Child Adoption


Hi, I heard b4. But will be troublesome cos the duration for hsr defers n if bb is identified, might need to bring in and out of Malaysia. Not advisable.

But agency will entertain u once u done ur house visit, waiting for the final approval. By then, u will more or less know the outcome. Just the report to come in.
 
Hi everyone, I'm new to tis thread. May I knw how long is the waiting time from the pt of attending the pre-adoption talk till u can successfully adopt a child? I'm looking at a PRC. Hope someone can advise me the cost estimate for adoption. Thanks.
 
hi pokoyo,
Not fixed timing. depend on how fast HSR is arrpoved. Btw for PRC child, the requirement is tighter and waiting time is much longer from wat i know.
U can visit Touch Website.

They hv more info there.
 
Hi everyone, I'm also new to this thread. After numerous fertility treatments for the past 5 years, and not holding out much hope for my current IVF, I'm seriously considering embarking on adoption. I've been spending some time reading through the archives for more info.. and really hoping that via adoption we can finally bring a baby into our family. My hubby is not very open to it at this moment though, so we'll see how it goes.. Any advice is appreciated, thanks.
 
hopewaves: understand your feeling. my hubby are not too open to adoption yet. we still trying to neg. Esp. i have in law staying with me. U can image...
 
All.. Need to go to touch or feiyue website to enrol for pre adoption talk before applied for hsr.. This is mcys requirement.. See website : http://www.adoption.gov.sg

Those who want to adopt but spouse or In laws are not ready.. Please put the plan on hold as the hsr will not pass..
The cost is estimated 30 to 33k include all expenses during the hsr preparation, medical, legal documents and agent fees.. You need all this in place to get a pass in hsr.. It is a challenging task.

Important message to all: The adoption journey decision does not start because you are infertile.. Are you financial ready and mentality ready or get the blessing from parents, siblings, relatives and close friend..? Please consider seriously..

If not, please drop or on hold this idea..
 
SunshineDay : criminal record donkey years ago also better declare loh. whether get through or not at least your frd will know loh. better to know whether can or cannot early than to have everything processed and when mcys or court found out about the non declaring ... it would be very defastating loh. for your friend and for the bb. esp if the bb already in sg and court order cannot get. In sg everything they want to check also possible esp criminal records.

jas : i think one boy one girl would be nice keke... ;)

anyone adopted two before ? can i know what is needed ?
hopewaves : why not attend those pre adoption briefing first from feiyue ... but make sure your hubby goes with you loh. than after that discuss and see if he okay loh. My hubby saw the painful process i went through for both ivf and miscarriage that's why we went for adoption after much consideration. After we adopted we were like why didn't we do it earlier ;P

but more importantly it's a commitment and it's for both husband and wife to be responsible for so that there will no blames after...

met an old aunty at ivf clinic and she told me her sister adopted 3 children and now she's into her sixties and all her 3 children were so caring towards her sister. She even told me she envy her sister.. hahaha ;)
 
Hi bellsbells,

Thanks for sharing the story about the Aunty who adopted 3 kids, it's very inspiring
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I've already registered for the pre adoption talk, will go with hubby in oct. Have you already adopted a child? How has the experience been?
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Thanks all for ur advice. May I knw where do most of u adopt from? I heard from my fren tat some countries can adopt for free e.g vietnam. Does anyone has exp on tis?
Do u tink $30k is a hefty sum? Juz wish to hv a general sense of wat u all tink. Hope to hv ur views. Thanks.
 
Hi pokoyo, not sure about adopting for free, haven't heard of that before. A lot of people adopt from M'sia, Indo or Vietnam nowdays as there are a lot of babies who need good homes there so it is more likely faster to find a child. Also less red tape, so the procedure is less complicated hence faster.

But here are some ballpark fees for adopting an international baby (except India and China) my hubby and i found from our research and speaking with agents:

Pre-adoption talk (usually free)
Disclosure talk (around $60 per couple)
Home Study Report (around $1k - $1.3k for 1st time)
Adoption Package - some may already include legal fees in here. medical check-up fees in home country and singapore should be included here already (around $23k - $28k)
Legal Fees if not included in adoption package (around $3k+ GST)

So all in all.. yup, think you will be looking at around $30k as a basic budget. But all agencies have different packages/rates, best to speak to a few and shortlist. It is a big investment, but in a way.. the best investment – creating a wonderful family made of love. will be so worth it.
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Hope this helps. Talk to a few adoptive parents at the pre-adoption workshops, we found listening to their experience really gave us a lot more confidence.
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Hopewaves: yes i have adopted this year n now bb is 6.5 mths now. I have spent about 3.5mths plus taking care of my bb. Its really lovely to see him grow n just discovered his two teeth poping out!!! Each stage is exciting ! When he learn to turn, when he learn to shake his butt... But of course when he cry non stop and u cant figure out what he wants can be frustrating. It is just part and parcel of moterhood i guess
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its a 'package' deal ,happy ,sad ,frustrating ,love. Planning to have one more but see how well i can cope first and also praying about it
 
heartofhope: 30K for one adoption. That's is almost a person 1 year salary. How to afford for those poorer ppl?

BellsBells: wow... u & ur hubby must be very great
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so envy. Did the package really cost about 30K?? That's really sound expensive.
 
mine adoption agency is $30k Lawyer $2500 Less etc thing... my prince just turn 4 mths old... and now trying to turn liao... madness... his saliva is flooding me.... now weight 7.5kg hardly can carry him for long... thats y he is called meatball lolx
 
Eli : yes. Mine i paid agency fee was abt 25k including legal fee. plus minus if include hsr costing 1.2k plus the deposit of 2k mcys plus some small mIsc items. So abt 28k. But i understand agency may increase their price loh。 last yr green house quoted me 27k or so but this yr i think they charge 30k or higher. N not to forget when bb comes you'll still hv to buy bb stuff plus injections costing etc. better to prepare and set aside n also if u would take care of bb than you lost one side of income. If u get nanny / maid another amt to set aside.

Wow wendy which milk powder u use? Mine abit under weight mine at 6.5 mths weigh only 6.7kg or 6.9 kg。mine trying to sit i think... He's been shaking his butt in the air like an inverted v shape. We are guessing that he is trying to sit but yet scared to let go of his hand.
Eli: you'll hv yours soon once you finish your hsr. Than u will hv 'sleepless' nights of making milk at 2-3am keekee zombies making milk ! Hows that;)
 
he been drink Enfalac since Day 1... and from 3mth old till now he have been drinking 6oz which is 180ml if u want your kid to put on more weight the most powerful is S26... all my frds give their kids drink S26 all turns out very meaty.... can try S26 for your kid...

i now started to mix abit of brown rice to his milk... so far so good he still drinks...
 
@ bells: which agency have you adopted from this year?
I think 25k is reasonable compared to the rest that I have contacted.

Thanks For sharing
 
never tried any. in process of doing HSR now. intending to get from MY.

Local is easier process. no need HSR. but heard a few not so pleasant story, so rather get a foreign bb.
 
i used to have local baby but the mother took her back.... if u read past history my story is there... so if play safe dont go for local.... they tends to change their mind after u pay for hospital bills... if worst case i heard they will keep asking you for money cause they give you their kid...

Go for overseas kid is so much more safer...

I call up my agent which recommend by ProjectA within 1 week he called me and said got baby boy... whole process if like 2 weeks for the baby to come to singapore... This agent is friendly and quick in responds... i tried Greenhouse after i got the kid for 2 months then they call me that they have available baby boy... Lotus... till now nv contacted me i guess she is too busy....

My boy is malaysia boy =)

If cheaper sure waiting time is longer and in singapore mostly prefer girl so the wait will be 2-3 mths... if boy abit faster.... once i cfm my baby within 2 weeks once his passport is out he come to sg liao...
 
Thanks heartofhope for the info. Yes, we hv reg for the talk in oct.

@Jass76, we hv not revealed to our frens tat we r gng for adoption, so din ask for more info abt tat yet.
@Eil, agree wif ur pt.. But it seems tat no one mention in tis thread abt the affordability, so I thot of getting views on tis. Do u tink it'll b gd if govt can provide some form of assistance for us?
@Wendy, we ever thot of spore too... Thanks for sharing ur exp wif us.
 
@wendy: sorry to hear that. must be a terrible exp for u. the hope then disappointment when the birth mum took back the bb.
Anyway, which agency you went to? very fast lei, 1 week then got bb identified liao
 
Disappointment sure have de lah... until now i sometimes still think of her... just hope she is doing well and healthy...

my agency is Lovely Baby & Child Adoption Services
 
All adoptions including local required hsr.

Understanding the eagerness, it is better that both of you like the bb and the health issue of parents and bb are clear before confirming..
 
@ Jass : I dont think so. Local adoption no need HSR. Thats wat i remembered when i attend the Pre-adoption talk in August. Unless they change it recently.

@ Wendy : Thank You...
 
@ mary : no worries... it is just a conversation for me. time passes quite fast. no worries.

I am waiting eagerly for my home visit appt now.
Waiting for the scoial worker to come back with us.
 
We are giving a chance to enjoy parenthood and this involves proper legal process and family court and also concerning a life which is more valuable than 30k..Our government needs to ensure that we are mentally and physically and financial ready for this process..
 
ANyone knows after the office interview, how long will they schedule for the home interview? another mth of waiting game? or in a few weeks?

my mom is anxious for me too haha
even tho she got many grandchildren, she still wanna see me be a mommy!
 
Jass76, I knw wat u mean..

Little_girl, do they jus conduct an interview wif u at ur office? Did they go to ur office colleagues n also look at the env?
 
I am having my 1st office interview next week with Lutheran care community services. Anybody has any idea what they will ask us? Little afraid if I say something wrong that might ruin our chance for a HSR.
 
Hi pokoyo, I went to their centre for the 1st interview.

@latan, I not sure, probably wait for other mummies who hv done it with Lutheran to response would be better.
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Dun worry,
 
Mary neo: so happy for u!!! During my office interview I get my home visit date which was two weeks but waited for the home isit Hsr report for ne month. I think the time frame cerise cause it depends n the queue n their availability. U doing with lutheren?

Wendy : wow enfalac ...thanks for sharing des r bb get heaty taking enfalac? I use nan all the way. But recently I noticed that bb drink much lesser don't knw if ts because ts nan 2.
Mine only taking 100-120ml sometimes e can finish 150 ml. But mostly 100ml.. How many hours interval for your feeding?
 
@ Latan and Pokoyo : you are welcome.
I am also very happy to provide info that i know. i also very new to this whole process.
Hope we can all help one another
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hi all,

Anyone can advise me what do prepare before the home visit? What will the social worker be looking out for?
eg : house must be clean and tidy, table surfaces to be clean....
 
Little girl : safety things which they will tell u. They will see who else stays there n they will repeat some of the qtn from office interview. And if your windows r not fitted with grills they will also request u take note of bb safety. Generally it was quite ok just relax
 
La tan : mostly is those qtn in the Hsr. They will do a lot on how you n your family whether they are aware , whether they support your decision n that they will also see your understanding of your other half n what role each of you plan to hv. Like who will likely to discipline the child. How ubplan to discipline the child. What u expect out of the child, ....
 
BellsBells : My boy not heaty leh i always add half more scoop to his milk... now he drink every 4-5hours but now i give him 5 scoop + 1 scoop of brown rice making 180ml. but if your child start to take solid food then its normal for the milk intake to be lesser...
 
today suddenly MCYS officer called me up and clarify some stuff i did in my teenage time... i thought home visit ask finish liao... today suddenly received her call makes me so stress... anyone encounter this before??
 
Thanks bellsbells and others for sharing. Will they approve HSR for someone with criminal records?

By the way just want to share also our only regret is that we didn't adopt our kid earlier, so for those out there still unsure and waiting, pls don't wait anymore and make the same mistakes as us, adopting is the right and best thing to do, very well worth it!

Thanks!
 
How old are you guys when u decide to adopt?

How to start? Where to go?

Did you guys sign up for the Vietnam package advertised earlier this year?

Thanks.
 


@splw: u need to be at least 25 years to adopt. Start by attending per adoption talk.

Sunshine: I heard my assessor say it will depend on wat criminal record that is. If its child related, they will be super careful.
 
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