1st child get clingy when i pregnant with 2rd child

Discussion in 'Year 2009 Mums' started by baby_glendon, Apr 11, 2009.

  1. baby_glendon

    baby_glendon New Member

    Hi mummies,

    I am facing a prob here n wish to seek some advice or suggestion from experience mummies out there. I am currently pregnant with my 2rd child (currently onli 3mth plus), i notice my 1st child (2yrs old) get clingy nwsaday, he is afraid of being alone n alway wanted me to by his side, n he tend to cling on me alot, he want me to be by his side most of the time n will lie on my lap, hug me fr behind n etc... he is used to be an independent boy n very obedient boy who can stay alone in his room n play his toy n watch his VCD while i do my own stuffs. I heard that some kids are very sensitive when their mother is pregnant, n tend to be clingy, i wonder is that the cause.

    I get very irritated by this as i cant do anything except sitting near him. He will keep looking for me n pull me to his room to accomoany him, if not he will start to cry. This week is the worst he is sick, the situtation is worse, he will cry over little things, i started to lose my patient n keep scolding him. I duno what to do.

    Any mummies out there have this prob when you pregnant with the next one, n hw u solve the prob. I keep telling him i love him even when didi or meimei is born, i say he is obiedient n i love him for that but... end up everything good turn to bad, his behaviour getting out of my limit.
  2. baby_glendon

    baby_glendon New Member

    Since i am pregnant i have drop him out of MMI playgroup cos it need parent accompany n it is very tiring for me to travel to n from n stay with him 2hrs in the lesson. In fact i intend to enrol him to the playgroup at my downstair n that does not require parent accompany. I intend to let him learn to be without me, hoping he will pick his speech n learn to social n most important that he can get used to the 2hrs playgroup by the time i give birth on oct as i need to look after the newborn too., but these days the prob rised, n i duno whether to proceed to this plan or what.

    These days he get anxious easies, i afraid if i push him to the playgrouop woithout my accompany, he may prone to anxiety more emotionally sensitive than usual.

    i know there will be separation anxiety for almost every kids sooner than later, whether it is playgroup or preschool, but do u think now is suitable for my son to join the playgroup or wait till he is 2.5year old? But i hope he can get used to the 2hrs playgroup so that i can have more time for the 2rd 1 n even take a rest for myself. but at the same time as a mother i dun wish to see discomfort in my son... I DUNO WHAT TO DO.....

    MUMMIES PLS ADVICE ME>>>>
  3. idaarshad

    idaarshad Active Member

    joanne - this is nomal - a liitle one insticts that will be left alone once there is a new arrival - u must take it slow and dun be angry with hm my gerls were 13 months apart and now they are 8 & 9 - my boys are now 13 months plus and 13 days old......so i do had a share of my bad times - give all u can to ur boy now coz u will have to divide it once ur new arrival comes..
  4. baby_glendon

    baby_glendon New Member

    Then do u think it is a good time to put him into playgroup when he is so clingy nwsaday??
  5. wan

    wan Member

    Joanne, I think there is no 'good time' to start ur child in playgroup. I have a 4yo son & 18mth girl. when I was pregnant with meimei, I discussed with my hb that we won't send my son to playgroup 1st, thinking that he will have the impression that we dun want him bcos of meimei's arrival. we delayed enrolment until he turn 4yo this year. he suffered separation anxiety for 3 solid months. just settled down recently.

    It's good that u have exposed ur son to MMI playgroup. but I guess there is a difference with and without parents. I've seen ur sharing on other threads on how to cope with separation anxiety. personally, most works by theory but actual depends on the parents/ child/ teacher/ school factors.

    if u have decided which school to enrol him, mb u can look for other mummies in forum or neighbours who enrol in the same school. get to know each other 1st. it may help if he can recognise some faces before school starts.

    I've tried so many technics for my son, but none worked. after mar school hols, he suddenly stopped crying every morning and enjoyed his school very much. it was like striking lottery for the whole family!!

    good luck and dun worry too much as u r still in 1st trimester...
  6. prisneo

    prisneo New Member

    Joanne, children have an instinct to the arrival of a new bb no matter how old they are. I am expecting my #2 too after a number of years of trying. My boy is 5 even though he is looking forward to a new sibling from 2 year old plus, he also understands that with the new arrival, mummy and daddy have to divide the attention between both of them.

    I have a really tough pregnancy this time and mostly bedrest till recently and I tried my best to do alot of things with him next to me on bed like reading, playing some games. And I also could not do all the homeschooling stuff with him but getting him to work independently on his own that I myself at time feeling really guilty too. And it might help to get daddy to be more involve too during this period of time which my dh took over some of the usual stuff I do with my boy like going to parks, museums, aquarium, zoo, etc and both father and son have a good time of bonding too.

    My boy has been a really independent boy from young but he is more sticky too when I am pregnant with #2. I think I am thankful is that he loves school from very young at 18 months and did not have separation anxiety since the preschool we have enrolled him did not allow us to accompany him from day 1 (Usually the case in Overseas).

    Maybe it is a good time to really reassure your boy of your love for him as they will be feeling insecure and it is worst if grandparents also rub it in that we will love didi or meimei more next time which my mil told my ds through skype conferencing which my dh and I have to keep reassuring him that we love him as much as we will love didi or we will love him even more and didi will love and adore him as a big korkor. Another thing is to get him to help you pick stuff for the baby which my boy has been doing when we found out we were pregnant.

    Well, good luck and take a step at a time.
  7. baby_glendon

    baby_glendon New Member

    the prob is my son started 2 reject everyone except me. He dun1 my hb too, tik mayb hb is n0t patient en0ugh with him n often end up scolding him, restricting him doing tis n tat. My son use 2 able 2 sty with my small sis hse 4 3-4hrs without me around if i got anything on, bt afew days ago, i jus leave him wit my sis 4 1hr, he started 2 cry. Smem0re im pregnant, n i dun have the strength 2 carry him since he 18mth old, he keep wanting me 2 carry him, n it v tiring 4 me. Last time whenever he 1 carry, i wil say mummy hand pain pain, u big boy oreadi muz walk, n he jus continue 2 walk, bt nw... Cry n cry n cry!

    I oso find his em0tional n0t v stable nwsaday, so i duno whether 2 start his daily playgroup an0t, afraid it wil cause m0re anxiety. Bt if i dun start him nw, n postpone til he bigger, i afraid he wil tik once i giv birth, i start 2 throw him into playgroup, tiking i dun1 him le.

    Haiz... My mind is in the mess. I wonder shd i continue with the mmi playgroup (parent accompany) 4 time being, bt it wil b very tiring 4 me...
  8. bena

    bena New Member

    Joanne, i dunno if ur son is behaving like that due to your 2nd pregnancy...my girl 2.5 yrs is also behaving like this about 3months ago and i am not preg with #2.

    BTW, my girl is also in MMI, no need parental company. which MMI u go to? Why need parental company? I tot only kids younger than 18months need parental compnay...
  9. baby_glendon

    baby_glendon New Member

    The mmi is at JW, it is 2hrs playgroup from 18mth-2.5yrs. When they reach 2.5yrs old, they will be promoted to work group without parent around.
  10. bena

    bena New Member

    Joanne, this is weird leh. my girl joined MMI when she's 19months, without parent except for her 1st week there...then she got promoted to nursery 1 (skipped workgroup) when she's 28 months (early promotion). all along also no need parents/guardian leh...hhmm...
  11. kerene

    kerene Member

    Hi Joanne,
    I'm like you, pregnant 37th weeks now with 1st boy 2 year old. Some1 suggested to me to buy my boy gifts and said that it is from 'mei mei'.

    I did that and my boy seems fine and keep saying the toys are from Mei Mei. And I always tell him that Mei Mei loves him [​IMG]

    He is still very sticky and cranky these days, I don't know why ... I just try to give him as much attention as I can as a working mum.
  12. baby_glendon

    baby_glendon New Member

    tat wat i hear fr frenz too. I tik i muz try it too, bt i stil duno didi or meimei, haha jus say gift fr bb.
  13. baby_glendon

    baby_glendon New Member

    hi bena,

    I tik urs is childcare. Mmi got cc n n0rmal enrichment sch, jw n je is jus enrichment. No nursery bt do have course 4 2.5yr to 4yr
  14. laugh

    laugh Member

    Hi,
    I think is common for #1 to be sticky & crankly when mummies have #2.

    My boy is still sticky & crankly even after I have gave birth 3 mths ago. Although he love his bro but sometimes he will get jealous when i carry or feed ti ti & will tends to cry for nothing. My #1 like to be priase & be call good boy, so i have spoken to him that i will introduce "star sticker" to him, so if he is very very good boy, he will get 3 stars & no stars if he is naughty boy. This seem to work at this moment & hopefully he will be fine when i start working.
  15. wifey

    wifey Member

    Hi mummies,

    I have my fair share of a clingy 2.5yr old gal and I am now 4 mths preg. Besides being preggy that trigger the clingy issue, it might also be a terrible 2 timing for our little one.

    B4 I was preggy, my gal would cling to me after I fetch her home from childcare. Refuse to let me cook or feed her, she juz wan mummy to carry her and kaola in my arms. We will juz stare air for a long time. Now that she has switched to half day, still clingy at times even when I eat my dinner or bathing. If she does not get wat she wants, she will cry and scream and roll on the floor. A stubborn gal who does not take NO for an answer.

    I consulted my GP on her behaviour & even asked if she needs some behavioural treatment. My GP having been thru the stage explain tat it is simply terrible 2 stage and she wants authority. So now, so long as it is not harmful, I will give in to my gal watever she wants. It may be just 30 seconds and I will try to explain to her and take away the thing again. This is a more acceptable approach to her and she does not cry.

    Being clingy, I simply sacrifice my TV time after dinner and sit down wif her to do reading or art & craft or play. If she insits that I carry her, I will sit down and put her on my lap. If it does not work or need to walk to another place, will ask her stand on the chair and I carry her from there. It is less stressful than carrying her from the ground. I will sleep wif her at the same time but she sleeps on her own mattress on the floor. S'times she will wana cuddle wif me for a while, and will return to her mattress automatically.
  16. sunsweet

    sunsweet Active Member

    joanne,

    Is your child at the MMI at JW st 52?

    If so maybe my gal is his classmate [​IMG]

    I'm also preggy with no.2. [​IMG]
  17. baby_glendon

    baby_glendon New Member

    yes yes, which one is ur gal? what her name? Is ur gal ard 19mth old, there is 2 new gal which come last 2 month? The one with mummy or the 1 who maid? My boy is glendon loh, bery naughty 1... alway wanted to play the material on the shelves but much better than the 1st few month liao, at least can listen to teacher more now.

    U are preggy with 2rd too? Hw many weeks now? Bery tiring hoh...
  18. baby_glendon

    baby_glendon New Member

    oh i remember le, u are the one who told me MMI get closed dwn due to fire, then ur gal shd be in MMI longer than mine... Remenber to say hi to me 2morro. hehe..
  19. mummyfel

    mummyfel Member

    Hi,

    My boy is has just turned 1yrs old begin to clinge to me so much...when I walk away, he will cry ma ma ma ma...dont even want Daddy to carry him.

    Highly sensitive to 2nd Pregnancy even though he is just 12mths old... My due date is in Dec 2009..
  20. nana_moby

    nana_moby New Member

    hi
    my ger is coming to 8mths... super clingy to me these days.. refuse to sit in pram even... just wan mi to carry her...or want me to sit ard her...
    when her didi arrives in aug, she will be 11mths...
  21. baby_glendon

    baby_glendon New Member

    hi mummyfel n taslyn,

    wow... both ur child age gap is so near, do u have a helper to help u? Im giving birth in oct n my 1st child will be 2.6yrs old liao, i dun have a helper, i wonder can i cope with 2kid even though it is time for him to go pre-nursery at 30mth but that is only 2hrs. Thinking of putting him in CC for half day to improve his speech, he cant talk n at the same time can hav more time looking after the 2rd one, cos bb need more attention.

    Ur kids is just ard 1yrs plus when u give birth to 2rd 1, so i think it shd be ok ba, when he reach 2-3yrs old, den jia luck, this is the age most naughty 1, uncooperate, n test ur limit anytime anywhere...
  22. nana_moby

    nana_moby New Member

    joanne
    no woh.. i dun have a helper at the moment.. but am starting to look for 1 coz i will be shifting to a much bigger house

    for the past few days my ger has been super clingy.. refusing everyone but me.. so i headache lor
  23. baby_glendon

    baby_glendon New Member

    wow... it is hard on mummies looking after kid when we are pregnant... more worse when 2rd is out. These days im having cramp at my lower tummy, really cant carry my boy at all, trying to avoid n say no to him everytime he want me to carry or daddy will offer to carry him. These days i notice he seem to be knw that mummy cannot carry him, he turn to daddy whenever i rejected him, hahaha.... I try to bring him to my parent house these day, can see he is starting to work well with them, plan to put him at my parent hse 4 3 days when i deliever at hospital at Oct.

    Mummies ou there can try my method, whenever he wan me to carry, i keep saying mummy got baby no strenght to carry u but mummy can hug u only. If he insist on clingy to me, i just hold his hand to prevent him to from falling n when he avle to stand on his own, i run away from him like playing catching, he will laugh n laugh tok i playin with him n came chasing after me n soon he 4get he 1 me to carry. Sometime i ask my HB to do that too, he is so big liao, canot alway 1 carry... unless he is really tired after walking for long. my sis's daughter oreadi 3yrs old, still alway wana carry, the poor maid have to carry her all the time.
  24. baby_glendon

    baby_glendon New Member

    Taslyn,

    No choice for u, ur bb is still small when u deliever, poor u still to carry both when ur 1st 1 still duno hw to walk. y not put him a walker, he will chase after u if u are not at her sign, no need carry. Ur gd point is, if ur 1st 1 started to walk, u will be running mad chasing behind him to prevent him from knocking down. So at that time u are not running ard like mad, but sure 2 kids tend to seek for ur attention especially when both are still small.
  25. nana_moby

    nana_moby New Member

    joanne
    my #1 can hold herself up n stand liao.. but v stable yet.. hope she can learn to walk soon so i dun have to carry her all the time.. normally she is quite guai n obedient. She has no problems playing/sleeping by herself.

    Recently she is abit clingy which i dunno why. I cannot pin point if it is coz i m preggy or that she was recently hospitalised and i was carry her all the time as my heartache to see her going thru the diff procedures when dr want to run test on her lor...
  26. mummyfel

    mummyfel Member

    Hi Joanne,
    My mil and mum are currently rotating to look after No.1 when I goes to work. Mon-Wed my mil is looking after. When I return to work, I'll take over the role until his sleeping night (abt 11plus-12plus). On Wed night, we will bring him to my mum place and fetch him back on Friday.

    However next year onwards, he will be going to full day Playgroup class. The No. 2 will be look after by my mil and mum again.
  27. baby_glendon

    baby_glendon New Member

    Ur bb so small n u going to put him in Full day playgroup, have him reach 18mth n above? I was wondering to put my son 26mth old in anot too
  28. mummyfel

    mummyfel Member

    Hi Joanne,
    I mean my No.1 will be going to Playgroup Fulltime in 2010. He will be 20mths by then. : )
  29. mrsngpk

    mrsngpk New Member

    me too have my fair share. DS is currently 10mths+ and his brother will arrive in Aug 09. They should be 14 mths apart. HB is working irregular hours and it will be super tiring if he's out at work. DS only wants to cling to me.. i can only sit there and watch him play or play with him. He's super active now, crawling so fast, picking things here and there. So dangerous. Hai. sometimes, i really cannot cope. Only when he's sleeping then i can do my own things, but usually, by that time, i'm tired already. i also cannot carry him a lot.

    I'm a FTWM now but has decided to resign and be SAHM after #2 arrives. By then, i think i'll be drained by 2 boysssss....... zzzz
  30. mrsngpk

    mrsngpk New Member

    any idea to let him play independently?
  31. baby_glendon

    baby_glendon New Member

    mrs ng,

    i think ur son is till small, need ur attention at his age too, i dun think putting him plaay independent is nice, still must have a pair of eye to look out at him. eg when he reach 14mth, he may start his first step, then u will be more drained.
  32. sagittaurius

    sagittaurius Active Member

    Mrs Ng,
    why don't you try put him in playpen and put some toys to let him play. Like that you can do your housework ma.
  33. nana_moby

    nana_moby New Member

    hi mrs ng,

    can understand how u feel... currently i am a SAHM.. though my lil one still cannot walk, crawl.. but taking care of her is v tiring liao.. plus now also preggy with #2.. stressed...

    also hv my hands full now coz i will be moving to new house, getting n have to train a new maid to help do chores...

    for #2, i think 1st few mths will still be easy coz it is mainly just drinking and feeding.. best is to work into a routine for #1 now, so that it will be easy when #2 comes along..

    i think for me it is easier coz i will be having a maid but will have to see how things goes when she comes n when i move into my new place [​IMG]
  34. mrsngpk

    mrsngpk New Member

    there're load of toys inside, but he just refuse to play alone. Some times i lay on my bed and let him climb all over or around. hai..
  35. cyc

    cyc New Member

    I had my 2nd pregnancy when my daughter at her 20 months. She is quite a sensitive kid. Her reaction a bit different from usual. I had tried to put her to childcare centre at her 22 months. She seems excited for 1st two days. Then she started to cry whenever I let her stay at the childcare. However, her crying was stopped after I left the childcare. Deep in my heart was pain whenever see her crying. After one months, she get used to it.In fact, she is quite enjoyed as she got accompany to play with. I used to have bedtime story reading with her,thus I bought books regarding new born baby for bedtime reading such as " Topsy and Tim : New born baby". This is to get her to have mentally prepared with her coming siblings.I am also get her involved in the communicating with her coming to be sibling.Thank god, she is quite ok along the period of my pregnancy till now.
  36. hlmommy

    hlmommy New Member

    DEar all i hv a GRACO preloved stroller for sale at $80 ( last price)
    pls PM me for pictures tks alot.

    self collection at YISHUN/TELOK BLANGAH
  37. m0on7child

    m0on7child Member

    Wow I wonder how it's going to be like for me when I have no. 2. I know some children are okay with having some1 else. Does age matter?
  38. avagythe

    avagythe New Member

    SIGH... my son was ok with my pregnancy, kissed belly everyday and night and "sayang" 'Di Di' all the time. With the Real Di Di's arrival he was ok initially, still kisses him regularly now though, then it all changed very very soon. SOoooooo clingy, and I can just tell it is a huge major change for him so I'm trying to be patient with his weird temperament, have to say it is as traumatic for me as well plus I'm bf-ing the young one so baby co-sleeps with me while he sleeps with grandpa next door. And EvErY night I would hear him cry and it breaks my heart SO! Me and hubb's room is so small and packed... I am thinking of bringing him back in to squeeze with us again. P.S: his funny grandpa refused to let him sleep with anyone else when I was pregnant and needed him to sleep elsewhere, (he kicks in his sleep)not until I was almost 9 months pregnant and gramps had a 1 week leave from work that he decided to train the boy to sleep with him. My non-working mil and maid sleeps together, fil works shifts, light-sleeper so slept in spare room. Since then every night I'd have to coax boy to sleep in that room. I feel awful. And worried that allowing him to room in with us again, the baby will wake his brother in the night and affect his sleeping vice versa... Have I sidetracked a lot? Don't tell me. I NEED to vent.

    Back to topic, it happened with my sister's son too. He's 3 years apart from his baby sister, my sons are only 20 months apart but its kinda the same the way they've changed! CLingy and very hard to please. MOMMY is the only one they want attention from suddenly. For my sis it sadly got worse as her son grows older. One thing I've observed and realised from my sister's children way before I gave birth to younger one, that the firstborn must be given priority during the younger one's infancy stage... the infant still has mommy and her love but wouldn't mind or notice and in fact they can learn to get use to having a sibling from birth on while the firstborn's outlook/mentality on his loved ones/family's attention and love for him is "shared" with the newborn. Suddenly he has to respect this new member, everyone is so gentle with the baby and protective over him/her. Everyone carries the baby etc..
  39. thepreciousones

    thepreciousones Active Member

    Ling
    My #2 is just 3mths old. And #1 is 3.5yrs old.
    I have the similar incident that you are facing now.
    This is the stage I have to accept that my #1 is having a "Love & Hate" feeling towards her little brother.
    I'm still direct bf-ing my #2 hence there are many times she is really trying to test my patience (etc: refuses to let me feed him when he is hungry).
    From what other mummies have shared, it normally takes an average of 6mths for #1 to accept #2.
    Don't feel bad that you are neglecting #1.
    As the fact you have been spending many years with him before #2 arrives.
  40. avagythe

    avagythe New Member

    Haha, an update. My younger son is 3months already! So the date we gave birth quite near I'd say? He's my 07/08/09 waterbaby. And situation at home has improved, i just give him(older one) attention, eye-to-eye contact, hugs and kisses as often as possible. So much so that I feel bad about younger son. I feel that it is very unfair that his brother got the whole world baby-ing him even til now and my 2nd kinds of, sits back and watch the whole scene... Anyway, I promise not to neglect him and give him as much love as I can. I'm just hoping for him to toughen up a little.

    And I'm also bf-ing him exclusively. I have overactive supply i suspect (cos he cannot handle the letdown, always choke and then latch again repeatedly, until finally choke again cry hysterically and refuse to suckle anymore.) Thought, hey a good excuse to bottlefeed and pump exclusively so his brother wouldn't feel upset or so, but I tell you this little man is quite the fighter! Just can't take well to the bottle.. was ok first few times, then one fine day after 2wks without trying the bottle he just bit the teat, spat everything out teat and milk. Frozen or fresh. Change nipples also cannot. SIGH. But it's alright. I mean I accept all these are natural, normal circumstances of life however common or uncommon.

    As we all know, maybe not all, that kids closer in age gap tend to grow very close to each other as they get older. So I hope this will turn out good for them. I'm so keeping fingers crossed! Hahahaha... By the way, he hits his little bro out of the blue on occasions. And that is the testing point of my patience and love for all mankind. Because on one hand I am furious at the outrageous move, pity the tiny innocent baby, and another I have to remember not to hurt his feelings, that would invoke the "mommy loves didi more than me" thought im him and hence makes him hate lil bro more......

    I know I may be thinking too much, but really if all these thinking can lead to a solution somehow, why not. Like now, after saying so much, I realise it is not so bad. Situation could be much much worse. By the way he don't cry as much anymore. And he is such a sweet boy at heart, as with all other toddlers, just that he is still so young, many emotions he can't grasp or control so don't know how to overcome or release.

    Oh I love him so much. And he takes so much of my time, though I still feel not enough, that I feel so guilty towards the younger boy. Hope that he knows mommy loves him as much. Everytime I see his sweet sweet smile and hear his coo-ing my heart melts. So complicated man!
  41. thepreciousones

    thepreciousones Active Member

    Ling
    God knows your heart.
    My daughter bite his little brother twice.
    She also kicked and hit him.
    But I know she still loves him.

    Your #2 sounded like my #1.
    Refused to take any nipple teats nor milk formula.
    And I could not express out, despite of having overactive supply too.
    I continued to bf-ing her till she was 30mths.
    I called it a "special bonding".

    I have a helper at home.
    But my daughter wants me to do everything for her. She does not want my helper to shower her etc.
    And #2 can start to recognise people, he will also look for me.
    Sometimes my hubby or my helper try to help me to carry/comfort/distract him, he cries loudly.

    I talk to my daughter like an adult.
    I tell her I have an important task to do.
    God gives me two children to handle etc.

    When she bullies her little brother, I take it as a "teachable moment" for her.
    Etc: teeth are not meant for biting.

    Btw, you can try out this method.
    I always tell my parents/siblings/in-laws because her jealousy.
    Hence they always make sure they praise her for being a good sister, and they always make sure their topic is not always on her little brother.

    Joanne
    It is common.
    But it also depends on the character of the child.
    Some simply "don't care".
    Think positively.
    Like what my husband always say "next time when the child grows up, he might not want to cling onto you anymore. He will have his own friends...."
    Btw, good to get some educational storybooks about etc: I'm a big brother", "How does babies come?"
    Can also get some educational VCDs on siblings.
  42. lye3290

    lye3290 Member

    Be patient to your elder one. Last time my elder one also like this. His behaviour can change from like a Princes to a Monster. Cry the whole day and I don't know what he want.

    During my confinement, I am so regret that I didn't send him to a full day childcare. He really test my patient threshold and I can't rest well.

    That time I breastfed my 2nd son exclusively. Maybe he felt left out. But now, I stop already, so I switch back my attention to the 1st one. In fact, I always bring the elder one out during the weekend and dump the younger one with his grandma. So, it is really take time for him to get used with the new arrival of the newborn babies.

    Now, the baby is already 8 months. Ha...the problem come. He know how to attract my attention already. When we go out without bring him, he will cry the whole day.
  43. didibee

    didibee Active Member

    Wow..seems scary to have #2.
    Im thinking if i wana go ahead with #2.
    Now my boi is 4yrs old liao...
    shacks!... [​IMG]
  44. avagythe

    avagythe New Member

    Just go ahead.... see, when they grow older, they'll probably hate you for not giving them a sibling to play with, learn to take care of, share things with, etc etc.. hahaha. Like all my only-child friends do. No offense to only child moms but my friends, they feel abnormal. They feel like they have no role model, no one to look up to them, no close ones to share woes with. And go ask around, many people who have grown up in a family with more than one child will almost always want more than one child when they family plan, and those who have grown in an only child family will almost always want more than one child. Err.. is that confusing? Hahaha hope you get it. Bottome line very little people who truly loves (their)children will want only one lah right....

    So not to confuse you but trying to share with you that there are always gonna be problems with any decision you make, so just do it really. Think of what you want and what are the possibilities and if you can handle them. I trust that nothing can be harder than having a bad health physically and mentally so having healthy babies is of utmost importance right? Let them fight let them bicker let them get jealous, and they may break your heart however young they are but they're gonna grow up someday and forget about it. They're gonna learn however long it may take them that you love them with all your heart and that family love is precious..

    Wow.. TTC for another... for me I'm gonna wait for 7 years I guess. My 1st son'll be in primary 1 and younger son k1.
    If I had a choice though, I'd want at least 3 kids and have them very spaced out. Ok lah I really want at least 4! haha.. And have at least 3-5 years gap between either one. If I can have my way at least one of them has to be 10 years older than one other. It is very weird but come on, i was born in such a family and it was great. My eldest sis is 10 years older than me and it's great. I sometimes feel that they feel young cause of me! hahahaha...

    All the best to you bee(didibee)-hey my sons' pet names man! Elder is bee and younger is didi. lol. ;D So we hope to hear good news from you huh. Don't worry lah, initially is like that but it'll go. Now that you know you should be able to handle it like a pro. Who knows, your boi may just be the sweetest angel towards the whole "new addition to the family" ordeal and you can then come here and rave about it and make us all hate you.
    Kidding...........
  45. didibee

    didibee Active Member

    Hey Ling! Gd am!
    Wow! I am very surprised that actually you so much too me..haha!
    I really appreciate it! [​IMG]

    First of all, i feel that i am still and even after 4 years having my boi, a negative and likes to think bad of something may happen; touchwood.. thus i even told my colleagues i wun go for 2nd bb if i can choose.
    I admit that i am selfish.

    However, sometimes when i think of my twin sister, i give up the idea to have 2nd bb.
    i dun see the need..especially when the kids grew up and got attached and thats it!
    No more close relationships..

    Believe having more people in a family will have more problems and quarrels and thus whats the point to have so many children.

    I have a elder brother and elder twin sister, now no longer close when them,after i get attached and worse after married. This is sad to me..anyway. thus ..hmm...less problem at home, better i guess.. [​IMG]
  46. bidosoh

    bidosoh New Member

    Joanne, this is natural. When I have my 2nd one that time my first one also sudden grown very attached to me. Well I guess it is their instinct that this is their final chance to own his/her mummy. After my 2nd one is born, my first one became not so close to me anymore.
  47. fancisco

    fancisco New Member

  48. ju2btm

    ju2btm New Member

    Hi I haven't preggy the 2nd one but latelt my son ( 19mths) start to cling on me all the time, I also can not do anything as I need to accompany him.
    even during wknd when I asked my hubby to baby sit him, he still look for me.
    Can not imagine if I am preggy what to do.
  49. micky00

    micky00 Member

    Am trying for 2nd one but scary..
  50. antzapple

    antzapple New Member

    Seems to be quite common. Have 2 friends whose 1st child who was originally closer to their hubbies became very clingy to them all of a sudden when they were preggie with their 2nd child... It was like a 360 degree turn!

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