ecym
Well-Known Member
hope this reply is not too late for you.
Yes its ok to do massage, i did so when i am still spotting...if you need massage lady you can call my ML, mdm idah at 94361463...she is very understanding...
Support Group - Mid Term Termination Of Pregnancy
- Thread starter tarynn
- Start date
Yes its ok to do massage, i did so when i am still spotting...if you need massage lady you can call my ML, mdm idah at 94361463...she is very understanding...
ecym
Well-Known Member
I am sorry you feel this low... you can feel very low when you are nearing the significant dates ... it takes time to heal... have a talk with your partner, i am sure he is as hurting as you are but guys tend not to show their hurt...look to the brighter side...you can only see your rainbow baby only when you are living positively...
princess10
New Member
Hi, i had a turner syndrome pregnancy in 2013 and NT scan showed 10.1mm. Had to do D/C as foetus died inside at 12 weeks
ltzjess3
New Member
Hi ladies, it really comforting that there is a support group with lots of information and experience shared here. Today was a devastating day for me after my consultation at TCM with 2nd opinion on my positive harmony test for T21 was announced to me last friday. Praying for a miracle to happen somehow and holding on the very thin fine string of 1% false negative and I do really hope and pray that nothing can be worse after my gync detection of hygroma on the baby neck last week. But however, today, when I saw from the monitor screen that the TCM doctor had detected 2 major markers, a hole in the heart and the bowel area has white patch which he told me the situation for my baby was really really Bad. My heart sank! From that moment, I know, the decision has been set for me even before I could even decide further. Now, I only can pray that my child will move on and may be angels be with her and she will always be remembered in my heart. Like my gync shared, be brave! I really hope I can do so.
char-mee
Active Member
I finally did the painful decision to terminate at 24 weeks. Bb was all clear for Verifi blood test and 20 weeks detailed scan showed some issues but it didn't sound life threatening. It was on my 23rd week scan the fetal cardiologist diagnosed my bb has multiple heart defects, which included interrupted aortic arch, a clear association with digeorge syndrome. Meaning there's a chromosome 22 deletion which is not detected in my blood test. While I had no time to do an amnio test 2 cfm, Bb stomach couldn't be spotted easily with my amnio fluid on the high side. And with some other out of normal issues, it's pretty painful to know bb will suffer through major surgeries & likely LT issues.
To @ltzjess3 and all ladies here who'd been through, I suppose it has been one of the most difficult decisions in life. Let's bless the little ones that they are moving off to better places and a better lives.
To @ltzjess3 and all ladies here who'd been through, I suppose it has been one of the most difficult decisions in life. Let's bless the little ones that they are moving off to better places and a better lives.
ltzjess3
New Member
Thanks char-mee, I hope you will find strength within you.
I had my MTPT concluded on 25/01. My emotion, sadness and guilty had defeated me totally and left me miserable crying all the way. I only know that my mental, emotion and breakdown was totally out. My Ang never see me like that for the last 18 years since he knew me. Doctor prescribe me with sleeping pills to knock me out during night time. Nurses were also very 'caution' on me. Now. I don't know how to continue my story from here. I only know that the ache, pain and grieves were too great and huge for me to handle, to digest, to understand as I'm the involved party. Others are lookers.
My only regrets was I'm was not able to take a look at my little girl as she 'refuse' for natural expulsion after 14 pills had been inserted. My gync decision was not to wait any further as the side effect of this pills create 'fever' had rose passes 38.5 degree.
I prayed for her forgiveness, I prayed that she will be picked up by Angel to heaven and one day i will see her again. Repeated my Sorry and sorry, mummy always love you till I enter into the OT.
Glad that I'm able to release my heartaches, pain and share it with my Ang for which I had made him cried twice with me. But those pains are real unbearable. I'm really thankful and appreciate that he took a week leave to accompany me, drive me to nearby places for a stroll to divert my attention than copping at home. If this time round without him, I would not able to 'stand up' and nurse back my emotion. Otherwise, I would have gone bonkers.
To my little girl, you would not be forgotten. <quote> If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together.... There is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you. Remember, Mummy will always love you, my Arwen.
I had my MTPT concluded on 25/01. My emotion, sadness and guilty had defeated me totally and left me miserable crying all the way. I only know that my mental, emotion and breakdown was totally out. My Ang never see me like that for the last 18 years since he knew me. Doctor prescribe me with sleeping pills to knock me out during night time. Nurses were also very 'caution' on me. Now. I don't know how to continue my story from here. I only know that the ache, pain and grieves were too great and huge for me to handle, to digest, to understand as I'm the involved party. Others are lookers.
My only regrets was I'm was not able to take a look at my little girl as she 'refuse' for natural expulsion after 14 pills had been inserted. My gync decision was not to wait any further as the side effect of this pills create 'fever' had rose passes 38.5 degree.
I prayed for her forgiveness, I prayed that she will be picked up by Angel to heaven and one day i will see her again. Repeated my Sorry and sorry, mummy always love you till I enter into the OT.
Glad that I'm able to release my heartaches, pain and share it with my Ang for which I had made him cried twice with me. But those pains are real unbearable. I'm really thankful and appreciate that he took a week leave to accompany me, drive me to nearby places for a stroll to divert my attention than copping at home. If this time round without him, I would not able to 'stand up' and nurse back my emotion. Otherwise, I would have gone bonkers.
To my little girl, you would not be forgotten. <quote> If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together.... There is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you. Remember, Mummy will always love you, my Arwen.
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char-mee
Active Member
Thanks. Bb was delivered yday, I could feel his movements as I was pushing him out. He was still breathing as the Doc delivered him.
Hubby didn't want me to see as it may hv be too hard on me. I didn't cry whole of yday but this morning the loss got into me.
The whole episode of termination wasn't pleasant. Maybe I was a FTM, the contractions were unbearable, especially the last few hours and I begged for epidural. Water bag didn't burst too, and it prolonged the contractions.
I went to the temple the day of admission, praying peace and better life for the little one.
Ltzjess3, was she your first child? Whatever it may be, let's wish well for our LOs, that they will be well wherever they are.
Hubby didn't want me to see as it may hv be too hard on me. I didn't cry whole of yday but this morning the loss got into me.
The whole episode of termination wasn't pleasant. Maybe I was a FTM, the contractions were unbearable, especially the last few hours and I begged for epidural. Water bag didn't burst too, and it prolonged the contractions.
I went to the temple the day of admission, praying peace and better life for the little one.
Ltzjess3, was she your first child? Whatever it may be, let's wish well for our LOs, that they will be well wherever they are.
PositiveLi
Member
Hello
I stumbled upon this page as I am searching to prepare myself for a mid term termination probably due to Down Syndrome and other complexities. This child means a lot to use and it is indeed sad to have to go through this.
Is delivery normally within a day as the hospital claimed it may stretch to 3 days.
As it would be a sad and possibly traumatic experience, how may I best prepare for the procedure/delivery at KKH?
I hope to go through without strangers' interruptions and hope not to need to explain to anyone I meet on my purpose there after the procedure.
2 weeks or 1 month confinement?
Ovulation between 2 and 3 weeks after the abortion if we want to try for a healthy child?
I stumbled upon this page as I am searching to prepare myself for a mid term termination probably due to Down Syndrome and other complexities. This child means a lot to use and it is indeed sad to have to go through this.
Is delivery normally within a day as the hospital claimed it may stretch to 3 days.
As it would be a sad and possibly traumatic experience, how may I best prepare for the procedure/delivery at KKH?
I hope to go through without strangers' interruptions and hope not to need to explain to anyone I meet on my purpose there after the procedure.
2 weeks or 1 month confinement?
Ovulation between 2 and 3 weeks after the abortion if we want to try for a healthy child?
char-mee
Active Member
Sorry to hear that you have to go through this. You will be undergoing induced labor so it depends how long your contractions take. I was admitted Sat 3pm, Bb delivered on Sun 3pm and was discharged Monday noon. Some ladies take longer I heard.
I did 2 weeks confinement and now in my 3rd week to slowly do things as normal like drink plain water and normal food.
While you may be anxious to try again, 2 to 3 weeks after delivery is abit too ambitious. I am still bleeding coz clearing lochia and had to wait for my tear (had stitches) to heal. Most would recommend after next menstrual period, as we wouldn't know when we ovulate.
Take care and rest well.
PositiveLi
Member
Thank you char-mee for sharing, posting and giving your support.
I currently elect not to see whilst my DH wishes to but he may change his mind and so may I. We are hoping for a miracle somehow. I am praying that somehow the amnio comes back negative and some other option is presented.
As I read through this thread, I realise that I am not alone and that there are people in Singapore who have been through the experience too.
Perhaps as Asians, most do not share with friends and colleagues. Or could it be that I have not mixed with enough people to convince myself that my experience is not really unique and that time will heal all wounds. Not healthy to keep the grief within me.
If I have to go through the abortion, I hope I will be able to recover mentally so that I may be strong for my partner to try for another asap. I read that induced labour can ovulate in 2-3weeks before menstruation compared with childbirth which will be a few months after breastfeeding stops.
I am above 40 without children so not much time or eggs left.
I pray GOD (even as a free thinker) to guide and help those in a similar situation and please GOD, remember to bless us too.
I currently elect not to see whilst my DH wishes to but he may change his mind and so may I. We are hoping for a miracle somehow. I am praying that somehow the amnio comes back negative and some other option is presented.
As I read through this thread, I realise that I am not alone and that there are people in Singapore who have been through the experience too.
Perhaps as Asians, most do not share with friends and colleagues. Or could it be that I have not mixed with enough people to convince myself that my experience is not really unique and that time will heal all wounds. Not healthy to keep the grief within me.
If I have to go through the abortion, I hope I will be able to recover mentally so that I may be strong for my partner to try for another asap. I read that induced labour can ovulate in 2-3weeks before menstruation compared with childbirth which will be a few months after breastfeeding stops.
I am above 40 without children so not much time or eggs left.
I pray GOD (even as a free thinker) to guide and help those in a similar situation and please GOD, remember to bless us too.
Samangelboy
New Member
I'm 40s too, lost my angel boy last sept due to Down syndrome
I wish I can have a healthy baby again, as the biological clock is ticking ...
I wish I can have a healthy baby again, as the biological clock is ticking ...
PositiveLi
Member
Trust you will have a healthy baby with the one you love and who loves you.
After this down, I refuse to allow another if it was up to me. Where got to unlucky?
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char-mee
Active Member
Well, if you hadn't gotten your amnio results yet, why did your doc say DS? A number of friends were told their bb had DS at the Oscar tests, but fortunately turned out negative at amnio or harmony tests.
Stay hopeful. I'm reaching 40 soon so it was like all hopes of having my own kid was dashed. I wonder was it coz I conceived immediately after a miscarriage, my body was in best shape. I met my doc today who told me to try again after 2 menstrual cycles.
PositiveLi
Member
I am more inclined DS cause Panorama, NTScan already pointing to DS. Then the cardiac results just before ammio really is getting difficult to bet it is not DS.
Whilst amnio results are another 8+ days away, I prepare for the worst but hope for the best.
You are strong and should keep trying.
2 months is what the doctors recommend but I read online after induced, ovulation can happen between 2w and 3w.
If lucky get pregnant, 2016 can still be FTM.
char-mee
Active Member
Honestly I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to try again. In 9 years of ttc, i Did 2 IUIs, 2 ivfs, of which resulted in 2 miscarriages. The most recent pregnancy was natural but unfortunately ended mid term.
Can't help but wonder am I not fated to be a mother? I feel so alone most times, especially after seeing all my friends popping babies in breeze. I read that the chances of chromosomal issues are like one in few thousands, yet it happens to us.
Well, I guess we just have to pick up ourselve. Tough but have to.
PositiveLi
Member
Alamak...
You and I are similar la.
A decade TTC naturally. Past 3 years got more aggressive and had 2 1st trimester miscarriages. In between 1 failed IVF which I felt was waste of money.
Sigh... hopefully you start trying and give birth to a healthy child and I follow soon after since so similar.
You and I are similar la.
A decade TTC naturally. Past 3 years got more aggressive and had 2 1st trimester miscarriages. In between 1 failed IVF which I felt was waste of money.
Sigh... hopefully you start trying and give birth to a healthy child and I follow soon after since so similar.
Hi I honestly think u shouldn't think so much till amnio results out . If u plan to abort, due to age and previous chromosome abnormality, u can consider going overseas for IVF with PGD. Hard to do in sg due to long process need to apply to MOH to get approval etc but other countries will do it readily ..
ltzjess3
New Member
char-mee, dont think it in this way.
Both yourself and positiveLi will have a rainbow baby coming to your arms. Stay strong!
At times, I also had thoughts that did I get pregnant too fast after my last miscarriage in July 2015 (8 wks due to no heartbeat) and hence, it leads to my recent MTPT.
ltzjess3
New Member
Return back to work this week, and I have to face three pregnant ladies in my office, especially one of my colleague due date was just three weeks away from mine.
Sad moments will just suddenly interrupt me, wonder that will be me if this unfortunate event does not occurs to me.
Sad moments will just suddenly interrupt me, wonder that will be me if this unfortunate event does not occurs to me.
PositiveLi
Member
Still can try for 2016 BFP
PositiveLi
Member
By now we realise getting pregnant is an achievement on its own. No such thing as too fast. After getting pregnant, it is the cells and chromosomes that work their magic.
Life is a journey and it seems the start and end of some journeys occur much earlier.
If the plan is made, just keep trying.
char-mee
Active Member
Actually I'm the same. I got pregnant immediately after my miscarriage in early August. I read in other countries cases there are similar instances but no proper empirical evidence.
I'm going back to work next week and I actually dread having to explain. And gained extra kg over 6 months, wonder how to lose it.
ltzjess3
New Member
This round, I have plan to take it slow to heal my body first. To TTC again, I have read that in chinese medical, they recommend six months after to allow medications to 'clear up' when western medical and my gync mentioned two months after.
Don't worry about the explanation. So far, at my work place, my colleagues and bosses have been keeping mute about it (only approach me and ask whether am I ok now) so I don't think they will ask you the details if they are sensible enough.
I lose 4kg over the three weeks rest even I did a two weeks plus confinement. Now, I refrain myself from taking junk foods and cold drinks and plans to have some light exercise at a later stage. So don't worry about the weight gain. Moving forward, let's stay on a healthy path.
char-mee
Active Member
Well will take it a day as it comes. Given that with those miscarriages and mid term loss, my 100% failure seems to point to me having chromosomal defects in my embryos. No matter how many times I try to get pregnant, bound to face such issues again.
I know we can try ivf with pgd, does anyone have a good contact? Or shd I consider donor eggs
I know we can try ivf with pgd, does anyone have a good contact? Or shd I consider donor eggs
PositiveLi
Member
Wah, dun say 100% failure. Just not successful yet. You should discuss with your doctor.
I will probably do a chromosome test at KKH ADC if this round does not proceed.
Hiaz
ltzjess3
New Member
For the chromosome test at KKH, may I know what is the procedure and details?
And does anyone knows was there any real case example (in Singapore, not overseas) of the pregnancy being terminated due to chromosome abnormalities and successful in the next pregnancy?
Char-mee, please don't think in this way. When there is a will, there's a way. Nothing is impossible. When the time is ripe, it will be your turn. Fighting!!
mumtobe0813
Member
Hi ltzjess,
Husband and I went through the chromosome test after we lost my first one at week 15plus due to brain filled with fluid. Basically, the test need the blood from husband and wife. The report will come back in 2weeks time. The report will check our dna contain of any chromosome disorder.
ltzjess3
New Member
Thank you for the information. And yes, I will like to go through the chromosome test before any further decision to be made.
cowmoomoo
Active Member
I went through IvF and successfully got a triplets. Just when j thought everything is smooth sailing, as I hit my week 19, doctor says that the twins do not have heart beat. 
The twins are still in me, need to prevent cervix to open. And hoping my singleton baby can continue to grow healthily now.
The twins are still in me, need to prevent cervix to open. And hoping my singleton baby can continue to grow healthily now.
ltzjess3
New Member
I went through IvF and successfully got a triplets. Just when j thought everything is smooth sailing, as I hit my week 19, doctor says that the twins do not have heart beat.
The twins are still in me, need to prevent cervix to open. And hoping my singleton baby can continue to grow healthily now.
Jia you...you can do it.
Have lots of bed rests too
char-mee
Active Member
Thanks. You are indeed very positive. Should learn from you.
Apart from chromosomal tests on the couple, there are genetics mutation after fertilisation which we can't prevent. This is why miscarriages and MTPT happens. Unfortunately it's unexplainable...
Nevertheless will think hard the next course. Continue to try, do some tests, donor eggs, ivf pgd or adoption.
char-mee
Active Member
I have 5 friends who told me about their similar losses after they heard about what happened to me. All managed to have healthy children thereafter. So we all stand a chance.
Just a matter of having the courage to stand up again.
char-mee
Active Member
Stay hopeful and pray for your surviving bb. I know of 2 colleagues with one twin who didn't survive but the other twin fought all the way.I went through IvF and successfully got a triplets. Just when j thought everything is smooth sailing, as I hit my week 19, doctor says that the twins do not have heart beat.
The twins are still in me, need to prevent cervix to open. And hoping my singleton baby can continue to grow healthily now.
Samangelboy
New Member
True. Whenever I see the expectant mummy , especially ppl I know, I feel extraordinarily sad and "unhappy"...
Why this happened to me... Sob.
MTTP is not an easy process and the "hurt" in emotional will b more permanent. As we delivered our angel boy/gal. Sob sob
Why this happened to me... Sob.
MTTP is not an easy process and the "hurt" in emotional will b more permanent. As we delivered our angel boy/gal. Sob sob
PositiveLi
Member
Singapore is not without compassion. But as Asians, most do not share such experiences with people around us as it is too personal and of course we rather not need to share with people with smooth pregnancy.
Makes us feel alone without the anonymity if this and similar forums as an outlet.
To all of us who have faced or facing MTPT, keep the spirits up and stay positive.
No one can fault you so long as you keep trying.
Makes us feel alone without the anonymity if this and similar forums as an outlet.
To all of us who have faced or facing MTPT, keep the spirits up and stay positive.
No one can fault you so long as you keep trying.
char-mee
Active Member
Sorry to hear about your loss. Did doc give you pill to stop milk production? My doc said it'll go off. I'm past 1 month since delivery, my breasts still quite big but not sore anymore.
I took a pill right after the procedure. Breast is still sore and firm for a few weeks, it subsided after a month or so.
Maybe you could monitor first? it's normal to feel tightness after the delivery.
buttercup3007
New Member
Hi, I am in my early 40s and had a MTPT about 2 weeks ago. 18-wk baby boy diagnosed with DS and heart defects. The experience was heartbreaking and traumatic and I'm still trying to deal with the loss. Just gotten over the pain of breast engorgement and body is slowly healing i suppose. But the heart and mind will take longer to heal. I miss my angel boy every day, every minute eventho i know he is in God's loving hands.
char-mee
Active Member
Sorry to hear about your loss. Bb is in a better place... take care.
pls be strong & don't lose hope. take care..
Samangelboy
New Member
Please b strong buttercup3007.
I lost my angel boy at wk20 due to DS too . *sob*
Lately I'm a bit better, if I don't go and "touch" the lock memory/pain.
But if I see any posting of pregnancy and how fetus is growing, tears will automatically drop.
Our angel baby will always stay in our heart forever.
Fighting every angel's Mommy.
I lost my angel boy at wk20 due to DS too . *sob*
Lately I'm a bit better, if I don't go and "touch" the lock memory/pain.
But if I see any posting of pregnancy and how fetus is growing, tears will automatically drop.
Our angel baby will always stay in our heart forever.
Fighting every angel's Mommy.
buttercup3007
New Member
Sorry to hear about your loss Samangelboy. I finally stopped crying for 1-2 days but sorting out paperwork related to the pregnancy brought on the tears again. After such a heartbreaking experience, how do some ladies find the will and courage to try again? Are you planning to try again? The desire for a child remains strong, but the fear of another setback is very real too.
buttercup3007
New Member
hi Lynn, my engorgement and leaking stopped 1.5 wks after induced delivery. Took the pill for 2 days and used cold cabbage for some relief. Hope you're feeling better now.
char-mee
Active Member
Personally for me, it's the love for your DH that makes you willing to be intimate again. Ttc probably need couple of months, while being intimate is an expression of love n appreciation of our other half. After the loss of our LO, relationship grew stronger as we try our best to get out of this together. Just a hug or kiss really brings out the warmth.
I actually felt better recently, but womb and vaginal still has this on and off pain, but gynae says its normal.
char-mee
Active Member
You'll recover and get better, no worries.
char-mee
Active Member
U may be having your period, which happens 3-4 weeks after the termination. Best is get your gynae to cm it's not haemorrhage and not too heavy throughout.
