Moving On After Cheating

kiche

Member
How do u move on after finding out that ur other half cheated on u? Do u seek divorce or just try to put up with the pain and continue the marriage? Does anyone feel tempted to cheat on their other half as revenge?
 


Kiche, I'm sorry to hear your story. It'll b easier for me to say move on for u deserve better. When men show infidelity, they most likely won't change for some might b in it on search of thrills while some hv some emotional/physical spousal discontent. It also depends if he's holding onto the purse string or if u r financially independent. The kids n their ages is another factor to consider. Sigh, this isn't easy on u. I've bn heart-broken w my family issues n I can commiserate w ur sorrow
 
@kiche Actually, to move on or seek divorce, it's really entirely up 2 both of u.

A marriage requires both parties to work together. Can u work with him to c wat was d issue dat causes him 2 stray?

D point is can u ever forgive him for straying? Seeking revenge should not b an option since u may ended up b @ d losing end.

Weigh your options and have a "calm" discussion with him.

Hope everything works out well 4 u.
 
Kiche, I'm sorry to hear your story. It'll b easier for me to say move on for u deserve better. When men show infidelity, they most likely won't change for some might b in it on search of thrills while some hv some emotional/physical spousal discontent. It also depends if he's holding onto the purse string or if u r financially independent. The kids n their ages is another factor to consider. Sigh, this isn't easy on u. I've bn heart-broken w my family issues n I can commiserate w ur sorrow
Sorry to hear that u have ur own family woes and that has made u feel down. Do share with us if u want to - a listening ear always help

For myself, I've continued my life and given him a chance. But I'm pretty upset and keeps getting unwelcome images in my mind even though I decided to give him a 2nd chance and move on. Those images make me very sad and makes me wonder if i hv made the right decision to forgive him.
 
Same here. I always get very moody and upset because I can't totally forget everything even though I have forgiven. For me, even if I pass by certain shops, it reminds me of Him cheating on me and definitely have the urge to cheat on him....
 
Same here. I always get very moody and upset because I can't totally forget everything even though I have forgiven. For me, even if I pass by certain shops, it reminds me of Him cheating on me and definitely have the urge to cheat on him....
Nice to hear from u again Chubbybaby2! I'm in the same state as u...my head is very messed up from this whole thing. Cant stop those urges and mental pictures too...
 
Nice to hear from u again Chubbybaby2! I'm in the same state as u...my head is very messed up from this whole thing. Cant stop those urges and mental pictures too...

Know you are not alone :) I'm going through this phase as well. whenever I'm angry or get moody with him for anything, I think about the times when he cheated on me and in my head I secretly tell myself that he deserves the cold treatment from me because he cheated on me. But I think abt divorce everytime I am reminded of his infidelity even though he tells me that he will change and reports his whereabouts to me now 24/7, he hardly goes out anymore. But what is done cannot be undone, he already cheated on me, whatever he do now cannot change the fact that he has broken my trust and hurt me. I still cry over it from time to time.
And I think of starting a new life all over again, but then because of my kids, I got to get my thoughts back to reality. But who knows, maybe one day I might really find myself another partner who really treasures me and our relationship. I may really end the relationship by then....
 
Know you are not alone :) I'm going through this phase as well. whenever I'm angry or get moody with him for anything, I think about the times when he cheated on me and in my head I secretly tell myself that he deserves the cold treatment from me because he cheated on me. But I think abt divorce everytime I am reminded of his infidelity even though he tells me that he will change and reports his whereabouts to me now 24/7, he hardly goes out anymore. But what is done cannot be undone, he already cheated on me, whatever he do now cannot change the fact that he has broken my trust and hurt me. I still cry over it from time to time.
And I think of starting a new life all over again, but then because of my kids, I got to get my thoughts back to reality. But who knows, maybe one day I might really find myself another partner who really treasures me and our relationship. I may really end the relationship by then....
I agree that the hurt and anger will not go away so soon and the mental images make it harder to bear.

From what u wrote, ur hubby seem to be trying hard to redeem himself. Pls dun push him away again in ur anger or he may go back to his old ways!
 
I agree that the hurt and anger will not go away so soon and the mental images make it harder to bear.

From what u wrote, ur hubby seem to be trying hard to redeem himself. Pls dun push him away again in ur anger or he may go back to his old ways!

Yea. But I can't help but to think that it's so unfair that there is no consequences for him and another thing is that none of our friends or family except his mum and dad know about our problem which makes it very uncomfortable for me that I have to keep quiet and swallow my anger. Like bobian you know.
 
Yea. But I can't help but to think that it's so unfair that there is no consequences for him and another thing is that none of our friends or family except his mum and dad know about our problem which makes it very uncomfortable for me that I have to keep quiet and swallow my anger. Like bobian you know.
U will never be happy inside if u want to make him suffer for what he did. By continuing with him, u are already making a commitment to forgive and forget....my 2 cents worth...
 
U will never be happy inside if u want to make him suffer for what he did. By continuing with him, u are already making a commitment to forgive and forget....my 2 cents worth...

Actually, the reason that I have to continue being with him is also partially because I'm financially dependent on him as well.. though I'm working myself. But if we get a divorce, I might have to care for 2 of my children alone. Which I don't think I can do it... but what you say is true, by continuing the relationship means that I have agreed to forgive and forget that's why LL whenever I get upset
 
Actually, the reason that I have to continue being with him is also partially because I'm financially dependent on him as well.. though I'm working myself. But if we get a divorce, I might have to care for 2 of my children alone. Which I don't think I can do it... but what you say is true, by continuing the relationship means that I have agreed to forgive and forget that's why LL whenever I get upset
I see ur point abt having to pay for living expenses alone if divorce and he may not provide financial support. That went thru my mind too. But more importantly is the man's attitude after being found out I guess - if he brushes it off lightly then I really will leave him regardless of how financially unstable I am.
 
I see ur point abt having to pay for living expenses alone if divorce and he may not provide financial support. That went thru my mind too. But more importantly is the man's attitude after being found out I guess - if he brushes it off lightly then I really will leave him regardless of how financially unstable I am.


How is your relationship with your hubby like now? Did you talk to him abt how uncomfortable and frustrated you feel even after talking things out?
 
How is your relationship with your hubby like now? Did you talk to him abt how uncomfortable and frustrated you feel even after talking things out?
I told him in passing that i still get images of what he did. But him being him, will not voice out his reply on my comment cos he doesnt want to 'agitate' me.
 

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