Cheated Spouse

I wouldn't transfer $10 to anyone whom i had not meet let alone no ID n no company name n no contract, did not meet in office or anywhere ...n u make a police report? How much u transfer ?

Hv to report to administrator on this nicolelimwy ... she's a conspirator n a accompanice
 


I wouldn't transfer $10 to anyone whom i had not meet let alone no ID n no company name n no contract, did not meet in office or anywhere ...n u make a police report? How much u transfer ?

excuse me. i dont need preaching ... i already said, my purpose of posting my incident here is to warn others and not being judged and looked upon like a stupid woman. i'm a victim here so please if you could just spare the lecturing and focus on spreading the word hopefully no one get con like me.

i already had enough headache and i really really dont need anymore lecturing. thank you. :(
 
Sorry not preaching ...only my great granny will fall for this kind of ticks n she'll keep quiet cos she learn her lesson ...thank you for warning us ..but yr story is just too good to be true ... if one is illierate ..i understand but yr story is weird la
 
Sorry not preaching ...only my great granny will fall for this kind of ticks n she'll keep quiet cos she learn her lesson ...thank you for warning us ..but yr story is just too good to be true ... if one is illierate ..i understand but yr story is weird la

U don't have to be so crude! no one wan to be cheated. we are human being.

She learned her lesson, n in good faith warning other. don't u make mistake?
I understand the emotional n mental stress that she went thru, so pls if u cant be sympathetic, don't be sacastic
 
Sorry not preaching ...only my great granny will fall for this kind of ticks n she'll keep quiet cos she learn her lesson ...thank you for warning us ..but yr story is just too good to be true ... if one is illierate ..i understand but yr story is weird la

b
U don't have to be so crude! no one wan to be cheated. we are human being.

She learned her lesson, n in good faith warning other. don't u make mistake?
I understand the emotional n mental stress that she went thru, so pls if u cant be sympathetic, don't be sacastic

thank you bretrayed for standing up for me. perhaps someone thinks too highly of herself and thinks we are all stupid fools.
Let's stop getting back and forth with her on my issue if she cannot understand, so be it.

My post is here to serve as a warning to others that there are professional scammers out there and will do / tell anything convincing to cheat your money. By coming forward with my case is not for people to laugh at or making the person feel stupid. But to be brave enough to come forward and warn others. My purpose has been served and i will not feel embarrassed because someone indirectly called me ignorance housewife.

Thank you and all the best to those we wish to hire PI, do it with a clear mind.
 
LOL~ if i'm still 5yrs old and believe in fairytale story.

having a relationship is having a partner who understand me, accepts me for who i am, honest & open with each other. some one who loves me like no other, take care of me like no other (except my parents). connect with each other. communicate with each other. growing old together with smile on our faces. at the end of our life, we can look at each other eyes and say we do not have any regrets in loving each other. of course i demand that he cannot die before me :p this is not a fairytale. this is what my relationship with my partner.
Why not a fairytale? Love ain't dead
 
My man gone from yahoo.sg.groups to laksaboy to sammyboy to sgheavens to tagged.com.

He has tried all sorts. He has even got affairs with Thai and Taiwanese women.

Once they start to stray, there is no turning back.

No matter how remorseful or what kinda promises they make -- THERE IS NO TURNING BACK.

Only fools will trust the man again. If you want to so-call give them a chance to repent and make amends, then you will live in a world of fear, insecurity, cause you need to constantly check on them. They are happy but you are miserable.

Choose what life you want. Stay with a mother-f***** and live in fear? Or walk-away but suffer temporary misery, and live in peace for the rest of your life.

Hello..people change. The reform. People deserve a 2nd chance
 
b


thank you bretrayed for standing up for me. perhaps someone thinks too highly of herself and thinks we are all stupid fools.
Let's stop getting back and forth with her on my issue if she cannot understand, so be it.

My post is here to serve as a warning to others that there are professional scammers out there and will do / tell anything convincing to cheat your money. By coming forward with my case is not for people to laugh at or making the person feel stupid. But to be brave enough to come forward and warn others. My purpose has been served and i will not feel embarrassed because someone indirectly called me ignorance housewife.

Thank you and all the best to those we wish to hire PI, do it with a clear mind.
I agreed with you.

I really don't understand why she can make this kind of comment.
if she is wife who have gone thru this,she would understand what we going thru.
I have also gone thru divorce, but I don't act like I know everything
 
U should highlight this in the PI thread where u got the contact.

Anyway, its really an unnecesaary remark to make. we are all mummies here, we should help each other, not ridicule when other in trouble.
 
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Please advice me is it need to download from the husband phone or our phone first
 
Truth is no women can ...n it will be become a piece of nightmare

Thats why i always ask ... what good will it do to your marriage n what u hope to achieve
 
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Tai Tai- No it's not some sammyboy online sex forum.He met them on tagged.com (social networking but kinda sleazy if you ask me,not facebook like at all).He wrote them on there and eventually met three women.Two of which as are Singaporean and married.One he kissed the first time they met and this is a mother of three ,the other one he met for dinner one time and maintained that they just chatted.The other woman that he met is from Batam claiming to be looking for her so called missing husband in SIngapore (but gt time to post profile and get online to chat with other men,don't make sense right).He met her a couple of times.First time they met was when I was in Phuket,I had gone on a girls getaway for a few days with my girlfriends and he met her and brought my son along.I will never be able to forgive him for that ever.Again he maintained he didn't do anything to her with my son around,just met for lunch for a couple of hours.On two other occasions of meeting her,he had kissed her and stuffs.I found topless photos of her eventually.

Aside from these women and after his affairs were discovered,I was further TRAUMATISED when I found bookmarks of ads for hookers.When I asked if he had visited them ,he said no but had bookmarked them and he did entertained the thought of going to them in the event that we got divorce.We had been in a lot of arguments where divorce has been mentioned but I really thought he knows that at the end of the day I am with him because I love him and our family.Never had I ever expected him to be looking for hookers right after we are divorced if we are to get divorced.

Throughout all of these I really don't know if he had and would really have gone and slept with the hookers and these other women.I choose to want to believe his words since he admitted and confessed to all these other things that but part of me have that doubt.

Tai Tai,how do you feel when you found out your husband was paying for hookers?



Tiffany Wong - It is by far the most traumatic event in my life.I grew up verbally and physically abused by my mother and yet this actually takes the cake.Like Joanne Au said,it need not be 100% physical.He did touch them,he did kiss them,he did exchange photos of private parts with them) that is enough to cheat even if he has not gone to bed with them.Cheating need not only be related to intercouse in my opinion.Watching porn is cheating too in my books.You're are right,the damage has been done,there's only forgiveness now.And healing on my part and this marriage should I decide I still want it.

I won't endure. Most probably just divorce. Guys won't change honestly. Like what you say watching porn is also consider as cheating. My husband addicted to porn and can watch like everyday. As a wife, it make me very depress even though he never cheated outside for now but who know he might did it outside when he can't resist the temptation.

In this century we are living in, divorce is no longer a big taboo. Some people feel that woman will lose out more if we divorce but what the point of staying on if life is so miserable everyday? As long as we have a job and our kids, I don't believe we cannot cope without our husband. Not all children will grow up astray in a single family. I saw some grow up pretty well. However, if the husband and wife are not in talking terms, it will eventually affect a child emotionally development.
 
It's cheating even if no sex involved
Exactly. Can you imagine how it feels when you are in the same room as you husband. And your husband do this in front of you. And worse is the baby is in the same room as him. I feel very disgusted. I don't even want to touch his hands honestly and I hate when he touch baby.

I don't want my life to be ruined by such man. I planning a divorce secretly. He doesn't know about it.
 
I won't endure. Most probably just divorce. Guys won't change honestly. Like what you say watching porn is also consider as cheating. My husband addicted to porn and can watch like everyday.

Seriously? Watching porn is also consider as cheating? This is one of the most ridiculous statement I have ever heard of. And that also mean that I had been cheated on again and again by my past girlfriends. :(

As a wife, it make me very depress even though he never cheated outside for now but who know he might did it outside when he can't resist the temptation.

As a wife, your thoughts will lead you to two sets of actions.

1) Engage your husband to know his inner and deeper desires, discuss openly about sex and explore how both of you can satisfy each other and stimulate the level of intimacies (He is not your one-night-stand guy. He is a naked guy you have been seeing day in day out).

2) One of the most simplest course of act. Just lift whichever hand you like, stretch that hand confidently with your most protruding finger at him. That will gives you the affirmation that he was the causes of everything. I guess this is what you like to hear?

Who know he might did it outside when he can't resist the temptation? What do you expect when assumption sets in? If not powerful enough then try hallucination. I bet he will finds it real tough to resist the temptation out there. :p

In this century we are living in, divorce is no longer a big taboo.

In this century we are living in, divorce is no longer a big taboo and that is the reason why married couple should do their utmost's best to consistently build and secure a healthier marriage.

Look inward! Look inward! Look inward! The lobster noodle stall with over hundred people queuing not necessary indicating the food is nice. It is the typical mindset that makes it delicious even without smelling or tasting it.

End of the day, I just hope you will not make a wrong decision looking back 10 20 years from now. Take care! :)
 
Seriously? Watching porn is also consider as cheating? This is one of the most ridiculous statement I have ever heard of. And that also mean that I had been cheated on again and again by my past girlfriends. :(


it depends. if u read backwards on this thread.
must the guy watch porn where the child is present?
if the guy is watching porn to get down with wife in the night, no issue.
how often is the guy watching?
u have watched porn. certain acts, certain positions get old.

if the guy search for porn regular enough, i wont be surprise if he will one day be doing it with the family's pet dog.

dont get me started on doing with what or with who is fine. the girls u know here dont live in that world.
 
it depends. if u read backwards on this thread.
must the guy watch porn where the child is present?
if the guy is watching porn to get down with wife in the night, no issue.
how often is the guy watching?
u have watched porn. certain acts, certain positions get old.

if the guy search for porn regular enough, i wont be surprise if he will one day be doing it with the family's pet dog.

Hi jayjayqueenie, I do understand and agree with your pointers. The guy watching porn where the child is present is definitely never appropriate. If the wife did pull his ear, voiced out her concern and unhappiness tactfully yet the husband refused to comply with, then he is not a good husband. He had exposed his child to sexuality at a wrong age. :)

I am not a porn lover so I do not understand why some guys can get so crazy and overly excited over it. And from my real life experiences with my bundle of friends out there... when one flips out his mobile phone with porn, either they poke their heads in together fighting to watch just like children surrounding the teacher for balloons or asked for the phone to be pass around. There is one who even collects porn as a hobby in the past. Watching porn in the day and in the night. Ask him anything about porn and you will have your answers. Guess what? He is one of the most faithful husband among the group and my guess is his wife recognized his faithfulness. At least 80% of our group are very faithful husbands having the wife, children and career as the top priorities in life.

And why the excitement of the porn video in public places, cafes, etc...? Because porn is something unusual back home. A guy who can express his sexuality at home with wife in the correct manner, won my admiration.

There are exceptions too. If a woman marries a husband who is a child molester, up-skirt taker, sex abuser, etc... I only have three words for her. Bo Bian Loh!

dont get me started on doing with what or with who is fine. the girls u know here dont live in that world.

The girls I know here don't live in that world? My provocative approach is never favorable in a conservative country needless to say in a conservative forum. As long as it makes sense, even till a certain extend on a lower scale, the try is still a little worthwhile. My egoism is never at play. I'm talking realistically targeting the right readers and i have absolutely no intention to hurt any even with disagreement in between.

You can see and I can see. Just look at the number of threads in any forum pertaining to matters of the heart. Why are there consistent increase of extra marital affairs? Husband run lion or wife run tiger? What is the hidden connection that triggers the causes of destruction? Isn't sex involved in all of these?

And if you observe carefully, there are many 小三s lingering at any corner and any mile away from you or from myself. No prejudices on 小三s whether what they are doing is correct or not... but they are always ready to take over the roles of wives who left a gap in a marriage with probability that the marriage is heading towards a divorce. As for husband who willingly engages them, is within anyone's control.

Moral of the posting: Is conservative still a thing to triumph? I have no idea. Is conservative somehow got to do with sexuality? My answer is a sure Yes!

I Thank you for reading! :p
 
I don't think watching porn is being unfaithful either. It is, to some, a release from a lack of sexual activity. It doesn't require emotional investment or real-life unfaithfulness - unlike hankering after that new SYT in the office.

I can understand some women disagree with it. But if it allows the man to be faithful to his wife otherwise... I say more porn for him! Watching porn does not make a man want to seek gratification outside marriage. It is the man who thinks porn is lame and weak and would rather have the "real thing" that would do so.
 
Don't u guy think watching porn will prompt u to act out u our fantasy?
Anyway if porn is ok, why is our government making it illegal. Porn cause social problem, watching porn too regularly is definitely unhealthy
 
Hi, I personally do not believe that normal guys will act out their porn fantasies in real life.
But let's put it this way... porn was created to fulfill the desire for fantasy gratification. Most men already have fantasies of their own. And those desires and fantasies shaped the porn industry. It's not the other way around. There's gay porn but it would never get me interested in doing it with other men. Do you get what I mean?

I didn't say porn is ok. I said I don't think it constitutes an act of unfaithfulness. A man who wants to have sex outside his marriage is going to do so... with or without having watched porn. Watching porn excessively is definitely unhealthy and it is not suitable for children so I agree that it should be illegal. However, those have nothing to do with being unfaithful. Men have wanted to have sex and affairs long before porn arrived.


Don't u guy think watching porn will prompt u to act out u our fantasy?
Anyway if porn is ok, why is our government making it illegal. Porn cause social problem, watching porn too regularly is definitely unhealthy
 
Maybe, u don't understand women.
For a husband who rather watch porn and masterbate then to have sex with the wife, its really make us feel lousy.
Imagine your wife who rather watch porn and satisfy herself, then let u touch her. Her would u feel
 
@desparate_wife

Sorry, that was not my angle to this conversation. I was merely talking about porn not being an act of unfaithfulness.

I did not read this long thread in full, and so do not know the bigger story, If the husband would rather watch porn and DIY than have intimacy with his wife, then there is something truly wrong with him! I would take the wife any day! I can't fathom why someone would rather watch porn than have his wife instead. I was assuming that he watched porn when the wife was not around.

Maybe, u don't understand women.
For a husband who rather watch porn and masterbate then to have sex with the wife, its really make us feel lousy.
Imagine your wife who rather watch porn and satisfy herself, then let u touch her. Her would u feel
 
Don't u guy think watching porn will prompt u to act out u our fantasy?
Anyway if porn is ok, why is our government making it illegal. Porn cause social problem, watching porn too regularly is definitely unhealthy

Hi desparate_wife, you are asking a very deep subject. Don't you girl loves your fantasy to be fulfilled? :p

Every man and woman buried his/ her fantasy. I blame it in the word called 'Perception' and that is why I used the word buried. Uncovering the deepest fantasy of your soulmate brings him/ her to the term 'Cloud9'. The trust and connection can be raised to the highest level within a healthy couple. I will give you a few examples at the bottom of this posting.

Why is our government making it illegal? Can our government stop porn entirely? It is an adult's duty to reciprocate towards illegality and understanding the flaws of porn to correctly guide the many little ones (children) in their growing years. No?

Example 1: A man watching a couple having sex in public filmed in porn (He has a fantasy of public sex)

Husband: Dear, shall we try something daring?
Wife: Huh?
Husband: Make love in public
Wife: SIAO AH YOU! YOU PERVERT! (Wife instantly destroyed the husband's ego and he never talks about it again)

Wife: Oh dear, it sure sounds kinky but I really don't feel good that way. Other than public sex, what other fantasies you have in mind for the bedroom? (Wife is being spontaneous, uncovering the fantasy of her husband verbally (it is good enough), continues to capture the mind of her husband)

Example 2: A man watching a couple having sex with different stunts (He has a fantasy of certain positions)

Wife: Wah dear, why you always watching porn? What's so great in there?
Husband: Dear, it is something new to me.
Wife: YOU REALLY HAVE A SICK MIND! (Wife talks down husband. Leaving him with his fantasies till he is back to the screen again)

Wife: Oh dear, it sure sounds exciting! What's the point of just watching huh?
Husband: Yeah! Let's try dear!
Wife: Oh wait a minute. What do I get in return for that? (Isn't negotiating a fun thing?)
Husband: Hmm.. dear you have any fantasy?
Wife: Blah blah blah... (Couple exploring each others fantasies gaining trust and pleasures. After the deed, wife can pillow talks the husband voicing out and requesting the husband to spend lesser time to porn and so on or even watching porn together say 30 minutes a day? Allow him to watch 3 nights in a week?)

The above are just some scenarios that could take place. Again, there are exceptions. I will also leave out how 小三s captured the desires of men they target.

Sometimes, it is really really not all about the deeds. It is equally beneficial understanding how a mind works, exploring together, drawing your soulmate really close to you, etc... :)
 
@Dr. Tooth

What you posted sounds great. It's the ideal scenario. However, the reality of highly strung Singapore lives often shatter these ideal scenarios. Tired wives juggling career and children's needs. Maybe throw in cooking and cleaning if they don't have a maid. And there goes the ideal responses you proposed.
 
Dr tooth, in your postings, we have to keep on trying to accomdate to our husband feeling n thinking, seem that women need to bow down to their needs
 
Ok, I think we should end this discussion on porn. It's detracting the topic and I apologize for contributing to it. Back to the main topic please!
 
@Dr. Tooth

What you posted sounds great. It's the ideal scenario. However, the reality of highly strung Singapore lives often shatter these ideal scenarios. Tired wives juggling career and children's needs. Maybe throw in cooking and cleaning if they don't have a maid. And there goes the ideal responses you proposed.

Bad economic? Sure yes! Stress? Yes! Yes! Yes! No time for this and that? Sure too! I hear it all the time. End of the world? NO! :)

Time management in a family, communication in a family, chores in a family are all critical considerations. Women nowadays like to talk about equality. Sure why not. If a guy helps less in managing the children, helps more in the chores then. Anything involves globally are hard fought matters.

I wouldn't propose anything that is unreachable. Blame me for being a practical person. It boils down to are we willing to make it works? What say you?
 
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Dr tooth, in your postings, we have to keep on trying to accomdate to our husband feeling n thinking, seem that women need to bow down to their needs

True and not true. Do not be fool by the front. :)

It is more of achieving a win-win solution. If the husband is not working to make things work, wife can takes the lead and vice versa. This is the point I'm trying to drive. Did I mention anything that women need to bow down to men needs? Exploring involved a couple and not just a man by himself or a woman by herself.

Men are shielded by egoism and pride to look strong. You do not necessary always needing to accommodate your husband because as a wife, you have your every right in every say but of course lah, speak the right stuffs and try not to hurt his feelings and vice versa. When comes to matters of the heart, by right... women are master of daters because they are good negotiators and by left... it don't seems so. :p
 
u guys probably dont watch much. well, we are facing labour crunch. everyone is busy.

the occassional porn for fantasies, desires etc etc, fine.

u can try watch often enough and see if your preference start to vary. if the regular position still turns u on. if the regular boobies still turn u on. or even if humans turn u on o.0
 
u can try watch often enough and see if your preference start to vary. if the regular position still turns u on. if the regular boobies still turn u on. or even if humans turn u on o.0

Now I know where your concerns were coming from. :D

A loving, faithful, never complex guy may probably be who you need? A never complex guy will answer yes. yes. yes. to your if. if. if. and even to your or?

Not to forget, fate plays an equally deciding factor to the couple's compatibility? 八字不合 is more than a headache. :)
 
Now I know where your concerns were coming from. :D

A loving, faithful, never complex guy may probably be who you need? A never complex guy will answer yes. yes. yes. to your if. if. if. and even to your or?

Not to forget, fate plays an equally deciding factor to the couple's compatibility? 八字不合 is more than a headache. :)

dont think u get what i am saying.
oh well can't fish you out there either.

i am speaking about the posts earlier here.
don't say stuff as as a-matter-of-factly.

we had a friend whose husband went all the way for her during courtship. we witness how he manage to get her to marry her. really the fairytale. but there is less of happiness after marriage for her.

who is to say she did not open her eyes beforehand?
 
Maybe, u don't understand women.
For a husband who rather watch porn and masterbate then to have sex with the wife, its really make us feel lousy.
Imagine your wife who rather watch porn and satisfy herself, then let u touch her. Her would u feel

He has watch porn for more than ten years. Ever since his teenage years. His ex GFS all know what he has such habit but he told me that they are OK with it.

Yes, it really make me feel damn lousy seeing own husband watching porn masturbating in front of those porn stars. I told him about how I feel, and tell him to put himself in my shoes. But he don't care. It always him as the first priority. Everything have to according to his way. If he still single, OK, by all means but he is married with a kid. If one day our baby grow up and he caught him doing this, what impact will he bring to the child?
 
dont think u get what i am saying.
oh well can't fish you out there either.

i am speaking about the posts earlier here.
don't say stuff as as a-matter-of-factly.

we had a friend whose husband went all the way for her during courtship. we witness how he manage to get her to marry her. really the fairytale. but there is less of happiness after marriage for her.

who is to say she did not open her eyes beforehand?

Good afternoon jayjayqueenie! :D

Huh? You wanna fish me? fry me? or go fishing with me? :D

Er... what do you mean by less of happiness after marriage? How bad is the situation right now? Cheating issues?
Frankly speaking, since when marriages promise happiness? If fairytales don't ended with happy endings, how the actors/ actresses/ directors/ film-makers roll in big bucks? The movie 向左转, 向右转 is a good movie. I think many people either can relate to it easily or finding it familiar in the daily life? Have you watch it before?

Even she uses magnifying glass also no use. Everything happens for a reason. How strongly do you believe in fate? Are you aware fate does not promise happy ending too? Fate promises you lessons to learn in life be it good or not good. Can digest?

Many people believe a relationship needs to be pursued? Or like what you mentioned, the guy went all the way out for your friend but happy ending being over-rated. Do you believe a relationship can be equally blissful and will takes place only when we keep improving ourselves? Continue doing what we are best at managing our own strengths and weaknesses and when the time is right... he or she will appears?
 
Good afternoon jayjayqueenie! :D

Huh? You wanna fish me? fry me? or go fishing with me? :D

Er... what do you mean by less of happiness after marriage? How bad is the situation right now? Cheating issues?
Frankly speaking, since when marriages promise happiness? If fairytales don't ended with happy endings, how the actors/ actresses/ directors/ film-makers roll in big bucks? The movie 向左转, 向右转 is a good movie. I think many people either can relate to it easily or finding it familiar in the daily life? Have you watch it before?

Even she uses magnifying glass also no use. Everything happens for a reason. How strongly do you believe in fate? Are you aware fate does not promise happy ending too? Fate promises you lessons to learn in life be it good or not good. Can digest?

Many people believe a relationship needs to be pursued? Or like what you mentioned, the guy went all the way out for your friend but happy ending being over-rated. Do you believe a relationship can be equally blissful and will takes place only when we keep improving ourselves? Continue doing what we are best at managing our own strengths and weaknesses and when the time is right... he or she will appears?

guess u r posting for the sake of posting.

first u ask if the wife knows what type of person she is marrying. so people share with u a story not necessary what u sign for is what u get.

then u divert the case to marriage itself.

opening topic out of topic. dont see any empathy.

i am losing interest here. see ya.

any readers with new stories can come and hijack this thread ;)
 
guess u r posting for the sake of posting.

first u ask if the wife knows what type of person she is marrying. so people share with u a story not necessary what u sign for is what u get.

then u divert the case to marriage itself.

opening topic out of topic. dont see any empathy.

i am losing interest here. see ya.

any readers with new stories can come and hijack this thread ;)

My bad and you are right! My mind is not in today. Been trying to source for some information online since morning and I can't get the information till now.

I thank you for the chat and you take care! :)
 
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Hi everyone,just trying to talk to other wives who are in similar situation as I am.I found my husband of 7 years cheated on me a day before my birthday this year and the cheating went on for three solid months before I discovered it.It has been a really painful couple months for me.I still have not seen a counsellor although he has been going for his sex and love addiction support group religiously.We are still together but sometimes I am unsure as to how I could still be with after this nightmare.We have a 2 year old and as much as I hate to say this ,it does feel like I am still with my husband because of my son.

If there is anyone of you out there with a similar situation please do spare me a minute and drop me a line.I would love to hear from you.
Hi,

I am in a similar predicament, I saw flirty messages on my hubby phone in Feb 2016 ( was having confinement and nv was around 3 months old then), confronted my hubby who got frantic and then he cook up a story of lies which later on, I dig and search and the last version I finally gotten is that he visited Massagers and prostitutes (since may 2013 after a company retreat Phuket trip) since our first child was 5 months old.

For this past 1 year, it was a whirlwind of questioning, crying, digging and exposing more and more things that he did in the past such as posting reviews of pros at sammyboy forum. I would say that his lies are all about what he did in the past and he is too ashamed to let out the whole truth and hence resulted in me exposing more and more through digging. But this past one year, there is no proof that he continued to visit those places and he has done several things to show his repentance and actions to try to earn back my trust

1) he has apologised and admit that it's his fault right from the start of exposure
2) he said he will not do it anymore and hence he install car camera for me to track his movements, I can see the recordings as and when I requested
3) his pay is credited to my accounts now and he only has 10 dollar a day to spend
4) I can see his phone and computer, no more passwords
5) he gives me a miss call when he reach office and after he leaves
6) no more OTs, no more going out shopping alone and I can request to see his leave quotas as and when I want
7) he also allows me to message his colleagues should I need proof he is in office etc
8) I can request for a photo from him anytime of the day to prove his whereabouts

I recognise his efforts and all along he has been a doting Father to my kids even during those years he acted out, he also treats me and my fam well during those days that's why I had so much trust in him that I just put off those "weird instincts" I had until Feb 2016 I discover the messages by chance.

I am now having problems regaining my trust and having to live in peace even through he has been making efforts. On and off I kept repeating my past questions and still think of divorce which I think has affected his morale also. I don't know what to do, I don't want to tire him out cos I did see his efforts and having a full time job and yet still come home to help out with kids and answering so many questions from me is tiring him out but yet I can't seem to move forward.
 
Whoa ... don't tell me its another case of sammyboy online sex forums.

How did he get to know women online?

My HB did the same, he went to online sex forums to know women and have paid sex with them.
Hi taitai,

My hubby did the same things as yours. I think you mentioned he cried and even hit his fist against the wall and apologised after you found out? And then you also said that but despite all these, He didn't change and you have given up on him? (Pardon me if I confuse your stories with others)

Can I ask you, besides crying and apologising, is there anything else he did to gain back trust but yet you found out he visited pros again? How Long did he stop before he went back again? I m Asking because my hubby seems repentant and making efforts but I m also scared he might still go back despite all these dramas and efforts.
 
Hi Kopi,

As a guy, I must applaud him for his efforts to atone for his mistakes. I honestly think he scores an A+ for effort. If you read many of the other posts with related issues... you will see for yourself that your hubby has scored in the top 10% for effort. So I would advise that you slowly learn to let go and forgive him. He has already surrendered all his freedom and paycheck to you. I think he has lowered his dignity enough. What else could he possibly do to appease you? :)

So hard as it may be... try and let it go.. bit by bit.

Hi,

1) he has apologised and admit that it's his fault right from the start of exposure
2) he said he will not do it anymore and hence he install car camera for me to track his movements, I can see the recordings as and when I requested
3) his pay is credited to my accounts now and he only has 10 dollar a day to spend
4) I can see his phone and computer, no more passwords
5) he gives me a miss call when he reach office and after he leaves
6) no more OTs, no more going out shopping alone and I can request to see his leave quotas as and when I want
7) he also allows me to message his colleagues should I need proof he is in office etc
8) I can request for a photo from him anytime of the day to prove his whereabouts

I recognise his efforts and all along he has been a doting Father to my kids even during those years he acted out, he also treats me and my fam well during those days that's why I had so much trust in him that I just put off those "weird instincts" I had until Feb 2016 I discover the messages by chance.
/QUOTE]
 


Yes, we are still staying under one roof but leading separate lives.

Man has no intention of divorcing for the sake of the kids. One think about this man, he LOVEs the kids. He is a very responsible and doting dad. And the kids love him just as much. As a mother, this will "soften" my heart.

I can file for D anytime, on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. But we will then need to split loads of stuff. Obviously, after the real D, we cannot be living together. So ... what will happen to my kids? We are maidless and have no help from inlaws or my parents. Taking care of the kids is a shared responsibility between the two of us. Without me, cannot. Without him, also cannot.
Taitai,
My situation is almost like yours too and I am staying on this because of my kids. The only difference is that my hubby's gf is the same one for 8yrs. She can control him better than me in a way, he dare not stray or else he will be in deep shit. They are underground relationship as that woman is married too but not on good terms with her hubby. From what I know, that woman sleep separate room. I read it from some of their message. As the woman ask my hubby if she should divorce but my hubby never reply.. Not too sure why but my hubby wanted to keep this family but hurt me everytime.
 

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