I been crying almost every nites since I know divorce is coming to us..There is aso once time I break down in office... I just cannot accept the fact as our journey to marriage is not easy. But to now, I have to learn to accept and let go... Maybe he can find a better one than me....and come to think, a failed marriage take 2 hands to clap...guess I am part of the cause as well.. But I discover too late to save this marriage...
I guess even if they do, they will be too ashamed to admit it.Unfortunately, some ppl never realized what they lost and live happily ever after
bbdust81, can I ask what are you working as currently?My hubby is PR n I will be going back with him to his hometown for cny...
He said infront that there is no chance to patch up n don't want to drag till our wedding anniversary which is on end Mar..
So I suppose we will approach lawyer after we are back...
After hearing this, I still agree to go back with him..which I know feeling will be worse thereafter..
Yesterday is his birthday n I buy him a cake which I told him this will be my last chance to celebrate for him as a wife... We hugged together n cry...
Am I very silly? I m still dropping tears when I typed out these... I don't know what to do...
bbdust81, can I ask what are you working as currently?
May I know do you shout or grumble at your husband?Senior Accountant...
I don't shout or grumble...only some nagging...May I know do you shout or grumble at your husband?
Sorry if you think I am questioning you, no, I just want to know more
it depends on individual men, some find nagging is a way we feel that own wife love us. But I would say majority would show respect what your husband does. When the day you all dating till married, it is all about you finding his way of doing is very attractive. that is the reason for you to decide to spend the rest of your life with him. We, as men, also want our wife to show us the admirer and love when dating even when married. I don't really stand on men side fully, I also how you all feel as women. When dating, you all see that the man you are with have a great future ahead. But after married, another side of us appear and hurt you with disappoint. (Correct me if my thoughts are wrong) I am just saying from my experience. At this moment, touch your heart, do you still love him deeply and are you really willing to let go? (Yes - Let go, No - I will share with you how to do)I don't shout or grumble...only some nagging...
These affect ?
I still love him but I know I can't change this outcome...so I have to let him go..it depends on individual men, some find nagging is a way we feel that own wife love us. But I would say majority would show respect what your husband does. When the day you all dating till married, it is all about you finding his way of doing is very attractive. that is the reason for you to decide to spend the rest of your life with him. We, as men, also want our wife to show us the admirer and love when dating even when married. I don't really stand on men side fully, I also how you all feel as women. When dating, you all see that the man you are with have a great future ahead. But after married, another side of us appear and hurt you with disappoint. (Correct me if my thoughts are wrong) I am just saying from my experience. At this moment, touch your heart, do you still love him deeply and are you really willing to let go? (Yes - Let go, No - I will share with you how to do)
Curious question. He have someone outside?I still love him but I know I can't change this outcome...so I have to let him go..
Whether has someone outside, i don't wish to know or probe further... Our outcome will still be the sameCurious question. He have someone outside?
ok sure, as you have put your mindset to accepting this fact. Blessing be with you.Whether has someone outside, i don't wish to know or probe further... Our outcome will still be the same
Can i ask. Husband mother also nag, why men don't say they can't take it n wan to leave them?
Eh...I’m actually quite shocked to hear that one of the reason is childless. It wasn’t yr fault at all. You did tried IVF which is a painful process for you. Even if all these failed, still can adopt. I can tell you that I won’t leave a woman bcos of childless.He want to lead his own life and walk by himself his pathway...His mind is already fixed and decided divorce is the way out for both of us...and he did said being childless is aso one of the cause of this as we try IVF but failed...
I don't think we can salvage this marriage anymore as he ask me to treat this trip as a normal holiday, don't pin any hopes in this....
I think the main reason for divorce is not about being childless, but merely a reason she cant refute since he has made up his mind.Eh...I’m actually quite shocked to hear that one of the reason is childless. It wasn’t yr fault at all. You did tried IVF which is a painful process for you. Even if all these failed, still can adopt. I can tell you that I won’t leave a woman bcos of childless.
Eh...I’m actually quite shocked to hear that one of the reason is childless. It wasn’t yr fault at all. You did tried IVF which is a painful process for you. Even if all these failed, still can adopt. I can tell you that I won’t leave a woman bcos of childless.
yes.. its lucky that no kids r involve.. else more issue to worry..Siding a woman's inability to procreate that results the failure of a marriage is the worst kinda excuse especially for a man to come up with.
This is a very down comment. Do not let this clipped your wings for life. There are definitely better man out there.
Marriage is an affirmation of love between 2 person. It's about their wants to care for each other for a life time. procreation is a separate issue.
Through thick or thin as the vows says...
This guy is selfish. It would b considered lucky that there's no kids involve.
John if my soon to be ex-Husband can think in half of your mind and half of your logic maybe there will still be chance to salvage our marriageEh...I’m actually quite shocked to hear that one of the reason is childless. It wasn’t yr fault at all. You did tried IVF which is a painful process for you. Even if all these failed, still can adopt. I can tell you that I won’t leave a woman bcos of childless.
Yes Joy that’s right. Even though we have not officially filed for divorce, with him moving out from the matrimonial home for 3 months and ignoring the children, it is already affecting my elder child in terms of school work and behaviour.yes.. its lucky that no kids r involve.. else more issue to worry..
I really feel sorry for you but nevertheless, life moves on. U never know u will meet a better man than yr ex. Just one thing, remember to forgive whoever that hurt you, it will make u feel better in life.John if my soon to be ex-Husband can think in half of your mind and half of your logic maybe there will still be chance to salvage our marriage
CRAZY!!! No way you going to accept his suggestion! How much is the outstanding loan? There are a lot of free loan calculator on the web https://www.moneysmart.sg/home-loan/calculatorHi MK, I don't know hw to do all this sums as usually all this r done by my husb.. he knows my finance hence he said I can't afford the house n finance to raise the kids.. I have asked the hdb, I can retain the flat if I have the care ctrl of my kids.. but he worked out the sum and said if I dun return his cpf nw den I can afford to take loan and continue the flat. Then 4yrs later then sell the flat. If worst scenario he wants me to return all his cpf, then I will not be eligible for hle loan cos the o/s is too huge. Hence my husb says the best suggestion is for me to accept the woman in and I can keep the flat n the kids will still have a complete family..(his suggestion is what I can't accept till now)
You should just go ahead....I confronted him yesterday. He did not show any signs of remorse. I suggested he move out to give us cooling time. He said why must he move out. If I want divo, go ahead. He said if I want to make a scene with the woman in his office, go ahead. We are talking to a crazy terrorist here
I am contemplating abt life ahead...
For those who have divorced or are divorcing, how’s life after the big leap forward?
Do you start socialising? How do you widen yr social circle?
Are you open to remarrying again, esp those with kids? Or companionship w/o marrying? Or simply stay single with kids?
Didn’t you have time to be You when married? With the daddy not around now, ain’t you more tied down looking after the kids?
Would you want someone in your life in future?
I didn’t have time to find ME, I’m more towards looking after everything else except ME.
Once divorced, children have to go over for access and then i have my free time.
Why do I need one when I know I can handle almost everything? Why should I get someone to enter my life again n worry about if the person truly loves me or will be good to my children or will the person change after all the lovey dovey is over?
I seen so many women who can also live their golden age beautifully, excitingly, gracefully without partners, they commit more towards returning to society.
The beauty they have shown is no less, i guess because they have less problems to face lol .
What do you do during your free time
Self-care is very importantI spend time with my hobbies, read, enjoy time with myself either by window shopping, nails, hair, facial and etc. I catch up with friends and I don’t have to worry that my children is waiting for me at home.
oh yah, and i catch up on my sleep. I realized a lot of mothers are lack of sleep
First few months after the divorce is a bit hard...But I picked up myself as the months fly by.Self-care is very important
I am contemplating abt life ahead...
For those who have divorced or are divorcing, how’s life after the big leap forward?
Do you start socialising? How do you widen yr social circle?
Are you open to remarrying again, esp those with kids? Or companionship w/o marrying? Or simply stay single with kids?
Normal... Life still goes on...How do you ladies make use of this 2nd chance to live the life you want
Is there any group chat I can join currently going for divorce too.
Life goes on...
Do small things to make yourself happy..
Give yourself time to heal..to grief..
Change the habits that you normally do when married, it helps.
Chat to know more friends..
thanks Janlim512 i pm uI don't think there's a group chat out there (Or at least maybe am unaware of)
You can pm me your number if you want, I can try start a group chat if there's others interested.
Agreed! Change the habits (bad of course) normally during marriage, which you encountered/know of.
And make more friends
Hi my divorce was finalised only last month after I discovered his affair with the PRC more than a year ago.. . Life goes on and self care is very important.. Life has been good so far.. so this is a second chance to rebuild your life after divorceI divorced 6 mths ago. Have been keeping this a secret except for family n a few close frens. Its a torture for me to carry on this way. So will be good if there is a group for sharing.
Hi my divorce was finalised only last month after I discovered his affair with the PRC more than a year ago.. . Life goes on and self care is very important.. Life has been good so far.. so this is a second chance to rebuild your life after divorce