Petty husband
- Thread starter cloud15
- Start date
hi he doesn't pay for any of my expenses. Nor he give me any savings. He only pay for the once a month supermarket grocery trip. Kids expenses are all half half. Including my prenatal checkups, delivery fees and even confinement nanny fees are all half half. Is this normal? Or am I expecting too much.
Small amount purchases like movie purchases etc we take turns to treat each other. Long holiday trips are all half half. CNY angpao, gifts etc also all half half. He encourage me to take no pay or quit my job to take care of children at home. But where am I gng to find money to cover all these half half expenses if I don't work.
lynx_sea
Active Member
If he encourages u to stay home look after kids then he shd know you won't have anymore income. On top of that, he has to cover your expenses too.
pyng
Active Member
Quite similar to me when come to treat for each other and me and my hubby also take charge of own expenses...he used to give me allowances but not anymore now due to 2nd child starting childcare this year besides we having third one soon and more have to spend. At times, I found my hubby petty in financial issues coz he always said half half etc I feel it right he should contribute more as he earn more than me but having said that, he contributed most of child expenses such as education and insurances. We going to hire maid due to 3rd one coming and I have to bear the maid expenses! So see how to survive if I not working...I encourage continue working as we cannot rely on husband income besides you have to depend on his allowances to survive and what if he stop giving you one day.
pyng
Active Member
Yalor...lastime my hubby on time give me allowance, gradually delay then give and turn in i have to remind and ask for it and depend on his mood like have to see his face good anot then I have to ask. Then this year tell me no more
I tried argue with him but he give a lot excuses like all half half etc.
pyng
Active Member
ya me also but on financial issues. My in law good good so lucky me lah have no issue but I forsee third one has more financial issue but I have to bear with it coz if not kids suffer leh.
pyng
Active Member
What to do...that why i hope to hear from mummies on this thread see really most hub are calculative or only a few like me. Sighs!How many kids u have?
Both my husband and I don't have individual savings. I don't get allowance from him. We contribute almost all our monthly salaries and bonuses into joint accounts and all family expenses, credit card bills, parents' maintenance etc are paid for using the joint accounts. Since he earns more than me, I guess effectively he's pay for a larger share of family expenses?
pyng
Active Member
That depends how individual expenses like imagine u spend a few hundred on monthly facial and he spend none of it?
The amount that we allocate (or I should say I allocate) to both of us is dependent on the average spending needs of each pax. E.g. he gets $500 a month and I get $300 a month and all other amts get transferred to joint account on pay day. All credit card spending are already paid for by joint account....the few hundred dollars is just for cash spending so should be enough. I go through all credit card bills item by item every month. If I see extraordinary items that are not supported by a corresponding credit card slip, I'll ask him what the item is.
Yah I think so too. Lately my hubby also told me better not have no.3 cos he actually wanted to have more kids. But the thought of me having go thru all the discomfort and pain of childbirth and to have u so calculative over all these money really makes me have second thoughts too.
Yah I agree we women need to work. I foresee mine will also show 脸色 when times come for me to get money from him. I am sure he will satisfy all my physiological needs but none of my wants. No more shopping in future . Will become 黄脸婆in time to come.
Yah I agree we women need to work. I foresee mine will also show 脸色 when times come for me to get money from him. I am sure he will satisfy all my physiological needs but none of my wants. No more shopping in future . Will become 黄脸婆in time to come.
hippo78
Active Member
I am paying for the maid salary, and my prenatal checkups.
Whereas my hb pays for my 2 sons childcare which is around $2.2k.
And because we are staying with my mil, he gave her monthly household allowances.
He also pay for the car maintenance, petrol and our/kid insurances too.
Even CNY ang bao he will handle.
As for food and groceries, we usually take turns, but most of the time he pays.
For holidays, if he is already paying for the hotel, I will volunteer for overseas expenses.
So I guess my hb is contributing a larger share of the family expenses.
Whereas my hb pays for my 2 sons childcare which is around $2.2k.
And because we are staying with my mil, he gave her monthly household allowances.
He also pay for the car maintenance, petrol and our/kid insurances too.
Even CNY ang bao he will handle.
As for food and groceries, we usually take turns, but most of the time he pays.
For holidays, if he is already paying for the hotel, I will volunteer for overseas expenses.
So I guess my hb is contributing a larger share of the family expenses.
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pyng
Active Member
Yes. Better think twice if u want no.3 coz mine is accident lol. I heard many stories hubby stop giving allowances and give many excuses so better work!
pyng
Active Member
Ur hub earn much more than u? U having number 3 soon too right and he paying all too?
pyng
Active Member
ic...better have own savings as u never know what happened in 5 or 10 years down the road.
pyng
Active Member
good for u
btw when u due and cfm gal right sorry to side track as I happened to see ur post on harmony.
Dr. Tooth
Active Member
All women must work if not face the risks of your husband triumphant you like elephant the day when you are left with not even a dollar.
Exceptional cases are those whose wives manage husband's income or husbands bringing home few thousand dollars a month due to his CEO high earning power.
Exceptional cases are those whose wives manage husband's income or husbands bringing home few thousand dollars a month due to his CEO high earning power.
lynx_sea
Active Member
I have only 1. I wish to have more but hsb not helping much. Sometimes money isnt everything too
pyng
Active Member
I have only 1. I wish to have more but hsb not helping much. Sometimes money isnt everything too
if hub not keen to have no.2 better remain
lynx_sea
Active Member
Hub no comment. He let me decide everything. But will see how. Partly also my age catching up. No time to waste.if hub not keen to have no.2 better remain
lynx_sea
Active Member
2 yo only
I think it boils down to different couple different style. I think petty is quite harsh perhaps he has other difficulties?
Well for me and my hubs, we both know that we will need to earn for our keeps cos we got no family support (e.g. if we are broke or we need money we cant turn to family for loan or for them to help us with payment) so we are quite financially independent as a couple. Basically paid for everything from wedding to house on our own. So we know some.luxury like car is something we cant afford now.
Small items like meals/buying of stuff we take turns to pay. Things charged to my credit card like groceries, household items we will split when the bill is here or take from our joint acc. He earns more but he saves more so if i need more money he will be the one to help and pay first. So i am fine with splitting half even tho he earns more.
E.g. now i am pregnant, most of the bills to see doc and tcm during ttc was paid by him first.
Well for me and my hubs, we both know that we will need to earn for our keeps cos we got no family support (e.g. if we are broke or we need money we cant turn to family for loan or for them to help us with payment) so we are quite financially independent as a couple. Basically paid for everything from wedding to house on our own. So we know some.luxury like car is something we cant afford now.
Small items like meals/buying of stuff we take turns to pay. Things charged to my credit card like groceries, household items we will split when the bill is here or take from our joint acc. He earns more but he saves more so if i need more money he will be the one to help and pay first. So i am fine with splitting half even tho he earns more.
E.g. now i am pregnant, most of the bills to see doc and tcm during ttc was paid by him first.
pyng
Active Member
Hub no comment. He let me decide everything. But will see how. Partly also my age catching up. No time to waste.
in this case u can consider no.2 coz I feel having 2 kids better for such that the one has accompany and talk play about...like my 2 gals they cant stop playing, fighting and close to each other at least I feel glad that elder one can take care her sis when I not busy. Also very fun see them on certain acts make my day at times
Besides u said age catching up, better plan soon. Of coz, all must be comfortable b/w u and ur hubby and really talk and discuss since u SAHM.
lynx_sea
Active Member
Ya been talking n he doesnt resist the idea of having no. 2. Cos my no. 1 is a micro preemie tats why i have my concern. Since i am the main caregiver, I am worried that i have to be hospitalised for a mth till delivery like my 1st birthin this case u can consider no.2 coz I feel having 2 kids better for such that the one has accompany and talk play about...like my 2 gals they cant stop playing, fighting and close to each other at least I feel glad that elder one can take care her sis when I not busy. Also very fun see them on certain acts make my day at times
Note: my boy is a 26+3 weeker
pyng
Active Member
Ya been talking n he doesnt resist the idea of having no. 2. Cos my no. 1 is a micro preemie tats why i have my concern. Since i am the main caregiver, I am worried that i have to be hospitalised for a mth till delivery like my 1st birth
Note: my boy is a 26+3 weeker
What is micro premmie.? Hospitalised why? Dun mind I probe....If you dun have other caregiver for no.2 maybe you have to wait one more year than consider as ur boy around 4 yr old when bb born...more or less he in child care and u can have more time with bb.
lynx_sea
Active Member
Micro preemie means he is very premature. Born only abt 800gram.
My waterbag broke at week23 n at verge of losing the baby. Luckily it stays in till 26 weeks n i delivered via emergency csec
pyng
Active Member
oh gosh...ok sorry to hear that. Really glad everything ok.
lynx_sea
Active Member
Yes. Due to 1st bad experience, i am also concerned with the next pregnancy. Likely to be a premature again. Esp i just crossed the passing marks of 24 weeks. Any earlier, hospital doesnt want to resuscitate.
pyng
Active Member
Understand your concern dear.