some jokes to lighten up the day
<font color="0000ff"># 1
Doctor to his lady patient: "You look terribly weak and exhausted! Are
you having your meals three times a day as I have advised?"
Lady replied: "MEALS ?? Doctor, I thought you said three males a day."
# 2
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me - my pretty face
or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of
humor."
# 3
Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the
night?"
Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear."
Wife to husband: "What? At 2 am?"
Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs."
# 4
A husband was asked: "Do you talk to your wife after sex?"
He replied: "Depends, if I can find a phone."
# 5
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles
and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or
troubles.
Girl: Well, that's because we aren't married yet.
# 6
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.
# 7
Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a
millionaire?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you
married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"
# 8
Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
# 9
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem
can there be greater than this one?"</font>