I know many of us have problems with MIL. But let me share with you an ultimate one. These have been going on for more than 10 yrs. Only now I have the strength to share this without shedding a single tear .....
MIL cried the first time my DH brought me home. I was sent upstairs to sleep and there they were FIL and MIL crying to beg my then BF to dump me. Reasons?
1) I have changed him - he is not offered Honours candidature in U bcoz I disrupted his attention.
2) I am not good looking enuf for their son
Fast forward the story, DH insisted to stay on with me, we ROM the very same yr I graduated. Worked like crazy, got ourselves a small flat. On our wedding day, MIL sabotaged by not engaging a makeup person for me despite insisting on doing so. If not for DH and my family, I would have called off the damn thing!
For 7 yrs, I had been putting up with their cold treatments and yet hiding this from my family. I din wan my family to worry about me.
We had fertility problem but was very lucky to be successful first trial after IVF. No congrats from them but I am perfectly ok with tat.
Then I experienced pregnancy complications during my 5th month of pregnancy. Bedridden in hospital for about 3 mths without assurance of baby survival - DH called and informed her. Her reply? Dun force it lah, if the baby is not yours, there's nothing you can do.
Thereafter, not a single call from her or family for the entire 3 mths stay. Even a casual fren wld have send their regards right? My mom had to take 6 hrs train ride to S'pore thru and fro twice a week to take care of me...
I was so pissed that I vowed my child will not own greet them as grandparents! Even DH dared not say anything.
When the child was born, he was in ICU for 2 mths. MIL and FIL came down from M'sia to visit. FIL wanted to offer financial help but was stopped by MIL. I hd to admit, I din welcome their visit. I dun wan to be hypocrite, I am human, I was not happy with the way they treat me or the baby!
How can anyone with such low EQ existed? My son was in ICU... Every moment is a survival battle for him. He is so small and fragile. His life is so fragile! Everyday DH and I are praying for good news of his progress. And what came out of my MIL mouth was how scary my child looked!!! All these garbage from someone who shares the same status as me - A MOTHER!!!!
She dotes to her two younger sons. Sort of like gave up on hubby liao. But hubby and I decided let them be. I dun need their love, I dun need their acceptance, I dun need their financial support.
All my focus is to be a good wife and mom to my DH and child. I am such a happier person now after I changed my focus. Instead of being unhappy by being angry with them, y not show them how happy my life can be. It is their lost for not being included in the happy picture due to their doings.
Now, I treat them like cordial frens. Once in a while we will visit them, treat them dinners etc. Of course, my son will great them. But they are never close to their only grandchild. Not having the chance to be part of his growing up process. They can only envy the bonding my child has with my family. They can claim no credit of my child's upbringing - all being the result of their doings.
MIL cried the first time my DH brought me home. I was sent upstairs to sleep and there they were FIL and MIL crying to beg my then BF to dump me. Reasons?
1) I have changed him - he is not offered Honours candidature in U bcoz I disrupted his attention.
2) I am not good looking enuf for their son
Fast forward the story, DH insisted to stay on with me, we ROM the very same yr I graduated. Worked like crazy, got ourselves a small flat. On our wedding day, MIL sabotaged by not engaging a makeup person for me despite insisting on doing so. If not for DH and my family, I would have called off the damn thing!
For 7 yrs, I had been putting up with their cold treatments and yet hiding this from my family. I din wan my family to worry about me.
We had fertility problem but was very lucky to be successful first trial after IVF. No congrats from them but I am perfectly ok with tat.
Then I experienced pregnancy complications during my 5th month of pregnancy. Bedridden in hospital for about 3 mths without assurance of baby survival - DH called and informed her. Her reply? Dun force it lah, if the baby is not yours, there's nothing you can do.
Thereafter, not a single call from her or family for the entire 3 mths stay. Even a casual fren wld have send their regards right? My mom had to take 6 hrs train ride to S'pore thru and fro twice a week to take care of me...
I was so pissed that I vowed my child will not own greet them as grandparents! Even DH dared not say anything.
When the child was born, he was in ICU for 2 mths. MIL and FIL came down from M'sia to visit. FIL wanted to offer financial help but was stopped by MIL. I hd to admit, I din welcome their visit. I dun wan to be hypocrite, I am human, I was not happy with the way they treat me or the baby!
How can anyone with such low EQ existed? My son was in ICU... Every moment is a survival battle for him. He is so small and fragile. His life is so fragile! Everyday DH and I are praying for good news of his progress. And what came out of my MIL mouth was how scary my child looked!!! All these garbage from someone who shares the same status as me - A MOTHER!!!!
She dotes to her two younger sons. Sort of like gave up on hubby liao. But hubby and I decided let them be. I dun need their love, I dun need their acceptance, I dun need their financial support.
All my focus is to be a good wife and mom to my DH and child. I am such a happier person now after I changed my focus. Instead of being unhappy by being angry with them, y not show them how happy my life can be. It is their lost for not being included in the happy picture due to their doings.
Now, I treat them like cordial frens. Once in a while we will visit them, treat them dinners etc. Of course, my son will great them. But they are never close to their only grandchild. Not having the chance to be part of his growing up process. They can only envy the bonding my child has with my family. They can claim no credit of my child's upbringing - all being the result of their doings.