Sahm Allowance !

Hi Selina,

u r fortunate, previously i also dun ask allowance from him. i used my own savings to pay for my handphone bills, groceries.. only during weekends we go out then he'll pay. until recently my company went bankrupt, then i ask from him but he like not willing to give me much.
 


fatherof1
u r super hilarious! u sound exactly like my ah lao!
only difference, i do not touch his wallet w/o his permission & we do not own a cheque book. juz a joint a/c which i hold the atm card.

credit card - only for joint purchases. once in a blue moon, i can use it for my personal purchase. (after which i muz inform him upon reaching home)
atm card - cannot use unless it's joint decision.
cash in wallet - muz ask then wait for him to give. cannot self-help.

i think it's basic respect for both parties.
he will offer to pay for my shopping if i ask though.
he also complain i nag too much. how to "undo" the "auntieness" I acquired after childbirth???

advice pls!
 
Hi Ms Tan,

Actually yes. My company does have vacancies if the candidate has background and skills in supporting projects. We are on the look out for project support staff. Anyone qualified can send me a private message.

Petrina,

Thx for the compliment. Times are tough right now though so everyone including myself is in a more serious state of mind. So no jokes during this period.

Good to see though you are having a solid relationship. So many are rather depressing situations. So it's good to get a positive situation once in a while. Good for you.
 
I give my mum a monthly allowance of $350. Both me and my hubby contribute equally to our monthly expenses. Of coz at times, he will still bring me out for dinner or movie together and pamper me with gifts. I feel that as couple, it will be healthier to share your thoughts and should not hide things from each other. He knows about my salary and I know how much he is earning. I am poor at controlling $, thus, he is the one maintaining the monthly accounts. haha!
 
I have some things (brand new clothes, stuff toys, preloved handphones, clothes, chinese teapots etc) i would like to sell online
- motherhood, ebay etc... looking for somebody staying in west side who is willing to come over to take pic if necessary - have pics of some items... and post online.

Very good for SAHM who can only work odd hours!!

Willing to share 15% of the selling price and bear postage charges etc...
 
I used to get $200 monthly, but now not anymore, cause in the end i always ask for more cause not enough lol. I don't go out so often, it just that if i going out (alone), my husband will give me some money for me to spend, he applied secondary cc for me for all his cc, so whenever i need to use for big purchase i will just sms him and say, hey i will buy these those etc.

He does all the house bills, insurance, internet, phone etc. And he does all his finance alone, because i can not manage finance! the best part is i know how much he earns, how much our savings, how much he gives out parents each month.

We only have 1 loan (hdb) no cc debt, no cashline etc. Btw no car also lol.

I think i one of the luckiest SAHM here. He doesn't earn a lot, enough for us to eat and buy everyday necessities, buy stuff for our son etc. And save a little amount each month.
 
I'm a SAHM too. For my parents, last time I did gave them allowances before I quit my job. Luckily, my parents are understanding people and they dun ask for allowance after I became a SAHM. However, I do give them a small amount as and when.

I dun really calculate how much allowance I get from hubby cos he will automatically give it to me. And, he pays for everything in the house, insurances, car loans and also monthly contribution of $800+ to his parents.

My credit cards are also paid by him. For cash, he does not give it to me monthly. Instead, he will ask me if I have enough to spend or not, and he will give me from there. Sometimes, he will slip money into my wallet without my knowledge.

Yes, although I barely have any savings by myself (but my hubby does have), but I know I can rely on him cos he only spends on the family and sting on himself
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I think there is no set amount. If your hubby is blessed to earn more, then I guess you benefit as well. My husband is a very considerate and generous man. He gives me 1k just for my own spending. and he puts $ into our joint account for all other expenses eg utilities,kids expenditure,etc. I have no complaints!
 
I was a SAHM and like froggie, I didn't receive any allowance from my hubby. He usually pays for everything like bills, eating out, shopping etc. Plus I had savings from my old job. Sometimes he will give my money if I tell him I need anything but no fixed sum per month. During that time even though I didn't need to "pay" for anything, I felt rather stressed like have to be so stringent on our spendings since hubby is the only one earning.

I started work again so I'm a FTWM now. Hubby still pays for all the bills, eating out, shopping etc. Sometimes he runs low then I will pay for the bills. But that's not often. Now, not so stressed heehee..

In regards to parents, I give them a monthly sum. We were brought up this way and it's not like we "owe" them, but because we respect them and appreciate them bringing us up. They never stated the amount, I decided on it myself
happy.gif
Hubby will even remind me to give them!

Ai @ http://sakuraharuka.blogspot.com
 
I agree with @inrmum.

My husband and i are currently expecting our first child so technically i am still not a SAHM.

But ever since we got married, i have been blessed not to have to work. So I'm pretty much a SAH-wife? We never discussed how much allowance my husband would be giving me but he started off giving me $1500 spending money every month, some months $2000. Up to me what i would do with it.

At the end of the day, its not about the amount you receive, but its the token of appreciation and blessing your husband gives and shows.

Happy wife, happy life
 
I'm feeling quite disturbed reading through this board, even though the conversation took place so many years ago.

Why do people see giving money to their parents as a burdensome expense to be fulfilled only if they have sufficient left after deducting everything else, including savings component - which, let's face it, will never be enough. How we regard our children is exactly how our parents used to regard us. How terrible, if such love, affection and devotion are repaid by our children's scorn and disregard.

It has never been an issue of whether my parents are able to support themselves for they are well off. Nevertheless, when I started working in my teens doing those holiday jobs, I would give everything to my parents, leaving just enough for my daily expenses. When I started working full-time, I had to set aside more of my pay because I was living by myself but I still gave my parents a good 20% of my monthly pay and on top of that, a supplementary credit card AND I would change pocket money for them when they are going on overseas trips. Now that I am doing much better (though still nothing compared to my parents), I offered to pay for my brother's living expenses while they paid for his university fees. Do I earn so much that these expenses don't bite? No, I feel it every time when my savings and bank account dip. I don't earn that much and they have never asked anything from me which I did not volunteer to give.

So, why do I do this? Am I stupid?

No. I do this because I love them. It is because I know how in our lean years, my father did a lot to carry us through the tough times, and my mom would do a few jobs just to ensure I had pocket money. I do this because I want my brother to learn that as a family, we care for each other and love each other. it is human nature to count the costs, but we must try to prevent ourselves from doing so where family is concerned.

And my parents, knowing where I am coming from, has never once asked me for money. Never once. In fact, once I started paying for my brother, my mom gently told me to stop giving her allowance because it would otherwise be too tight for me and my new family. When I am having problems, my parents would still drop everything to come to me. When I needed financial assistance for my new home, my dad without a word forked out the down payment - thereby wiping out everything I've ever given to them.

How do you keep count between family? I wonder if my family would be the same if I had kept count of every penny and every cent. I probably would be richer by a penny, but poorer in so many other ways.

If I were a SAHM, I don't think my husband would stop me from apportioning a portion of my allowance to my parents. After all, they are the reason I exist. But if my parents were having problems surviving and need money, I probably wouldn't think of being a SAHM....

Of course, my 'essay' above is premised on my responsible parents, who have done a lot for their children. I do know many people have gripes against their parents...
 
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I'm feeling quite disturbed reading through this board, even though the conversation took place so many years ago.

Why do people see giving money to their parents as a burdensome expense to be fulfilled only if they have sufficient left after deducting everything else, including savings component - which, let's face it, will never be enough. How we regard our children is exactly how our parents used to regard us. How terrible, if such love, affection and devotion are repaid by our children's scorn and disregard.

It has never been an issue of whether my parents are able to support themselves for they are well off. Nevertheless, when I started working in my teens doing those holiday jobs, I would give everything to my parents, leaving just enough for my daily expenses. When I started working full-time, I had to set aside more of my pay because I was living by myself but I still gave my parents a good 20% of my monthly pay and on top of that, a supplementary credit card AND I would change pocket money for them when they are going on overseas trips. Now that I am doing much better (though still nothing compared to my parents), I offered to pay for my brother's living expenses while they paid for his university fees. Do I earn so much that these expenses don't bite? No, I feel it every time when my savings and bank account dip. I don't earn that much and they have never asked anything from me which I did not volunteer to give.

So, why do I do this? Am I stupid?

No. I do this because I love them. It is because I know how in our lean years, my father did a lot to carry us through the tough times, and my mom would do a few jobs just to ensure I had pocket money. I do this because I want my brother to learn that as a family, we care for each other and love each other. it is human nature to count the costs, but we must try to prevent ourselves from doing so where family is concerned.

And my parents, knowing where I am coming from, has never once asked me for money. Never once. In fact, once I started paying for my brother, my mom gently told me to stop giving her allowance because it would otherwise be too tight for me and my new family. When I am having problems, my parents would still drop everything to come to me. When I needed financial assistance for my new home, my dad without a word forked out the down payment - thereby wiping out everything I've ever given to them.

How do you keep count between family? I wonder if my family would be the same if I had kept count of every penny and every cent. I probably would be richer by a penny, but poorer in so many other ways.

If I were a SAHM, I don't think my husband would stop me from apportioning a portion of my allowance to my parents. After all, they are the reason I exist. But if my parents were having problems surviving and need money, I probably wouldn't think of being a SAHM....

Of course, my 'essay' above is premised on my responsible parents, who have done a lot for their children. I do know many people have gripes against their parents...

I totally agree on what littlemonkies have said. Am a little disgusted by some of the posts here too. For me, I have 3 other younger sisters and I'm the eldest. 1st younger sister had given birth to a son last year, 2nd sister just got pregnant and the youngest just graduated from university and working part time. Both my parents are retired and taking care of my nephew and I still have a granny and a helper to support. I'm now also saving up for my 2nd round of fertility treatment this month and I still have to pay for my ART cost, acupuncture, TCM and whatever supplements both I and my hubby are taking right now. Both me and my hubby are earning pretty decent salaries and we stay in a 4 room HDB flat and drive a normal weekend car.

Ever since I started working more than 10 years ago, be it a part time, temp or full time job, I have started contributing to my family. Probably I'm the eldest, so I feel the sense of responsibility of having to contribute to my parents financially, although they did not ask money from me outright. At that time my youngest sister was in primary school and my parents couldn't afford much for her, so I would just pay for her monthly tuition fees or whatever she needed in school or at home. I was only earning a gross monthly income of $1.8k back then when I just graduated from university. So from then onwards, as and when I change jobs or have salary adjustments, I will increase the allowance given to my parents. When I get my bonus, I will usually also give them 1 to 2k more in December. And whenever we go out for dinner as a family, all my sisters and I will split the bill among the 4 of us. I have never once thought that spending money on my parents is 'burdensome' and is an 'expense'. In fact, I'm always afraid that they do not have enough money! I'm not surprised that some of the ladies here have thought otherwise because it's pretty common. But I will be really sad if my future children have such a thinking! Of course we shouldn't expect to rely on our children financially when we are old but at least they should be taught the Asian value of honoring and respecting the parents!

Last year my granny had a serious fall and went for an operation. There after, we had to employ a helper to care for her. As I have been giving quite a substantial amount of money to my parents, I offered to pay for all the expenses of the helper and wouldn't be giving my parents much allowance from then on. But being someone who loves the family, I couldn't bear to not giving my parents any money, so I just continued to give them half of the allowance plus the helper's salary, until now. Do you think the amount won't sting my heart? If I get to save the money, I probably am able to pay for the down payment of my first condo now already. Even if I am lucky and succeed on my 2nd fertility treatment and am blessed with a singleton or a pair of twins, I will still continue to give my parents the same allowance and will not reduce it if we can afford it, at the most just save lesser. I'm sure my hubby will not agree on cutting their allowance too.

Yes I have the same thinking as littlemonkies. If my hubby's salary is not enough to cover my own household expenses and my parents and parents in law's allowance, then I wouldn't even consider being a SAHM. If ultimately both me and hubby don't have children, all the more we are able to spend on our parents, probably bringing them to travel overseas every year and bringing them to places for good food, etc. Honestly, they are also getting old, so how long more can we be filial to them, when they lie inside the coffins? When they are no longer around, then you might regret what you should have done!

Sorry for the long post too. Just want to share my views and I apologize if my post offends anyone of you.

P/S. Both me and hubby don't have much cash savings too, only have some insurance and investments which we lock away religiously every month.
 
Personally feel it is our responsibility to ensure that our parents have a decent retirement life after spending decades bringing us up and worrying for us. I'm a SAHM but I still continue giving them an allowance every month plus pay for their annual holidays wherever they want to go. I do not touch hubby's money to give to my parents. Whatever I give my parents are from my own savings and investments returns. Of course I had to ensure that I would have enough money to cover my parents allowance before I decided to be a SAHM. My hubby does his part too by bringing my parents out for dinners and buying little gifts for them.

Surviving on one income is not easy. Now with no monthly salary, I have to cut back on my personal extravagance like shopping, dining out, facials, manicures, holidays etc. Is that consider a sacrifice? No I do not think so. I think my parents had it worse than me during their child raising years. They had to scrimp and save to send us for education but they never once complain. They may not have provided the best as compared to my peers, but I know they did their best within their limits and I truly grateful to them. Without them, I wouldn't be what I am today. Whatever I have today, I owe it to them.

Do not be mistaken, my parents has never once asked for all these. I willingly and happily provides for them for I think it is a blessing to be able to give.
 
Personally feel it is our responsibility to ensure that our parents have a decent retirement life after spending decades bringing us up and worrying for us. I'm a SAHM but I still continue giving them an allowance every month plus pay for their annual holidays wherever they want to go. I do not touch hubby's money to give to my parents. Whatever I give my parents are from my own savings and investments returns. Of course I had to ensure that I would have enough money to cover my parents allowance before I decided to be a SAHM. My hubby does his part too by bringing my parents out for dinners and buying little gifts for them.

Surviving on one income is not easy. Now with no monthly salary, I have to cut back on my personal extravagance like shopping, dining out, facials, manicures, holidays etc. Is that consider a sacrifice? No I do not think so. I think my parents had it worse than me during their child raising years. They had to scrimp and save to send us for education but they never once complain. They may not have provided the best as compared to my peers, but I know they did their best within their limits and I truly grateful to them. Without them, I wouldn't be what I am today. Whatever I have today, I owe it to them.

Do not be mistaken, my parents has never once asked for all these. I willingly and happily provides for them for I think it is a blessing to be able to give.

I fully agree with you too! @Maybebb
 
Heartening to read the accounts from various filial daughters here. When I became a sahm, i could only afford to pay for expenses when I brought my mom out, and not a lump sum allowance anymore. We could no longer pay for air tickets, expensive gifts, but we will make every attempt to pay for expenditures incurred when she's with us, or any household needs like repair works, a new fan, etc. If I do get a 'bonus' from my hubby, I will apportion a little for my mom too. I do think that, within my means, I try to give what I could because I do feel apologetic that I no longer could give her allowance anymore. However, it pains me when my mom occasionally makes sarcastic comparison to other rich son-in-laws of her friends.
 
Lushvelvet, don't be disheartened. You know you did your best so your conscience is clear.

For my case, I had planned to be financially capable of providing for my parents and also for myself if something 'touch wood' should happen to me. Nothing big but to be able to afford living decently with meals and roof over our heads. I know my parents don't have much savings after spending almost everything they've on their children. So I must make sure they'll have a trouble free retirement life. Hubby has his own set of family to care for so I cannot expect him to shoulder my parents as well.

I'm sure your mum appreciates you and your hubby's thoughts and actions. Just that sometimes 'itchy' mouth they talk too fast. Don't take it to heart.
 
Hello,
To all sahm mummies.... just wonder how much is ur allowance per mth?

And do you all do anything planning ahead or do any money budgeting ahead?


Just asking. Thanks.
 
Lushvelvet, don't be disheartened. You know you did your best so your conscience is clear.

For my case, I had planned to be financially capable of providing for my parents and also for myself if something 'touch wood' should happen to me. Nothing big but to be able to afford living decently with meals and roof over our heads. I know my parents don't have much savings after spending almost everything they've on their children. So I must make sure they'll have a trouble free retirement life. Hubby has his own set of family to care for so I cannot expect him to shoulder my parents as well.

I'm sure your mum appreciates you and your hubby's thoughts and actions. Just that sometimes 'itchy' mouth they talk too fast. Don't take it to heart.

Hello... do u do any money planning ahead?
 
Hi I am stay at home mum now. I am struggling to be one as my motivation level goes down as time goes on.

I wonder what stay at home mum do to keep the mental well being and daily expenses. Even though i have plan ahead of a year... when i see my savings dipping months after months, i tend to go back being full time working mum.

Can anyone advise?
It is so hard to find part time job also in singapore.
 
I am getting 20k every 6 months.
My hubby pay for most stuffs so practically is my money to spent.i m pregnant now and have not been working for about a year now
 

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