, take screenshots of the unreturned calls and unreplied messages. You may need to submit these as evidence.

All the best
 
If you share joint custody and control, the law requires that he allow visitation and access. I am sure you can file a complaint to the family court. Maybe you can call them up and see how to proceed? Or your previous lawyer that handled the divorce?

Also, take screenshots of the unreturned calls and unreplied messages. You may need to submit these as evidence.

All the best

Yeah by right he should be granting me visitations, especially so during holiday periods. We used to have "shared" care and control (my daughter living at each of our place every other week prior to Primary school). However, ever since my daughter started P1, he suddenly gave pattern. Brainwashed my daughter that when I discipline her is equivalent to child abuse. He even engaged social services to my house for interview. Even the social workers couldn't really justify anything close to a child abuse. However, he had since taken things into his own hands and decided that I shouldn't be seeing my daughter anymore. While he kept saying that he will try to encourage visitation, on the other hand, he kept using my daughter as a shield/excuse for denying the access. "She is afraid of you.. etc" each time I call, she will say the same thing as though memorised before I could even say a thing. I'm very depressed by this and it had been for close to 2 years.

I can't get to see or spend time with my daughter. She has a half brother with me that I have with my current husband. She appears as if she doesn't care about me or even her brother whom she grew up with anymore. Another sister is currently on the way. 33 weeks now and she doesn't even get to know or see. That saddened me even more.

My ex keeps keeping her away from me. Her school results, her health conditions and all her other things. She is a post liver transplant patient that requires daily medication. Now I don't get to know hows she doing. The school and the hospital doesn't even acknowledge me anymore. Saying I do not have care and control. I'm still her mother nonetheless right? I feel like such a failure that cannot even secure my own daughter from such a bastard.

The things that he is doing now is so fishy. How can he just keep her away from me? Alienate me. Ignore me entirely. For whole freaking 2 years. Is he breaking the law or something? Is this consider contempt of court order for our joint custody? As I do not have any say whatsoever! The choice of primary school. Her health condition. Nothing at all. I feel injustice that he could just throw me an accusation of child abuse and do all these without anyone noticing. I feel like telling the whole world his deeds. To keep things amicable during our divorce back then I even agreed to let him have the care and control temporarily to secure our matrimonial flat with him and our daughter as joint owners, otherwise it would be forfeited. Time and time I ask him the care and control back from him, his mother is always objecting. And now this is what I get. For being so accommodative to someone who cheated in our marriage. I'm so blinded.

For now I just want to see my daughter.
 
That's why I always tell mummies, don't give up Care & Control , don't think Joint Custody yr ex will play fair.... what u can do is ..if u dare, go to family court , level 1 take a number, ask the officer how to issue a Summon that you can't see yr child ....take photos if you can, but court only admit PI photos , but you can try.
 
That's why I always tell mummies, don't give up Care & Control , don't think Joint Custody yr ex will play fair.... what u can do is ..if u dare, go to family court , level 1 take a number, ask the officer how to issue a Summon that you can't see yr child ....take photos if you can, but court only admit PI photos , but you can try.
Take photos of what? Photos of my daughter with him? In fact he is not even the main caregiver. His parents are. What kind of photos should I be looking out for?
 
Take photos of what? Photos of my daughter with him? In fact he is not even the main caregiver. His parents are. What kind of photos should I be looking out for?

Anything in support of your case would be useful. I.e. screenshots of unreplied texts, screenshots of unanswered phone calls. If he is often overseas etc and you have evidence to support? If his parents are the one covering all the parent events/duties and you have a case to support?

As for all cases, the child is the priority. You should also keep such evidence, or pen down some notes. If one day, your child ask why you "abandon" her, you would like to tell her that you tried so hard, all the ways you know how... but you failed. Not because you want your child to hate the father, but because you want to let her know, factually, that you tried all ways and means. How much you missed her, etc. Not just talk. Keep a journal or something? That you went to her school on such and such and saw her such and such from far, but teacher didn't let you in? At least she should feel loved, not abandoned. Even when you have 2nd and 3rd child, she is still your number one. :)
 
Thanks for the advice frog. I have all the snapshots of the read but unreplied text. Shall be compiling all these to make a case.
 
Though his parents are the main care givers, the court doesn't see that way. He is the legal custodian. File a summons , you can DIY ,most easy ..or get a lawyer
 
u need to get a good lawyer. a lot of times our experience and advice may not be the best, because the law depends on evidence. the smartest lawyer helps.
hope u can get a lawyer that can help u see ur daughter soon!!
 
Actually go n retrieve the old court order and then get a lawyer to admit this in court. If he still doesn't allow to see your child, then its breach of court order, he will be penalise for it
 
Though his parents are the main care givers, the court doesn't see that way. He is the legal custodian. File a summons , you can DIY ,most easy ..or get a lawyer

How I file a summon? I'm currently expecting with another child so travelling to and fro may not be the most ideal arrangement for me now. I've tried making police reports too. I really think what he is doing now is wrong but the law just doesn't seem to be on my side. Feeling more depressed each day. Being alienated to such extent and flying aeroplane previously when he agreed to let me see my daughter. Can you imagine I used to spend every other week with her? And now totally distanced.
 
u need to get a good lawyer. a lot of times our experience and advice may not be the best, because the law depends on evidence. the smartest lawyer helps.
hope u can get a lawyer that can help u see ur daughter soon!!
You are right. But I also need people with similar experiences that might have overcome their ordeal. Like how to deal with such a character. Everything just say my daughter doesn't want to see me. Is this enough to stop me from accessing? Leaving the decision to a minor? Can pretend to bring my daughter to my doorstep just to let her put up a show for me to see.

I told him once, as parents, we each have our responsibilities to our child, be it together or not. But leaving such a big call to a girl of 7 years old and not doing anything to help really isn't what a man should be doing. On top of poison her that I've been abusing her previously.
 
Actually go n retrieve the old court order and then get a lawyer to admit this in court. If he still doesn't allow to see your child, then its breach of court order, he will be penalise for it

Now he doesn't even respond
to any of my text/call. It's just see and ignore. Can like that?can anybody figure what he is trying to do? Like TV drama? "Anything, talk to my lawyer" ? Does the system in singapore work this way? That he can totally ignore me until I finally engage a lawyer for a battle that is totally unnecessary to begin with. I can see his whatsapp status online/last seen to prove that he is still using that number. His parents too. All still using the same contact numbers but just simply wun reply at all. I'm afraid to call his house because he always get my daughter to say her top sentence even before I could say a word "I don't want to see you" An adult that's always evading and using a child as an instrument as a mean to achieve what he wants.
 
You mentioned that your daughter was living at each of your place every other week prior to Primary school, then the Order of Court should be Joint Custody and Share Care and Control if you did not vary the Court Order.

The school has no right to stop you from seeing your daughter.

If you really wish to see your daughter, I tell you what to do in order for you to see your daughter once the school re-open in 2017 if I have your email address?
 
You mentioned that your daughter was living at each of your place every other week prior to Primary school, then the Order of Court should be Joint Custody and Share Care and Control if you did not vary the Court Order.


The school has no right to stop you from seeing your daughter.

If you really wish to see your daughter, I tell you what to do in order for you to see your daughter once the school re-open in 2017 if I have your email address?

He had full care and control from the start. However, he only wants it to retain the matrimonial flat which would had been forfeited if otherwise as I didn't want to keep the flat. Hence, he made absurd arrangements for me to take care of our daughter too as a fair share of things. 3.5 days each week each place. My current husband amended the arrangement to one week each after 3 years of such torture for both adults and the child. He wasn't even the one to take care of her most of the time to begin with. His parents are the main care givers, even during weekends. However, his mother always think of herself as mother instead of me, so alot of things were done her way even though I strongly objected against. I have little to no say in anything concerning my daughter, even as a joint custodian. What primary school to enroll her etc. All overwritten by her grandmother because the father is too mummy boy to understand that our daughter is our responsibility, not his mother's.

I will appreciate any advice you can provide. My email is [email protected]
 
If you want your kid the smartest lawyer will be most expensive but he will not guarantee you win. ... unless you can proof your ex lousy parental care bla bla bla ... by the time u win, your $$ gone spent on the most expensive lawyer .... I self represented my divorce totally and I can tell you no smartest lawyer can 100% guarantee you win.
 
He had full care and control from the start. However, he only wants it to retain the matrimonial flat which would had been forfeited if otherwise as I didn't want to keep the flat. Hence, he made absurd arrangements for me to take care of our daughter too as a fair share of things. 3.5 days each week each place. My current husband amended the arrangement to one week each after 3 years of such torture for both adults and the child. He wasn't even the one to take care of her most of the time to begin with. His parents are the main care givers, even during weekends. However, his mother always think of herself as mother instead of me, so alot of things were done her way even though I strongly objected against. I have little to no say in anything concerning my daughter, even as a joint custodian. What primary school to enroll her etc. All overwritten by her grandmother because the father is too mummy boy to understand that our daughter is our responsibility, not his mother's.

I will appreciate any advice you can provide. My email is [email protected]

don't simply go and fight for care and control.
take one step at a time.
Ask for access time for your daughter. No judge will disallowed a mother access time to the daughter unless your ex can prove u ill treat child or a bad example for your daughter. Even if so, most to most will be supervise access.
Then after u get access to your daughter slowly built up the bond with her and get more access time as time go on.
As your daughter grows older she will need the mother more, by then if u wan to overturn the care and control will be easier.
 
I'm actually not fighting for the care and control. I just want to see my daughter and them stopping all the nonsense brainwashing and granting me my rightful access. They are constantly coercing my daughter not to see me. Make her cry each time I appear at the doorstep.

These adults are not making any improvement for the stranded relationship between me and my daughter, in fact they rather it that way to ensure my daughter no longer comes back to my side. This kinda behaviour is not only inhumane but also very disheartening for parents like me who is trying to hard to convince my daughter that I do her no harm at all.

I'm simply asking for rightful and reasonable access but what he and his family is doing is pretending that I'm dead. I'm not surprised he might really tell her that and replacing my role as a mother with his wife to be. That I think is totally not right.

I hope that any lawyer representing me can see that this is the strongest justification why I pursue the matter. A blatant disregard for the Women's Charter. He can't simply shut me off and disregard all forms of communications. For a good 2 years... the behavior was so abrupt. My daughter used to stay with me, raised by me. All of the sudden became no access and I can't do shit about it.

I was depressed for a long time after it happened along with my current husband who played a great part in raising and nurturing her. All gone because of people like them who plants ill thoughts onto fragile mind of a child who experienced a broken family.

Now, all I'm asking for is access at least she still remembers her mother had not forgotten about her despite whatever tales they had planted into her.
 
If you listen to others n dun fight ...jolly well give up n dun see yr girl cos they will use all kinds of tricks to prevent u ... when did yr divorce complete ? When was the last you spent time with yr girl ? What was the agreed arrangement? Did you have an evidence they stopped you seeing her? Are you really to be A real mum? No mummy gives up their kids...we fight till drop dead....thats me..i fight all the freaking way

So before you decide anything..best you think real hard...your girl is no pet ..play when you are free or happy ..if you are still ready, PM me, I'll guide u
 

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