Redpillowcase
New Member
Hi there! I would like to hear your views about this topic. This topic has been going on for awhile and I'm curious to know what mother's felt from both sides of the story.
Hi there! I would like to hear your views about this topic. This topic has been going on for awhile and I'm curious to know what mother's felt from both sides of the story.
Hmmmmm, I am not a mother yet but I have mothers around me. lol. Not sure why you regret being a mother. Maybe you can share ?
We shouldn't judge and compare I think...Hi,
There are a lot of ladies out there trying to get pregnant but could not. Why do you regret to be a mother? It is a joy to have a child.
I'm not a mum YET, but this is my story. My mum gave birth to me when she was 22, and by the time she was 30, she had given birth to my 2 other sisters.
My parents relationship were rocky, my mum doesn't have support from her in-laws as they hated her and my dad left us when they were divorced in their early 30s, not long after my youngest sis was born. He did not even call or visited us once. Just gone like we don't exist.
In my growing up years, we were poor and mum had to go out to work. while i look after my youngest sis. My mum was never a loving mum, she treated us with tough love. The of 3 never depended on her (except financially)
We never talked about feelings.
Things started to get better in my late teens. and the 3 of us grew up to be decent people. 2 sisters went Uni and all of us had a job, contributed to the household and mum didn't have to work so hard anymore. She never remarried or mentioned to us whether she had a BF. We never asked. We were a typically conservative family.
One day during a family dinner with my husband, out of nowhere my mum sighed and said "my life would been better if i didn't have the 3 of you."
I'm already 30 this year, married and she says this??? maybe she doesn't mean it, maybe it was just a passing remark, but I sure was hurt when I heard it. I was feeling like we were a burden to her all along, and this comment really confirmed it.
My sisters pretended it was nothing, just rolled eye at her. But i'm sure they don't feel good hearing it too.
My point is, even if you have regrets after having children, don't say it to them. It's very hurtful and will leave a scar in their hearts. Children are innocent, after all.
They did not choose to be born, you did.
Jia you jia you!!I used to regret having kids because i have no support from my husband, his family and financially. But when i think positively, i open my eyes to look around and knowing more, i'm blessed and proud mom of 2 active hero.
Let me share my stories,
I'm married while taking my diploma. I pregnant just after that, so basically pregnant while taking my course, my exam, my test. all those cranky and tired journey of pregnancy. Plus not financially stable.. Regret much??
Positive: I worked hard for my baby, i was given moral support by others (not anyone close), i passed my exams with flying colours (which previously i passed SO-SO), i can have minime.
Labour: not a smooth one. Was supposed to go for emergency cser but was left unattended causing my baby to stress and poo inside, baby accidentally ate abit of it. I push baby myself with just a midwife, without any knowledge i just do as much as i can to keep my baby alive. Baby was sent to NICU with tubes, wires around for 2weeks. Tough journey right? No confinement, just daily trip to hospital (hospital become my 2nd home).
2nd Pregnancy. Some might say i'm stupid, got so many ways to protect. I tell you what, no matter how much you tried to protect, if GOD says it's yours, means yours. Who are we to tell/stop GOD from planning all this right? So carry on with the pregnancy.
With #1 cranky, need of loves, i'm working, lesser time, pregnancy tiredness etc. Regret much?? adding on grandma diagnosed to final stage of cancer with certain time frame.
Labour: This time was great! smooth! loving it!
Positive: both my boys are so loving, very close to me (effort of spending the right time with each of them), listen to me (this of course takes time and effort to guide them), every time i'm stress at work, come back to see their face is so BLESSED! I'm not lonely anymore. I have buddy always. Even hub not around me, i have minime to go everywhere with. I worked for them. Adding both kids do fall sick too (madness!), several times send to A&E, but still no Regret in me of having them! Ask me about Me Time? I do have, i have monthly facial, monthly hair treatment, journey home watch movies, etc. It's how you manage your time.
So moral of story, always look at the bright side, think positive. Try to tackle the negativity. Beginning was tough, but slowly you will get your hands on it, it will be simple. Keep yourself with positive peoples and distance away those who are negative. Woman are strong to go through all this. This keep me strong "If my mum can, why i can't? If my mum are strong enough to continue the generation, why i'm weak?!".
But each of us have our own reason and stories. So share it out maybe others can give moral support atleast.
I do have moments where i regret having a baby cos of all the hardships and sacrifices and no support, but i look at my baby and i guess i still love him.
But i will definitely not want another one
.