Put Baby to sleep

Discussion in 'Year 2009 Mums' started by sunglow, Jan 19, 2009.

  1. sunglow

    sunglow New Member

    Hi mummies

    I have read different theories on how to put babies to sleep, some advise not to rock, just put on cot, some said can rock...

    I am now trying to put my girl (11 Month) to sleep by going thru bedtime ritual which include bath, milk, book...then I would put her in her cot awake and sit by the cot. She would get up and stand in the cot, then I put her down and we would "wrestle" like that for 45 mins, 30 mins, 20 mins etc.. (wow, tiring!)...the few nights she would then finally remain in bed and doze off...so my question is am I doing the right thing? Will I make my baby detest sleeping?

    At this point I am very sure I cannot just put her down and walk out of the room, she would definitely cry...

    So any mummies have same experience? Pls advise.

    Thanks.
  2. zolldoll

    zolldoll Member

    Hey, i have the same problem as you. I will put my son and wrestle with him on our bed when i know it is nearly his time to sleep like bout 9plus. And because he always sleep on our bed, he knows when i lift him up to put him in his cot and he cries and so end up will be back on our bed. I have no ides how to stop this cos i think it has been a habit and i think we will have a problem making him sleep alone next time.
  3. jo_tan

    jo_tan New Member

    You have to do it the hard way. My mum is a baby sitter, currently looking after 2 kids. She had looked after more than 5 kids and have 4 kids of her own. You have to break the habit. At their bedtime, put them to bed and leave the room. If they are crying, you have to let them cry. The 1st few days you can walk in and look at them at different intervals but do not carry them. Make the intervals longer and longer. It's really heart breaking at first. But after sometime, they will realise it's no use crying, they will fall asleep on their own. Most of the time after 1 week you will see the effect.
  4. zolldoll

    zolldoll Member

    Wow, i really cannot bear to do that. I tried and it is so torturing to see my son really crying and i will quickly carry him in my arms again. Sigh, i know this is bad, but got no choice, heart too soft. I will try see if got other methods not.
  5. jo_tan

    jo_tan New Member

    No choice ma. This method is the most effective one I know. Work for all the babies so far. But really heart breaking.
  6. zolldoll

    zolldoll Member

    I do agree..maybe let me master more courage at night or put cotton wool into my ears before that and i will try.
  7. mum2saige

    mum2saige Member

    Hi, I use the cry it out method on my first child. Initial training takes about near 1hr with lots of guilt and heartache within me. We tasted sucess and freedom after 2months(cant remember exactly). Now coming to 2yr, she got a very hoarse voice and we re bringing her to KK to check her vocal. Though this is a good method but do it with caution.What i learnt from my mistake was dun put the child wake awake down. Smoothe the child till she tire or drowsy then put child down. Secondly, watch for their readiness too and must set a limit to their crying. afterall, we only want them to sleep.
  8. chipndale

    chipndale New Member

    cry it out method is not for everyone. It worked for a few of my friends kids, so I was tempted to try it on my child too. Really regretted it. She was 6 mths when I tried it, and the 1st night, she cried till she vomited on the bed, then fell asleep in her puke. my heart really ached cos she vomited during the interval between my peeks into the room. subsequently, she took shorter durations to cry herself to sleep(60min, 30 min, 20min, 10 min), but the crying was very intense, and after 1 wk, she started developing sleep phobia. the moment she entered the room, she wld start crying even tho i hadnt started the bedtime routine with her. she wld even cry during diaper changing in the day as she associates it with being put to sleep alone. took us 2 wks plus to get her back to her pre cry it out state, and we decided never to try it again on our future kids.

    Now she is 19 mths old, and since she was 7 mths old, i put her to bed and sit next to her while she rolls ard on her bed until she falls asleep . perfectly fine with that cos it's our bonding time and i look forward to having that private time with her after a long day of work.
  9. cactus_79

    cactus_79 New Member

    I think the cry it out method is not suitable for all babies. Although all babies eventually cry themselves to sleep (out of sheer exhaustion). My bb is 7 months old and still needs to be calmed down (short duration of rocking - about 30 secs to a minute), then patted to sleep - takes about 1 minute. I don't regret spending effort to put him to sleep cos I can't bear for him to cry, and I know he is not being difficut and refusing to sleep cos he is truly tired. I can't bear for him to cry himself to sleep when he is already so tired.
  10. sunglow

    sunglow New Member

    Wow...so theories do not apply to all...

    So mummies, like to know, I put my girl in her cot, she would stand up...and then I put her down...and then she would stand....no crying during this time but tiring on my part (my girl does not seem to be tired doing it). So am I doing the right thing? Or should I just let her stand until she gets tired and lie down to sleep (but suspect this will not happen...seems like she has endless energy).
  11. cactus_79

    cactus_79 New Member

    Sunglow, maybe you would like to try to have a bedtime routine for your girl? so that she knows it is zzz time? you can also try to tire your girl out in the late afternoon or early evening so that she sleeps easily at night. My boy is 7 months now. He takes 3 naps totally 3.5hrs during the day (from 630am to 730pm). We let him decide when he wants to nap, but we arrange his schedule such that he wakes up from his last nap by 5pm, earliest by 430pm, so that he is sleepy by 7pm. putting him to bed at night is easier when he is tired.
  12. reiner

    reiner Active Member

    its really heart pain to use the cry-out method on the very 1st nite on my gal when she was 7 mth. plus my MIL said why make my gal cried lah, if she wants to sleep, she will lah why force her leh....

    so me read from somewhere that parents can pretend to sleep method... so after the bedtime routine, me will sleep beside my gal on her mattresses.... lights off, door closed. @lst she tended to wander in the room and kept "disturb" me to play with her. But me just ignored her.... then she'll lay down besides me, and fell asleep.... easy?? so far this works for my gal lor.... of coz there were times, she's really didnt want to sleep... but me manage to find out the reasons... - its my MIL who put my gal to nap @ 6pm... you see lah... (day time activities is beyond my control, you know what me mean lah, right??) how to get my gal to sleep @ 9pm plus leh??!! but me still get her in the bedroom @ 9pm to start the rountine but lights off @ later time lor...

    once you stick to the routine, your baby will know what you want from her/him...

    now my gal is coming ot 3yr, me still pretend to sleep beside her... me like this... ha!!! me like to smell her leh...
  13. pingping

    pingping Active Member

    Cry out method does work, but you hv to start early as young as newborn. Most importantly, yr baby needs a routine, feed/play/sleep. A tired baby will fall asleep easier.

    You need to set a time limit for yr baby to cry to sleep, maximum 15 to 20min if they are tired, they won't cry for so long. When babies cry too much, it affect their emotional health and might feel insecure. It's easier to train when they are young, as they grow older like 6 mths, it won't be so easy unless yr baby is an easy one. Character also plays a part when they are older, and some babies may not be easy to train(need a lot of patience and determination).

    Sunglow, you need to leave the room in order for yr girl to fall asleep on her own. Try to peep without letting her see you.
  14. pingping

    pingping Active Member

    Leereiner,

    You shld tell yr MIL not to let gal nap so late, 6pm is too late, how to sleep at 9pm? She's not tired at all. Yr gal shld nap earlier like 2-3pm, and not too long as this age nap abt 1 -1.5 hrs is sufficient.

    If you allow this routine to continue, she'll hv problem adapting when she goes to school. When yr 2nd baby comes along, you'll not hv time to sleep with her. Nighttime sleep is the most important. I hope I am not being offensive, just voicing out how I feel.

    My gal nap abt 4pm and 2-3 hrs, also can't sleep early. So I am thinking of cutting short the hours to 1.5hrs, so that she will be able to sleep at abt 9 to 9.30pm. As her nightitme sleep hours are not long enough, she tend to get tired in the afternoon. I don't want this to affect her when she goes to K1 next yr which is 4 hrs in the afternoon session.
  15. sunglow

    sunglow New Member

    Hi mummies

    Thanks for advice...

    Got bedtime routine for daughter...still have to "wrestle"...and if leave her in the bedroom, she will scream and cry....at this point cannot bear to leave her to cry, especially when my girl does not only cry, she will yell and cry...

    ok...more or less got it...

    Thanks.
  16. reiner

    reiner Active Member

    hi pingping,

    now my gal is coming to 3yr and we have send her to childcare when she was 2yr. Great that childcare has the scheudle for napping so me have no problem to get her into the room @ 9pm... with the same rountine - story, singing, talking, milk then sleep... so me said rountine is impt mah... now my problem is co-sleep with #1... wonder how shall me position my #2? me is staying with my hubby's family- PIL, and hubby's 2 younger slibings...
  17. tingting

    tingting Active Member

    hmm, i suppose one cannot apply cry it out method without considering other circumstances. E.g. have also got to ensure that the bb generally has a regular daily routine, and adults put him to bed according to his body rythmn (i.e. when he's drowsy but not yet overly tired that he goes into overdrive). I used to put my son in bed by 8pm and with a modified cry it out method since 6 months old, I get to enjoy a decent night's rest at the end of a long day. Hopefully i can have the same success with #2 next time. I would say observe your child's temperament, and adapt a sleeping method that is healthy for him/her and fits into your lifestyle (or what you're prepared to sacrifice).
  18. pingping

    pingping Active Member

    Hi Leereiner,

    Co sleep problem is a habit that's hard to quit esp at the age of 3 when they are so used to sleeping with someone, but you need to break the habit or you'll hv a problem when yr 2nd one comes out(if you need to breastfeed). I don't co sleep with my kids, my gal has no problem sleeping in the other room by herself.

    I hv read in other threads, that mummies hv to sleep with their kids till they fall asleep, sometimes they will wake up in the middle of the night to look for their mummy(which is very tiring for mummy). For yr case, you hv to start now otherwise it'll be very hectic for you when you give birth. I know it's more difficult for you as you are staying with yr in laws, and to enforce certain rules which you need the cooperation from them.

    For yr 2nd baby, you can co sleep for first four mths approximately(that's what I did as I breastfeed in the middle of the night), it could be more or less than 4 mths depending on the baby, till she has sleep throughout the night. Train her to sleep in the cot( you are teaching her to sleep on her own). You will find it easier to shift her to sleep in the other room when she's older.

    Hv you thought of moving out? It seems like a lot of pple in yr hse that there is not enough space for yr kids.

    You might want to refer to these 2 books( which I learnt form it) :
    http://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Baby-Wise-Gary-Ezzo/dp/1576734587/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1227163376&sr=1-2

    http://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Baby-Wise-Parenting-Pretoddler/dp/0971453217/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1227163376&sr=1-3
  19. reiner

    reiner Active Member

    moving out??? never think of it... like this pl, convenient for hubby and me to work. ya lots of ppl @ home, plus my SIL's dotter is taken care by my MIL in the daytime... we do have a hse @ west side which my mum & bro are staying there. err... complicated by me lah...

    so me said there's difficult for my gal to be able to sleep on her own... or rather any extra space to accomodate her lor... hmmmm.... hubby, me, #1 & #2 are in the master bedroom... and we have sort of "convert" the bathroom into a storage space for my #1's barang barang... and me gotta make use of every inch in the room. sigh!! gotta talk and discuss with hubby of the space layout lor...

    thanks pingping, shall go online library to reserve the 2 books you recommend...
  20. pingping

    pingping Active Member

    Wa, very cramp leh in that case. As yr kids grow older, there'll be a space problem unless yr hubby's siblings get married and get a place of their own. For yr case, quite complicated cos of space constraint.

    Now I understand why you hv to sleep with yr gal. So the place you are staying at is yr in laws place, is it?
  21. Hi mummies,
    Would like to share tips how to trained ur baby to sleep well during nite time. Rinse or wipe ur bb at about 9pm.( try to distract your bb not to let them sleep at evening time at abt 6pm) Do bb massage at the same time talk to them. Make sure that their playpen or bb cot bed is lay with cotton comforters as they will feel more comfortable. Once finish with the massage, put ur bb in and talk again as at the same time pat their forehead, nose bridge and ears. Do not carry them or rock them around, as they will want the same thing you need to do everytime during bedtime. Try these method or just email us at malayheritagemassage@hotmail.com if you've any quires abt your bb or abt breastfeeding with no obligation.
  22. pinpong

    pinpong New Member

    Hi mummies

    when shuld we start d sleep routine for BB? when BB is 6 or 7mths old?
  23. pingping

    pingping Active Member

    Hi pinpong,

    You can start as early as newborn.
  24. celynlee

    celynlee Active Member

    pingpong,
    i start sleep routine for my son after confinement. he used to sleep very late, then i slowly adjust his timing from 11pm to 10pm and now by 9pm, he is in bed liao. usually by 8pm, he will be grouchy and feels sleepy liao. that will be the time, i put him in his cot to sleep and on music and off the lights. sometimes he will still eh eh in the cot but as long as he don't cry out loud, i will just ignore him. before i realise he is sleeping liao. i train him to sleep in his cot in his own room since 2nd month.
  25. pinpong

    pinpong New Member

    Hi mums

    Thanx for d advises.
    will try to do dat.
  26. erica

    erica Member

  27. bluegin

    bluegin Active Member

    I need advice on making toddlers sleep earlier.
    My baby is 17months now, I have problem getting her to sleep at night.
    I let my baby alternate stay at my parent and PIL's place cos my PIL likes travelling ard.
    Parent: Let baby sleeps earlier abt 9 or 10pm and wakes up at 7am or 8am.
    PIL: let baby sleeps late at 12 or 1am wakes up at 10am or 11am which I dun like it (following their living style).
    Now I wanna train baby to sleep earlier. She do not have any problem sleeping in the day. She can sleep on her own, but during the night, she simply refuse to sleep earlier. Have tried the crying method and she vomitted during the process.
    I also tried massage, cuddling, read books, have warm bath. No use. I also tried co-sleep with her but in the end I always sleep before she does. Although she sleeps late, she do not wake up in the middle of the night.
  28. mummyfel

    mummyfel Member

    Hi Blueginger,

    I have the same problem which you encounter.
    My boy will sleep around 10pm at my mum's place. However when he is at PIL place, he will only sleep at 12plus,1am...sometimes 2am! Of coz when he sleep late, he will automatically wake up late too..at 11am the next day.

    Sigh...dunnoe how to change his sleeping method now...
  29. bluegin

    bluegin Active Member

    Currently I make her wake up at 3pm for the afternoon nap. And read her a few storybook til 10pm at night. She is able to sleep before 1030pm this week. probably you wanna try this way. Then can slowly adjust the timing early. But need you PIL co-operation. I gave black face if my MIL din follow cause she is the main caretaker during the day. Like last night, she is purposely want to feed bb late at 8pm then followed by late milk intake at 11pm. I stop her.
  30. babyuy

    babyuy New Member

    my baby is 4 months old and i've just trained her to fall asleep without rocking or nursing to sleep. You just have to let the baby cry it out. The first night she cried 45 minutes and then after a few days, she got it. Now she falls asleep quite fast and sometimes even without crying.

    The key is, don't let your baby get overtired before you put her down. And if your baby is still crying after 1hr, pick her up and rock her to sleep.
  31. holeyman1

    holeyman1 New Member

    Toby was "forced" trained to stick to a ritual. now at almost 18 months, his sleep ritual is almost clock-work. Was told to train them for play-group/childcare/pre-school.. teach them young, no going out till late, meals at appointed timings etc.. Used to have ZERO time for my wife, follow this pattern, then its like 10pm baby sleep father mother can do what they want

    REMEMBER a baby is part of the family, not the centre of one!
  32. graysgerald79

    graysgerald79 Member

    my baby is now coming to 11 months. On most nights, i still need to rock/pat him to sleep which can take at least like 20-30 mins. On good days, he will fall asleep almost immediately after his last feed of milk.

    We tried to set him a routine when he was 2-3 months, but end up i had to spend like 2-3 hours to put him to sleep and he will wake up like 2-3 hours later. Now he is getting, as he tends to sleep thru the night, but he is still going to bed only at 10plus 11. By the time he is asleep, mummy is exhausted too.

    i dunno whether the crying method will help, because my baby can cry very loud for very long. I still trying to explore how to put him in his bed like some of the mummies do, cos my son will just keep standing up and refuse to lie down.

    Any mummies having the same problems too?
  33. cinnacraze

    cinnacraze Member

    Kristie,

    I know what u're going thru...

    My little boy is 10 months and he's not a sleeper at all. In the day.. he naps less than 45 mins and he sleeps on average about 11.30pm everyday.

    My hubby and I tried to set the bed routine since he was 2-3months old but it never worked. In fact, the first 6 months of his life.... was hell nights for us. He sleeps at 4am on average. Totally wore us out! If he does sleep early at abt 11pm (this is so called early!), he will wake up at 2am, fully charged and ready for play.

    He wails so loud that his aunts and uncles and grandaunts and granduncles who stay next door and next next door will come knocking on the door asking if BB is ok. He doesn't cry.. he WAILS.

    And he has the ability to continue sobbing for an hour after we try to calm him down.

    I wouldn't subscribe to the cry method because baby usually will be too worked up to go to sleep (at least my boy is). And I don't know how a sobbing baby can fall asleep. He already can't breathe calmly and normally.. how to fall asleep? Hmmm...

    Anyway, now at 10 months.. I wouldn't say it's a breeze but it's certainly easier to get him to sleep. Although he still sleeps quite late at 11pm.. (but it sure beats sleeping at 4am!!!), he does fall asleep on his own.

    My method would be to try to fill his waking hours before sleep with lots of stimulation and activity. Play with him, talk to him... make him laugh.. etc... So that by the time he has his milk, he would be very sleepy.. and once he finishes his milk... I'd put the pacifier into his mouth and he'd roll over and sleep on his own. [​IMG]

    One thing to note is.... remember to set the mood for sleep. Meaning.. when it's time for bed, no tv, no lights, no more play or jokes. Let baby calm down.. give him his milk (in the dark) and he will be ready for sleep.

    I hope this helps. At least for me.... no more "4am nightmares".
  34. kimifin

    kimifin New Member

    http://www.kkh.com.sg/ContactUs/Pages/TelephoneNumbers.aspx
    Anyone ask the above for advice? KKH ask-a-nurse?

    For me, day time was so hard, since he turned 1 mth, he was colicky n we try to use CIO, but it got worse..
    end up rocking n patting to sleep.
    from 5 mth, he rather be in bed and crawling in n out, so we try to pat, but that cuc struggle for 1 hr plus.

    nite was easier cos dark room and he was tired end of the day, so 1hr + and successfully can fall z.

    but day time, sometimes he can skip the naps n keep rubbing his eyes n yawn, but duno how to fall aslp.

    ANYONE got tips???

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