After a Divorce - Do you split kids' expenses 50-50 with Ex?

ash11

Member
As some of the readers may know, I'm recently got divorced and my kids' follow me. Just trying to get a feel on how some mummies think here........


My qn here is, do you believe your husband should split the expenses and etc fairly with you? Or do you think as a husband he should contribute more?


My court order didn't state any maintenance that my ex is supposed to give me every month. (Long story why it wasn't included). But my ex gives me about 1200 every month which is 50% of the kids' school fees, maid levy and salary. I pay the other 50% of course.
I grew up in a family where my mom paid for everything because my dad never stayed in a job for long and didn't really save money. So i thought it was ok for a woman to pay for everything. (why so traditional right?)

My ex said before he only gives what is required and what is fair to him. His mindset that if he earns $5000, he will only give $1200 for the kids and the rest - since it's his money, he can decide how he want to spend it. I thought dads will spend on their kids first before themselves.... no ?

If i file for official maintenance, what if the court decides he should give me an amount lesser than what he's giving me now?

My 2 kids edudcation costs abt $1600 a month, + maid's salary of about $600 and a levy of $60. Thus my ex pays me 50% of the above cost which is about $1160 per month. He doesn't contribute for anything else. All other expenses like their food and groceries are paid by me.
 

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It's depend on your financial condition, if your financial condition not enough for you to bear the cost. The court will request your ex-husband to pay more
 
Hmmm.... if u file for maintenance ...1st question u kena wack is why didnt u make provision for the kids maintenance during divorce ? So the judge will tell u ....u are able to support them thus far so why u want maintenance now ?

It's not so easy if your divorce is finalised. So before u follow other ppl advise..be prepare for questions from the judge...alot of questions. Also..dun assume you will get want u ask ...if he self employed...thats difficult, if he's drawing $5k or more, doesnt mean you get half his salary... he may justify he have so much debts.

Think b4 u jump ... n dun think.u get lawyer to fight maintence sure win as many lawyers promise everything ... depending on your case factors.

Normally we self represent our own maintenance. I know cos i have seen alot ..one mummy husband VP .. she only got maintenance $2.5k for her n her w kids n she fought thru a so call very experience lawyer. So dun assume. It depends how you put forth your case.
 
Initially i was the one who gave up care and control and even single custody to the dad. In the initial divorce agreement he wanted me to continue contributing 1600 to him (as we been contributing that since long ago to sustain the finances). After many months of argument and mind games he finally gave me everything (joint custody and i get shared care n control) on condition that maintenance is not stated. i had to agree else i wont have anything at all. Thus the situation now.

He's giving me less than 1600 now. I just need to know:
1) If the divorce agreement didnt write maintenance , can i still file and apply?
2) Usually how does ur family share the finances? 50-50? Or husband pays more? My just-turned-ex-bf used to tell me that husband always pays more as a guy. Seriously?
 
Hi ash11

1) you can try to apply ..just be prepare for answers like i say

2) if yr divorce order did not mention.. you will not get 50/50 maintenance

Technically, the man should bear 50/50 but legally everything must be stated clearly in the court order.

Even if its stated in the order that he pays 50/50 , he still can drag n give excuses.

You can ask.for 50/50..if he tell court he cant afford, dun assume court will force him in jail for refusing.

You can request, judge will ask him if he accepts..thats how it goes. Not force him to accept.
 
I honestly don't mind 50-50. I mean i dont believe in guys have to pay more or something (whether divorced or not). Just getting a feel of how families operate financially - do your husbands contribute more?
I've some female friends saying they shldn't even have to contribute ...say all shld be borne by the husband. Even CPF also deduct the husband's and cannot touch theirs. Maybe only 1 in 20 would say they ought to share the load with their husband.
 

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