Been discriminated while pregnant

Jel1992

Member
Hi there, I need some advice here. I have been with the company for years and in fact things had been very smooth. However the moment I told my boss I was pregnant, I was been put on PIP and my bosses attitude towards me is horrendous. I was not given any bonus and they told me it had nothing to do with my pregnancy but mainly due to my performance. And since then, my direct boss has been very judgemental and whatever I do seems wrong and she will jump into conclusion without giving me a chance to explain myself. Does anyone encounter this? What should I do? I have suicidal thoughts and things are just thumbling down :(
 


I do not think reporting to MOM will be easy unless we have solid proof. Some company know how to slip into the grey zone when it comes to this matter. They can easily provide evidence of your performance regardless true or false. Unless you have someone high ranking to back you up. I encountered a few cases where, you know they discriminate but there's nothing we can do as there's no support from any top management. Regardless how well this person perform with excellent 360 feedback and performance review, they got rid of him saying he took photo of company confidential stuff.

Maybe with evidence and witness to back you up proving that after your pregnancy notice, they really treated you badly
 
Before my pregnancy, they gave me cert for being the top of the month and ever since I'm pregnant, everything changed.
 
Before my pregnancy, they gave me cert for being the top of the month and ever since I'm pregnant, everything changed.

Guess still not strong enough, bad performance/attitude etc can be easily proven by the bosses. I am not sure about how it can be brought up to MOM. By any chance you have someone at the high management who is supportive of you?
 
Guess still not strong enough, bad performance/attitude etc can be easily proven by the bosses. I am not sure about how it can be brought up to MOM. By any chance you have someone at the high management who is supportive of you?
Guess still not strong enough, bad performance/attitude etc can be easily proven by the bosses. I am not sure about how it can be brought up to MOM. By any chance you have someone at the high management who is supportive of you?

At this moment I dun think have cos my previous boss transfer to other department le.
 
At this moment I dun think have cos my previous boss transfer to other department le.

Then I guess will be hard. if they fire you after you mentioned your pregnancy, it will be a strong case. but now they are playing the delaying game to either let you tender on your own or find fault to let you go. It is kinda sad when company play such a game. Especially when HR is in with them :mad:

Have you discuss this with your hubby? I know it is difficult and tough, but for your LO, please don't let it affect your health. Finding a job will not be easy in your current condition. If your hubby is supportive and financially able to survive, maybe can find those contract or part time to get through this low period. Be strong, like my wifey always mentioned: those who did this to you will experience it someday, it is either them or their children. Not forgetting a door close is another door/window open. There is no point holding on to a company that does not appreciate their staff. Gambette
 
Then I guess will be hard. if they fire you after you mentioned your pregnancy, it will be a strong case. but now they are playing the delaying game to either let you tender on your own or find fault to let you go. It is kinda sad when company play such a game. Especially when HR is in with them :mad:

Have you discuss this with your hubby? I know it is difficult and tough, but for your LO, please don't let it affect your health. Finding a job will not be easy in your current condition. If your hubby is supportive and financially able to survive, maybe can find those contract or part time to get through this low period. Be strong, like my wifey always mentioned: those who did this to you will experience it someday, it is either them or their children. Not forgetting a door close is another door/window open. There is no point holding on to a company that does not appreciate their staff. Gambette
Thanks! They make me feel so useless and my pregnancy is a sin. I cried everyday and have not been sleeping well since the day they put me on PIP. there are once I was on bedrest leave due to bleeding and severe weight loss but my bosses did not ask me anything and lately she told me she had been tolerating my behavior due to unforeseen Circumstance and I need to set my priority right
 
Thanks! They make me feel so useless and my pregnancy is a sin. I cried everyday and have not been sleeping well since the day they put me on PIP. there are once I was on bedrest leave due to bleeding and severe weight loss but my bosses did not ask me anything and lately she told me she had been tolerating my behavior due to unforeseen Circumstance and I need to set my priority right

Your pregnancy is a gift from the high above to you and your hubby, treasure it. Smack them hard saying your priority is your family and your LO ;) If the company is not supportive of the government initiative on more children and work-life balance, then don't bother to stay (Of cuz best if discuss with your hubby and plan).

However, i guess you can write in a feedback to MOM mentioning your encounter. maybe can try to refer those experience with government initiative, saying you don't feel the company is encouraging when they receive your pregnancy news and not concern about your well-being. Try to phrase it in a way that you are not venting your anger / unhappiness but as a feedback. Maybe this will post as a record in the MOM, when similar case occurred it will raise their awareness. just a thought and hope it helps
 
Hi there, I need some advice here. I have been with the company for years and in fact things had been very smooth. However the moment I told my boss I was pregnant, I was been put on PIP and my bosses attitude towards me is horrendous. I was not given any bonus and they told me it had nothing to do with my pregnancy but mainly due to my performance. And since then, my direct boss has been very judgemental and whatever I do seems wrong and she will jump into conclusion without giving me a chance to explain myself. Does anyone encounter this? What should I do? I have suicidal thoughts and things are just thumbling down :(

yr lady boss not married?
 
Your pregnancy is a gift from the high above to you and your hubby, treasure it. Smack them hard saying your priority is your family and your LO ;) If the company is not supportive of the government initiative on more children and work-life balance, then don't bother to stay (Of cuz best if discuss with your hubby and plan).

However, i guess you can write in a feedback to MOM mentioning your encounter. maybe can try to refer those experience with government initiative, saying you don't feel the company is encouraging when they receive your pregnancy news and not concern about your well-being. Try to phrase it in a way that you are not venting your anger / unhappiness but as a feedback. Maybe this will post as a record in the MOM, when similar case occurred it will raise their awareness. just a thought and hope it helps
I have been discussing with my husband on this and he told me to wait till my maternity end to resign but I told him I don't even know if I can still stay on in the company cos they might sack me anytime. I feel so vulnerable now because there's really nothing I can do and I just need to endure with all these shit and whatever I do seems wrong. I always ask myself what have I done to deserve all these. I went to the website, they require my NRIC I never proceed le cos I scare will get my bosses into trouble
 
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I have been discussing with my husband on this and he told me to wait till my maternity end to resign but I told him I don't even know if I can still stay on in the company cos they might sack me anytime. I feel so vulnerable now because there's really nothing I can do and I just need to endure with all these shit and whatever I do seems wrong. I always ask myself what have I done to deserve all these. I went to the website, they require my NRIC I never proceed le cos I scare will get my bosses into trouble

Well, NRIC is a way to prevent people for providing false report. If you feel that you feel insecure after your pregnancy announcement. Then perhaps it is better to file the report. I have never report before but if there is no need then don't put your boss name. I mean such insecure feeling will affect your work performance and most importantly the well-being of your LO. Since you already set the heart to post here, means you are feeling the impact of the job insecurity.

Anyway you are not alone
https://www.todayonline.com/singapore/losing-job-while-being-pregnant
https://www.tafep.sg/promise-reinstated

Maybe you could try to contact www.tafep.sg?

But as a husband, I do hope that your hubby can see and understand the insecure side of you on this matter. Pregnancy period is not you alone, hubby plays an important role as well to me.
 
sad to say, some companies are just smelly like that. i am fortunate to have found a job in an organization which is pretty much pro-family life, but even so i also face some discrimination from colleagues cos inevitably, my workload has to decrease (my job previously needed me to run ard quite a bit) but i am now 100% deskbound which means that my colleagues have to do more to cover for me. but i just keep quiet and do whatever i have to do, dragging my feet to work is a torture everyday but with a baby coming up, we can't afford to lose my stable income. just have to put up with it i guess.

BUT if you have strong evidence of discrimination, then pls do go ahead and report to MOM.

jiayou! :)
 
Well, NRIC is a way to prevent people for providing false report. If you feel that you feel insecure after your pregnancy announcement. Then perhaps it is better to file the report. I have never report before but if there is no need then don't put your boss name. I mean such insecure feeling will affect your work performance and most importantly the well-being of your LO. Since you already set the heart to post here, means you are feeling the impact of the job insecurity.

Anyway you are not alone
https://www.todayonline.com/singapore/losing-job-while-being-pregnant
https://www.tafep.sg/promise-reinstated

Maybe you could try to contact www.tafep.sg?

But as a husband, I do hope that your hubby can see and understand the insecure side of you on this matter. Pregnancy period is not you alone, hubby plays an important role as well to me.
In fact my husband told me that if something really happen to me, he will support me however I do not want to be a burden to him. I told my dotted line boss that for me who is pregnant to step up is good enough especially and I'm giving my best so they need to be fair to me.
 
In fact my husband told me that if something really happen to me, he will support me however I do not want to be a burden to him. I told my dotted line boss that for me who is pregnant to step up is good enough especially and I'm giving my best so they need to be fair to me.

That's great that your hubby will support you, at least he has your back. Will you be stepping up to file a report to MOM?
 
Hi there, I need some advice here. I have been with the company for years and in fact things had been very smooth. However the moment I told my boss I was pregnant, I was been put on PIP and my bosses attitude towards me is horrendous. I was not given any bonus and they told me it had nothing to do with my pregnancy but mainly due to my performance. And since then, my direct boss has been very judgemental and whatever I do seems wrong and she will jump into conclusion without giving me a chance to explain myself. Does anyone encounter this? What should I do? I have suicidal thoughts and things are just thumbling down :(
After I gave birth to my baby gal last year, my company also did not give me 13th month bonus, they said is not a must. As for the performance bonus I also don't entitled, reason given to me was due to my 16weeks maternity leaves so i don't perform well during my leaves.
 
Dont bother. Just do wat is needed. Time up go hm. Get the 4 months maternity. If things change bettee . Continue. If worse then resign lo
That's what I thought after all working environment also not bad, I won't get to see my boss around too.
 
@eruyps, I agree as long as your working environment not bad can le. most importantly is your family and LO.

as what @Christin3ang mentioned, if gone worse the resign. One door close is another door open, you may get better opportunities
 
Dont bother. Just do wat is needed. Time up go hm. Get the 4 months maternity. If things change bettee . Continue. If worse then resign lo

that's my mindset right now as well. 2.5 mths more for me to go before EDD. trying very hard to hang in there.

hugs to OP, hope you manage to get through this...
 
means under observation or get to learn something?

I'm lucky to have supporting colleagues but i had my share of idiot bosses. one lamented that i took too many leaves. that time my sons fell ill one after another and my mil is sick too. i almost break down and cry.

not easy to balance family and work.

@Jel1992 @p_eppermint jiayou :)

Yes like under observation/probation(again), if they feel you did not improve then they can let you go. Some companies abuse this to get rid of staff they do not like.

I agree with @be-brave that it is not easy to balance family and work, especially with idiot bosses. I guess we just have to take a step back and see what do we really want in life. All of us are like slave for money, especially when LO joins into our life. Nonetheless, this kind of forum or group bring us together to support one another trough the difficult moments. Which is a comfort i guess.

@Jel1992 & @p_eppermint , Gambette
 
thanks @be-brave and @tinkyberz.

my colleagues appear supportive but i know they are lamenting abt my pregnancy and upcoming ML which has caused quite a lot of operational issues and led to a major manpower reshufflement. as such, the workplace has become pretty chaotic with colleagues staging war against each other etc. a lot more office politics as compared to before. i keep quiet bcos firstly, i don't want to make things worse and secondly, i really don't have the energy to bother abt office politics at the moment. but my boss has already made plans to sort of "banish" me/put me in "cold storage" once i go on ML and subsequently return from it. sad thing is, i am due for promotion this year but don't think i'll be able to get it anymore.

well, what to do. these are the sacrifices we have to make when we want to start a family. govt claims to encourage us to make more babies, but with such workplace discrimination, it is really not easy.
 
thanks @be-brave and @tinkyberz.

my colleagues appear supportive but i know they are lamenting abt my pregnancy and upcoming ML which has caused quite a lot of operational issues and led to a major manpower reshufflement. as such, the workplace has become pretty chaotic with colleagues staging war against each other etc. a lot more office politics as compared to before. i keep quiet bcos firstly, i don't want to make things worse and secondly, i really don't have the energy to bother abt office politics at the moment. but my boss has already made plans to sort of "banish" me/put me in "cold storage" once i go on ML and subsequently return from it. sad thing is, i am due for promotion this year but don't think i'll be able to get it anymore.

well, what to do. these are the sacrifices we have to make when we want to start a family. govt claims to encourage us to make more babies, but with such workplace discrimination, it is really not easy.

I can understand where your colleagues are coming from @p_eppermint, It is the uncertainties and additional workload that cause them to be insecure. Most colleagues won't wanna additional work on top of theirs' especially when it is not their work. Can say that most human are selfish/self-centered by nature. It will really be a blessing if we can find an environment with understanding boss and supportive colleagues.

I am uncertain myself as well, though, I am not the one giving birth but my wifey is the one earning more. On top of that, my job is a contract job. Nonetheless, I am still finding an opportunity which allows me to work from home and be a stay home dad. I do not wish to solely depend on my wifey
 
I can understand where your colleagues are coming from @p_eppermint, It is the uncertainties and additional workload that cause them to be insecure. Most colleagues won't wanna additional work on top of theirs' especially when it is not their work. Can say that most human are selfish/self-centered by nature. It will really be a blessing if we can find an environment with understanding boss and supportive colleagues.

I am uncertain myself as well, though, I am not the one giving birth but my wifey is the one earning more. On top of that, my job is a contract job. Nonetheless, I am still finding an opportunity which allows me to work from home and be a stay home dad. I do not wish to solely depend on my wifey

yes, that's why i refrain from getting involved in anything and just report to work daily, do what i need to do, and knock off on the dot. there are a few who have been trying to stir some trouble but i just ignore as much as i can and stay out of their way. i have to admit i am contributing a lot lesser and most of the time i don't have much work to do as i can't help out in the more physical aspect of the job. so perhaps that's why i'm also worried that my promotion will not go through this year.

good luck to you @tinkyberz! hope you manage to find a good opportunity and that all turns out well for you and your wife. :)
 
yes, that's why i refrain from getting involved in anything and just report to work daily, do what i need to do, and knock off on the dot. there are a few who have been trying to stir some trouble but i just ignore as much as i can and stay out of their way. i have to admit i am contributing a lot lesser and most of the time i don't have much work to do as i can't help out in the more physical aspect of the job. so perhaps that's why i'm also worried that my promotion will not go through this year.

good luck to you @tinkyberz! hope you manage to find a good opportunity and that all turns out well for you and your wife. :)

Thank you so much @p_eppermint, I understand it is not easy for you as well. I feel for my wifey, unfortunately, financially wise, she is a lot better than I am. Somehow I feel, i am better at hands-on stuff than office stuff (too much politics and people with good heart tends to get killed first).

Promotion is hard to justify too due to maternity leave, well, at least your LO is your promotion to a mother ;) Let's all try to see the bright side in life. I guess there's nothing we can do much in the workplace, but we can still manage our life. Let's live life the fullest.:p
 
Thanks everyone for your advices. Had a review with my dotted line boss and my direct line boss, was told I had step up so I really hope they won't ask me to go because it's going to be tough for me. I have been telling myself to stay positive but seriously, it's tough and though it's just a job, I never feel so useless before. Then every now and then, my dotted line boss will find a sort of excuses to leave me out of plans which I should be in charge. I tried to defend myself and told her upfront but nothing helps.
 
Thanks everyone for your advices. Had a review with my dotted line boss and my direct line boss, was told I had step up so I really hope they won't ask me to go because it's going to be tough for me. I have been telling myself to stay positive but seriously, it's tough and though it's just a job, I never feel so useless before. Then every now and then, my dotted line boss will find a sort of excuses to leave me out of plans which I should be in charge. I tried to defend myself and told her upfront but nothing helps.

@Jel1992, I guess we cannot expect your bosses to understand what you are going through as they are not married, thus, it is pointless to worry about your job. More importantly is your mental and emotional health, which will affect your LO. On the positive side, maybe they just no wanna you stress up too much and easier for you to hand-over when your EDD is near. Why not just be a silent worker, get things done and go home on time? Or perhaps can consider internal transfer to another department?
 
@Jel1992, I guess we cannot expect your bosses to understand what you are going through as they are not married, thus, it is pointless to worry about your job. More importantly is your mental and emotional health, which will affect your LO. On the positive side, maybe they just no wanna you stress up too much and easier for you to hand-over when your EDD is near. Why not just be a silent worker, get things done and go home on time? Or perhaps can consider internal transfer to another department?
Thanks @tinkyberz I thought of it before however was told to wait till my maternity end cos given my current situation, no one will want me given the fact that I'm going on maternity soon.
 
Thanks @tinkyberz I thought of it before however was told to wait till my maternity end cos given my current situation, no one will want me given the fact that I'm going on maternity soon.

@Jel1992, quite true that your current situation it is tough. Then, perhaps don't fight it, just let things go with the flow till your LO is out healthily. Save your energy and give it a good fight when you are back from your Maternity.
 
Thanks everyone for your advices. Had a review with my dotted line boss and my direct line boss, was told I had step up so I really hope they won't ask me to go because it's going to be tough for me. I have been telling myself to stay positive but seriously, it's tough and though it's just a job, I never feel so useless before. Then every now and then, my dotted line boss will find a sort of excuses to leave me out of plans which I should be in charge. I tried to defend myself and told her upfront but nothing helps.

i'm pretty much in the same situation as you, come to work do nothing much and i honestly have no idea what's happening in my dept anymore. my colleagues no longer keep me in the loop as well. i'm also feeling useless these days, esp when i used to be praised for being hardworking and everyone thought highly of me. well, nothing much we can do right now. like what @tinkyberz mentioned, i'm saving my energy until i'm back from maternity leave, and then i'm gonna fight even harder than before. just rmb we are not useless - in fact we are the true heroes for being able to juggle work with pregnancy no matter how tired it may be. everytime i feel dejected, i remind myself that the LO kicking inside me day in and day out is enough to prove that i am a strong fighter - i actually managed to get through the past few mths of torture (MS, insufficient sleep, aching bones, all the awful symptoms that come with pregnancy) and this is not sth that everyone can go through, what more having to continue working through all of that. don't get too stressed out, you don't want this to affect the baby. just take it easy, focus on baby for now, just do what you need to do at work and rest well at the end of the day. before you know it, your LO will be out and life will change drastically then :)
 
@Jel1992, quite true that your current situation it is tough. Then, perhaps don't fight it, just let things go with the flow till your LO is out healthily. Save your energy and give it a good fight when you are back from your Maternity.
So I'm feeling helpless and handicapped. There's nothing I can do and am worry that they will sack me. I used to be very positive until this happen and my families and friends has been telling me that I look jaded
 
So I'm feeling helpless and handicapped. There's nothing I can do and am worry that they will sack me. I used to be very positive until this happen and my families and friends has been telling me that I look jaded

I totally agree with @p_eppermint, you all are the true heroes for being able to juggle work with pregnancy. I guess the best channel is to contact tafep.sg, maybe they will be able to guide you better. In the mean time, maybe you can try to collect evidence of discrimination? Your hubby and family have your back and your LO is with you. Stay strong as you are not alone facing similar issues and not alone facing it.
 
Just review my PIP and was told they won't extend and it's totally different from what was been conversed because they told me if there's step up, they will extend my PIP. And they are transferring me to a department and told me they will terminate me once my maternity leave end. I recorded the whole conversation. I told them I as a pregnant woman has step up and given my best den its common for pregnant woman to perform poorer prior to their pregnancy and they told me they wan 100%.
 
Just review my PIP and was told they won't extend and it's totally different from what was been conversed because they told me if there's step up, they will extend my PIP. And they are transferring me to a department and told me they will terminate me once my maternity leave end. I recorded the whole conversation. I told them I as a pregnant woman has step up and given my best den its common for pregnant woman to perform poorer prior to their pregnancy and they told me they wan 100%.
Oh my, they really flipping prata. good job in recording, did you try to contact tafep.sg?

lol they want 100% but did they give you 100% of what you have worked hard for?
 
Oh my, they really flipping prata. good job in recording, did you try to contact tafep.sg?

lol they want 100% but did they give you 100% of what you have worked hard for?
Not yet my dad asked me to file a complaint to MOM with all the evidence
 
Right now, I'm trying to find out if a company can terminate me right after my maternity and I don't know if I should consider to change department under my former boss/other role because it's not the company it's my bosses. Now I feel like a worm and parasite
 
Right now, I'm trying to find out if a company can terminate me right after my maternity and I don't know if I should consider to change department under my former boss/other role because it's not the company it's my bosses. Now I feel like a worm and parasite

Have you file to MOM? I understand that TAFEP welcome those who have encountered workplace discrimination to contact them for advice and assistance.

It is not a bad idea to talk to your former boss, maybe he/she is able to accept you into the team. Regardless of what you are not a worm or parasite, just that your current bosses does not bother abut the staff welfare. You are a heroine to stand up against such discrimination. I hope MOM or TAFEP is able to help you through
 
Have you file to MOM? I understand that TAFEP welcome those who have encountered workplace discrimination to contact them for advice and assistance.

It is not a bad idea to talk to your former boss, maybe he/she is able to accept you into the team. Regardless of what you are not a worm or parasite, just that your current bosses does not bother abut the staff welfare. You are a heroine to stand up against such discrimination. I hope MOM or TAFEP is able to help you through

I called TAFEP.. Seems like they are unable to help me. My dad advice me to do straight to MOM so am contemplating to do that most probably next week. I told them my scenario the guy said they cannot do anything and asked me to calm down and find a job after that. My heart sank the moment I heard this
 
Sorry to hear that Tafep just say that. so irresponsible of them, didn't they understand your situation is hard to find a new job? our union is not strong like other countries.

Hope you have a chance to discuss with your ex boss
 
Sorry to hear that Tafep just say that. so irresponsible of them, didn't they understand your situation is hard to find a new job? our union is not strong like other countries.

Hope you have a chance to discuss with your ex boss
I don't know how to put it across to him because he will need to wait till my maternity end. And I don't know how to position it as well..
 
I don't know how to put it across to him because he will need to wait till my maternity end. And I don't know how to position it as well..

I see. Actually you can go with this flow
  1. Period after you mentioned your pregnancy when they PIP you and deny your bonus (it will be good if you have evidence of good feedback from clients / vendor / previous boss
  2. You felt discriminated at work during this period with affected your mental & physical health. Even when you were not well, your boss did not show any concern other then to comment about your priorities. Which make you feel like a slave than an employee
  3. The conversation you have with him before and after PIP review were different. (You had the recording of the PIP review)
Maybe you can read these,
http://www.sgbudgetbabe.com/2018/06/workplace-discrimination-against.html
http://www.motherhood.com.sg/mums-today/mumscorner/item/663-maternity-rights-at-the-workplace
http://www.mom.gov.sg/faq/maternity-leave/can-an-employer-dismiss-a-pregnant-employee-from-her-job
 
hugs to @Jel1992

your dept doesn't seem to be a family friendly dept to me. probably better for u to get another job or transfer out.

honestly, life is not the same after we have little ones. we only have so much time and energy and the little ones take a lot of those from us. with less time and less energy, we have to work more efficiently and sometimes differently.

my cousin is an engineer and love to work in the field. but after 2 boys, she is assigned to desk-bound job. she is sad but the current arrangement allows her to go home on time. so, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

this is a new phase of ur life. why don't u take this time and ur maternity leave to think through what do u want and what r ur options.

u r young, there r many opportunities waiting.

most importantly, ur husband is with u.

hugs hugs....
 
Thank you @be-brave and @tinkyberz! I've approached my previous boss and mentioned to him that I would like to join his department however my current boss told me there's no vacancy available. What my previous boss told me was that since it's still a long way to go as I have yet to give birth, not forgetting the maternity leave and I should wait till I deliver to decide what I want to do. I don't know whether it's a good or bad news because at this moment, I'm very pessimistic.
 
Thank you @be-brave and @tinkyberz! I've approached my previous boss and mentioned to him that I would like to join his department however my current boss told me there's no vacancy available. What my previous boss told me was that since it's still a long way to go as I have yet to give birth, not forgetting the maternity leave and I should wait till I deliver to decide what I want to do. I don't know whether it's a good or bad news because at this moment, I'm very pessimistic.
 
Sorry to hear that Tafep just say that. so irresponsible of them, didn't they understand your situation is hard to find a new job? our union is not strong like other countries.

Hope you have a chance to discuss with your ex boss
I texted my boss and he told me its still early so asked me to relax and wait till my delivery to think through what I really what.. I don't know if it's a good or bad sign
 


@Jel1992, maybe your ex-boss does not want you to change department just for the sake of it. Guess he is more concern about your career progression. Why not just take a moment to plan what you wish to do (in terms of career) after delivery
 

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