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Help! My son has suddenly refused to go to school

Discussion in 'Matters Of The Heart' started by letshop, Jun 16, 2007.

  1. letshop

    letshop New Member

    Hi, my 3.5 yr old son has suddenly refused to go to school at the end of term two and now it is also affecting his attendance at the gym. He refused to go by himslef, insisted that i must stay by his side all the time. I had a chat with his kindergarten teacher before shcool closed and she insisted that my son was just "seeking attention" since he is the only child. I admit he is very attached to me but he was coping well during the initial stage when i left him in school. I supsect something happened in school two weeks before term two ended but i really have no clue. When i asked him, he said he was scared and mummy's not there to help him!. So mothers out there, pls help! Shall i pull him of school or wait and see
     
  2. I had same problem a couple of months back for my 3YO gal. She had been telling me she did not want to go school during the weekend. I brushed it off thinking she wanted attention (she is elder to a 1YO gal). As usual, I brought her to school on Monday. She went in unwillingly. Tuesday, she removed her shoes but did not want to step into school. Wednesday, I handed a screaming child to the teacher.

    I called school to see if there are any problem (teacher was telling me she had no problem. Still the ususal self) My husband and I discussed to see what went wrong. That night, we sat down and asked her the reason for not going to school. We talked to her and "analyzed" the situtation with her. Next day, she went in abliet with two tear drops but no screaming though. I went to fetch her (usually it her grandfather who did that). She was very happy and sang songs on way home. I focus on this point,telling her she learnt so many songs in school. We liked to listen to her singing etc.
    Focus on good points in school. Make the conversation short but bring out the school topic often.

    No problem after that. I do agree with teacher that kids want attention but we still need to address the problem and give a sense of security to the child.

    My side of story for sharing.
     
  3. gingin

    gingin New Member

    I faced the same problem when my son was in K1.
    Usually he liked to go to school.Suddenly one day morning,he cried and cried and "die die" dont want to wear uniform.
    So we tried to talk to him, what's wrong but he refused to tell us anything.
    No choice,we rushed down to his kindergarden and hope can get the answer from his teacher.
    His teacher was very understanding and told us what's the problem.Bcoz he dont want to take veggie during lunch,so his teacher "forced" him to eat veggie!After we knew the problem, we just talked to him bcoz your teacher love you,dont want you to fall sick easily.Then he love to go to school again~!~!
    No matter for kids or adult, we need to know the problem then we just can solve the problem right?
    Try to find out is that anything happened between him and his friend or with his teacher.
     
  4. love_piglet

    love_piglet Member

    My kid had started attending Nursery this Jan and 1.5 mths later, he is still crying when he is going to school...really dunno wat to do...he will wake up (by himself) crying that he duwan to go sch even on weekends...
    Qt stressful coz his is supposed to b full-day child care but we put him on 1/2 day for the time being...
    Considering starting him on full-day starting nx week...
    dunno if he will be ok...
    I did ask him wat happen in sch but he refused to say and he seems to not really interact well in sch...
    sigh....
     
  5. sunshine012

    sunshine012 Member

    My gal suddenly ddidn't want to go to school after the chinese new year break. It's definitely not separation anxiety because she had no problem going to school before this.

    On monday, she wanted to go back up when we were at the void deck.. persuaded her to go to school but she refused to go to class, so we went home oinstead.
    On tuesday, she refused to change into her uniform, again she didn't go school.
    Today, her daddy brought her there.. she was ok but once she sees her teacher she cried and didn't want to go in. Almost send her home but left her there when he went back to check wif the teacher if anything had happened to result in this..My gal was screaming inside the class. When wwe pick her up she was happy , but she was crying again back home and says she doesn't want
    to go back school.

    Asked her but she din say anything.. only mentioning teacher angry with me couple of times. Hiaz.. Tomorrow is going to be another day of struggle.
     
  6. angeline85

    angeline85 New Member

    letshop, you can try talking to her about what happening in school.. i think there must be some thing happen and make him upsad for going school.. sometime kid don`t know how to tell mummy.

    i remember very clearly till now i am already a mummy.. when i am just studying k1.. i did something wrong.. when teacher asking us to watch tv and i am still chating with classmate. the teacher was very angry and she lock me inside a room with nobody inside.. i was scared.. next day i do not want to go school. but i never tell my mom. i just go other place without going to sch.. after a few day.. my mom found out that i did not go school.. she scolded me.. so i tell her what happening..

    the teacher did not feel any wrong for locking me inside the room. after that my mom change another sch for me.
     
  7. sarang

    sarang Member

    Hello Mommies, I'm sorry to hear about your problem having your son/daughter not wanting to attend school. My suggestion would be, take time to be with him/her while going to school. Make observation on how he/she behaves in school.

    It could be a bad experience occurred. Like somebody/classmate bullied him/her. Or teacher scolded him/her and that's the reason why the kid doesnt want to attend school anymore. Talk to the teacher and figure out how does your child behave in the class. You could also ask some classmates.

    For younger students, it is really scary to go to the real school unlike child care that only has limited number of classmates around. Teach him/her to mingling and soon, he/she will look forward attending his/her class.
     
  8. wahm

    wahm New Member

    Personally, I would believe that something is amiss. Let me share.

    My 3yr old has been to the same childcare since she was 16 months and suddenly late last year, she did not want to go to school. First of all, her teacher went on maternity leave and another one took over. After alot of probing and asking and obsesrving on our part, I got the truth, the whole class was not allowed to talk but play silently. If they talked, the teacher would be angry! And this is the age, where children should be allowed to exercise their vocab skills.

    When I picked her up, you can hear a pin drop in class! Anyway, to cut the long story short, I spoke up to the person in charge, shorten her hours in that CC and all is fine now.
     
  9. lazymummy

    lazymummy New Member

    my son too refused to step into the school after a long break(always fell sick during jan and plus a short trip during jan.)then he fell sick again in feb. and my family doctor pointed out that he was basically not fit ever since school reopened.then we realised that he was stressed by the idea of going to school.so i check it out with the teacher,then i realised that this year their teachers are introducing alot of new stuffs to them and my son couldn't take it.Doctor advised me to talk to the teacher asking the school to pay more attention to him and on my part i quitted my part time job and spend time with him.if these problem of not going to school carries on then i may want to consider changing a new school for him.cos doctor said he will not learn and enjoy his childhood if he is not happy with the school that he is in now..........fortunately....he is ok now moody occasionally but once he is inside his classroom he forgets about me.....
     
  10. lovebearsallthings

    lovebearsallthings New Member

    i think children sometimes do this. My boy has been going to school for about 10months, no problem, and suddenly he also does not want to go to school. Teachers all say he is ok in school. I suspect it's a phase too.
     
  11. sassymummy

    sassymummy New Member

    i do agree that its a phase.

    thats what happen to my boy(4 yo). since last term he has been crying and refuse to go to school. it happens to his enrichment class too. we have to presevere, even though it means making a scene outside his enrichment school.

    plus a lot of coaxing. we have been keeping our fingers cross for this term. so far so good.

    btw, when he doesnt want to go. he can make up a diff excuse everyday.
     
  12. blurqueen30

    blurqueen30 Active Member

    My gal too had the same prob. Its when her Eng teacher left the sch loh. Her new teacher who took over is a Malay teacher. The 1st time she cried, i received call frm the teacher asking me to bring her hm coz' she's crying. Luckily im nt working at that time, so i went down to bring her hm. The 2nd time she cried again, her teacher called me again, in fact im quite pissed off loh. So during the parent's meeting, i check with the teachers wat happen. They said my gal is ok one, maybe its after her eng teacher left liao, she's having this withdrawal syndrome loh.
    So i took the chance to actually ask the teachers(coz' im pissed off too mah), y they nv try their best to pacify my gal, but instead kept asking me to bring her hm! I told them im a working mum leh, i cant juz stay at hm whole day waiting for them to call me to bring my gal hm loh. They told me they did coax her, gave her sweets etc but she juz kept crying & its affecting the class. Till nw, my gal still has prob gg to sch every morning. She would start to cry when she saw my maid leaving the class. I oso duno wat to do. Sign...[​IMG]
     
  13. weeee29

    weeee29 New Member

    hi all...

    just to share my story and seek some opinions...

    my elder DD (3yr) was in this school for half day for 4 months already. Till now, every morning she still cry whenever i leave but every afternoon when i fetched her, she was always happy and singing and telling me what she did in school.

    Recently, i just turned from a SAHM to a FTWM. So i decided to put her fullday as well as my younger DD (2 yr). I spent 3 days with my younger daughter and was quite annoyed to find out the teachers quarelled quite often in front of the kids! I also find out from my sis (who was there for trial period too) that my younger daughter dozed off while having lunch and the teacher woke her up wanting to bathe for her!!! I have spoken to the principal and she only said that they can only try to entertain her to delay her sleeping time so that activities will sync with her classmates.By the way, my younger daughter is always clinging on to me every day we stepped into the school and will scream and cry everytime i leave..the elder one will cry for a minute or two then stop.

    My concerns:
    1) The behavior of the two quarrelsome teachers will affect my daughter?
    2) My daughter's sleepy mood during lunchtime resulted her in not eating at all..how??!!!
    3) Bathing IMMEDIATELY after meal or sleep is not good for her....isnt it??

    I'm at a loss end...if i put them in different schools, then it will be very inconvenient for me..however, i do not have anyone else to take care of them....

    sorry for my long story but i desperately need suggestions...
     
  14. voucherssale

    voucherssale New Member

    bottom line is that children needs love and attention from the mother. [​IMG] thats why they behave like this.
     
  15. mother0f2

    mother0f2 New Member

    hi! my boy is 9 and in primary 3; he has the same problem of not wanting to go to school suddenly + CCA too.
    strange but worked with the teachers to see what the issue was, turns out he didn't like to get scolded in school for talking in class and not doing his layout (basketball) well enough, he's in the school team. I am to blame for not giving him enough attention too cause i havn't been having the usual talks and hugs... so i guess no matter what the chores of life we have, we just ahve to keep it going. Kids tend to be really sensistive and feels the distance easily... i have to put in triple effort with my third one ont he way.
     
  16. reina_tan

    reina_tan New Member

    Hi! I have the same problem now. My girl used to love school and even the teacher tell me that she is very good at class. But suddenly, she refuse to go and keep crying. Ask teacher, teacher said nothing happen. Ask her, she said nothing also. Really don know how to help her. Now she keep saying she is too shy to go in.

    Please help!
     
  17. mumluv

    mumluv New Member

    hi all,
    I'm kinda desperate for help!!! really need a kind soul to advise. my story...
    my 4 yr old gal started schooling this year in Pcf and I was glad she has no separation anxiety at all and all went fine. I put her in childcare when she was 3 yr old and back then she had this problem and she fell sick on the 5th day. she refused to go bk after recovery and I withdrew her from cc and from then she stayed at home till before going Pcf. due to some financial prob, I need to go to work. I have no choice but to put her in cc again. I thought she will have no prob since she is doing fine in Pcf, but no no... she refused to go cc after 3rd day. the teachers told me to drag her to sch no matter how hard she cried and said it could last few weeks. my gal told me she disliked the teachers and the toys over there are not fun to play. I'm very fed up for not being able to observe the lessons as the centre refused entry. when I came down to enquire before enrollment, the person also dun allow to observe and we talked outside the centre! I really run like this policy because I can't identify my gal's school refusal problem! I chose this cc because this is the nearest 'walkable' cc near my place.. I really dunno if I wanna continue putting my g there...
     
  18. beatrice_chua

    beatrice_chua New Member

    Maybe you child had some issues perhaps with his classmate or teacher that scared him. I think the way to find it is to ask your son about it. He can give you some clue. Also, assure him that he can tell you anything if things went wrong at school. Having the assured feeling will help him feel secure.
     

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