Feel sad when maid leaving? Do you?

wendysu

Member
I do not know is there anyone same like me. My maid had been with me for almost 6 years, from my DS (6yrs) to DD (4yrs), been through alot and we become like "good friends". Family trip to HOng KOng, Vietnam, THailand, Malaysia Indoensia we never fail to bring her along. Actually this year, i had already bought air ticket to taiwan for her too, but things just cannot proceed. She is a good helper and she can go anywhere to run errand which is of great help to me.

All the while her performance is good and as time goes by, we also become close of course there is bounds to be some line drawn when comes to work. However, ever since the past 3 months plus, her working attitude and bad performance had drove me to the limits. She began to talk loud to my kids, not fulfilling her duites, every time gave us a sulking or black face but when meet others, jokes and sweet smile. When we ask her to do things, she will show you a face like reluctant. Everytime forget this and that. Blah Blah Blah. In fact previously she already wanted to go back but we ask her to consider staying until my DS primary one. She agreed to stay.

For the past years, i have been saying want to send her back, dunno how many hundred times but every time my heart will be soften, partly also become my kids very attached to her too and i can't imagine what will happen if there is a new maid, will my kids like or adapt well...etc etc. I am FTWM and without a maid, i can't imagine the life turning upside down, who is going to send and fetch my kids, classes, preparing meals etc.. How about housework? I can't cook ? So many in my thoughts, i doubt i am able to cope.

But this is the last time i will be tolerating her, i am going send her back. I do not know why i really feel heart pain and upset. I decided to let her go because i don't think she will be able to work like previous anymore. Maybe people said maids are same, old birds already sure change and shown true colours. I agreed this and since i also cannot endure her attitude, so i decided to purchase ticket and will send her back this weekend.

Does anyone feel like me? Maybe you are laughing at me, she is only a maid, why should we have such a huge feeling rollar coaster? Hope this will go away soon.

Thanks, just to share my feeling here.
 


Hi, I heard of a similar case from a relative of her "long-time" maid suddenly changing to bad work attitude and towards her and also wanted to send her home when her contract expires (soon). The reason which she found out suddenly thinking through is because she forgot the maid's birthday by giving her a birthday present like every other year ! (her hubby and kids actually wished her happy bday just that she forgot bcos she was caught up with work and happened to be overseas) She then gave her a belated bday present and apologized for forgeting her bday and then, asked she if she would like to continue working in her home and the maid "suddenly" went back to "normal". Mayb you can think though any events that may have caused this or should have a heart to heart talk with her to see if u can pick up anything that is making her behave this way...really envy people with maids that stay long cos I have been unlucky with finding a good decent maid :(

I think they (maid) also want to feel like they are part of the family and that u remember the "little" things about them. Unless she thinks you can't live without her and start to "act big" then I agree, time to let her go...
 
Thanks for sharing Mokymok

Everyone in my family treat her well and like a family, whatever occasion we will include her, outing etc.
We never forget to celebrate her birthday, but she is making me very upset.
She used to be very hardworking and show me she is very interested in this job, but now she will talk back and said,"You all decide and whatever you please" when i ask her you still keen in this job or not.
Sigh...

Maybe she really think we cannot do without her? Maybe she think we do not dare to send her back because we got no backup?
 
seems like a "sulking" answer...maybe influence by other maids ...(don't know if she goes out or chat with other maids), i noticed they like to compare then when they see others getting "more good stuff" or the others may teach them "bad stuff", they start to have attitude problem ....
 
just consider carefully to let her go, nowadays, the new maids really have an attitude problem. yours start only after 6 years, nowadays, those new ones start having attitude problems even after 1 week ! My family used to have maids with us 10-15 years and my sis in laws have their maids like u 5-6 years back and i really noticed they are much better. they do slowly start to become "more daring" because they treat you like family already...so do think twice...cos really big headache to keep changing maids nowadays !
 
Thanks dear, i decided to let her go despite heart really bleeding.
Anyway, i do not intend to get a new maid, this is too much to bear. Treat them good in the end they don't appreciate us at all. Very disheartening. :(
 
Wendy, dont have to feel soo sad.
sad to say i feel maids are good and great help to the family but a lot of them after working too long, they take kindness for weakness.
My mum's maid woked for us for 8years then started to have bad attitude. like when my younger brother ask her to cook maggi mee she will reply "eh u think i very free ah" dare to show face and answer back.
these sorta stuff so we let her go.
even though we are nice to her and treat her like family but there is a line drawn. at the end of the day we are still paying them salary and are employers. they have to do their duties.
anyway we parted ways and we went back to Faith employment agency to get another maid.
and current maid finishing contract alr so my mum is gonna take another maid soon from Faith.
the current maid is good but her cooking is not excellent. good with housework etc but since now that i have married out and my bro is also grown up. My mum wants somebody that can cook. :)
 
Don't feel sad.. Maids are maids, and they usually are very 无情. Money is the motivator for them to treat you with respect or care.

When I was very young, I had a maid who cared for me from birth to when I was in P2. I was very attached to her because I see her more than my parents. When she decide to leave at the end of her contract, I emptied my savings (about $3k) and gave them to her (without my parents' knowledge), my sibling also did the same. We treated her like a family. My mom even bought her jewellery (四点金) worth more than $8k as she claimed she is going home to get married and start a family.

About 6 months later, when we were out at the malls with my parents, we saw her with her new ang mo employer. My mom asked her why she didn't contact us if she needed a job and she snapped and asked my mom if we can afford her! Said her current employer pays her 2x more than when she was with us and she is entitled to weekly day offs (which we used to compensate her with cash).
 
i change 9 all heartless we gave gifts say thank you but when they return not a call.we gave photos one even use it for her resume pic. we gave so many pic but i think cos some of them ctry v backward must go studio n take so to them v precious. but none finish contract.we so nice let them go but sigh do they remember us n say sorry
 
Actually sometimes i find it very amazing that maids who have worked few years for an employer can suddenly 'change face'. I have heard many of such stories before and have told myself that cannot expect maid to be grateful to you even though u treat them nice. My maid worked for me 3 years liao so far still ok but i am prepared for the day when she suddenly will 'go crazy'. I mean, if you dun feel like working already, just say so la...no need to change attitude or chu pattern right. why cannot go off on a happy note for everyone. End of the day, no need to try to treat them like family. you will only make yourself unhappy at the end.

@lovebear, wah you all gave her so many things before she left.....she really ah...but then....just treat it as her payment for bringing you up lo.
 
Hi Wendy... don't be disheartened. In life, people come and people go. Maybe your maid is not meant to be one that is fated to stay with you for too long. Appreciate the 6 good years. Don't worry- your children are older - it sounds like you are not working? So it shouldn't be too tough on you. Learn from other SAHMS or even FTWMs without maids - two children at 4 and 6 is really very manageable. Learn how to let go on certain things ... here are some tips to share:
- cleaning - get PT help, or get those kind of automatic gadgets like iRobot, etc. save time. probably cost 2 mths salary at most.
- cooking - concentrate on cooking simple and easy meals. Also consider tingkat.

FYI, i have a maid for 3 years - left with tears (because her children wants her back)... gave her bonus, angpow, presents... and to be fair she also gave my children presents... ..... appeared in SG a month later - doesn't even care to reply my SMS!
 
Hi Wendy... don't be disheartened. In life, people come and people go. Maybe your maid is not meant to be one that is fated to stay with you for too long. Appreciate the 6 good years. Don't worry- your children are older - it sounds like you are not working? So it shouldn't be too tough on you. Learn from other SAHMS or even FTWMs without maids - two children at 4 and 6 is really very manageable. Learn how to let go on certain things ... here are some tips to share:
- cleaning - get PT help, or get those kind of automatic gadgets like iRobot, etc. save time. probably cost 2 mths salary at most.
- cooking - concentrate on cooking simple and easy meals. Also consider tingkat.

FYI, i have a maid for 3 years - left with tears (because her children wants her back)... gave her bonus, angpow, presents... and to be fair she also gave my children presents... ..... appeared in SG a month later - doesn't even care to reply my SMS!
 

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