MIL's traditional methods vs mine

[IronMaiden80]

Dear all,

Need some advice - I am a full-time working mother with a 10-month old boy. Mil is helping to take care of him with our helper whom we engaged recently. We are still staying together as the new place is not ready but during the weekends I will stay over at my dad's place so he can have his time with my son as well.

I came to realize that over the weekends, my son doesn't or will have difficulties passing motion. I thought it was normal for babies to have episodes of constipation after starting solids and didn't act on it as my mil and helper told me he is passing motion daily during the day under their care. When I am cooking porridge for my son, I will add 3 types of vegetables to his fish porridge whereas my mil will only add one. I have told her to add more varieties but she told me that babies don't need to eat a lot of vegetables. I do not wish to clash with her so I left it as it is as long as I do my part when I am taking care of him during the weekends.

Due to my husband's work schedule, I was unable to bring my son over to my dad's place last weekend and stayed at home with mil and helper. After feeding my son lunch, I saw my helper put a potty under my son's bottom and coaxing him to pass motion by making straining sounds. I asked her why she is doing this and she told me mdm (my mil) has been doing it all along. My son did eventually pass motion using this method. I tried noit to think too much of it. Yesterday husband and I brought baby out and again he didn't pass motion the whole day until mil coaxed him at night using the same method.

Personally I do not agree with her way of getting my son to pass motion this way and I prefer if he does it naturally at his own pace and time. I do not want him to cultivate the habit of having someone to have to coax him to pass motion but my mil sees it differently and she seemed ready to into a battle with me when I expressed my concerns over this. Should I just let it go and let her do it her way or am I right to put a stop to it? Will my son eventually outgrow this habit? Please share your thoughts with me?

Thank you in advance!

 

[kayliz]

Hi IronMaiden80,

Actually both my kids are potty trained since they are able to sit up without support (6 months). My mum who took care of them does the same thing as your MIL. She will set a certain timing each day to get them to poo, if no poo then she won't force. By the time they are old enough to express themselves, they will be able to tell me "poo poo" or point to their diaper when they need to pass motion. Since then they never pass motion on diapers, only on the potty or toilet bowl (with child seat). This is also easier since we can just flush and if diaper is not soiled still can wear again. My mum also used the same method for pee too, like every 2 hours we will bring them to the potty. With this method, my elder child was completely off diapers by the time she is 18 months. Dont worry, I do not think the child will only poo when he is on potty. If they need to go, they will go.

For veggies, for me i am also ok with at least 1 type of veg. Actually i fully understand your concern.. but if we need someone to help take care, many times we can't really voice out but for your MIL case I personally still find it acceptable. Don't worry so much ya~~

 

[IronMaiden80]

Hi IronMaiden80,

Actually both my kids are potty trained since they are able to sit up without support (6 months). My mum who took care of them does the same thing as your MIL. She will set a certain timing each day to get them to poo, if no poo then she won't force. By the time they are old enough to express themselves, they will be able to tell me "poo poo" or point to their diaper when they need to pass motion. Since then they never pass motion on diapers, only on the potty or toilet bowl (with child seat). This is also easier since we can just flush and if diaper is not soiled still can wear again. My mum also used the same method for pee too, like every 2 hours we will bring them to the potty. With this method, my elder child was completely off diapers by the time she is 18 months. Dont worry, I do not think the child will only poo when he is on potty. If they need to go, they will go.

For veggies, for me i am also ok with at least 1 type of veg. Actually i fully understand your concern.. but if we need someone to help take care, many times we can't really voice out but for your MIL case I personally still find it acceptable. Don't worry so much ya~~

Hi Kayliz,

Many thanks for your reply - I feel so much relieved now.

 

[tiggerpooh]

@IronMaiden80: I just brought my gal 2 d PD cos I tot she was having prob "pooing" Ended up PD told me dat I shldnt load too much fibres when our LOs r not "pooing" She also suggested methods like wat your MIL has been doing. There was a term she used n said it's gd habit 2 have. DD usually can poo in d morn... except she has prob lately cos there was a slight tear near her anal area. So she has been "keeping" her poo. PD said we made it worst by loading our DD wif fibres (veg / fruits). I would have preferred my mom did d way dat your MIL does.

 

[IronMaiden80]

@IronMaiden80: I just brought my gal 2 d PD cos I tot she was having prob "pooing" Ended up PD told me dat I shldnt load too much fibres when our LOs r not "pooing" She also suggested methods like wat your MIL has been doing. There was a term she used n said it's gd habit 2 have. DD usually can poo in d morn... except she has prob lately cos there was a slight tear near her anal area. So she has been "keeping" her poo. PD said we made it worst by loading our DD wif fibres (veg / fruits). I would have preferred my mom did d way dat your MIL does.

Hi Tiggerpooh,

I guess sometimes traditional methods do work better than modern ways Husband said as long as baby is passing motion everyday, we shouldn't worry too much... Thank you too for sharing!