1. We've compiled a list of frequently asked questions and their answers at http://singaporemotherhood.com/forum/threads/faq-on-using-the-new-forum.21478/

** Losing my job !! Anyone can help ? Mentally down and need a job to support my baby ! Help me Please !!!!

Discussion in 'Year 2010 Mums' started by jocelyntsm, Mar 22, 2010.

  1. jocelyntsm

    jocelyntsm New Member

    Hi All



    If you know anyone willing to employ pregnant mum to be, please let me know.



    My boss has been picking on me and the whole company doesnt seem like me around.



    My boss has employ someone to take over my job and he keep picking on me.



    I had been mentally down and is very tired of this. I am sick and tired on giving it my last fight.



    I had a strong feeling that they will be firing me today as they had proposely ask me to go back office at 4.30pm today which i will have nothing to do for half of the day.



    I really very sick and tired of all this type treatment.



    Can anyone help me please ?



    Thanks

     
  2. september

    september Active Member

    if you did not make any big mistake, then file a complain to Ministry of Manpower.

     
  3. jocelyntsm

    jocelyntsm New Member

    I had tried talking to my boss, asking them if i did anything wrong. They wont tell me.

    I told them, if i did anything wrong, please tell me, i will amend or change for the better but they just kept quiet.



    Its really scary and make me worry daily about my work.



    I know i can file a complain to MOM if there is no mistake make but they are using excuses like slack performance to attack me.



    They are not communciating with me on whats wrong with me. I also not sure what i did wrong.

    If i make a mistake, please tell me and i am willing to change and work for the better.



    Its a painful for me. I am like sobbing daily.



    Its bad for me and my baby. I really need help.



    I can only wish for the best and let them decide my faith.



    [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

     
  4. juv

    juv Member

    if it is due to slack performance, the company must show proof that they have spoken to you on several occassions but there is no improvement. Are you still on probation?

     
  5. jocelyntsm

    jocelyntsm New Member

    Nope



    They had only spoken to me once only

     
  6. yv0nne

    yv0nne Member

    jocelyn, i got asked to leave..



    pls go to the MOM now before they ask u to leave or wad. and remember DONT tender if they ask u to leave. And MOM can only do things if ur company sack u within 6 months before ur EDD.



    If u feel pressured or wad, pls go book an appt n see MOM and tell them what u feel now. They will launch a investigation. only do this when u feel tt u r leaving d company liao..



    REMEMBER: DONT TENDER URSELF. only if they terminate u, MOM can fight for ur 4 months maternity benefits!

     
  7. jocelyntsm

    jocelyntsm New Member

    Thank you Yvonne.



    Will note your advice.



    I will not resign.



    I will see if they terminate me or just keep on pick on me .



    Hope you are well now.

     
  8. lovelybun

    lovelybun Member

    They are not suppose to do that as its against e law...go to MOM and ask for advice..n please do nt be sad cause BB will be sad too..tink of BB and all will be good

    Cheer up babe.

     
  9. jocelyntsm

    jocelyntsm New Member

    Thank you LT.



    I will try to stay cheerful. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

     
  10. strawberrys79

    strawberrys79 Member

    Hi Jocelyn,



    Like what LT said, dun resign or be force into resigning, meanwhile still try to do your work as well as you can.



    don't let them affect you. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] take care!

     
  11. jocelyntsm

    jocelyntsm New Member

    Thank you strawberry.



    I will not resign. i will see what they can do, i will do whatever i can to stay in the job.



    [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

     
  12. kuehdahdah

    kuehdahdah Member

    Jocelyn,



    stay strong. How many months pregnant are you now?



    I understand how you feel, don't cry everyday, it's bad for baby. Jia you! Not matter how bad things are now, it will end. Try your best to drop all the ill feelings invoked by the lousy company after work.

     
  13. sheryl85

    sheryl85 Active Member

    stay strong for ur baby!~ MOM will be there to back mummies like us~ dun worry and put too much ya li on urself!!

     
  14. maybemummy

    maybemummy Member

    This seems to be a common issue with companies in S'pore. Although the government is encouraging woman to bear more kids but unfortunately unscrupolous company such as this one makes it hard for woman to have a baby. The best option is to speak to MOM and get them to lodge an investigation do not let such companies get away with treating pregnant woman with such disrespect. if they have an issue with your performance proper process and procedures needs to be followed and documented and from what I read they have not complied.

     
  15. jocelyntsm

    jocelyntsm New Member

    I am currently 15 weeks pregnant and its tough for me to stay clear of mind. My mind keep thinking that i will lose my job. I will try to keep myself happy and so will my baby.



    I am working hard to keep myself employ. I am really stress out but i will try to stay cherrful for the sake of my baby.



    Thanks all for your encouragement.



    Here i understand that i have someone who understand how i feel and can advise what to do.



    Really a big THANK to all of you.



    I will still need to work harder to keep myself happy and in the job.



    [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

     
  16. the_gift

    the_gift Member

    Hi Jocelyn,



    Stay strong and positive.

    Guess the reason your boss is not communicating with you is they want you to tender so that they dun have to pay you the 4 mths maternity benefit.

    Just stay positive at work and do your best.

     
  17. jocelyntsm

    jocelyntsm New Member

    Thank you Angel.



    I will stay as positive as possible.

     
  18. health

    health New Member

    Hi jocelyn,



    its hard to handle work stress and your own mental stress esp when you are expecting...

    My heart goes out to you...



    However, responding to your 1st post i actually have an opening and seriously, i do not mind if you are pregnant or not...

    I welcome part time and full time, call me some day if you are still considering..

     
  19. tt8310

    tt8310 New Member

    Hi Jocelyn,



    Be strong and stay happy! Though you are only 15 weeks pregnant, but trust me, your baby can feel it. So, for the good of the baby, you must stay calm and cheerful.



    p/s: if you are considering other options, pm me.

     
  20. jocelyntsm

    jocelyntsm New Member

    tt8310 & health - how am i suppose to contact you ? how can i know more about the details ?



    I will try to be strong but it is very tiring to keep on fighting. its really very stress and tiring. I been trying to be strong and try to stay cheerful but when ppl around you are behaving so badly to you. you will really like to think twice about it.

     
  21. karena

    karena New Member

    Hi Jocelyn, pls be strong n try to hold on~



    Me too, have similiar experience. Tendered my resignation B4 i knew I preggie, then they keep on wanting me to stay which I did, BUT they did not give me back the letter. 2 weeks later, I knew abt my pregnancy, told them abt it, their attitude 360deg CHANGED!



    Once I took MC cos of my severe morning sickness, the next day, gave me excuse saying that cos of my pregnancy, productivity will be low n will affect work. I was so pissed off, moment of anger, I say very well, I resign immediate lor! N they somemore can say I no need to give them any notice period of 1 month cos the letter is still with them!



    So, u see, this is 1 of their MEANS to force you to leave~

     
  22. sheryl85

    sheryl85 Active Member

    I think all mummies face empolyment wif local companies esp working with small firms.



    For mi, i'm having gynae visits issues and leave prob. Cos my #1 frm previous marriage wasn't legal hence no benifits.



    Now expecting #2, my leave nor mc isnt even enuf to cover. Gynae MC i dunno if they do accept but i'm trying to push for it.



    Aft birth, they request mi to take onli 1mth maternity stating they are reali super short-handed if i go for straight 4mth.



    But my plan was to go for 3mths, keep that additional 1mth as back-up leave. But i think they wun allow..



    At a lost now also, to take 3mths or 4mths straight..

     
  23. september

    september Active Member

    kids from previous marriage why no benefits? wat u mean by nt legal?



    then if company dun allow u to take all 4 months, then how are they gng to compensate you? i do heard of companies paying their staff for those maternity leave they do not take. do check it clearly wif ur company.

     
  24. health

    health New Member

    Hi Jocelyn,



    I believe i replied your email already...

    Hope you seriously consider and give yourself a chance to change your life...And give me a chance to HELP you change your life...



    Cheers...

     
  25. sheryl85

    sheryl85 Active Member

    not legally married to the father hw to be eligable for gov benifits?



    ya, do haf to check on that.

     
  26. lingbel

    lingbel New Member

    Hi Jocelyn

    Mark your EDD date on the Calendar, Whenever U feel frustrated and angry, look at the date and calm now. Always feel happy and relac. Tell yourself, my company is paying me to sit here, I dun tender, see what U can do to me...



    If U realy wanna tender after U taken all the leave, then tender

     
  27. tt8310

    tt8310 New Member

  28. yoyoblue

    yoyoblue Member

    Hi mummies, my company pays me well but they dont know i am pregnant till now. I am almost 24weeks. I wear big clothing thus nobody knows. I am waiting for 26 weeks than i will informed them.



    Especially private sector, once they know we pregnant, we are handicap to them. They torture us mentally. The pressure makes us wanting to Quit. So better keep quite, dont tell the anything, received normal treatment.



    My buddy lost her job, they retrenced her when she is 20weeks pregnant. MOM does not help her at all, they just tell her to deliver earlier 7t month so that she can claim from the EXcompany.

    She did not informed company her pregnancy but she is BLUR , she wear pregnancy cloting, as her tummy is expending.



    I had checked with MOM two matters



    After 3 months pregnancy - Company cannot terminate a staff. IF ther TERMINATE they have to pay your 2 months maternity leaved.



    After 6 months pregnancy - Company cannot Retrenced a staff. If they do so they have to pay your 2 months maternity.



    But all the above still means you lost a job for few months and nobody want to hire a pregnant woman. So better keep quite, take annual leaved and Medical leaved for check up to avoid company to find out. Unless we work in GOVErment service we can declare our pregnancy earlier cause goverment would not go bankrupt and they obliged MOM law.



    Do not resigned is my adviced. Stay cool. My job is tougher cause i am in Safety LINE. So i have to do alot of work, Diving also at times but now i told Doctor to state i am Asthma patient so i cant dive temporary till next year..

     
  29. jocelyntsm

    jocelyntsm New Member

    Dear All



    For me, i cant hide my stomach, my stomach start showing when i am 2 months preggy.



    sheryl, if i am not wrong, you are still entitle to the 2 months benefit that the government give. Company additional 2 months you may not be able to receive.



    Health, can we talk thru email about what you mention ?



    I am in my 16 weeks soon and i hope all will be smooth running and just sit in office, do what i am task to do, dont do less and of course with some initaitve and try to see if its improve.



    I have decided to clear my leave the during the last month of my preggy. meaning i will choose to go on leave on my 36 weeks. while it seem like i have another 20 weeks to go. I only wish this 20 weeks to be flying pass (during at work) and slowing down whenever i do my scan and relaxing at home (enjoying myself).



    I think i am trying to be strong. I am like having teary eyes daily at night, my hubby is worry but also he find in annoying. Maybe God wants me to learn it thru my life journet thru it.



    Count down to 36 weeks!!!!! (20 weeks to go)



    [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

     
  30. september

    september Active Member

    Siti,



    I dun think the above compensation will apply if u deliberately hide your pregnancy from your empolyer lor....

     
  31. yoyoblue

    yoyoblue Member

    I email MOM and asked when i was 12 weeks pregnant, i still keep the email for documentation proof against my employer. MOM say it is not a must for us to tell our employee if we are pregnant.



    We can even informed 1 week before we go into labour. Unless it stated in our working contract it is a must to tell the employer. Than there is a breach.



    http://www.mom.gov.sg/publish/momportal/en/communities/workplace_standards/employment_standards0/Maternity_Leave.html#eeo



    You can see above link under Advice to Both Employees and Employers .

     
  32. yoyoblue

    yoyoblue Member

    A company does not have a heart. Some are so mean that they find fault with you and due to stress you loss the baby.



    Only human have heart, but due to system in the company they become heartless. They refused to pay the maternity leaved for 2 months ( For 1st & 2nd baby ) they find fault with you till yoi resigned or they terminate or retrenced you.



    Lucky i am having 3rd child so 1st-4th month maternity Goverment will pay during my employment.

    If company retrenced me after i declare 6 months pregnant, than they have to pay my 2 months another 2 months will be goverment.



    This is not about hiding or cheating, this about benefit goverment gives us and some employers take advantage of pregnant woman like us. we are like handicap to them.

     
  33. sakie

    sakie New Member

    I'm pregnant and I got laid off. I'm currently 32 weeks and it's not worth looking for work now as no one would hire me or holds a position for me. I'm the bread-winner of my family. I can only advise you to look on the positive side; otherwise you may experience a very negative pregnancy since your body is now going through major hormonal imbalance which also causes great mood swing. If you allow too much stress and negatives into your life during this time, you may even experience a more severe postpartum syndrome. Take this opportunity to enjoy motherhood; and again, look on the bright side.

     
  34. health

    health New Member

    Hi SAKIE,



    Regarding your posts, I believe I can help...

    PM me if you still looking for an opportunity...

     
  35. zolldoll

    zolldoll Member

    Hi, i was in the same flight as you few months back before i delivered my gal. My boss is one very horrible man, and he tried all ways and means to make me go on my own accord. I was very sad and depressed and did not know what to do. Wanted to resign but felt silly in doing so and forfeiting all my maternity benefits. He used to be very nice to me till i was pregnant.



    Almost soon when he knew i fell pregnant, he assigned another girl to take over all my duties leaving me to feel useless and not having to do do anything. Next, he made me feel very small by the words he used or by showing me his black face almost daily too. I tried tolerating as much as i could and did it. My advice is if you cant, then take maybe one whole month of unpaid leave, that still beats resigning and you need not see them for a month before you deliver. You can destress and be happy for a month before delivery.



    Good luck, all the best.

     
  36. babedreamz

    babedreamz New Member

    hi jocelyn,



    Is this your first pregnancy? I empathize your situation and i was once in your shoe. Hear from us, you must stay strong and hold your stand firm. In Singapore, pregnant women has protection from MOM. Don't fall for anything, just do your daily work like usual. Business is as usual even if you have any physical disabilities or pregnant.



    Pregnancy is not a disability and women have to perform as normal. In fact pregnant women is putting in additional effort and double productivity, fyi.



    Stay put and be strong, for yourself and for your future.

     
  37. mummytiger

    mummytiger New Member

    Mummies,



    Just hang in there.

    Somehow i feel that bosses, especially male boss, have this type of problem. They cannot understand woman's pregnancy cos they will never have the chance to experience it.



    Sad to say, I am also facing the same problem.

    I used to have good working relationship with my boss - male. Now he is worst than MCP/Bastard!! The day I informed him about my pregnancy, this is where it all started or "begin" to change.



    He started to load me with lots of double workload, very unreasonable workload. Lots of last minutes request and expect immediate response. Hand me with difficult tasks and expect wonderful results!!In summary.. he is going "all out" to make your life miserable.



    This is my first pregnancy, after 2 years in the company, i dun feel that i am taking any advantages from the company or from him personally. Yet he can react in "funny" ways. He cannot get over the ideas of 16wks maternity leaves.



    He also have a family - wife n kids, yet he cannot understand everyone wants/needs to start a family too!!



    For many months, i dragged myself to office, enduring his "torturing" treatments day-by-day. As i keep telling myself.... soon.. soon.. baby is coming out. Feel positive... be cheerful.. else baby will be affected.



    For me.... now i am on my last lap... going for ML soon, but not soon enough. Anxiously waiting to "get away" and have some peace of minds. Long periods under "pyscho" torture.. might affect own self.





    I sincerely hope that.... people that do not have compassion towards mummies... will get to "feel" it someday... somehow... get the similar experience. I believe in Karma.. retribution... God is watching us [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

    "What goes around.. comes around"

    "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

     
  38. Hi mummy tiger,



    I am using my wife acct to say this.

    Wat you say is true, those male bosses are really ridiculous.



    I have my own nutrition club and i need some help.

    For those mummies who are experiencing difficulties at work can contact me. I will help those who ask for it and i do not mind if you are preggy or not. All are welcome

     
  39. jocelyntsm

    jocelyntsm New Member

    Hi all



    I am getting better day by day. I will focus on my work and start to like " you talk all you want, and i just do my job and my best". Now i dont bother about what others say, just do my work. My boss just give me work and i just do my best. Cant finish, i tell him that i cant do some much and will finish tomorrow for him.



    Its just life and i have a baby boy coming soon. I should not let this bring me down. I am beginning to plan my daily thinking. Meaning plan to buy things for baby, imagine this and that. staying positive. This make me more happier in work.



    Yes i agree, God is watching and i will be better and get stronger day by day - beside we are mum to be or Mum. Nothing is more difficult than to see your baby grow and learn.



    Thanks you mummies for your encouragement.



    [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

     
  40. eun

    eun New Member

    Hi Jocelyn,



    Stay Strong! Do drop us a good news with your new born baby. I would be willing to help if you need any job vacancy which I can ask from my previous colleagues Hr/acct/ admin etc.



    Take care.

     
  41. crescent

    crescent Member

    me oso looking for job till now since i was told to leave previously in feb when he found out i was preggy...

     
  42. tt8310

    tt8310 New Member

    Hi Cresent, PM me. I'm hiring. We can have a chat to see if u fit the role.



    Any mum who has been asked to leave just because u r preggy, pls pm me. I have a few vacancies to be filled.

     
  43. yoyoblue

    yoyoblue Member

    tt8310 - Very kind of you to offer Preggy mums jobs. God Bless kind person like you.



    I had told my employers i am pregnant for 27 weeks.



    No comments yet waiting for them to drop the bomb shelf.

     
  44. crescent

    crescent Member

    tt8310 - i have alr dropped u a pm

     
  45. health

    health New Member

    Hi all preggy mums and SAHMs...



    I have some vacancies in my company as well...

    Pls contact me if you are keen...



    I am willing to take you in anytime you are ready to start...

     
  46. sharmini

    sharmini New Member

    hi there, i am new to this page and was reading the forum.. well i am also currently umemployed and i'm desperately looking for a job as its extremely hard on my hubby. and i am afraid i am getting bored facing the wall almost every minute. if anyone is knows any vacancy is it possible u could inform.. thank u so much

     
  47. callmew

    callmew New Member

    i am facing similar situation as Jocelyn too.. feeling very down and depressed recently..

    facing a dilemma if I should quit my job anot..



    I recently just joined a new company for 3 weeks already, when I went for interview, i wasn't preg, it was during the time when i was serving notice at previous company then discover i was preg.



    after 1 wk working here, i tell my immediate boss that I am preg, because my job require me to travel ard singapore, and also travel to US. after telling him, he express understanding. but he actually went to inform the HR and Director.



    later the HR actually called me and say they will be extending my probation till after my maternity leave - no reason given when i asked them , but i will still be entitled maternity leave if i have completed 3 mths of service according to the SG govt law.



    i feel very discriminated and unjustified.

    shouldn't confirmation be based on work performance ?

    ok this is the first unhappiness i felt in this company



    next, the moment they knew i am preg, they kinda "down grade" me, my position is supposed to be doing marketing & management tasks, but they make me do all sorts of clerical jobs, like print, filing, binding, pick up calls, keep track of appointments etc,

    whenever there is any important meeting or event, my immediate boss will tell me you take a rest and handle back end office work, you no need to go. this end up alot of people in this company guessing how come I don't have to attend. and now almost the whole company know i am preg, cos the HR big mouth go around gossip, and now people treat me see me differently. making me very difficult to adapt to new environment.



    I wonder if this is a plot, trying not to make me perform, and feel difficult at work so that i can resign on my own, or they can extend the probation "officially" based on reasons that I cannot contribute.



    next the 3rd unhappiness, is my workplace is actually in industrial area, every morning / noon time, evening when i knock off, will smell of the strong COCOA smell in the air, i really want to puke. I very worried it will be harmful to my lil one.



    and my office is not ready yet, now I am being seated with 2 smokers in the same room, every day at 10am, 1pm, 4pm, they will smoke outdoor and they will come back smelling of strong cigar smell ! I really don't want to become 2nd hand smokers esp my lil one is now developing ...i have already told them I cannot take the smell and I report to HR and my boss, but they did not do anything simply tell me, ok noted. so frustrating !



    every day i feel very depressed in coming to work having headache what should I ta-pao for breakfast and lunch, because eating is a problem here, there is no canteen, no eatery.



    I have no lunch kaki at work also..



    worse still..yest i had diarhoea, and i went to raffles medical company appointed clinic,

    but company refuse to pay for the medical bills cos i am still on probation ! pissed no wonder they say wanna extend my probation. have very strong feeling they are trying all means to make me leave



    at 9wks preg now, i know i should be happy and think positive...so i tender last fri, but my boss asked me to stay on, i take back my letter, but still wondering if i shd quit



    if i quit, it is difficult to find another job at this period as many companies refuse to hired preg woman. a few job agrency called me, but the moment they knew I preg, they did not get back to me.



    facing a real dilemma if I should quit or not.

    If i do so, I will lose the 4 mths maternity leave and income...am I very stupid ???



    I really regret my decision to enter this company ,never expect this company to turn out different from what they say during interview !



    sorry for such a long post......

     
  48. september

    september Active Member

    I will say juz bear wif it and hand on there....if u change ur mindset that they are out to make u quit, u will feel happier. Juz take it tat they do not want to overwork u and let u take on lighter job scope nw so tat ur little one can grow well. so mayb tat y they extend ur probation until after ur ML...so tat once u back from ML u can start to take on the actual job scope u apply for.



    as for the smoker coglis, as long as they dun smoke in front of u it shld be ok....if u can stand the smell...then rub some axe oil or shang biao you to block off those smell u dun like lor...



    if u open up, and take the 1st step to talk to ur new coglis, i believe, u will soon hv lunch kaki and frenz at work soon.



    remember, juz take it tat ur company and immediate boss are being nice to u by letting u take on a lighter job scope first....as they still hv to arrange within themselves to hv someone cover u for the post u apply for at the moment till ur baby is born.

     
  49. christine77sg

    christine77sg New Member

    Currently I m 16 wks preg.



    I infm my immediate boss (male) of my preg immediately after I get to knw abt it. Cos due to my condition, I hv to tak MCs and HLs. My boss is vry nice. He asks me not to worry and just relax. As I hv impt pjts on hand w tight datelines, he passed these pjts to another colleague.



    My main job was to handle projects. But my boss doesn't giv me anymore new pjts and I m currently doing more back stage duties which involves mainly the MD and my immediate boss. So most colleagues thought I m jus a free lodger...everyday jsu sit in office, no wk and jus get paid. Some not so nice colleagues will pass nasty comments and mak things difficult for me at wk.



    Actually, I c 2 scenario here.

    1) Boss strip us off impt duties.(As in my case) Maks us feel useless and we get nasty comments and reactions fr nasty colleagues due to "red eyes". But some bosses mayb doing this for gd intention, just like my boss. (I really appreciate him, although I can't help feeling lousy at times for being seen as "useless")



    2)Boss double our workload. This cld be to force us to resign or thy jus wan us to clear our wk b4 delivery.



    I think there really is no perfect situation. It is jus hw we handle it. For me, I try to ignore those nasty comments and think of my baby. I also try to get together with encouraging colleagues to make me feel more positive.

     
  50. hunnymummy

    hunnymummy Member

    I just want to share my experience and lessons learnt months ago.It's a long post but hope it'll help mummies out there[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



    I worked in a company from Trainee up to an executive employee for 3 years plus.3 months Into the third year, I found out that I was pregnant. I then told my HR after 3 months into the pregnancy because I had just transferred from accounts to MICE department begining of the year and was now taking more MCs due to early pregnancy ailments and doctor's visits and upsetting my new dept head.HR then told my HOD and I was given less workload, cut off all site inspections, and later, under the disguise of unsatisfactory performance, my performance appraisal was bad and my probation was first postponed, then terminated and I got transferred to Security dept to handle admin. My HR director dared me to go to MOM, saying that internal transfer, as long as the nature of the job and benefits are the same, even if you are not agreeable, the law will still be on their side.



    During that time, I was very depressed. I wanted very much to resign and I know it will be much better for baby also, as the company is known for this kinda wicked acts and they will not stop giving me a hard time until i resign.i was unwilling to take on the new role they assigned to me as that was not wad i wanted when i joined the company.However, my DH wasn't earning a good pay and we would be super tight if I lose my job.But in the end, i still left.Who knoes wad would have happened if i stayed on. i may have more money to spend, but the un happiness may reflect in the mood of my baby, and be with her for the rest of her life. What if i got over stressed and lost her?Money and baby, i chose baby.

    Now, 4 months after her arrival, no paid maternity leave although i worked for a long time before my pregnant days with this company, but I have no regrets.I must say we are indeed very short of money.But without money we can survive. If i lose her then over earning more money, i would definitely regret for life.Money can be made, spend wisely and you'll be ok.You learn prudence along the way and the tough times makes your stick closer together and weather it out!i believe we'll laugh at the memories when our kids are grown ups and we're grey.



    But i have this advice for mtbs in this predicament.You can have the cake and eat it too.After you divulge your pregnancy to anyone, prepare yourself mentally to take things easy and place baby over everything else. At the end of the day, you didn't wanted baby for the money, but you wanted money for the baby.get your priorities right. if you dun focus on the job and your expectations in it, then you will not be upset by it, wadever happens.until you are sure the company still treasures you and you can still do your part for the company, just do your best in tasks assigned to you, the lighter the job the better, don't expect wad is initially offered. Go to work happily everyday, until the end, if they terminate you, take a deep breath, make sure you get the termination letter, then pack your things and go.If that is such a company, it's good to know it early so you do not pin your hopes high working in the company.When things turn ugly, just be practical and not emotional or sentimental about anything.if they know feelings, they wouldn't do wad they did.the bottomline now is, you must get the maternity benefits.after you pack your things and leave officially. Ask your HR about the 2 months paid maternity leave.The reason you only bring up after you have officially left is so that they will not eat their words and u-turn their actions in a bid to make that part worth - they might as well use you since they're payign you for it - then you'll be in for a longer time of bearing with their nonsense.at this point, you just need them to deny you maternity benefits. Best is to have the issue documented like email or conversation with time, who said wad and word for word jotted down and witness(people around)you can get a friend or your hubby to follow you to the company.You'll have a use for it when you approach MOM later.no need to let them know.just proceed. if possible to stay on,treat their actions and words like kids, don't take it to heart.After work, forget about everything, go home and hug hubby, go shopping, watch movie and do wadever makes you happy.Later on when bay arrived, no more time for these activities already[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] it will do you good if you can earn your way to birth of your child.Becos the money will be impt.That is, however, unless you honestly can do it without affecting yourself and baby, getting depressed all day and night over wad they do or say, i left becos i cant. if that's the case, leaving is the best option. You will not regret. My baby girl is easy to look after because she feels happy and secured, just as i was after i resign, albeit living on maggie and bread for 2 meals followed by a proper nutritious and balanced dinner daily throughout my pregnancy. Her temperament is good because without the influence of others and their stupid actions, i can decide whether to be happy or not.She is healthier than most of babies her age- she's more than a 75% baby!You do need quality food so my proper dinner made up for everything needed for the day!Afterall how many meals you eat a day are healthy?sometimes, not even the dinner is nutritious and balanced.The most important part of the human body is the brain - the state of it determines the wellbeing of the other parts.So happiness is the most important food for baby - being loved and support by DH and the excitement of the new arrival is enough to keep me busy and happy!More so if you're expecting a boy!during my pregnan days, i read in a medical journal that estrogen levels can overpower testoterone levels when mummies get too emotional and upset all the time and girls dun produce testosterone, so wad will that do to the baby boy when his testosterone levels diminishes and no replacement for it?He becomes more feminine than he should be!!dun expect things to turn out well if things has started to turn for the worse.Everyday you go back to the company to work is a bonus, an opportunity to exercise and keep fit before you're stuck at home from the point you're out.All in all, be happy, be confident, be prepared, be healthy and all the best to mommy and baby!i'm sure everything's worth it.Afterall, you may not miss working after baby arrived[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]Trust me*wink!*Safe delivery and take care!!

     
  51. jolinr

    jolinr New Member

    Actually i don't quite understand, the salary that our employer pays us during our maternity leave is claimable from government, right? They are not losing actually, but how come they still treated pregnant mum in this way?

     
  52. callmew

    callmew New Member

    I truly feel hunnymummy 's words are very well-said !!



    same Sentimentals exactly !!

    my situation is very much like hunnymummy



    further to my earlier post, I have tendered resignation despite the loss of a highly paid salary & 4 mths maternity. I faced alot of exclamation from friends though, sounding out to me that I am so silly etc but only true friends and Mummies who will truly understand the need and priority of placing your baby and health above anything else after hearing my story!



    I tender my resignation when i was in week 11.

    Before that I was in a great dilemma and was in great depression, causing not only depression and stress to the unborn baby inside me, but also my hubby and parents who truly cared for me, their heart ache seeing me like this.



    At week 11, I was already feeling much better in my Morning sickness already. but situation in the office doesn't get much better. it was becoming worse. Director (who is also overseeing HR) wanted my GM to reassign job JD. isn't things obvious ? and whenever she saw me, she will start to give me the kind of "i dun like you" stare look. and other dept see me as a free lodging & clerk as well, started to scream at me at slightest thing, many times alot of things are unknown to me or not my fault at all. I cannot scold back, because I am pregnant. I tolerated I expressed my displease to my GM, but my GM is also facing the same treatment, so he just asked me to let go. everyday i go back feeling down. and i can sense baby inside feeling likewise because I started feeling nauseous again which i don't experience during weekends when I am not working and by right the MS nauseous shd be subsidizing.



    I read, when you are stress up, or low in spirits, your hormones tend to be up to help you maintain stability in your pregnancy. and these hormones causes you terrible sickness.



    now I am into my week 15. just started staying at home to "yang Tai" for 2 days...

    I admit I started off feeling a bit out of place on Day 1, because seeing everyone going to work, while I go to market for breakfast, doesn't feel good..i started thinking about the Money, alot of "what if" comes across my mind. feeling useless, feeling the loss of a high paid salary...tears fall again in the evening..Hubby comforted me, told me, though we have no money, but we are happy, he never feel so happy and peaceful before, I should feel the same too.



    today i feel calm. because I know the baby inside me is happy...after reading hunnymummy post, i feel more glad too...this is my first baby, i definitely want my baby to be a happy, secured baby. not a crybaby like me...so I will go on and tell myself to be strong.



    one of my friends is encouraging me to open up for business opportunity...



    i wrote my pregnancy journal this morning..

    recalling back the joy and happiness when first knew i was pregnant, yet the next moment, all the ups&downs emotionally, suddenly feel i have given too much stress to baby from week 5 - week 11..time to make up for baby...



    i surf the net looking at cute babies pictures...

    thinking of what I can help my hubby, eg iron his clothes, so that he can focus on his career

    thinking how to take care of myself eg ensure I drink enough water, eat regularly...

    thinking how to make myself light hearted...

    watch a comedy , enjoy music...



    my friend told me, her 5 mths old baby like to laugh out loud, she feels this probably due partly of her pregnancy, she was taking things positive and light-hearted. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] i definitely feel the truth in what hunnymummy says. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



    yes now I am still looking out for a job...i try not to lose hope..though i know the chances of getting a job /company that hire a pregnant woman may be low, though I want to lower down my expectations. but still, never know until you try..so i just try..whenever i see a suitable posting will just apply first.



    [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



    meanwhile, this is a 6 mths holiday break for me, till delivery..

    yes yes.. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

    i keep telling myself, i worked for almost 7 years..never never really have a break, i don't need any travelling trips...i just need some time by myself, time to do things i like, relax and sleep the way i always want and not restricted by weekends ..now is the time to do it !



    4 months maternity leave ???

    forget it forget it...



    yes ... there are many things you need to buy for newborn baby, for your pregnancy, ...but we can always scrimp and buy 2nd hand or ask for handsdown..



    but there are many many more things you cannot buy with money...laughter, smiles, happiness, blissful ... [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

     
  53. callmew

    callmew New Member

    i was thinking through Jolin (jolinr) question.

    most companies have this sterotype thinking pregnant women will not give their heart and soul in their work, and tend to skive taking MC to go on gynae reviews etc..but have they think about, what about those smokers ? haven't they been taking breaks every now and then from work and went on smoking breaks ?? and what about those who surf net, play facebook, watch youtude in office ? aren;t they even worse than pregnant women ??



    actually personally now being a pregnant women, i feel they are even more hardworking than others because they know they need a job more than any others if possible and all they hope is employer can be understanding. it is reeally tiring especially your body going through so much changes, and yet you are trying to give the best to the company



    at the same time, actually the government may have overlook this factor, by giving 4 months maternity is actually depriving many women from being productive, because company tend to discriminate them instead !!!!

    government intention of giving 4 months is to encourage working women to give birth, but many knew if they are preggie, the company might discriminate them !!



    so why is the 4 months / 2 months claimable from govt, given to only working women ??

    cos govt want productivity yet also want babies...

    singaporean women are deemed as super women ???



    what about those stay at home mums, or pregnant women who can't find a job ?? shouldn't the government be thinking of them as well ?

    they are doing their part as well to produce little singaporeans for singapore as well !!



    well perhaps they prefer to give the tax-payers $$ to support the growing population of FT...rather than taking care of true singaporeans who are burden down by difficulties of finding a job in midst of pregnancy..

     
  54. jocelyntsm

    jocelyntsm New Member

    Dear All mummie



    image your babies been unhappy inside you !!!



    You will start to cheer yourself up.



    I am not the only one who will tell you that, But i think i have been thru the low period and i start to think of my future for the baby. They can ask you to left your job but they cant ask you not to want your baby. Decision will be hard to make and time may be tough. I think i learn to bite the bullets and look at things on the better sides.



    They can bully me and make me work like hell but i keeping myself in the job is for myself and my baby. Get yourself a life, speak to us (mummies to be in this forum) and i think i get lots of support and courage. You will know not it its not end of the world.



    Baby moving inside your body is something that not a 2nd person can share. We should just enjoy it. God will provide. Family will help, Friends will support and encourage.



    The world will be better day by day. Remember whats goes around comes around. If they bully you, someday someone will bully them. Remember been kind and good to ppl will help you to be more happy and help to gain good karma for your baby. You can always resign anything you want or just leave after your maternity but happiness during the period of time relay on your mind and your doing.



    Take a deep breath and look at the bright side, your baby is by your side.



    Like i am writing this now, my little one is moving in my body and supporting the things i write.



    To all Mummies - JIA YOU.



    [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

     
  55. crescent

    crescent Member

    sharing my experience, I was retrenched in Feb after my ex-company founds out that i'm pregnant, but i'm not able to get any compensation/ maternity benefits due to I was 1 week short from my 3mth. Till now i have been looking out for a job...



    I got an offer on last tue and was goin to sign the letter, but after make known to them that i am pregnant & going to due in aug, they rejected me.



    I'm very stressed & depressed now due to being jobless and financial wise is very tight as my hubby's take home pay is ard 2k plus less then 3k and we have lots of bills to pay.. not to mention the delivery charges etc....

     
  56. angrylamb

    angrylamb New Member

    hi,i've gt 3 kids n my youngest is 10mths old.i'm oso facing alot of stress at wrk too.my boss is a male n i'm e only sg mther in my dep.there r mummies too but r malaysians.so their kids r in jb.i take care of my kids at nite myself.all 3 will slp with me.my colleagues r olways complaining n gossiping behind me dat i'm owaz on leave or mc.my boss will oso join them in gossiping.i'm rili tired of this work life too n no motivation at all.sme times my boss cn even ask me hw cum i cn't ask my mum or other family members to help bring them to doc take care of them.i mean,yup,my mum is helping me n i gt 2 maids.but they cn only help me but nt take over my responsibilities as a mum rite?my mum is also suffering from depression.so i rili cn't leave her wif kids for too long or wen they're sick.my boss transferred me to another division which requires to work long wrking hours n he's nt increasing my ot allowance.he used to be my ass manager but coz my actual boss retired so he's promoted to my boss nw.he oso stated to me that he WILL NOT approve any of my upl if i ever finish my al.he transferred me over coz he don like me to go bac early.i official time is 5.30pm but i leave bout 6+pm.nw i start at 8.30am n leave earliest 9.30 smetimes 10pm.i gt to wrk on sat too.i cn't do anyting coz i gt no qualifications.so i cn't resign as will be difficult for me to find jobs dat pay me as much as nw as i've wrked in tis co for bout 5 yrs.tho considered low for a 5 yrs service but no choice lor.there's nothing i cn do as my boss picks on me. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] i feel that government wants us to hav mre kids but oni verbally sets law but nt much actions.rili puts us mums in a dilemma.

     
  57. callmew

    callmew New Member

    Hi Lamb & crescent, do not feel despair...

    at this moment must cheer up and take things easy

    for the sake of the little one inside us...



    i agree with Lamb, our govt wants us to have more kids but only verbally ...there are NO laws that protect pregnant women from discrimination etc

    unlike in other countries, there are laws that protect pregnant, for instance if employer unreasonable increase work or reject you (after they express interest in hiring you) upon knowing you are pregnant ..etc..they can be fined / face penalty



    too bad our government do not see this ...



    well..so we have to depend on ourselves...



    crescent, we can explore ways to earn income

    it may not be as much as before, but at least we know we are putting on efforts to help ourselves and earn some pocket money for baby..use what you are good at and see if they can help you earn some income...for myself, i am good in handicrafts, so i did some corsages and try to sell online..



    lamb, understand how you feel...dun bother what people say people do...focus on yourself and baby, tell yrself you must hold on to the job for the sake of $ and baby

    they want to pick on you, let them be, so long you have clear conscience. it may be unbearable, but keep reminding yourself, they are not related to you....you have a husband that love you, parents who cares for you...what's more impt than these. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



    I also been through the depression stage..

    especially shortly after I left my job per above

    i feel useless and feel the financial stain when my hubby tells me we need to save on this and that

    I breakdown and keep crying...



    but thanks to my hubby and parents and friends...they encourage and did not give up on me

    they give me ideas on what i can do at home, and help to relieve my hubby burden for instance, help to do some light housework like wiping, cleaning the pots etc, and cook a nice dinner for hubby, so that he gets to eat homecooked food after a hard day at work. at this moment, hubby may not be earning alot, but every cents count so mentally yr hubby must feel yr support as well since he is bringing the bacon back

    at home, you can also surf net...no need to buy first hand for baby stuffs...we can get 2nd hand stuffs ask around...



    we can do it one !!!



    Jia You !!!

     
  58. penguin_88

    penguin_88 Member

    Hello all,



    I've also been through this stage as well, when I got to know I was preg, I told 2 of my closest colleagues and asked them to keep mum about it. Disclosed it during the 3rd month into the pregnancy to them. One of my big mouthed management team actually went straight and told my boss about it, so on that very same day, he asked us (a few colleagues and me) for a meeting, from there he hinted that if we are not happy with our job, we can simply leave. Don't you think it's really obvious? That's the first hint I have gotten, I struggled on...



    Lots of things happened after, he went on to transfer my workloads and reorganised me to another team this April. It was really a tough period to go through as the importance of me being at work is being reduced day by day. I felt I am not needed at work. Further, being in another team required me to learn new stuffs from scratch, the stress added on with my close colleagues drifting away from me, having outings by themselves, not asking me out.



    Now, i'm being totally ignored by one of them. My boss refuses to talk to me, I am not asked to join meetings, emails are not being forwarded to me ever since my announcement of maternity leave which will be starting soon.. Fortunately, all things are going to be over soon and i'm still counting down to the day where I can leave this company after my maternity leave have been exhausted.





    crescent: your due date is in Aug 2010? Don't worry, it's going to be over soon [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

     
  59. mumsatwork

    mumsatwork New Member

  60. joanneyang

    joanneyang New Member

    Hi all, I'm new here! ^_^

    Am facing the same problem as most of you..



    I am currently 14 weeks and EDD is on 31 Dec 2010 and working as a contract staff in EM.. I started working there in Dec last year and contract is supposed to end on 31 Oct 2010. However, I was previously told that the contract is renewable..



    When I discovered my pregnancy, I told my head abt it.. At first, she reassured me tat my contract renewal will not be affected by my pregnancy. They may either renew it till 31 Dec 2010 or even till next year.



    Fri morning, she arranged for a meeting together with my recruitment agent (cos my headcount is under the agency). Apparently, my manager told the agent tat they will not be extending my contract. Main reason she gave was tat though the company do need the headcount but due to business needs, they need someone to be physically working. Meaning to say she cant extend my contract as I will be on leave and will not be working physically in the office...



    Damn disappointed with the way things turned out. I tot being a mum herself she shd understand my situation but apparently not.. Juz bcos I am pregnant my contract is not renewed.



    And I recently went for an interview wif an investment bank. I was already confirmed for the position and went down to sign the offer letter. However, after I signed the appointment letter, I informed de manager tat I am pregnant (cant hide cos I am required to go thru a medical check up) and on the spot, they retracted the offer!! How unfair is it! Discriminating issn't it?~



    And now I am stuck, with my contract not being renewed and not able to find a new job..



    Damn stressed about this!

     

Share This Page