how many times did your hb visit his mum after married?


How long each time he visit his mom? I dun see anytin wrong... Not like he is going anywhere else or meet his frens. U cannot stop ur husband from being filial to his mother...

My husband visit his dad once a month as his dad is staying in jb. Sometimes I don't follow him into jb, but I won't stop him from visiting his dad whenever he wants.

My brother is married and he still visit my mom 2-3 times a week, duration around 30min-1hour. His wife only follow him to visit on Saturday though.

Really shouldn't quarrel over such issue... Imagine if u have a son, u will wish him to visit u frequently after married too right?
 
Agree with the above 2 posters. You still have hubby for 4 days out of a week. Me and hubby go to MIL's house almost everyday for dinner as she's helping me to take care of the kids. It's a blessing to have help with the kids and to have home cooked food on the table. Your hubby is just doing his duty as a filial son. When my son grows up next time I sure hope he will be able to come back and visit for more than 3 times a week!
 
oh i see.i think i wont ask my son to come back so many days in a week espcially after work. i will prefer one of the weekend which can spend longer time together that mean can do more things together and no need to rush straight after work like that. I dont want to tired my son out. I rather he leave the time to rest his body for the work next day/do some self study at home. wife and kids are the person who walk with him the rest of the life. as long as he remember me will do.
the reason of see mum got wrong meh is not really logically the right reason for him to go down as i know my hb go there is to save dinner money and see the cats there.
While he save his money, i am spending money outside to eat.

for kid, my mum in law mentioned she only help out when we go holiday, she want her own life back as the children has grown up and she dont want to be burden anymore. this is understandable. if one day have kids, weekdays hb will split task of bathing kids after our work while i cook dinner. For my mil, i will bring them visit her every sat after my housework is done
 
Last edited:
i wont stop my hubby if he wishes to visit his mom though. filial piety is dependent on parent child relationship. it is dependent on love. and we should give any person the freedom to love.
we hv been married more than a decade and many years ago when we were paktoring... i rem a convo betw my mil n my hubby. my mil started sharing with my hubby stories of how tough it was to bring him up in front of whole family... my hubby responded " well, i did not choose to be born"

it dumbfounded my mil and me. but i agreed with my hubby. my mil never mentioned the toughness of parenthood anymore. for my children i wont fall into this trap and say that to them.
 
Last edited:
I agree spending quality time is more important than quantity time.. It also depends on the closeness of mother and son. I'm very close with my mum, and we stay quite near each other so I always try to visit with or without my hubby. My hubby is not as close with his mum. In fact she only calls when she needs favors or errands. However we still try to have dinner with her as often as we can to help her with whatever errands. I'd say around 2-3 times a month. My hubby is shift work, so can't see her every weekend.

My BIL sees my MIL very often. At least once weekly, sometimes she even stays over during weekends. But they are not close. My MIL helps out with the children. I always think it's very sad, it's like making use of her. They only can talk about the children, no other topics. My BIL has never even brought my MIL overseas for holidays. He will plan for his own family. Only early this year did he ask her to come along for his family Japan trip.

So you see, spending a lot of time together is no use if there is no bonding.
 
It depends on who you ask - different family, religion, upbringing, will yield different answers. No absolute right or wrong. But I recall something a pastor said during a friend's wedding ceremony ... something like this.

"when you get married, the two of you will form a new inner circle. You are each other's inner circle. You are a new family unit. Your friends, families, parents, siblings, etc are all outside of this special inner circle. Your priority is this inner circle, and this inner circle only. When you have a conflicting schedule, when you have to choose, always choose the inner circle. If you take care of your inner circle, the outer circle will fall into place and a healthy inner circle can support the outer circle. But the inner circle will have the most priority. Don't forget that. A friend, a parent, or a sibling is important, but they are no longer your inner circle."

It so resonated with me that I cried.
 
I personally think that despite the short hours, it doesn't mean that it's not quality time spent together :) I'm all for visiting the parents 3-4 times a week, if I could I'll probably be at my parents 5 days a week hahahaha. My hubs goes home once or every alternate week though :) I leave my chubs at my parents' pretty often, thus explaining the frequency lah :p It may be just me, but no matter how old I am right now.... I always think that I'm my parents' little girl, and I want to be around them as much as possible haha.
 
my hb went 3 times during every weekdays/afterwork. hmm.. like that switch it to come home 3 times during every weekdays and he stay at his mama house. i feel he will be happy.
 
my hb went 3 times every weekdays/after work. why not switch it over. he come home 3 times every weekdays. i feel he will be happy. like that no different from being married. maybe maybe i have my own thinking/principal.
 
Last edited:
My Husband is very close to his family and I saw that in him even before getting married. We might have small fights over him pampering them more.. but It never get worst than a few sentences. For some reasons, I always think that, if a man treats his parents & siblings well, he's very family orientated, he will treat me & my kids well too. I rather he spend time with his Mum or Sister than weird woman outside. My 5 cents worth.
 
Yeah, Fel C has not been very clear in her posts. We have no idea if her hubby stays overnight or goes back to their home. If he stays overnight at his mom's place 3x a week, then it would be a little odd indeed. It is perfectly fine if he goes on back home after he sees his mom.
 
just to say, after my bro married he hardly come back to visit our parents (mom)
he only come back when, he want to collect his letters, give pocket $$, mom bday, cny dinner, only festival.
Not to say hardly bring his son (which my mom grandson).

i hate my bro who did not come back to visit my mom after married :(
i think my mom like son than girl (so u know why i ask him to come back hor)
 
Last edited:
just to say, after my bro married he hardly come back to visit our parents (mom)
he only come back when, he want to collect his letters, give pocket $$, mom bday, cny dinner, only festival.
Not to say hardly bring his son (which my mom grandson).

i hate my bro who did not come back to visit my mom after married :(
i think my mom like son than girl (so u know why i ask him to come back hor)

it depends on ur bro n mom's rship in the first place. It's easy to label n judge others as unfilial but let's not do this.
 

Back
Top