ADVICE NEEDED - How to Handle my MAID

Thanks YSL...I will surely monitor and monitor...I wish my maid is like all your maids out there....eat eat eat but she just doesn't want to eat....Have thrown ultimate term to maid if she does not eat well and fall ill again....Honestly, if I were to change maid , am not sure what is ahead too...just hope this time round, maid is of better health when she eat well...thanks for all your concern..greatly appreciate it
 


I just discovered that my defination of recovered and not sick is not the same as what my maid think. I just asked her is she okay, she say no more cough , ok...Later, I heard her coughing with phelgm and she say just choked only...oh my....I guess I just have to monitor her like my daughter...sigh,,,
 
joy, i m in d same situation as lay tin. i was aso veri humane 2 my prev maids. bt after 3 maids, i tink tt i had enough liao. so nw, i m quite tough on my new maid til she can prove 2 me tt she can b trusted. 4 ur maid, tink u hv 2 b tough on her coz she dun seem 2 share d same sentiments as u. m sorry 2 say tt, bt she's fr a dif country after all. so their tinking is veri dif fr ours. somemore u gt such a young bb. take care k.

ysl, ask ur maid y did she do tt? then u'll noe hw 2 handle her liao.
 
i notice that all these maids (whether indos, fil, etc) have very strong taste buds.they like very sweeeet things, esp coke. my maid must add 2 tablespoons of sugar to her 3in 1 coffee. she will also add soy sauce to her food. the worst is she will add sugar to H2O. how i tackle her? i told her point blank that all these extra things will stress her kidneys out and if she dies, its okay. but chances are she will not die, but will end up with lots of health problems and if she has kidney failure n needs dialysis (abt 1.5K per month), who's going to pay for her. i also drilled into her that she's here to work so that her family can survive. if she's down with a permanent illness, what's going to happen to them. i also explain to her the need to drink lots of water. i am glad that after all the health education, she now puts half tablespoon of sugar to her coffee, drinks lots of plain H2O, add lesser soy sauce. i find that majority of these rural people likes their food to be very sweet or saltish and they do not know about the implications of unhealthy eating. "frightened" them with their health n family and you will see the results. hope that helps
 
Lay tin, I wish that my maid can eat and eat..she behaves basically like a singapore lady who loves to go on diet and eat min....Anyway, gave her good scolding and lecture...May put her on some supplements to overcome her weak health.I never like to gamble in hiring maids, probably this will be the first and last one....
 
Hi All,

Thank You : )

wishes-
You know, I was thinking of buying the tin of biscuits. Now, I will let her finish the stuff on my dining table then start all over again...Kong Guan Butter crackers : ) Hee Hee. She asked me if she can drink Milo, I have one refill pack so I agreed. But I wrote the date on the pack and I want to know how soon it will disappear. If it is really bad, I will tell her that if she wants more milo, she will have to buy her own
happy.gif
I hope she had not been taking my condensed milk...mmmm...I suspect she had been devouring my chocolates....sigh. Again I am only suspicious. If confirmed I am issuing RED CARD!

Joy747-
You know, I am really scared of the idea of my maid falling sick. I feel you have to take a stand as to whether it is worth the 'toll' on your baby's health, keeping this maid! Babies are very fragile you know...my 3mth old just recvered from flu caught from her 4yo sister. It was so tormenting watching her so uncomfy. As for the eating part
happy.gif
hee hee...I think you will rather not experience this!

tok lay tin-
I agree with you. I think they are truly deprived back home so come here like everywhere got gold. They think we are wealthy and can provide more than the basic necessities. I am trying to drum into my maid that especially now that I am on No Pay Leave, money is tight. Things are expensive too. Anyway, tomorrow gonna have a GOOD talk with her coz it is her 1 month with me. Gotto think through what I want to tell her and what kind of improvement I want to see...

Cheers ladies!
 
HI YSL
My baby is coming to ten month old this 28.I am giving my maid last chance to take care of her own health.Am giving her proper medicine installed and want her to put on mask when she does cleaning as she has allergy to dust.She told me her cold usually trigger by the dust.Spoke to doctor and she told me its an allergy and has prescribed her medicine when she starts to sneeze....My maid only take care of my baby when he is sleeping in the sarong...that is patting...I take care for the rest of the time...I do not believe in maid taking over my baby as I am a stay at home mum afterall....
Older siblings passing virus down to the younger baby is really inevitable. That was what happend when my baby just arrived...my daughter in k2 then, always down with cold, baby was fortunate not having it as during the first six month, they still have the immunity from the mum.Now, if older gal ill, I go very paranoid....stress up...maid added headache when sick oso
 
hi ysl, when you talk to your maid regarding be more thrifty, try telling her this: "i spend about $800-900 on you per month. 200 levy, 300+ pay, accomodation, necesities, makan, etc. i am not very rich. if you want me to keep you and pay you on time, you have to help me save. if having you @ means i have a lot of wastage and extra unnecessary costs, then i will have to find someone who is more thrifty." it works. this is what both me n my friend say to our maid. every month, i will also go over the utilities bill and ocmpared with last month's graph. if consumption increased for no reason, i will tell my maid. that is how i caught her wasting water (turning on tap full blast to let water overflow the pail when rinsing clothes). after i told her off and offer a solution, things improved and consumption is controlled.
 
Hi All

Joy-
How is your maid? Is she better? How about your baby? I am also getting paranoid when I hear my maid sneeze or cough? I will ask her again and again if she is well. I also teach her names of common ailments! Hee hee... very kiasu. No choice. I have 2 darlings....

Lay Tin-
I think this is a great idea! I will tell her these when I pay her salary at the end of the month! Great. I am also monitoring the utilities bills. She has learnt to save water to use to flush toilet. Hope she will pick up more of these skills.

lemontree-
how is your hiring of maid coming along?

cheers everyone!
 
Yesterday,maid sneezing away due to dusting the bed and I told her to put on mask next time...lucky is not a flu. My friend will be flying to indo next month, and reselect a maid for me....I will monitor my present maid and if she continue to be so sick , I will have second thoughts...Thanks YSL..ITS normal that when maid sick, we will start asking her qestions after questions...like you ,I have got two precious darlings too....Now, my lower back muscle is injured and cannot carry baby...suffering in pain.....
 
Joy-

You gotta take care!!! How did you injure yourself? Have you tried 'Du Zhong Bu Yao Jing'? Works for me. Can get at NTUC, not very ex.

cheers
 
Hi mommies

My parents are getting a fresh indo maid for their own home. I wonder anyone has any experience with fresh indo maids that know only a little English. How do you gals start or train maids with min spoken english? My own maid's english is not bad so I have no such experience.
 
Hi Smashing,

Sorry, mine also speaks relatively good English. I never thought I was going to get an English speaking maid. I actually bought a book on how to converse in Malay so that I could learn some Malay before my Indo maid arrive!!! There is a web site that can help translate English to Bahasa Indonesia. Quite accurate when I compare the translation to that in my book. Hope it will be useful to you and your family : )

http://www.toggletext.com/kataku_trial.php

Cheers
 
thx YSL.
I just hope the maid can learn fast.... though we choose her knowing her english is not exactly good but our req re maids is they must be obedient & hardworking. This maid sure got the obedient look - of course it's only look like lor... dunno actually is or not lah. But if really cannot communicate then no choice replacement lor. Already told agent tt we will try out for 1-2 mths.
 
Hi YYY,

No prob. But there is something I have learnt about photographs of these maids...not very accurate. My maid looked very fair but turned out to be very dark! Worse of all, the first maid we chose arrived and when my hubby went to fetch her, turned out to look totally different. Then maid agency realised the photo was wrong! So my this maid is actually 2nd one...so it is still luck...
 
I actually did a Time Table for my maid. You know the one we have in school like this hour is for English and next Maths etc.

But my Time Table is a pretty nice one so long as she complete all the given task.

For example on Monday, besides looking after the baby, the remainder of the time she has to complete washing of toilets, ironing of clothes etc. Then Tuesday there's other task like changing of Curtains or Bedsheets.

Not too much work cause her focus is still on the kids.
 
hihi everyone,
I also had a Filipino maid that gave me a lot of problem so i am transfering her lia she will be leaving on 21st july.
Decided to employ an indo one instead. I see that most of you dont let them watch TV rite. Cos my Filipino maid love to watch so much so that when you speak to her she cant hear you talking she is totally engrossed in the TV serials. However my hubby always say its ok. Actually i also thought its ok one until this Filipino maid comes along. She will watch and watch and tell me she will wash baby clothes tomorrow which she had soaked through the afternoon.
But i wonder if they dont watch TV what can they do. They dont have any entertainment also can be quite bored. Any suggestion. And do we tell them that they are not supposed to watch TV when we tell them the hse rules.
 
Matsu,

I allow my maid to watch tv, but only when I'm at home.

We have cable tv, so we on the child lock feature when we are out. She cannot watch any programs when we are out.

Usually we let her watch the 7pm drama serial when we are having dinner (anyway she has nothing to do during that time also).

I told her on the first day she cannot watch tv until I invite her to watch with us. Also told her water and electricity is very expensive. If she wants to turn on the radio, get batteries on her own.

I bring my maid out when we go shopping or dine out. Cos leave her at home she will be v bored, so bring her along. During festive season we will bring her out also, eg. deepavali bring her to little india, CNY bring her to chinatown, etc.
 
hi matsu,
Initially I told my maid no tv but later I invited her to sit beside me and watch. She knows that tv shall not disturb her daily tasks and performance. Her daily tasks include sweep n mop the floor, wash all clothing, cleaned toys, meals for my son and wash the toilets.

Some mummies might think I spoiled her but is up to individual, I paid everything from head to toe for her n she get to choose her items (shampoo, cleanser, foods n etc, but only for the first 2yrs sub she paid on her own), she owned a hp (bought it herself) get to use my hse phone (local absorbed oversea from her own pocket) she can wake up anytime (maybe bcos I am a SAHM so no need to wake up early), nap in the afternoon, despite no off for first 2 yrs, given her off day las yr on her birthday and even let her watch my DVDs! Most of the time will bring her along with me when I go out so tht she dun feel so bored.

She knows tht we treat her like a family member, she is very appreciative, auto n most importantly she adore my son very much. When she make mistake or a bit lax I will talk to her sternly (I can b very fierce with her depend on her mistake). I have warned her b4 when she joined my family if she under perform anytime I will never hesitate to send her back to agent. She is my third maid, I used to change maid once a mth n she knows. So far she has done a very gd job, I can leave her alone with my son when I go holiday with my husb n renewing her contract in sept. But never know when will a person change (worry tht once she gets her off day n mixing with wrong friends) can only cross my fingers but nobody is indispensable.
 
Hi ladies,

Thanks for keeping the thread running.

My Mynamar maid is getting along well with her duties. Occasional problems which means a good scolding from me....but all in all, she's staying.

She likes to watch TV too. When she first came, she had the guts to switch channels while I was watching the TV! I scolded her!!! Of course lah. Now she doesn't touch the remote control and watches whatever is on.

survivor-
I think u are really nice to your maid. I might consider being nicer...a little while late. I have plans for her... : ) Last month, spent more than $50 buying her things e.g. new shoes, her soap, hair pins etc...I hope she learns to appreciate these small gestures of appreciation and treat my princesses well too : )

Cheers
 
Hi Al,,

I go to the library to borrow indonesian story books for my maid. Also I ordered the malay language newspaper for her, so she has something current to read. Have also given her a hifi to listen to.

However, i dont allow her to watch TV, as I dont feel that it is necessary and I amnot home most times, so if she gets addicted, then very troublesome.

happy.gif
 
Bcube-
Of course. If I am not around, I wouldn't expect my maid to be watching TV all the time too...I fear she look into my stuff...grhhh ultimately hate that....invasion of privacy!
 
hmm...just a survey, how many of you lock your bedroom door when u r not at home? A few friends adviced me to do it..but I feel that very troublesome leh...

But ofcause, I heard horror stories of pple finding photos of their maids in their clothes on their bed..hmm...
 
Hi bcute..I dun lock my bedroom door coz maid needs to clean the room and toilet..Wat i do is I lock the drawer containing my jewelries and important documents. I guess being curious they will browse thro' our clothes and stuff but as long as I dun get to see wat they r doing or caught them, then its ok loh...a bit of ignorance is bliss lah..otherwise high blood pressure everyday man.
 
hi all,

Just wan to share my experience with u ladies. I hv one recent case whereby my newly employed maid actually stole our money (even thou our rm is locked). So we requested the agency to come and fetch her back. at first she strongly denied but after much "coaxing" that we will bring her back if we find that the money is not stolen by her, she left with the agent. But on the way back to agency hse, my maid actually ran away, but lucky the next day police called us and we managed to bring her back to agency hse again. But who knows the very next day, this maid ran away again, and this time round brought along another new arrived maid with her. And today is the 3rd day and we hv yet to hv any news from them. We hv made police report and still waiting for news. My main purpose to employ this maid was to look after my 2nd bb. Currently i am pregnant, and lucky we realised this early. She looks so decent and we treated her nice, i also don know why she will behave in such a way. Now am still wondering to employ another maid, maybe a Indo maid who is not as smart as a Filipino maid.
 
Bcube
I lock my masterbedrm door when I'm out for awhile leaving maid to cook. But usually, i hardly even leave her alone at home coz I'm always ard. Guess i like my room not to be entered by strangers frequently, thats why she only gets to come into my rm to clean once a week and thats it.
 
YSL
I also got a myanmar maid. She's here abt a mth already. Which state is your maid frm? Do u have to teach her cooking? And are you also making her brush up on her english? My maid is generally ok, but new to city life here and slightly timid. But she has gd attitude to learn. I laffed upon reading your post on maid adding salt and pepper to her food. My maid also cannot do without her chilli and salt for her meals. The amt of salt they eat is horrifying! But back where she came from, they only have chilli and salt!! No sauces or watsoever!! Really pathetic. So i don't deprive her of her chilli and salt, but i tell her to cut down on salt intake and drink lots more water.
 
Hi bcube,

We din lock our bedroom door but eversince we renew her contract, we have found some of her actions suspicious and have started to lock our bedroom doors when we are out.
 
pringles,

How much u pay for yr myanmar maid salary? how much do u need to settle her loan? Which agency u go to? What is the agent fee as well? Sorry, throw so many qns at once cos i need to employ a maid soon.
 
Hi Cherly
Myanmar maid's pay not cheap. She's first timer yet getting $320 monthly without day off currently. Her loan to the agent is $1130, so takes about 3.5 mths to pay off. I went to AC employment agency in toa payoh. Agent fee was $788.
 
pringles,

Wow their pay is the same as a filipino maid, she understand english? U paid her loan upfront or monthly?
 
Hi pringles...

U hv to control her chilli intake too..my previous maid oso chilli eater..she wld mix chilli with her rice to eat...always finish my chilli supply in the hse...At first I let her eat too, then she kena major stomach problem one day...vomit and stomach pain so bad that I had to rush her to 24hr clinic in one stormy nite...too much wind and acid in her stomach...chilli one of the cause. I ended up paying $90 over for her bills plus next day gotta look after my bb...

They jus dun noe wat is to take in moderation.
 
Sammi

My maid is like that too...She kept eating chillie and do not know where to stop...till she fall sick....When she went to my mum house, she see chillie like her life and expect me to pack home for her and I straight away tell her NO and she say never mind lah...you give me abit everyday...the chillie is sambal chillie
 
Cherly
For first timers here, they understand written english better than spoken. But i make her speak to me frequently in proper sentences to improve and she has a dictionary and notebook to jot down everything. Loan is paid monthly in the form of pre-dated cheques that i send to agent altogether.

Sammi
Wow, that's terrible!! How come the maid didn't know her own limit? Did she eat more chilli here than back home? My maid takes about 3 small chilli padis a day. Is that too much? Actually, i'm kinda glad she's helping me to finish my chillis at a constant pace. B4, my chilli padis can keep till spoil:p
 
pringles..dunno her lah, always do thgs without considering consequences..that's why I shipped her out after i caught her stealing my clothes to wear n $..I guess we can't change their eating habit but do tell her to drink more water.

Joy..hahaha..my previous maid oso like that...after her illness, told her to not take chilli anymore, saw her eating one day, she told me pls lah..let me hv a little..told her, up to u, its yr stomach n health.
 
Sammi
For you, you can up to her...for me, she got no choice as if she fall ill, she will not be able to help to take care of my baby, worst of all, virus all around and baby does not have immunity.....
 
Hi ladies!

Thanks for sharing!

pringles-
My maid is from Kalay village. She is not Burmese but a Chin (Falam). I wonder if you know wat I mean. She is a Christian. She speaks relatively fair english coz she attended bible school. However, I need to repeat my instructions to her. She is rather timid and dare not ask questions, especially after I scolded her quite fiercely regarding some matters. In order to control her salt intake, I explained to her how excessive salt intake can lead to high blood pressure etc and reminded her that she would not want to fail her 6mth health check. : ) I also told her that I am quite health conscious and she should learn to eat healthily. So far, so good...

cherly-
I got my maid from Nation. She is one of the two mynamar maids brought in from Nation as a trial alternative source for maids. Salary $320, no off days, but we give her some pocket $ so her agent repayment is for about 6 mths. If you are interested, you can check out their web site or call them up to see if they are bringing in any more. My maid is quite gentle and patient.

I don't keep a lot of valuables at home. My maid has been warned that if I catch her stealing ANYTHING, she goes home. So, I don't lock my doors. Sometimes, she even stays in my M Bedroom alone when she rocks my baby to sleep. She sleeps in my study room, which is also where I put my clothes...I am a huge woman and she is petite, I doubt she want to try my clothes : )

Hee hee...finally something good about being fat...

cheers
 
YSL
My maid is also from Falam, Chin state. Also christian and by nature, timid. I gotta repeat instructions to her and make her practice speaking in english more. Sometx just can't help feeling that she's like another kid, have to teach them everything.
 
Anyone facing this?My maid 5 year ex sin, very good in housework...I did supervise her for a while on her mopping on wooden floor, its dry and okay and I let go....Just yesterday, by chance, I stepped on the floor while she is mopping...its so wet....I told her off and she say normally its not like that....see, still have to check even they are experience maid and has the tenancy to lie and used the excuse that they forgot and I told her to throw the word forget out of her dictionary....
 
pringles-
Looks like a lot of them coming from that area. Mmmm...my maid told me no work especially for women there. Is your maid also planning to earn enough money to return to school? How old is your maid? Mine is 25. I feel they have no sense of urgency. She is unable to detect an emergency...Once my daughter was startled by the ringing of the phone and kept shouting "mama...mama". My maid was having dinner and sat there smiling, while I rushed to her. She almost fell down the flight of stairs!

joy747-
I don't purposely check my maid's work, but I have accidentally see areas not properly done e.g. stove not wiped clean, oily, plates/bowls not washed properly. I'll tell her to look at the problems herself...usually her face will turn pale and she will apologise...My feet very sensitive, so sometimes when she skive mopping, I can feel it. I will tell her which part is sticky and ask her to step there and feel it. She will promise to mop clean next day...I usually don't ask her to re-do what'w been done unless it is a major boo boo e.g. baby's things not washed properly...

I guess it happens...

cheers
 
YSL

I do not purposely check her work too and its just by chance I saw it and I will tell her the mistakes...Been doing this quite often and just realised that when trusted her that she can do the job...when go unnotice, work slack....
 
Ha ha...all humans wat...I think I may slack a little too...but I am not giving her too much credit. Say I paranoid or whatever, but I need a lot of time to trust a TOTAL stranger. After all she comes from somewhere with totally different values and culture systems. I do hope she is genuinely timid and is genuinely in love with my 2 daughters. So far it looks like that...My 4yo is really a darling....really and my 5.5mth is starting to be a real LAUGHING/SMILEY Darling too... Hee hee...over those colicky evenings...THANK GOD!

cheers (beginning to feel rosy again...ha ha)
 
hello all

any recommendations for maid agency as me wanna change my indon maid... she is here for almost a month and u really need to 'watch' her to make sure that she does the housework. Me working so cannot afford to make sure that she does her work. Got agency to told her 3X liao but still.........really dunno wat to do to her :-(
 
i gotten my indo maid from Budget Maid @ upper thomson road in Jun. before getting a maid i hear ugly stories abt maid ill treating bbs and having to do funny things behind our back etc....

till today, my indo maid has never gotten a scolding from me and she is doing really fine in my household and taking care of my little 9 mths old bb girl. my MIL complimented my maid is better than her maid many times. my maid will never leave my girl on the flr crawling when she fetches drinking for my girl.

Well to have good or bad maid really depends on luck and on top of tt... maybe the "trust" should be there.
 
hsee-
I think Carole is right...it is not really the maid agency issue, it is which maid u manage to get. Not giving my maid too much credit yet, but so far...ok. You might want to ask your agency for advice when choosing another maid while u transfer the current one. Mine was from Nation (Bt Timah), she was a transfer maid as her first employer found her TOO slow. She is still slow : ) but I think she is genteel sort, so that' fine with me...
 
mine too a transfer maid too... well not all transfer maid are rejected maids, just maybe previous employer might give a discredit to them.
 
hello all,

juz heard the news on the maid disappearing with the kid.....so scary leh......mayb will wait n c how this current maid is liao......

I too agree it all depends on luck...Hope my luck will change for the better hahaha
 


YSL
My maid is also turning 25. She is working here to support her 2 young twin siblings back home for their education. Her mother did not plan for this pair of twins, thus financially tight. I can see she is showing improvement day by day and willing to learn. I'm glad i can be at home to monitor everything.

Re: The maid who disappeared with the kid
Apparently the news said that the employer has changed 3 different maids in the last 3 mths or so and this maid was unhappy working with them because of a naggy grandmother. We hear of such too often. The maid wanted to ask agent for a change of employer. She obviously doesn't know the severity of her actions. Thk God the kid is fine!
 

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