**CALLING all Nov 2006/ Jan 2010 mummies!!

Discussion in 'Year 2010 Mums' started by tanstephy, Mar 23, 2010.

  1. tanstephy

    tanstephy Member

    Hello..

    I'm New in here and wanted to make more friends with mummies of the same so that we can share more ideas and support each other in handling baby!

    Anyone? [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

  2. jasminenbc

    jasminenbc Active Member

    Hihi tanstephy,

    Me a 2006 Nov mum, and also 2009 Feb mum. Closed shop le after #2. So U have a gal or boy for #1 and #2? Me have a gal for #1 and boy for #2.

  3. maplely

    maplely New Member

    hihi,



    I'm a Jan 2010 mummy.. with a bb boy

  4. serenelee88

    serenelee88 Member

    Hello all...

    I am a Aug 2007 and Jan 2010 mummy. I have two girls.... I am trying to get a boy initially...but a girl. Hee..hee..



    I am trying to start my elder girl to go pre-school for full day. I know it is going to be tough as I have tried for a few weeks. However, she fell sick immediately after the 3rd day....and she is yet to fully recovered for cough. (it's is on-off type of cough and flu). So, in the end, she actually attended school only 2 to 3 weeks since beginning of March.

    Initally, she struggle and cried loudly when going to sch, she even pulled my hair and hugged me very tight when the teacher wanted to carry her to class;

    This week, she is ok, just a bit struggle when changing her uniform. But when she in the class, she plays and dances and forget about it.... next day, again she cries - like a cycle.

    For her sake, I even quarrelled with my MIL. She said we are "torturing" my elder daughter by sending her to school... =S

  5. tanstephy

    tanstephy Member

    Hello mummies [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



    Jasmine-> same same, my 1st one is gal and #2 is boy. Closed factory too...2 is enough! lol



    Winnie -> hello [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] my boy is born on 19jan 2010. How about urs?



    Serene-> Hmm..i think it's common for children to fall sick once they started sch...my gal has been regular to see her 'godfather' (doctor) almost every month since she started sch [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

    But it's also a chance to build their immunity i think.



    I stayed in Buangkok...any mummies keen to start a playgroup?



    As for me, I feel bad neglecting my elder gal as little boy is more demanding. And obviously my gal is jealous even though i have been trying to reassure her that we still love her...but she still try to do all sort of things to get our attention (Thus end up kanna scolded...sigh)



    For those with elder ones, can share how do you manage?

  6. maplely

    maplely New Member

    Hi all! [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



    My bb was born on 4 Jan.. eager to come out go sch ah.. lol



    seems like aftr having a 2nd child, the 1st one will be qte 'nan gao'. Salute to u all mummies! [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



    Missy Tan >> i stay in sengkang!

  7. tanstephy

    tanstephy Member

    hi hi WInnie [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



    ya lor..was wondering why the elderly says 'bring up all together'... when I'm struggling over such 'teething' problem...sigh!



    Enjoy ur #1 first ;)

  8. jasminenbc

    jasminenbc Active Member

    Hi all mummies,

    I think falling sick is a state when they start going to playgroup or enrichment class don't talk about childcare. My #1 fall sick like every 2 weeks when she is 2plus, after she recover from her cough or flu than follow by fever on and off. So I decided to built up her immunity by giving vitamin from Cod liver gummy and also vita multi vitamin and also fish oil. I dont give everything in 1 day just swop everyday different vitamin. Now she is 3 yrs and 5mths. I also start giving cold liver oil on my boy who is coming to 14mths soon.

  9. serenelee88

    serenelee88 Member

    Hi all mummies,



    Sigh... my elder girl fall sick again. This time is diarrehea. She has diarrehea since last Sat. She poo until her buttock is all swell and red! She even struggle and refuse to let us clean her buttock after she poo... Poor girl.



    Another problem I have is - My girl refuses to eat anything in school. She has lost a lot of weight already and now I am trying to get her stay at school till 3pm! If I would want to do so, how about her lunch?? She don't eat leh... although they will make milk for her before naptime... but now my girl got diarrehea, cannot drink mil... How? Sigh......

  10. serenelee88

    serenelee88 Member

    Oh yes...Forgot to answer your query, Missy Tan.

    Initially, my girl don't want me to touch or carry my younger one... We have been trying to tell her,"meimei needs to drink milk, she is very hungry now...and mummy has milk for only babies can drink...etc." I told her she is not a baby, cannot drink mummy's milk liao...she should drink (bear bear milk-Gain IQ).

    She slowly understand what we told her... But we have to give her more attention than the younger one... (e.g. Only bring her out for a walk/shopping without the baby; buy her something she likes sometimes)

    One day, When the baby is crying for hunger, she suddenly burst out to me,"Mummy feed meimei, meimei is hungry."... then I know she has accepted the little sister.

    Now she even help us to pat pat the baby,saying "It's ok, it's ok... love you.." or rock her little sister's rocking chair when she cries....

  11. maplely

    maplely New Member

    My bb is 3 mths old! Went for injection today. So scared he'll get the fever n hence has been takin his temp. Time flies...I m gg bk wk on the 26th. Hav u mummies gone bk to wk?

  12. serenelee88

    serenelee88 Member

    Hello...



    I'll be back to work on 10th May.

    My MIL can't wait for me to go back to work!

  13. jasminenbc

    jasminenbc Active Member

    Serene,

    Since your gal can't drink milk, give glucous water sorry dont know how to spell. If he buttock swell, U can try apply aloe vera gel. My gal ever like that too, end up we bring her to chinese doctor at YU GUO. They recommend the gel and also gave the medicine pad to be stick on her tummy.

  14. jasminenbc

    jasminenbc Active Member

    Winnie,

    Normally I will give the fever medicine 1st before bringing baby for jab. Or the GP or PD will give as standby, just need to give 1 dose and observe, if fever never turn up than dont need to give medicine.

  15. serenelee88

    serenelee88 Member

    Hi Jasmine,

    Thanks for the advices. Does Glucose really increase her weight? Where is the chinese doctor (YU GUO) at? I am trying all mean to let her gain weight.... but the problem is - she don't like to eat/ try new food! Currently, she likes to eat porridge, junk food and soups.



    Hi Winnie,

    When you go back to work, who's looking after your baby? Does you all mummies has any conflicts with MIL?

  16. maplely

    maplely New Member

    Jasmine>> oh its oke to give the med 1st ah.. i tok if no nd tk then wld be best...



    Serene>> gg bk wk tis mth 26th.. my mum lookg after.. MIL bz lookg aftr SIL's 2 daughters... ur MIL lookg aftr yr kid?

  17. serenelee88

    serenelee88 Member

    Winnie,



    Yes, my MIL look after my 2 kids. So, I am planning my elder girl to go full day school asap...but she keeps falling sick and I have difficulties to get her adjust to the school if keep skipping classes.

    It will be good if your own mother can help to take care instead of the MIL. Will sure has conflicts if under MIL's care.



    Did any mummies here know any good school in Woodlands Circle? My elder gal is now in KinderLand at Woodlands Mart but my hubby said it'svery expensive, he wanted to change to a more reasonable fees school...

    However, I am worry that if my gal already adapt to this KinderLand, if we wanted her to go new school, she needs to start all over again.

  18. tanstephy

    tanstephy Member

    Jasmine-> u can give parcetamol before seeing doctor. if too high, they will prescribe brufen (orange solution) or capsule which insert into the butt.



    Serene-> tried reassuring my elder one everytime lor...guess it takes time esp it doesn't help when she only comes back over the weekends. weekdays at MIL's place due to childcare.

    Kinderland is good. My gf told me that her gal was interviewed during Pri1 admission and was told that Kinderland's standard is good.



    as for MIL's conflicts...I have lots to complain...sigh..

    when i was pregnant this time, she hinted me that if i;m getting a maid to take care of the newborn and it's not easy for her to take care of my elder one all these while. (eventhough we only put my gal there when she started sch). My hubby says can't blame her cos she is still young (52years) and ah ma liao.



    So i got a maid this time but worried also if she can manage when i start work in late May.

  19. serenelee88

    serenelee88 Member

    MissyTan - Maybe ask your husband get one day knock off early during weekday and fetch your girl out for a few hours shopping or dinner (with you only)...left the baby for your MIL to take care. This will surprise her and she will feel that she is still important and has a place in your heart. Do it for a period of time, eventually, not even she will enjoy the trip, both of you will too. And it's a break for you away from the younger one....



    My MIL's conflicts started since my 1st one was came out. To be frank, she is a nice lady, but she over-stepped her boundaries.

    she is a housewife, so all things in my house, she would like to "participant". Even I have cleaned the house, she'll do it again.... So for such reason, I stopped doing the chores when she is at my house. (People are envy that I have such a MIL, but I did rather do it myself, as she made my house (like her house)in a mess! E.g. cloths hanged everywhere, pots put everywhere.... She said it will be easier to take when needed. I told her put it back to the ususal place and take it out is not a difficulty leh. Just like you open the door when you'r going out to throw rubbish, NOT open the door all times for the convenience to throw rubbish!

    She has such habits that I cannot stand.

    -Take/give away things doesn't belong to her and used it

    -She thinks she knows a lot of things that we don't know about. (e.g. cooking/food/childcare)

    -She come to our house as freely as she likes, thinking that she has the authority to come. (She has our keys)



    I know my husband has been sandwiches between us, but I always think that he stand on her mum's side more often than my side.

    Therefore, the 1st maternity leave was very unhappy, it was a blessing that I didn't get depression.

  20. jasminenbc

    jasminenbc Active Member

    Hi mummies,

    Seem like every MIL can't get along with daughter in law de lah.

    I got no choice but to stay with my MIL as my hubby is the only child/son. His mum already 76yrs old le, can't be sending her to old folks home ba, dont think my hubby will do that to her lor. She quarrel with me a lot when I have my #1. Before that worse, she think that I don't want to have baby after married. But me & hubby have been trying hard for 4 yrs, she went to tell my mum that Im taking medicine to prevent getting preggy sigh.... I dam angry lor... I took medicine coz of my high blood pressure since young not like start taking after I got married lor.... pissed...

    Anyway I depend on my maid to take care of my kids, MIL just watch over maid only. She cant carry my boy walk around now as my boy already turn 1 yrs old in Feb. She cant manage carrying him and walk will fall down, coz no strength.



    Serene,

    Glucose is good if she got diarrehea and not taking much food, its to replace her energy if she not taking much food when her tummy not well. Yu Guo is opp. Kembangan MRT a small road just 5 mins walk from the MRT station. Address: 8-B Jalan Masjid #01-04 Kingston Terrace Tel: 6447 4761. They closed on (Wed) better to go weekdays as weekends is packed for sure. Must go and take Q no. there they dont have appt. de. They are good at message if kids dont have good appetite. Its work on many toddler, my sis recommend me there too. Its work on both my kids when they not eating well. I also bring them on and off for message when they not eating well. BTW U stay near woodlands circle too? Me stay there too. Which block U stay? Did U check First Skool? There is a new 1 at Blk 742.



    Winne/MissyTan,

    I will give just b4 we bring them for jab, normally the fever wouldnt be up. Gp advise to take b4 or right after the jab too.



    Sorry for the long winded post ;)

  21. jasminenbc

    jasminenbc Active Member

    MissyTan,

    Must start training her to learn since U still have 1 month plus. My maid also came after I gave birth last year April, at 1st I train her to bath my boy as I will be starting work also in last year mid may. When I started work in May she can handle to feed and bath my boy. Now I even let her cook for our meal for dinner during weekdays. And now we dont need to rush back to buy dishes back home le. She will cook what I have bought during weekend stock up.

  22. jasminenbc

    jasminenbc Active Member

    Serene,

    I have the same problems like U.

    -She thinks she knows a lot of things that we don't know about. (e.g. cooking/food/childcare), Trying to let us know in old days is like that.... but now is not like last time I tell her.... U lucky she dont stay with U for long, me I have to tolerate her till she is gone lor...

  23. serenelee88

    serenelee88 Member

    Jasmine - Guess what, my MIL done it again! She ate all my cans of bird's nest (which my bro gave me)without asking me! My bro gave 3 cans of bird's nest to me on weekend (his client gave him), I put it in the fridge. Today, thinking of getting one out to try, I realised I couldn't find even one! I asked my husband where is it (cos he was the one who put it for me), he said in the fridge leh. When he couldn't find it, he asked his mum.... His mum told him she ate finished it! I am so piss off! If she really want to try one, just take one will do, how can she ate all THREE, without sparing me one??! My husband asked her why she finished all three, she replied that she thought nobody want to eat it, so she finishes it.... Arrrggghhhh!

    My husband knew I am very piss off, he just told me that he'll buy another three back for me... I even more angry when I heard that!



    Thanks Jas, I'll try to buy the glucose for my elder girl. But I am worry if she likes the glucose water, she will refuses to drink plain water... (my nephew is like that... )



    I stay at blk 767 Woodlands Circle. Is this school good?

    Actualy, I like KinderLand at Woodlands Mart (jus downstair my blk), but my husband said it's expensive... after subsidy, you still have to pay $600/mth...

  24. maplely

    maplely New Member

    Wo...seems like this MIL prob is v common ah. I was thinking izzit bcos both r women? But we also cant make things too difficult for our hubbies rt? Afterall is their mum...

  25. jasminenbc

    jasminenbc Active Member

    Serene,

    The Glucose water only give them when they are sick and not drinking or eating well. Its to let them have energy, don't let them take long term. BTW your gal drink what milk powder? If she is not over weight can let her take pediasure. My gal have been taking that since she is 20mths till now 3 plus she still taking that, she loves the vanilla taste.

    Hummmm... your MIL dam clever know that is good stuff so finish all.... My MIL dont take what I buy, only if I take out and put on the table saying everyone share than she will take, sometimes she dont like she will not eat at all.

  26. jasminenbc

    jasminenbc Active Member

    First Skool I heard is not bad too. A lot of branch already on waiting list for next year le. Your gal is 3yrs old? Coz I heard some branch dont have class for under 3 yrs old. I stay at 737 which is inside the circle near to the green park.

  27. serenelee88

    serenelee88 Member

    Jasmine,



    Yeah, my MIL is very cautious of her health. She don't like to eat outside, she likes to cooks her own meals. She will sometimes cut fruits and eat.

    I bought Yogurt, she also ate all my Yogurt!

    At least your MIL has manners not to take/eat people things without permission. Mine is - she thought this is her home or she is a senior, nobody will say anything. Even my dad won't eat/take my things without asking. A senior should behaves and show a good example.....



    Is the First Skool expensive like KinderLand?

  28. jasminenbc

    jasminenbc Active Member

    U can call them and ask maybe. I not sure, but think it will be much cheaper than Kinderland ba. I forgot to take down the phone no. They got hang banner near to my block car park block there, its new I think they got early bird promo for registration.

  29. jasminenbc

    jasminenbc Active Member

    My gal attend nursery at bilk 730 2 PCF(PAP) .

  30. jasminenbc

    jasminenbc Active Member

    Sorry its Nursery 2.

  31. tanstephy

    tanstephy Member

    Jasmine -> my replacement maid coming on Monday. really got to train her since i left ard a mth before gg back to work. I'm back on 24th May (extended 2weeks more annual leave)

    Headache now cos dunno how to tell the current one. The agency even better...so tactless, ask me to tell maid to pack and go back, so callous!

    aiyo...wat happened if there's drama???



    Serene -> Your MIL is quite ultimate! can fight with mine!

    Also started when I got preg with #1. becos of morning sickness, I was feeling horrible and my friend told me to take tonic and birdnest so I tell her since i stay with her.

    Guess what? she said NO NEED cos I'm still puking don't waste!!!!

    after knowing the gender of the baby is gal, she kept telling me that it's ok...gender doesnt matter (it didn't matter to me at all) but just kept harping the fact that she gave birth to a son first (myhubby)cos it's the eldest and only grandson!

    then she did my confinement anyhow when I pay her the 'market' rate. And each day she was like my measuring gauge comparing me to herself y i have so little milk and starving her granddaughter!

    I think got slight depression then and totally hated her...

    back then i was still teaching so got holidays, then every holidays I moved back to my dad's place and gave a lame excuse that she can rest and thank her for taking care of the little one whilst i'm at work.



    Sigh,..if my mom still ard, there wouldn't be much hooha!

    so #2, i insist doing the confinement myself and leave her out of the picture...best thing, she didn't even bother learn the gender of #2 as she claimed that it's FOR SURE a GIRL again! until my SIL asked me ard 7mths then I revealed it's a boy.

    She was like...wah..u so heng ah...I just bat my eyelids and turned away. She didn't offer to do confinement like the first time too and bluntly asked how are you going to take care of the newborn so I guess that she is not helping me that's y I got a maid.



    I think i got a little abnormal and feeling unjust when my SIL was preg lor...she was served birdnest every week starting from 2 months! and she also lor..morning sickness all the way. My MIL don't even dare to brew tonic in front of our presence.

    so i concluded, DIL is just DIL, can never be daughter! :'(



    since the #1, our relationship kind of soured, so now i kept my presence as short as possible.

  32. tanstephy

    tanstephy Member

    first skool also quite ex... received a pamphlet and i called...after sub, still abt $600 too.



    but Serene, if can afford, crimp on ourselves and let your child cont'd @kinderland + it's so convenient for u.

    My 2 cents worth, give them good foundation so that you will be less taxing during the bringing up.

    I learnt from my sister, my nephew studied at learning vision@IRAS at 18mths after my mom passed away. when he entered p1, he was interviewed and the teacher praised that he is quite eloquent and my nephew also felt the interview is easy!



    if i'm nt wrong, there is one learning vision in woodlands too, maybe u can consider that.

  33. jasminenbc

    jasminenbc Active Member

    MissyTan,

    Hummm... U replacing your maid, what happen? The new 1 is it transfer or totally new? Better to get totally new 1, so far I see transfer maid all got problem 1. Just my advise, if U intend to let your maid know she is being replace its better just to let her know on that day itself, coz U wouldnt know what she will do before hand if U telling her she will be send back to agent.

    Me same lor. When I reach home from work just have dinner than go shower than head for my bedroom le. We dont really talk to each other a lot de.

  34. tanstephy

    tanstephy Member

    hihi, sorry i changed my nick to 'Steph' which is my nick as conflicting nick in another forum.



    Jasmine,

    the new one is totally new whereas the current is transferred. sigh..this one ah, pay 'experienced' salary but quality of work is so-so...the worst thing is she told me that she can take care of newborn when i interviewed her at the agency but later we interrogated her after a mth, she says no experience cos her mum helped her to take care one...the ultimate one is she has BO....quite bad...

  35. tanstephy

    tanstephy Member

    oops...*which is my name i mean [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

  36. serenelee88

    serenelee88 Member

    Jasmine,

    Thanks for helping me to find out the cost fees.

    It's the same price as Kinderland... Yeah, I also think likewise, it's much more convenience for my daughter and MIL. I have done a research, the nearest ChildCare is around 400Km...

    But the problem is how can I go through my hubby's materialistic mind? First, he don't like the school - he find that the teachers do not mingle around with my gal. But I told him, how to mingle around, when the parents are there... They'll only mingle with my gal after I completely let her go in herself. This scene my hubby didn't see it cos he went to work liao.

    However, I have keep updating him on our gal's progress (whether she has cried or she has eat any food in sch, etc), thinking that he should has the feel of sending our gal to school too.

    However, I still think he doesn't really know how difficult it is when we sent the kid to school in the first few weeks...

    Secondly, he thinks that the sch fee is exp. He said he cannot keep paying this price every month. I wanted to tell him, I'll pay...but for sure, he'll scold me - "You very rich and earn a lot hah!".

    Very difficult to communicate with him sometimes... even the principle also give in to his request on waiving the one month notice fee for last month upon enrolling.

    But I pay the fee in Apr, I didn't tell my hubby that the one month notice has to be resumed. I find it logical, school has school's rules and regulations leh...

    Moreover, my hubby and I have no time to visit other schools... so we can't keep asking the sch to waive the one month notice for us.



    MissyTan,

    Your MIL really bias leh. But I agreed with you that DIL is forever DIL to them... My first pregnie was - My hubby requested her to brew the tonic. My second pregnie - She never brew any tonic for me... She also didn't ask my 2nd one gender till I 8th month pregnis, when I attended my hubby's nephew's wedding dinner, the relatives was shocked to find me pregnant and asked abt the gender.

    But I think my MIL is more "super" than ya MIL, cos I find her is a very good actress.

    When we argued, she'll cried and called her hubby and her hubby will "fly" over to my house within 5 mins... Then, her hubby also called my husband to complaint on why I treat his mum like that... Of course, my hubby scolded me that I make an elderly cry. This happened within the morning (within 2 hours). So, to amend my relationship with my hubby, I apologise to her.

    Then next incident happened again, we have a arguement on my elder gal. She again, complaint to her husband when she went home at night. Her husband called my hubby the next morning, saying my hubby's mother cried at night, why I treat her like that...he asked my hubby to talk to me.



    I am sick and tired of all these "shows". I stop talking to her now. Whenever she with my gals, I avoid going near unless necessary. But now, my hubby need me to "communicate" with my MIL.

  37. jasminenbc

    jasminenbc Active Member

    MissyTan(Steph), so we call U steph instead of MissyTan, is that right? Hahaa... I will never take transfer maid as I find them not right as if the previous owner have no problems with them they will not be rejected. Some maids are like that they will say they know tis and that infact they dont know. Even new maid will have problems too de, they my maid she do thing never be clean. But 1 thing is she can hands on my boy fron 2mths plus till now, so far so good. But I don't intend to renew her after next year, will look for new maid again. Now I dont believe renew them I will have less worries, after my previous experience with my ex maid, me and hubby tell ourselves no more renew, just get new maid when their contract is up.

    Childcare: Actually my hubby also thinking to put my elder gal to childcare, but he still thinking lah. Coz he thinks that they can learn more from there rather than in PAP. But next year she already going K1, so I think still ok for her to attend K1 ba.

  38. tanstephy

    tanstephy Member

    yup yup...Steph is my name [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

    ya lor...i agreed with Jasmine that i wont get a transferred maid any more! sigh...feel ripped by the agency too

  39. serenelee88

    serenelee88 Member

    Hello mummies,



    Hmm.... its seem that not only MIL problem, maids oso has prob.

    Don't dare to employ maid leh, as I am not sure if I can handle her or not...(already has a MIL to handle, still get a maid? I'll go mad.)

    Furthermore, my hubby don't like stranger living in our house too....

    But my brother's maid has a lot of problems too.

    He has changed 4 maids in 3 yrs.

    The first maid - quarrelled with my SIL. Got sent back.

    The second maid - Managed to work till 2 yrs and has renewed contract, but she too occupied with her HP, that she neglected my bro's son... Got sent back.

    The third maid - Was a rejected maid by previous employer. Has BO and my SIL think that she don't really take good care of her son, so got sent back to agency.

    The forth maid - I find her quite nice leh... but my bro and SIL said she very "xiao jie"... This maid was not sent back by them, it was she who requested to go back.



    Now my bro is waiting for another maid to come...

    Sometimes, I find that maybe it was not the maid's problem, it may be my bro and SIL's problem on the way they treated them.

  40. tanstephy

    tanstephy Member

    haha Serene, don't be paranoid!



    MIL is a constant so I'm indifferent about it.

    As for maid, it's like lottery; depends on luck. Keeping my fingers crossed for the new one!

  41. jasminenbc

    jasminenbc Active Member

    Maid: Yeah I faced the Maid HP problems, We renew her she went back and bring a HP, didnt border about my gal when she return. Kept asking me on which phone card to buy, not even 2 weeks she ask me to buy another phone card.... Didn't do cleaning on my room shelf and I realised it so dusty and my baby is sleeping in the room! But I still give her chance, tell to her and ask her is it becoz she went back and now start to missed her family? She say NO. So I say ok, U got heart to continue? Coz after she came back her face everday is like black 1 lor. No mood to do even my gal go and play in the kitchen she can just ignored her and stand at the sink area, my hubby saw it and talk to me to find a maid ASAP.

    Steph,

    U R right getting maid is by chance if U get a good 1 or got problems 1. Hey did U ever thought of getting Myanma maid? I was thinking should I look for Myanma maid next year?

  42. serenelee88

    serenelee88 Member

    Jas,



    Yeah, the maid also didn't bother to take care of my bro's son when he came back from school. She fed him and switches on the TV and let him watch the WHOLE DAY! My nephew loves to watch TV and once his eyes are on it, he'll not move....

    But we were quite puzzled, how she gets the HP?? My brother never let her goes out alone, even when they are out for work, they just take away the keys.

    (I have told my bro, such action is illegal. He is "locking" his maid at home! If there is fire, it will cost her life...)

    My brother no choice, coz last time the maid disappearred an hour while my SIL was taking a bath. SHe is so shocked to find her not at home when the child is sitting at the living room watching TV. When the maid was back, my SIL asked her where she went, the maid just said she feel moody, went downstair for a wallk... You can imgaine my SIL's face...Haha!

    After that incident, the maid also done it a few times...leaving the poor 3 yrs old boy at home.

    My bro 1st maid also very "super". My SIL told her she will deduct off $5 from her salary whenever she does something wrong(those which they have already reminded her several times and she still done it wrong). And one day, she done it again...my SIL told her she'll deduct $5 off, you guess what did the maid done - She blocked the master bedroom door and demanded that my SIL to write off the deduction, if not, she won't let them sleep and close the door!



    Steph,

    You see, from my bro's many maid experiences, how can I not be paranoid?

    Oh yeah, I thought now all maids need to go thru a special exam/course? You mean they can cheat on that? That mean the agency not good leh, give you not a quality maid as promised.

  43. jasminenbc

    jasminenbc Active Member

    Serene,

    WAH! I never heard tis kind of maid b4. But its true that U cannot lock the maid at home without key. And true that we owner cannot deduct $$ from maid salary even they broke something. Some maid is very smart they know that so they will demand their $$. I thinking should I try out Myanma maid next year. Coz so far we use Indo. maid as my MIL can communicate with malay. My hubby get angry with my ex-maid coz my gal was 2yrs old at that time and went to open the drawer which inside got sharp stuffs like can opener and you wouldn't what she will touch and take stuffs which are dangerous, thats why we both decide to secretly search for another maid well keeping her, we still spend money to renew her work permit and she turn up like that when she return with different attitude!

  44. tanstephy

    tanstephy Member

    Jasmine, Myanmar maid...I also don;t know. At least I can bluff through broken Malayu with Indo maids...Myanmar speak what if their English is no good?



    Serene, yes yes...they have to take like entry test which is like MCQ, testing basis of house cleaning and all, was told by a friend that they have a 10series to memorised given by some agency. Sigh...hope mine is not like that.

    and yeah..becos of the test, I still cannot get the new replacement as she fails again [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

    jiat lat..another communication breakdown.

  45. serenelee88

    serenelee88 Member

    Steph,



    How can the agency give the series for them to memorise? Is that cheating? I thought this test is for the maid to pass so that to prove they understand and able to communicate english?? No?



    Can ask to employ a maid need how much har? I am curious....

  46. serenelee88

    serenelee88 Member

    Arrghhh....

    I really cannot stand it! I bought a pair of legging (with fur 2balls hanging on each legging)from online. When I received it, I let my elder gal tried on it. She is very happy and loves the fur balls swinging when she walked. I told her it only to be wore when going out. I took it to wash.... But I never expected when the next time I see the leggings, the 2 fur balls are disappeared!!

    My MIL hanged the leggings and discovered the fur balls dropped off, she THROW it away!!

    Thinking that even when we sew it up, next time washing will fall off again.

    When I found out the disappearring balls, I asked her where are the balls. She told me what she think as mentioned above.... I felt my body heat rising up... but I calm down and walked away first. Then I came back to her and told her to inform me first before she throw anything away, as the fall off balls can be returned to the seller for exchange. I walked away, thinking how stupid she is and how can she throw things that not belongs to hers!? My gal loves the fur balls, at least I have to tell her what happened to the balls on the leggings... Now my gal asked me where is the balls, I don't even know how to tell her... "Err.. ya Ah Ma throw the balls away because it fell off???"" She think..she think... I feel like slapping her!

    I hate such people who think she is very smart.



    Arrrghhhh...!!!!

  47. superhappymum

    superhappymum New Member

    Hi all,

    I am Jan 2006, Oct 2007 & Jan 2010 mum.

    I am also having MIL and maid problem. Having

    Myanmar maid.



    Steph,

    you r right. If English is not good, we cant comm with Myanmar maid at all. I had this experience n then send her to agent after 2 weeks.

  48. superhappymum

    superhappymum New Member

    Jasmine & Serene,

    I stay in Woodlands too. Blk 689, next to Seagate.



    I also won't let my maid go for home leave anymore if she wants to extend her WP. My maid came back to be lazy (laying on sofa when I am not home, mop floor with v wet mop......) and having HP secretly (only find out the day when I send her home).





    MIL is worst. Can u imagine a pregnant, working lady come home after work at 7pm to instruct maid what to cook while MIL who is at home whole day watching TV and read Newspaper ?

    I only tell myself this: She doesn't love me, I wont' love her too. She doesn't take care of me, I won't take care of her in the future. There is no need to "fight" now.

  49. serenelee88

    serenelee88 Member

    SuperHappyMum,

    Wahh... You'r expecting again after 3 kids, so this is ya 4th one? Congrats!!! How many month of ya pregnancy now? Girl or boy?

    Ya MIL is lazy but my is super hardworking till it cross her border liao. How old is ya MIL, seem like she quite knows how to enjoy life?

    My MIL stays at 794... Blk 689 is very far from MRT... Initially, I wanted to get the "orange" block, but not available that time. Lucky I didn't take there, if not even more near to my MIL's hse - she'll come EVERY DAY!

  50. tanstephy

    tanstephy Member

    hihi SuperHappyMum,



    congrats on your #4, I'm done at 2...even if I want, my 'external' factors are not to my advantage to becoming pregnant again.

    ur maid is very daring ah...well..it seems we are all under the mercy of our MIL as we still need them to help to take care of our little ones.



    My gf once reminded me...that would I be the same in future to my DIL? sigh...i guess it's generation gap.

  51. serenelee88

    serenelee88 Member

    Steph,



    I have an aunt who is very good term with the DIL. I had asked her how did she do that... She told me she don't believe in generation gap. What she believe between the relationship is respect and trust.

    She always make sure she ask whenever she takes/throw/eat anything at her son's house. This is always overlook by the senior and elderly, as they always think that "this is my son's hse, why can't I take/eat anything freely". but they forgotten this is called "manners". Everyone should behave with good manners no matter who you are. We brought the child up with manners yet we behave with no manners when we are old... what will the younger generation see on us?



    Trust has to be developed and earned. My aunt told me I am angry at my MIL on eating my bird's nest (actually this is a very minor issue) is because I trust her that she won't eat without my consent. But she betrayed your trust not only once but many times... my dislike of her have been developed through the yrs.

    It's very difficult for her to earn back my trust now, so she advice me to avoid any conflicts with her by doing it infront of my hubby. If my hubby is still at work, wait for him to come back.



    So I believe, if we keep an open mind, we can be sure we'r not the same as our MIL.

  52. maplely

    maplely New Member

    So i tink it's best nt to stay with MIL. I always think that even however close u r, conflicts will sure arise after a period of time. Nxt time i also wldn't want to stay with my son [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

  53. tanstephy

    tanstephy Member

    Serene, actually I quite envy those MIL and DIL who have good relationship. Maybe becos my mum passed away too soon...always wanted a motherly figure take after.



    You are right, as long as we keep an open mind, learning to forgive and forget, that's when we can be happy [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] JIA YOU

  54. serenelee88

    serenelee88 Member

    Winnie,



    But what if the FIL passed away, we sill have to take care of the MIL and take her in too.

    My hubby asked me this question before, I just tell him whn that day comes, we'll discuss.



    Initially, my hubby wants to move to stay with his mum, so that he can sell off our hse and also to lighten his financial on having to pay 2 hse electricity bills.

    I refused and we have a quarrelled.

    he promised me, we'll move out within a year, but what if we don't? I cannot risk it.

  55. serenelee88

    serenelee88 Member

    Steph,



    My mum passed away too... she passed away since I was about 2 yrs old (a few weeks before my B'day).

    When I was young, I longed to have a mother, but after my dad remarried, I no longer hope to have one after my bad encountered with my step-mother.

  56. tanstephy

    tanstephy Member

    Serene, u r strong and cont'd be strong! [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

    my hubby is the only and eldest son, I'm was pre-empted to stay with MIL if anything happened to FIL.

  57. superhappymum

    superhappymum New Member

    Serene & Steph,

    I have 3 kids only: 4, 2.5 years old & 2 months



    My MIL is not a lazy person. She is just at my place during day time. She is staying with her daughter. It is because of my eldest daughter starts childcare & we avoid going to 2 places (Childcare & sending 2nd girl and maid to SIL place) that we asked her to come over during day time. While at my SIL place, she can go NTUC buy grocery, cook for SIL boy & also well prepared dinner for her daughter. The manner that make me most angry is she didn't even cooked for my 2nd girl in the afternoon while she came over. She all depends on my maid to think and cook and yet the maid is not a good cook. My maid asked her what to cook, she will just reply "I dont' know". Even my maid is angry with her attitude (not loving my 2nd girl). Now then I have a boy (2 month old), she is saying that she will move to my place after I start work. I am very hesitate about it but I have not much choice. If not, we have to send 1st girl to childcare and then 2nd girl, baby and maid to my SIL's place before and after work. Thus, I am thinking of being SAHM.

  58. serenelee88

    serenelee88 Member

    Steph,

    Thanks for the encourgement! A child without mother will has a messy childhood.

    I've 3 brothers and am the youngest... after my mum passed away, nobody taking care of us. From there, I learnt to cook instant noodle at 3 yrs old & learnt to do houseworks by 5 yrs old.

    When I am 5+ yrs old, my dad remarried. My step-mother (SM) treated us well at first, then later she started to order us to do houseworks and she went to sleep. She'll caned my brothers when she was not happy... she very seldom caned me, cos my dad dote on me the most. my SM has a daughter of her previous marriage, so most of the good things her daughter will has it.

    Of course, now I understand why she's bias... it's mother love to her daughter...

    My dad divorced her since I was in Sec 2... reasoning being she chased my eldest brother out of the house; made my dad mistaken my 2nd bro and he chased him out of the hse; my 3rd brother run away from home... till my brothers not in talking term with my dad.



    However, I heard she now remarried to another man and has a boy. She cut her tie with her daughter...



    SuperHappyMum,

    In such case, if you hubby can financially support alone, I suggest you to be a SAHM.

    Once you let your MIL to live in and take care of ya baby and children, you can't chase her out if anything happened... like my case.

  59. maplely

    maplely New Member

    Hi mummies,



    Need an advise. Did u let ur babies take the rotavirus jab? Hw much does it cost at the pte clinics cos polyclinic doesnt have it?



    Thks.

  60. jasminenbc

    jasminenbc Active Member

    Serene,

    I salute U being so strong since young age.

    Steph,

    So U stay with your MIL? I also have no choice as my hubby too is the only child, so have to tahan lor.

    SHappyMum,

    Now staying in singapore with 3 kids and 1 income is hard wor. I also ever thought of being a SAHM. But cant justified the expenses with only 1 income lor, so end up Im still a FTWM.

    Winne,

    Rotavirus is 2 doses of oral medicine by mouth not a jab, to be taken 2 or 3mths apart, anyway the 2 dose is separated the nurse will advise U when to bring baby for the 2nd dose. As for how much I have to check with hubby as my boy took that last year forgot le.

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