A job w potentially better pay but less hours for the family... should I take it up?

Discussion in 'Matters Of The Heart' started by first_born, Jul 13, 2010.

  1. first_born

    first_born Member

    Facing a dilemma now.
    Have been offered an attractive position at a bank with the basic pay more than what I'm getting now (in sales) That's not including the commissions yet.

    However, it will leave me w very little time for my 1 yr old. Unlike now, I could decide my working hours. Even though I've been slacking bcos I just love spending time w him and hv been spending v little time at work, and thus my income has decreased drastically.

    On one hand I'm keen on the challenges n the money that will come with the new job. But on the other hand, I'm v afraid of the level of stress and pace of the new job, plus the long working hours.

    Any mummies can advise or share your experience as a full time working mother? How do u cope? Any guilt for not being there for your young child during his early years?
     
  2. thesignaturehouse

    thesignaturehouse New Member

    umm.. i may not have the relevant experience to give a good advice. But I reckon being able to spend time with your young one beats to having a good pay job but left with little time for him/her. If you are currently financially stable and doesn't need the extra $ to keep a livelihood, I think opt for flexible time. Kids grow up so fast and it feels good to walk them through the growing up stages; these are irreversible.
     
  3. first_born

    first_born Member

    Problem is when I hv flexible timing, I tend to slack bcos I just can't bear to leave my boy at home n go out n work. I thought if in a full time employed job then I will be forced to work.
     
  4. jh88

    jh88 New Member

    Not sure if this comes too late...

    Aside from potentially being time-starved... suggest to consider other aspects - energy and mood.

    If you have to put in extra hours and energy in the initial 1-2 years to prove your worth in your new job, you may not have enough energy left at the end of the day to enjoy your child.

    It then easily translates to a lot of negative energy (like impatience and becoming snappy) cos you just can't help it... being time-starved and energy starved.

    The child also gets more clingy to you as the "residual" time that they have at the end of the day is so precious.

    Let's also look at it from this angle - if you missed out on the growing periods of the child, it's irreversible.

    But if you missed out on the new job, you can always find another job again.

    In today's world, it's very difficult to have work-life balance. End of the day, it's work-life choices. You make a conscious decision,and stick by it hopefully with blessings from the family.

    Good luck!
     
  5. ivyang56

    ivyang56 New Member

    I agreed the abovementioned comments. Sometime in life, we need to do some sacrificing being a mother. We cant have best of both world. Most of the jobs out are challenging and some are demanding.I would choose time for my young ones.
     
  6. first_born

    first_born Member

    Hi all,

    really appreciate your feedback. I had already declined the job offer.

    I still ache as it was a very good opportunity. My husband is not earning much. Furthermore, he'll be leaving his job in a few months' time. That could potentially leave us in deep financial mess. And yet I gave up this job opportunity that might be able to earn me enough to pay for the household expenses.

    But I really do not want to miss out too much on my child's formative years...

    I hope this decision will turn out to be a right one. I really need to discipline myself well from now on to work diligently in my sales job so that I can still enjoy the benefit of an income, and yet hv the flexibility of taking time off for my boy when I need to.
     
  7. fairyprincess

    fairyprincess New Member

    I read about Work Life Balance- "Work is your Life, the rest is for you to Balance"! That is the true meaning...

    First born- if you have someone you can trust to look after baby in the day, then taking up the more challenging/ higher pay job is still OK, cos there is still the nights and weekend to bond and watch baby grow...
    But I know you already declined the offer...so just move on for now...
     
  8. zestyzan

    zestyzan New Member

    Hi first_born, I'm with you..a job you can get anytime but the time lost with your loved ones is something you cannot buy back. That's why I chose to start this business, I'm looking for more people who wants to change their life for the better. If you and your husband are keen, let's meet and I will share my business that has changed my life and many other people's. Just listen with an open mind, the decision is yours to make."Give me 5mins, and I'll give you a lifetime."
     
  9. jazq

    jazq New Member

    Hi Mummies, I'm mummy of 1 and recently had just lost my job due to company restructuring, but lucky for me to find a company that provided me with a good and brand new business concept. And I would like to share this good opportunity with Mummies and hope to form a group for mummies to earn more $$. So if you are interested in earning extra money, please feel free to contact me to meet up! Believe me, it is interesting and worth your time to let me share the business concept with you.
     
  10. meira

    meira New Member

    Hi first born,

    I met with the same situation as u... a job offer came knocking on my doors , pay is 50% higher... at the back of my mind i knew this job though pays wells, comes with great career prospect, I will need to be more committed n hence will have less time with family. I took a long time to decide becos of the 6 digit annual paycheck and leadership opportunity , the director understand my need to consider and waited 2 months for me to decide... but end of the day... i decide to turn the offer down becos... my priority n my happiness is my family...N i have no regrets to this day. =)search ur heart to know wat u really wants...some things is intangible n you can't put a price tag to it.... i reckon since my current job pay me enuf to keep me happy... i dun really need the extra 50%? end up i may loss more of wat really matters to me.
     
  11. froggie12

    froggie12 Member

    To me, money can be earned anytime. But the time spent with your child - watching them through every milestone is priceless and irreversible. [​IMG]
     
  12. elisechow

    elisechow Active Member

    first_born, i think if i am you. i would not consider the new attractive position at the bank, since it would not leave much time with the kids. i even thou of seriously becoming a SAHM, (not able to, because of financial burdens), or try to be a PTHM. all the joyful moments of your child, the first cry, first feed, first flip, first crawl, first feeding of solids. if you missed that, you will regret next time
     
  13. star_wish

    star_wish New Member

    if you can still get by with your pay, it is better to consider staying on... for your child.
     
  14. chelseacord

    chelseacord New Member

    Hey there, this is Chelsea.
    I'm recruiting for NTUC Income Insurance Financial Consultants!

    Know anyone that may be interested?Min. 4 O levels pass, Sporean/ PR, 21yrs old & above.
    Do contact me at 96777098!
    Or email me at cordeiro.chelsea@income.com.sg

    We are having a Business Opportunity Presentation on 19 March 1.30pm-3.30pm & 29 March 3.30pm - 6.30pm @ 30 Prinsep hse 1.30pm - 3.30pm.

    Please help me circulate to your contacts! Thanks!!!

    Just to share, we have a couple pregnant mums here working as well & they earn good money too!
     
  15. beatrice_chua

    beatrice_chua New Member

    Do you really need the job? How is your family's financial stability? If it is a good paying job that requires longer time but can still leave some snuggling time with your child, I dont see why you wont accept opportunities. I mean, you may have lesser time with your child as long as you give quality time.
    But if a job will take a lot or a whole from your family, I suggest putting a small business instead.
     

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