Support Group - Mid Term Termination Of Pregnancy
- Thread starter tarynn
- Start date
ecym
Well-Known Member
hi dear, this could be the difficult period for you and your hubby. Stay strong and look ahead (I know its tough)... shout if you need any help...
alimgirl
Member
Hi dear I just delivered on 8th April at 7.22pm. It was a baby boy. In total I needed 5 tablets and my labour was nearly 5 hours. I had fear that I may end up going for 2nd protocol the next day or vacumming my baby out in parts. I stay in hospital for one night only. I did mine at parkway east hospital. Now I am on one month mc. All in all the week was very stressful emotional for both of us. Now I am at my parrnts place as they do not want me to be alone at my place. My boy was buried on the very next day 9th april and I took some pictures of him which I look at every now and then. He was looking very adorable and sleeping peacefully.
Dear ladies,
Reading through ur stories made me cry... This Sunday will be my 31st birthday and I'm currently 20weeks 6days into my 3rd pregnancy. I have a girl & boy 4 & 2+ Yrs old.
During my Oscar test, the result came out that I'm at high risk of 1:12 for a DS baby. So went on to do an amino test during week 16 and came back that the result is normal with no extra chromosomes found on week 18. Felt relief for awhile until my detailed scan on 9th April. Organs, limbs everything ok but was told she has short nasal bone, small head circumference & receding chin.
Specialist, Dr TC Chang reported to my gynae that it may be Pierre-Robin syndrome. I've done some research & found out that it may affect baby's breathing plus other problems may arise on later stage too... ='<
I couldn't make up my mind to keep or terminate this pregnancy as gynae claims that it's borderline readings.. My husband ask me to opt for abortion. I'm hoping for miracles to happen but I doubt so, after comparing her ultrasound pics with my previous 2. I really can't see her chin. Really feeling heavy hearted...
Thinking of having to go through labour pain and getting nothing back just made me cry more.
Reading through ur stories made me cry... This Sunday will be my 31st birthday and I'm currently 20weeks 6days into my 3rd pregnancy. I have a girl & boy 4 & 2+ Yrs old.
During my Oscar test, the result came out that I'm at high risk of 1:12 for a DS baby. So went on to do an amino test during week 16 and came back that the result is normal with no extra chromosomes found on week 18. Felt relief for awhile until my detailed scan on 9th April. Organs, limbs everything ok but was told she has short nasal bone, small head circumference & receding chin.
Specialist, Dr TC Chang reported to my gynae that it may be Pierre-Robin syndrome. I've done some research & found out that it may affect baby's breathing plus other problems may arise on later stage too... ='<
I couldn't make up my mind to keep or terminate this pregnancy as gynae claims that it's borderline readings.. My husband ask me to opt for abortion. I'm hoping for miracles to happen but I doubt so, after comparing her ultrasound pics with my previous 2. I really can't see her chin. Really feeling heavy hearted...
Thinking of having to go through labour pain and getting nothing back just made me cry more.
ecym
Well-Known Member
hi babykady, I am sorry to hear about your situation. If you have not made up your mind if you are going to keep this girl or not, maybe you can ask for second opinion elsewhere or asked your gynae to refer you to a dr in KKH where you may able to gain more information about his syndrome and how it has affected the babies?
Other considerations are unique to each family but these are important factors.. eg financial status, well-being of your two living children, social status, religion
once you have gathered all your sensible thoughts, it will be easier to make a decision. and once you have made the decision, there is no turning back any more...
Other considerations are unique to each family but these are important factors.. eg financial status, well-being of your two living children, social status, religion
once you have gathered all your sensible thoughts, it will be easier to make a decision. and once you have made the decision, there is no turning back any more...
Hi ecym,
Think I've no time for 2nd opinion.. I'm close to 21weeks now & latest termination has to be done before 24weeks thus I need to make a decision by next week. I'm thinking I should be feeling ok since I still have 2normal kids but will I really be ok after that??
Guess only those that have been through this process will know.
Think I've no time for 2nd opinion.. I'm close to 21weeks now & latest termination has to be done before 24weeks thus I need to make a decision by next week. I'm thinking I should be feeling ok since I still have 2normal kids but will I really be ok after that??
Guess only those that have been through this process will know.
ecym
Well-Known Member
will you be doing your MTPT at TMC? TMC does not arrange for cremation, we called Singapore Funeral Services and they helped us to collect and send for cremation. You pay for the cremating for $50+ and another $50 for the urn to hold the ashes...
ecym
Well-Known Member
yes you still have time to seek second opinion...your gynae could help you to secure the earliest available slot at KKH to see a dr. We also have been shuffling around TMC and KKH in the 20 to 21 weeks...
different mothers will have different grieving period and also different ways of grieving, and so far each MTPT case that i have heard in this thread is so unique BUT equally heart breaking... as I tell my husband every time, you will always feel the pain of losing this child, hopefully it will feel less painful each time you mention about this lost child...
ecym
Well-Known Member
only pump to release the fullness... if you do not have pump, use hands to squeeze out the breast milk until you feel relieved...
alimgirl
Member
I did that just now and feel better now.
ecym
Well-Known Member
alimgirl
Member
Hi Mummies,
very sorry to find all of you here..
We finally went ahead with the termination at 15 weeks due to bad fetal scan results during the 12 weeks oscar scan and CVS.
The results confirmed a pure turner Syndrome.
As the pregnancy already passed 14 weeks while we waited for the detailed CVS results, we were told the only and safest method in Singapore for termination is to go thru an induced labour. This was indeed a traumatizing and painful and long procedure. As i also have a cyst, i have requested my gynae to remove the cyst upon the termination. Not certain if i were strong enough to handle two procedure at one go, i still went ahead.
It seemed like grief and sadness had not caught up with me until i was discharged.
Discharged and now back home on one month hospitalization leave, i realised i started feeling sense of guilt and upset suddenly for no reason. It was not regret as we thought our decision was the "better of both evils". We didn't want to see our baby girl suffer if we carried her to term.
i know it takes time to grief...I miss my baby girl...every night before i sleep and times when i just think, the flashback recurs and tears just well up...i even dreamt of losing my baby in my sleep...the last thing i want to do is to slip into a depression.
Hoping to find solace here and provide any information to anyone who may need to go through this difficult period as we did.
~~God bless and may the strength be with all of you~~
** Also, taking this chance to thank my wonderful hubby for accompanying me through this difficult period of our lives. You have done everything you could - I love you (if you come across this thread <3 <3 <3 ).
very sorry to find all of you here..
We finally went ahead with the termination at 15 weeks due to bad fetal scan results during the 12 weeks oscar scan and CVS.
The results confirmed a pure turner Syndrome.
As the pregnancy already passed 14 weeks while we waited for the detailed CVS results, we were told the only and safest method in Singapore for termination is to go thru an induced labour. This was indeed a traumatizing and painful and long procedure. As i also have a cyst, i have requested my gynae to remove the cyst upon the termination. Not certain if i were strong enough to handle two procedure at one go, i still went ahead.
It seemed like grief and sadness had not caught up with me until i was discharged.
Discharged and now back home on one month hospitalization leave, i realised i started feeling sense of guilt and upset suddenly for no reason. It was not regret as we thought our decision was the "better of both evils". We didn't want to see our baby girl suffer if we carried her to term.
i know it takes time to grief...I miss my baby girl...every night before i sleep and times when i just think, the flashback recurs and tears just well up...i even dreamt of losing my baby in my sleep...the last thing i want to do is to slip into a depression.
Hoping to find solace here and provide any information to anyone who may need to go through this difficult period as we did.
~~God bless and may the strength be with all of you~~
** Also, taking this chance to thank my wonderful hubby for accompanying me through this difficult period of our lives. You have done everything you could - I love you (if you come across this thread <3 <3 <3 ).
MistyCloud
Active Member
Hey porky_pig, hugs. Can't say I understand what you're going through but you did the best for your daughter. Take care and rest well.
ecym
Well-Known Member
Hi ecym and MistyCloud,
thanks for the kind words and support as we all try to overcome these difficult times.
Sharing below link which i thought could be helpful:
http://aheartbreakingchoice.net/
thanks for the kind words and support as we all try to overcome these difficult times.
Sharing below link which i thought could be helpful:
http://aheartbreakingchoice.net/
ecym
Well-Known Member
Yes the first week is awful...hand in there... get some cabbage leaves to relieve the engorgement...
Anybody can advise if the leaking/nipple discharge will stop without prescription of medication..when will this stop 
also noticed the sudden increased Lochia discharge almost week after termination.. ..fresh blood though it still doesnt soak up more than one pad a day. wonder if its due to the confinement food like vinegar or rice wine that supposedly help rid off "dirty" blood .....Mum also suggest to drink DOM everyday ..could it be due to this as well?
also noticed the sudden increased Lochia discharge almost week after termination.. ..fresh blood though it still doesnt soak up more than one pad a day. wonder if its due to the confinement food like vinegar or rice wine that supposedly help rid off "dirty" blood .....Mum also suggest to drink DOM everyday ..could it be due to this as well?
toto_mommy
Member
Hi
Just take care and have lots of bed rest for now. Some people like me have prolonged bleeding which lasts more than 2 weeks. As long as you are not anaemic it should be ok (you can gauge by checking your palms and fingernails---if they look pale and hardly pinkish then you should see a doctor).
As for engorgement, you can ask doctor to prescribe medication to stop lactation. That will stop milk flow in less than 24hrs.
Hope this helps.
Just take care and have lots of bed rest for now. Some people like me have prolonged bleeding which lasts more than 2 weeks. As long as you are not anaemic it should be ok (you can gauge by checking your palms and fingernails---if they look pale and hardly pinkish then you should see a doctor).
As for engorgement, you can ask doctor to prescribe medication to stop lactation. That will stop milk flow in less than 24hrs.
Hope this helps.
toto_mommy
Member
Hi porky_pig
I hope you are recovering well. The best way to heal the pain of losing a child is to have another one. Don't give up, yeah?
I hope you are recovering well. The best way to heal the pain of losing a child is to have another one. Don't give up, yeah?
donchelsabb
Member
I totally agree with toto mummy!
We should pick ourselves up from where we fall!!! Jiayou all mummies here!!!
We should pick ourselves up from where we fall!!! Jiayou all mummies here!!!
fifteenmay
Member
Hi all, I just had to deliver my daughter stillborn 2 weeks ago. Her heart stopped at 28weeks and I took 4 days of incuding to deliver her.i m still feeling The pain and heartbreak of losing her.
fifteenmay
Member
Thanks everyone! Just need a place to vent and rant. My pregnancy went downhill from week 13 after the oscar test. I had a 1:4 risk for t18 which is v high risk. Did a detailed scan with dr ananda and he mentioned tt he cld not see any physical signs of t18 amd ask us to do a harmony test instead. Results came back low risk for t18,t13,t21. Was relieved til the then20 week scan. Found that my little girl was v small (2 weeks behind) had a hole in the heart, hyper flexed wrist and receding chin. Dr ananda mentioned tt it cld be a deletion of chromosome and ask us to do amnio. Decided not to and pray tt our baby girl wld b ok. We were prepsring ourselves tt she ight be a special needs kid also. Ove the weeks,baby was still behind in groeing and we just thot tt we might have a premature baby. Gynae asked us to transfe to kkh cos they have the best nicu. Made an appt on wed to have an ultrasound and realised tt bb had a vsd and over ridding aorta. Kkh arrannged for us to mee cardiac doctor on monday to assess the heart condition. On monday, during the cardiac doctor s ultrasound, her heart structure had collapsed and nonmore heart beat. There started my nightmare. Was induced for 4 days before reach 3cm to break water bag.had bad contractins and had to have epidural. 10 mins later, baby slipped out silent. She was so small..660g at 28weeks... cremated her on sunday and her urn is with me now. Will nevr wish this on anyone even my worst enemy.
fifteenmay
Member
Sorry for spelling mistakes.typing on phone
fifteenmay
Member
The hardest thing for me now is that my sil just gave birth to a girl one week after I lost my daughter. The family meets once every week. I dunno how to face this girl who reminds me of my own loss every time I see her
ecym
Well-Known Member
Hello dear, I m so sorry about your loss. Take your time to grieve during this difficult period. If you think you should avoid family gathering for the time being, I m sure your sil and other family members will understand. Talk to your husband in advance about how you feel, please do not expect your dh to feel the same as you as men grieve very differently from us. Move on when you are emotionally ready... Stay strong...
fifteenmay
Member
I told my husband tt I am not ready to meet this baby. She reminds me of everything my girl will not be or become. He understands and asks me to take all the time I want. But realistically how long can I avoid? They meet once every week. My whole life I have to face this. We are going to bi nian this yr cos it will be too hard on us.
fifteenmay
Member
So sorry to hear this lazybee85. V hard to avoid cos they r family. Totally understand how you feel. Have you met them and the baby yet?
lazybee85
Active Member
fifteenmay, i haven't meet them yet cuz we r both in confinement period.. but i met my bil when he came over to take time stuff n it wasn't easy already so i can imagine when i see my sil n their son.. like u say, it'll b a constant reminder..
since ur side meet weekly, i presume u have met them? hearing others stories n exp, think its normal to want to avoid new borns, preggies ard e same edd etc.. for me, i have that same dread too, but kinda avoiding using confinement...
lazybee85
Active Member
ya.. i dunno when i will b ready.. but as u say, they r family n u can't avoid them forever.. i mentioned CNY to my hubby too, nvr say abt bi nian but its been floating in my mind~ was looking forward to CNY but now......
but i am glad tt my PIL have been v supportive of hubby n me all the while~
Last edited:
Hi all, reading all the posts made me very sad n cried. Today marks the 28days i found out that my 17weeks baby had no more heartbeat. It is my 3rd pregnancy. It was very unexpected n was a shock to us. My gynae detected fluid around its heart during the routine scan @ 16 weeks. He said it was not normal n arranged for us to see a high risk specialist @ nuh. The sonographer scanned for a quite a while b4 telling us that there was no heartbeat. The prof came in n also scanned. He said my baby had fluid all over its body. It is a condition called hydrops.
My first pregnancy was a natural miscarriage @ 8weeks with foetus stopped growing @ 5.5weeks. I have a boy from my 2nd pregnancy and he is turning 2 soon.
My first pregnancy was a natural miscarriage @ 8weeks with foetus stopped growing @ 5.5weeks. I have a boy from my 2nd pregnancy and he is turning 2 soon.
