Should I Agree?

Winniee

New Member
Hi all!

Just wanted to seek some advice from you guys... I have resigned from my job last year, intending to relocate overseas with my husband because of his secondment... While waiting for his visa to be approved, I fell pregnant... So now, we have decided that I will stay put in Singapore.. My SIL, after knowing that I'm not working, has decided that I should tutor her Daughter (in JC) pro bono.. She actually asked me in front of my Mum and MIL. Could I say no? After some consideration, I have agreed, since her Daughter failed her promos and only has a month to pass her supplementary papers. So she left her Daughter at my place on some weekdays and 2 full weekends (1000-1800hrs). Luckily, her Daughter passed her papers and I thought I was off the hook. Now she is asking me to continue tutoring her Daughter, pro bono of course, claiming that tutoring will make my child smarter.. I'm tired of this arrangement and told my Husband to reject her, but she kept badgering me. Should I tell her, I rather rest than tutor her Daughter or am I being too selfish.

Note: she can well afford a tutor... I don't know why I have to tutor her Daughter. It's not like I'm a full time tutor or a JC lecturer.. In order to tutor her, I have to spend all my time revising.
 


I think she's just looking for free tuition and baby sitting.

If u really don't want to do it, tell her clearly and stop the tutoring. Go out of the house and shut off ur phone when itz the usual tuition days/times. Thick skinned people needs thick skinned treatment.
 
This type of thing you should ask me because I always give shit to people who like to take things for granted. I have no doubt since she sees results from your tutoring, you are consider as the right tutor effortlessly. But on the other hand, i have been trying very hard to find places offering free food but still couldn't find leh.

You tell her Dr. Tooth told you if you continue to spend too much time doing free tutoring your baby will be very unhappy. Your baby unhappy because her mum is not getting sufficient rest and the attention is divided. And if she asks you who is Dr. Tooth? You copy and paste this link for her. :eek:
 
I think your health is more impt than her daughter's study.. Now is the best time for you to rest before your baby comes.. Just politely tell her that you need you need more rest now as your bump is getting bigger and you gets tired easily lately..
 
Ya.. ask your hubby to tell her sis that u need more rest now since you r preggy. If that fails, you should be firm and polite to tell her no. You definitely need rest
 
yes, do not just shut off phone... its family members after all.
explain politely you are really not feeling well easily now and not able to think properly.
get tired easily and keep cancelling say u are sick. go see a doctor if needed.
she would not be so rude to insist u go teach when u are sick right? :D
 
I agree with sassynsweet. It is necessary to be tactful while dealing with family related matters.

This situation is like the Aesop's camel and tent story. First Winniee helped the girl pass her exams with free tutoring. If she continues to help her there will be no end to it - there will be many more demands to tutor her for many more years to come - all pro bono - especially when they can afford a tutor.

While shutting off the phone would make it appear very rude, feigning illness and making "a visit to the doctor's office" would be a tactful way to deal with this situation. When the SIL and daughter are expected, leave the house and spend some time at a friend's place. Do this a few times and they will get the message.
 
i too had a 'thick skinned' SIL (hub's bro's wife). The last time we visited them, Sil had the cheek to ask if we can take out their 'old stuffed toys' for the recycle bin on our way out :rolleyes: Hubs said yes, but in the end it was me having to drag the heavy baggage across the car to the bin.
I usually dunno how to say no to these kind of request when it came from 'families'. I learnt the hard way that bil/ sil is used to boss ppl around this way when they know its hard for us to reject (nonsense request at our inconvenience).
How should i have answered them? how to develop a thick skin towards them as well? :p
 
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