Giving Seats to Needy! !!

reminds me of the other time when I was pregnant and standing in a very crowded bus to work. The bus driver suddenly jerk to a stop and I nearly fell on the passenger standing next to me. Then a middle age woman offered her seat for me.....
 


when i was preggie abt 7 months and boarded a crowded bus, the bus captain holler at a passenger in front of the bus to give up his seat. Then only he drive on. Kind of funny the way it was handled but appreciate the kind gestures- from both. The bus captain and the unwilling/willing passenger.
 
In Japan, there are special designated cabins in their railway for women. Wonder if SMRT can consider allocating 1 or 2 cabins for preg mums and put in extra seats. Ha ha.. wild thoughts..
 
i remember i encounter once i gave up a seat for a pregnant lady in bus. she was 8mths pregnant while i was 6mths pregnant. isn't singapore pathetic?? to e extend nobody willing to give up seat for e lady. she's not only pregnant, she brought along a child too lor!!
 
i think pregnant women understand another pregnant women needs more than others. yes i agree that it is a norm of not giving seats. really sad, in this country.
 
A few days ago when I take the MRT during the morning rush hour, I saw at least 3 pregnant women in the crowded cabin.

All those sitting at the Priority seats were all young men/women. All of them doing the same thing. Closing their eyes and pretending to sleep.

I wish I had more courage to help by asking those people to wake up !!!
 
i was on the train last month n pretty sure tat my tummy was big enuff to be seen. A gal ifo me was playing with psp beside her was a man in early 50s..another side was 2 ladies in late 30 talking non-stop all the way but no one offer me me their sit n worst it they can still look at me..

those mrt officer in the train should go round n du sum checking 2 tell this ppl to give up their sits...like tamarind..i dun have the courage to tell them off..
 
Sigh...some people can be really nasty. Best if they just ignore us, worst if they started to make a big fuss and scold us or even get physical. I am only a very weak woman
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I don't mean all Singaporeans are like this. The area where I stay has a huge population of foreigners.
 
haiz...i am abt to give birth in 3 weeks times...tummy sure is big enough for to differentiate if is fat or preg rite..yet be it in bus or train, they can still push me and when i told them dun push, they can still stare at me!!!
 
hi all,

i just got pregnant and my morning sickness started to kick in and i am always bloated..
i did something very bad to this idiot who pretend to sleep. i turned my back and i farted near his face.. i think he choke man!!! muhahahaa... i don;t care if its disgusting but i think he deserves it. i told my hubby a nd he flopped!

yesterday... sam case with this young guy.. i told him before i dropped off.. eh wake up. no need to pretend to sleep cos i am dropping of liao

ahahahaha....
 
Hi all,
did not realise that so many suffered the same "fate" as i did. not getting seats, giving up seats to another more pregnant women etc.
Actually for me, my heart died long long time for a seat. Sometimes when I am lucky, I will get seats, but what really disgusted me most was how the more abled, young singaporeans would rush, push and sntached the seat that I was wiggling towards. I was very angry when such thing happned and would make a lot of funny sounds and stared hard at the person. But i do encoutered more kind souls who gave up their seats or even helped me to wake the "sleeping" person to offer me seat :> could not complain more.

I am 30 weeks pregnant now....I felt that it was always more embarrassing to ask for seats outselves. So what I usually do would to ask the person sitting next to me to give up their seats for the more needy. So, we can do each other a favour, by asking the "sleepy head" to give up seats for the more needy :>
 
I can remember clearly when I was in my last week of pregnancy, my stomach was so big that baby looked as though it would popped out anytime. However, nobody seemed to even stirred. People looked at me with a blank look.

Months after my pregnancy, I wanted to bring baby to take the mrt to experience what it was like to be on the train. Though I was carrying a big bag on one hand and carrying baby with the other hand, no one moved.
 
Same lah...I also got the same experience. I use the sling for my 9over kg boy and have one bag on the other arm and no one give up the seat to me too when I enter the Northsouth MRT. Buay tahan...!!!
 
i think we pregnant women are the Magician that can make the people whom had sat down fell alseep immediately ...

i am a preggy as well, i think most of the pple out there if they see a preggy women or with kids or old pple come standing in front and they all will fall alseep right away or hold their newspaper up so that they wont see us... or just pretend busy sms .

i actually think that guys are more willingly to give up seat to preggy / woman with kids or old pple.
 
now the new trains have offered a corner seat n put up a sign for Priority seats for old people, pregnant ladies n those who children to sit. My point of view. I felt that it dun helps much lor. I took the train n saw so many pple taking up the priority seat n they cant be bothered of the signs n when the needy need to sit, they juz pretended.
 
Hi, happy forever, agreed with wat u just mentioned above....me due in 2 weeks time...people can also pretend not to see me....pretend to sleep, read paper, play psp, sms, turn left, turn right, look up, look down, just dont look at my direction...
 
life is just a cycle... they have their turns to get pregnant , get kids , turn old one day.

We preggy , dun think too much as well, we stand and we treat it as an exercise lor ... for me i sit alot in the office , so it ok lah . As can see how poorly those inconsiderate pple poor acting skills then and treat it as a show ,it will make your day happier .


DUN FORGET LIFE IS JUST A CYCLE .. ..
 
Well,well, so common and sound so familiar. Believe most mum to be or mummies, even senior aunties and uncles are facing these problems when taking public transports.

All the sign doesn't help much, because these % of people are just too self centred and selfish.

I have experienced standing from Bedok MRT to Jurong East MRT when i was pregnant 6years ago, i will remember it forever.

There were few occasions, i asked politely for the seat, just for my son. It was really too crowded, my son can't even balance himself properly. My son don't mind to stand if it is non peak hour.

So..., ladies..., ask them to give up the seat if you really need it, especailly pregnant ladies or mum carrying children.

I have also met passengers who gave up the seat to my son, and i really appreciated.
 
newspaper also once did a 'test' and the lady reporter who pretended to be pregnant said that only 1-2 people gave up their seats if I remembered correctly.

Also that a pregnant lady entering any MRT carriage seems to cast a spell on everyone --- all suddenly go to ZZZ land.

After pregnancy, actually got another problem - waiting for lifts with a stroller. People try to 'cut queue', stand directly in front of the lift that is coming, and once I remembered I waited for TWO lifts to pass by me at Harbourfront because all those office people, men and women all move faster than I can EVEN THOUGH I was there first.
Disgusting...
 
Well, mothers and babies are not the only victims in situations that you have described. I volunteered in a charity for people with disabilities and we have impatient folks who 'leap-frog' in front of wheel chairs and crutches without remorse or empathy.

Perhaps it is the making of a society that's focused on speed and the need to 'move fast' in the name of economic progress!
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Can I add some comments from a different view?

Actually, there are reasons why some people wouldn't want to give up their seats. Let me quote a few real examples:

1) During morning peak hours, there will be empty southbound trains leaving Yishun MRT every 10mins. Some people purposely come earlier and miss a few non-empty trains just to wait for the empty train so that they can have a seat. Will these people give up their seats subsequently when a needy person comes into the train? Answer is most likely a "No", as they have purposely come early and wait for the empty train (ie. they made an effort for it). They may genuinely hope to catch some sleep during their long journey to work and make an extra effort to get a seat. Some staying near Khatib MRT station even make the extra effort of taking train back to Yishun station in order to get into the empty train. We can't blame them for not giving up their seat to the needy. It is only their 'luck' (or 'unluck') of sitting on the priority seat and get stared for not giving up seat. I'm one them (before, during and after my 2 pregnancies) and I will usually try to get the middle seats instead of the 'risky priority seats'. Since able-bodied people can go to such extend to get a seat, why can't those pregnant women who happen to board the train at Yishun or Khatib MRT station do the same?

2) Also, northbound trains arriving Raffles Place are usually near-empty. During evening peak hours, the northbound trains only get crowded from Raffles Place onwards. If the train become crowded, some people will wait for the next empty train if they want a seat. Will this group of people give up seat? Most likely not, cos they had purposely miss the previous train to board the next train for the seat. Why blame them for not giving up seat? I'm in the situation before and I understand. I'm pregnant before and I have made an effort to get seats before. The needy receiving seat from others should treat this as a privilege and not a right, then they will feel good. I had needed seat before and what did I do then? I opened my mouth and asked for it and the other person willingly give up his seat to me. All we need to do is to open our mouth and not wait for privileges to drop from the sky.

Hope my views did not offend you ladies. I just want to present things from a different point of view.
 
Hi

Agreeing with some mummies who mentioned that the young ppl these days are just being inconsiderate, perhaps we should propose to MOE on bringing back "好公民“ back to the classrooms, which we used to have in during our primary school days.


Good habits should be cultivate at young and be kept with them for life.
 
Not only abt bring the "好公民" back, but it's how the parents teach their children when young. Its the character building.

Let alone youngster, now, the adults are also getting worse! they can push and push to get into the train before the lighting passengers get off! I've once say out loud :'whats the hurry?', the lady can turn back and tell me str in the face that there is space infront....DUHZ! there is no space lor!

Then i retort back saying: 'No, the ppl have not gotten off loh!' Luckily there's a young lady, think ard 20++, who speaked up for me, saying indeed the people have not fully got off. THen, the lady kept quiet. These ppl...they tot no one dare to say them.

tsk tsk...and we still wonder why australians dun like sporeans...haiz...
 
Here is my story....

I was sitting on the 3rd seats of the rows.
When come to the next station, a family of 3+1 came in.. Daddy, Pregnant Mummy, Granddma carrying Granddaughter.

I Stand up and offer my precious seat (I was lugging lots of things at that time) to the preggie woman. With that I ended up standing infront of her while the grandma besides me (front of 2nd seat) and daddy is standing in front of 1st seat

As grandma and preggie tends to kip talking to each other, I offer to switch with grandma, so that she could stand in front of the preggie and chit chat.

Few station passed by, the person sitting on the 2nd seat alighted. I was standing in front of the seat, its "rightfully" my seat..

Guess what?
The Preggie quickly Shift her BIG BUTTOCK to occupy the 2nd empty seat, and let the grandma take over her 3rd seat.

I was veri fuming.. and they dun even feel the least shame on this act.

Worse is yet to come.. Since 2nd and 3rd seat are of the same family, Daddy requested to switch with me. End up Im now in the first seat. So lucky, the person in front of me alighted.. and guess again... whats happen..

Their Shameless and Selfish action nearly drown me. The ingrate preggie woman just place her Fat hand on the empty seat.. keep calling to her "Arh Lao" to sit.

And that Shameless Arh Loa, really took the seat.
 
me do have good and bad experience in the public transport...

good ones was a young man wanna give up his seat to me (me was just 5mth preggie but tummy not really big leh) but there's a gentleman rushed from the other end to sit down. so this young man told him off. then me got the seat. guess what, that gentleman alighted at the next 2 stops. huh??? 2 stops still wanna get a seat meh???

bad one is the same as everyone story lor...
 
precious moment, i think you hv a knack for narration. the way you described is humourous despite that the incident's actually so frustating....

anyway the family's actions are for all in the cabin to see. hope the daughter doesn't inherit these genes. really buay ta han...
 
Hey ladies,
It's quite sad to see people behaving like this.
On our part, we can take what I call the win-win approach.

If I need to sit down or see someone like old person, child, mother carrying baby who needs a seat, I politely ask the nearest available person ' Hi, would you like to give this pregnant lady/mother/elderly person your seat?", especially if they are in a priority seat.
Then when they do, I thank them and smile, so they feel good about it. I also tend to thank them again when I leave the train.

Of course, not everyone will have such a nice reaction but I've tried it multiple times, and no one has refused me so far. Mummies still in their first tri who are not showing yet, no one will know unless you speak up. So don't be afraid, just smile and be a little thick skinned. At the same time, you're showing a good example to the young people who don't have manners!
 
pumpkin seed, i think you're right.... there are those priority seats in trains these days (i only realised last week).... if you think you deserve the seat, you have the rights to ask the person occupying it to give it to you....

i've seen a lady carrying her 2-year-old on the bus, and she just went to the person sitting on the seat in the 2nd row to let her have the seat... she asked in a pretty nice way "can you let me have the seat??" and perhaps the person is a student so she quickly said sure and stood up....

although i havent had bad experience when i was pregnant, but i did see one incident which made me very pissed.... i saw this lady who's quite heavily pregnant and she was walking to a seat which she spotted (near the door)... as she was walking, a strongly-built man quickly ran and sat down!!! the pregnant lady was just 3 steps away from the seat!!! and the disgraceful man just looked at his papers and pretended nothing had happened!!! the poor lady had to continue walking to look for the next seat....

think next time if i see a pregnant lady / elderly person, i would try what pumpkin seed does...
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I think so IF GOV. FINE PEOPLE LIKE LITTERING, then will wake up.. It is no longer basic curtsy (sg lost it many yrs ago)...

I 1st time this year, took MRT train today with my elder son sleeping in stroller, carrying younger son on lap wearing a dress, purposely turn right into the special seat, and a old uncle happen to see me turn in, he give up his seat to me imm. guess what, a young girl acted sleeping, I knock her head, tell her dont fake it, she imm stand up and exit the next station, returning the old uncle his seat..

I am not someone who see and dont do.. Is must do... I am not afraid to voice it out loud(at least I got seat from Outram to Bt Gombak)...
 
For me, during my pregnancy, most of them gave up their seats for me, be it reserved seat or normal seat. But, still got some people pretend to "never see me"...

MRT still not so bad, cos got the reserved seat sticker. Bus is worse...not even once I was offered a seat.

Usually, if it's a short journey, I'm prefectly ok with standing. But, to stand from Bugis to CCK, is a long journey... There was once I was carrying my daughter (5 mths old) and the train was packed. I walked to the reserved seat and guess what? The woman immediately shut her eyes and pretend to zzz. The next thing I did was "can I have this seat? It is reserved for those who are carrying baby." She pretend not to hear. So, I raised my voice and vola, she gave me a black face and stood up.

For me, since the seat is being reserved for us, we should fight for our rights. And, if someone refused, I would tell him or her that the seat is "reserved" in the first place for certain people and that they are not suppose to sit. I even have my IPOD tuned to the meaning of reserve / priority - just in case some people wants to argue on first come first sit basis.

However, so far I've not encounter anyone that dares to argue with me on the reserved seat.

Do you know in HK and Taipei, those seats with reserved usually are not occupied - even in peak hours. Or, they'll give up their seats automatically...
 
Just got this from my friend. He was standing in the MRT train this morning. Suddenly a young man who'd been sitting in front of him stood up and offered his seat to a lady who'd just come in and was standing next to my colleague. My friend took note as did quite a number of pp nearby as they were quite surprised at the sudden quick gesture. The woman was apparently wearing loose clothing and looked a bit fat/pregnant. She apparently just gave a curt shake of her head and didn't take the seat. Nevertheless, the young man didn't sit back down and continued standing until he left a few stops later. My friend saw the woman texting/emailing v agitatedly and furiously on her iphone. As he's quite tall, he accidentally caught sight of her message. He said it was filled with hokkien expletives k n n k n n! She was apparently texting a friend complaining and cursing that the young man had thought she was pregnant.

The above well illustrates why men nowadays don't offer seats to women. The young guy this morning not only did not receive any thank you for his well meaning gesture but I guess it was was 'lucky' that he did not get a verbal tongue lashing as well. Wonder if that woman ever gets pregnant if she would be flattered if no one stood up and offered the seat for her.

Personally, I've noted that of all the persons who've stood up to give me their seat when I was (and currently am pregnant), most are male. The next best group are middle aged Malay women. The worse are middle aged Chinese women (of whatever class) and teenagers (esp boy-girl pairs in the midst of cooing to one another - contrary to popular belief, the boy will not offer his seat up to impress his girl (probably because the boys prefer to continue groping their partners and in quite a few cases, the girls also appear to continue being groped).
 
That day I was in a bus when I saw a poor elderly lady standing. I looked around for a seat but as it was peak hr there was none. However, I noticed that one seated lady nearby is getting ready to get off the bus but there was this young guy mid-20s in front of her. From the look of it, he seems to wan that seat. I immediately shifted next to him n made it very clear with my body language tat I wanted tat seat but when the lady got off, the guy just brushed me aside n sat down. I was quite pissed by then as being a guy I feel tat he shld be gentleman enough when a female has already made it so clear tat she wants the seat. So very loudly (so tat ppl around could hear), I said, "Sir, didn't u see tat old lady over there? I think she needs the seat more than u. Can u pls give up the seat to her!"
Haha shld hv seen his face, it was so red as he muttered a sorry n got off at the next stop.
 
Quezvene
Your intention is good but I wonder why you took such a round about way... If you were not afraid to speak out at the end, why didn't you just do so right at the beginning? Why didnt you just point out the old lady to the man right from the start instead of giving him the impression that you wanted the seat? And then embarrassing him because he didn't give way to you? Note that he didn't give way to YOU, not that he didn't give way to the old lady.

Women want to be treated equal yet still expect seats and other acts of "chivalry". Chivalry- It's nice when we get it but it should not be an expectation or a right. It is slightly different for the elderly, the handicapped, young toddlers or pregnant women who "need" as opposed to "expect", in this case, a seat. I dont know whether the man noticed and chose to ignore the old lady but I'm sure that if you had pointed her out to him from the start, you could have had a win-win-win situation for him (who gets to save face), the old lady (who gets a seat) and yourself (for being a good 'neighbour' to both).
 
Hi, Sunny that's because he haven't taking the seat yet. Before I could have told him about the old lady, he had already push me away. How am I to be sure that he wants the seat for himself and not like me to keep it for the old lady as well?
 
It wldn't hv hurt to voice out or point out, look, there's a old lady who needs the seat. If he already knows n meant to give the seat up, I'm sure he wld hv just said, I know. Anyway ...I don't want to argue w you. Still think tt your methods a bit strange but your heart is in the right place so keep it up.
 

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