Cheated Spouse
- Thread starter fortheloveofgod
- Start date
hi shearer,
i think you are not correct. u cant speak for you dont know who is/has been here.
secondly, i dont mean anyone who post here need to have 1st class advice but at least it is sound,
logical and it helps others. giving nonsensical advice is not right.
a forum doesnt depicts the standard of people coming in to forum, it depicts the needs of people
who need advice.
do you mean that people f high social standing sure to know how to deal with marraige?
of cos u like to TKSS no problem as long as its not some absurd advice.
i m trying to promote sound advice and responsible posting, that,s all.
i think you are not correct. u cant speak for you dont know who is/has been here.
secondly, i dont mean anyone who post here need to have 1st class advice but at least it is sound,
logical and it helps others. giving nonsensical advice is not right.
a forum doesnt depicts the standard of people coming in to forum, it depicts the needs of people
who need advice.
do you mean that people f high social standing sure to know how to deal with marraige?
of cos u like to TKSS no problem as long as its not some absurd advice.
i m trying to promote sound advice and responsible posting, that,s all.
shearer
Active Member
Wendy, advice is a matter of perspective. Too subjective. One man's meat is another's poison. Sound advice to you maybe useless advice to timmerin, for example.
But seriously, think about it. If, if you are a high flier. Really. U will bring urself to surf the web for such forums?
I dun know. I am not a high flier. But. Quite hard to imagine a VP or Director surfing such sites. Going for high teas, surfing US stock markets. More likely. Or the latest Chanel catalogue.
But seriously, think about it. If, if you are a high flier. Really. U will bring urself to surf the web for such forums?
I dun know. I am not a high flier. But. Quite hard to imagine a VP or Director surfing such sites. Going for high teas, surfing US stock markets. More likely. Or the latest Chanel catalogue.
Hi Wendy,
To your posts.
Hope I will like it, will it matter if i say i don't? It dosent cuz you are posting anyways right? so, dont need to ask this question.
On knowing someone before getting married. Why do we need to know someone well before we get married and why not vice versa? (i wanted to say common sense, but decided against for fear of offending you) Quite simply because, knowing someone before marriage allows you to ascertain if this person is hubby quality and other factors (e.g. family, financial, job etc....). and whether he assess the gf-then to be wife quality. Again, from a guy's point of view. knowing someone is not easy and hence, in an ideal situation, we need more time. The more the better, just like practice makes perfect (i dun think you wana go for exams first before really acing the practice right). well, you may take a risk and chose to know someone better after marriage if it works for you.
On how do you know the person well enough? there are many indicators to point out to that. For example, are there still new things you are noticing about him after say 2 years of courtship, do you think you have seen his actual nature? How can i quantify this? I think this will fall more towards your feelings and the ability to try and think in his shoes. I dont think I am in a position to fully provide the ways you know. Cuz from a women's perspective, I dun want to say much for fear of disagreement with people and offending, but its your guy, you should be the one knowing how to ascertain (his life habits, his character, his potential, who am i to judge?)
On people change. The environment change all the time and this brings about a change to the person in the same environment. Simple way to see it. You begin courtship since early uni days/poly days (watever). Simple love right. Then he starts working and was exposed to the new environment. He wasnt the same guy you used to know. some became more ambitious, wanting the best out of everything in life. Some, contented with the exisiting life and maybe a few years later, he wants something better and so on but one thing is quite certain, his innate nature seldoms mutates to the point he becomes a totally different person. So you know someone else before you got married and subsequently environment changes. Will the fact that you know this person well before the marriage help increase the chance that these environmental changes will not affect your marriage? Yes. Logic being, you started with a piece of tested material that you believe, can withhstand the test of time. The chances of holding on to a not fully tested material may not be such a good choice. (Hope this works for you)
Withnessing a robbery and not reporting is a crime regardless of your reasons (i shall not use abet, yes withholding is more appropriate in this sense
). (fear of personal safety, watever) Can we not argue on this?
Why should wife negotiate slogging terms. I call it slogging because (my own opinion) what wives do at home is not easy work. Why should there be at least a talk (negotiation) is because you set an expectation to your bf/hubby. The expectation was something he agreed on previously and should be the basis both work towards maintaining a home/family together (disagree?). If he subsequently breaches it. What i feel, from a woman's point of view, there is a point to bring up and discuss. Because at least you have a basis to start being concerned about what is happening and why is he not doing. Punishment? I am not sure in your context what you would like to see done. Most importantly it must work. My friends/contacts feedback as follows: wife nag till he cannot take it and do it, wife scream and shout, some hit hubby (semi painful kinds not out to kill), some dont cook, irritate him and not let him sleep and etc (to the degree that is acceptable to each individual couple). This is couple dynamics and there shouldnt be a hard and fast rule.
Honestly Wendy, there are so many couples that go through wedding counselling after their spouses cheat. Some hubies are lucky enough to meet a nice wife who can try to forgive and turn a blind eye to their husbands past misdeeds. But how many of them can live past this excruiciating point and how many hubbies actually dun go back their old ways? I know a total of 37 couples who got divorced after marriage counselling when their hubby cheated and none who came back together. So the chance may be there, but slim. sorry if 37 is not alot. Really no examples to show the relationship is the same/survivied after counselling. Anyways. 37 is increasing now based on new cases on hand. so....
I know you are trying to make sure that i post responsibly. Anyways, commenting from a guy's perspective. You are not a guy are you? I think you have good intentions mdm, but dont think i need you to tell me what to do. Thanks.
To your posts.
Hope I will like it, will it matter if i say i don't? It dosent cuz you are posting anyways right? so, dont need to ask this question.
On knowing someone before getting married. Why do we need to know someone well before we get married and why not vice versa? (i wanted to say common sense, but decided against for fear of offending you) Quite simply because, knowing someone before marriage allows you to ascertain if this person is hubby quality and other factors (e.g. family, financial, job etc....). and whether he assess the gf-then to be wife quality. Again, from a guy's point of view. knowing someone is not easy and hence, in an ideal situation, we need more time. The more the better, just like practice makes perfect (i dun think you wana go for exams first before really acing the practice right). well, you may take a risk and chose to know someone better after marriage if it works for you.
On how do you know the person well enough? there are many indicators to point out to that. For example, are there still new things you are noticing about him after say 2 years of courtship, do you think you have seen his actual nature? How can i quantify this? I think this will fall more towards your feelings and the ability to try and think in his shoes. I dont think I am in a position to fully provide the ways you know. Cuz from a women's perspective, I dun want to say much for fear of disagreement with people and offending, but its your guy, you should be the one knowing how to ascertain (his life habits, his character, his potential, who am i to judge?)
On people change. The environment change all the time and this brings about a change to the person in the same environment. Simple way to see it. You begin courtship since early uni days/poly days (watever). Simple love right. Then he starts working and was exposed to the new environment. He wasnt the same guy you used to know. some became more ambitious, wanting the best out of everything in life. Some, contented with the exisiting life and maybe a few years later, he wants something better and so on but one thing is quite certain, his innate nature seldoms mutates to the point he becomes a totally different person. So you know someone else before you got married and subsequently environment changes. Will the fact that you know this person well before the marriage help increase the chance that these environmental changes will not affect your marriage? Yes. Logic being, you started with a piece of tested material that you believe, can withhstand the test of time. The chances of holding on to a not fully tested material may not be such a good choice. (Hope this works for you)
Withnessing a robbery and not reporting is a crime regardless of your reasons (i shall not use abet, yes withholding is more appropriate in this sense
). (fear of personal safety, watever) Can we not argue on this?Why should wife negotiate slogging terms. I call it slogging because (my own opinion) what wives do at home is not easy work. Why should there be at least a talk (negotiation) is because you set an expectation to your bf/hubby. The expectation was something he agreed on previously and should be the basis both work towards maintaining a home/family together (disagree?). If he subsequently breaches it. What i feel, from a woman's point of view, there is a point to bring up and discuss. Because at least you have a basis to start being concerned about what is happening and why is he not doing. Punishment? I am not sure in your context what you would like to see done. Most importantly it must work. My friends/contacts feedback as follows: wife nag till he cannot take it and do it, wife scream and shout, some hit hubby (semi painful kinds not out to kill), some dont cook, irritate him and not let him sleep and etc (to the degree that is acceptable to each individual couple). This is couple dynamics and there shouldnt be a hard and fast rule.
Honestly Wendy, there are so many couples that go through wedding counselling after their spouses cheat. Some hubies are lucky enough to meet a nice wife who can try to forgive and turn a blind eye to their husbands past misdeeds. But how many of them can live past this excruiciating point and how many hubbies actually dun go back their old ways? I know a total of 37 couples who got divorced after marriage counselling when their hubby cheated and none who came back together. So the chance may be there, but slim. sorry if 37 is not alot. Really no examples to show the relationship is the same/survivied after counselling. Anyways. 37 is increasing now based on new cases on hand. so....
I know you are trying to make sure that i post responsibly. Anyways, commenting from a guy's perspective. You are not a guy are you? I think you have good intentions mdm, but dont think i need you to tell me what to do. Thanks.
I have been silently reading this thread periodically. Many men are not as genuinely nice as they seems once they are away from public scrutiny. I have personally witness many of their philandering ways.
However, that does not mean that there are no real gentleman husband men around. Just that there are few and to some ladies, they may come across as boring boyfriend material.
I, for one, will not tell my working peers my visit to this forum. After all, this has got nothing to do with my professional work. Depending on what is my current interest, I will look to forums for information. For instance, if I am looking to purchase a new car I will visit car forums to check out the feedback and reviews before I narrow down the choices and making trips to the showrooms.
However, that does not mean that there are no real gentleman husband men around. Just that there are few and to some ladies, they may come across as boring boyfriend material.
I, for one, will not tell my working peers my visit to this forum. After all, this has got nothing to do with my professional work. Depending on what is my current interest, I will look to forums for information. For instance, if I am looking to purchase a new car I will visit car forums to check out the feedback and reviews before I narrow down the choices and making trips to the showrooms.
shearer,
advise is definitely not about a person's perspective. which school did you graduate from that taught you this? it is not subjective to begin with.
i never mention i am a high flyer neither did i mention that i am not a high flyer.
if you think VPs and directors dont come here to seek advise its because people like you degrade the standard of this forum. other forum maybe used for socialising purpose, but this forum, especially this thread is for more serious stuff.
being discriminating thinking that people who come here are not of high social standing show how base and immature you are and it is exactly people like you tarnish the real purpose of this thread setter.
people has different perspective in life, some choose to earn good money while others like to do voluntary work. some like to help others and some choose to waste their life. its yours to decide. a surgeon needs the advice of a plumber when his tap leaks, the plumber 's advise is definitely not subjective, nor perspective. a lawyer need a doctors advice if he is sick. likewise, your so-call high flyer friend may also need advise in other expect of their lives.
you may think highly of those friends of yours, good for you,.. but there are people whom i think highly of, they are those who spend their time trying to safe lives out there..
hope you learn and upgrade, i shall not engage you further as there are lots for you to ponder.
happy learning.
advise is definitely not about a person's perspective. which school did you graduate from that taught you this? it is not subjective to begin with.
i never mention i am a high flyer neither did i mention that i am not a high flyer.
if you think VPs and directors dont come here to seek advise its because people like you degrade the standard of this forum. other forum maybe used for socialising purpose, but this forum, especially this thread is for more serious stuff.
being discriminating thinking that people who come here are not of high social standing show how base and immature you are and it is exactly people like you tarnish the real purpose of this thread setter.
people has different perspective in life, some choose to earn good money while others like to do voluntary work. some like to help others and some choose to waste their life. its yours to decide. a surgeon needs the advice of a plumber when his tap leaks, the plumber 's advise is definitely not subjective, nor perspective. a lawyer need a doctors advice if he is sick. likewise, your so-call high flyer friend may also need advise in other expect of their lives.
you may think highly of those friends of yours, good for you,.. but there are people whom i think highly of, they are those who spend their time trying to safe lives out there..
hope you learn and upgrade, i shall not engage you further as there are lots for you to ponder.
happy learning.
shearer
Active Member
Wendy. Lets not go into personal attacks. Especially among same gender. I am trying to diffuse the situation and put things into perspective. Afterall. This is a mothers forum. Not created for guys. But since guys are welcomed, we should not expect high quality guys to come in and give high quality answers... note my word. Its do not expect. I am not saying there isnt.
But. Come on. If your hubby is the regional director. And he tells u that he surf and participate in this forum for ladies... omg... what will u think of him?
Ask him to wake up his idea and put his time to better use such as increasing the portfolio value!
But. Come on. If your hubby is the regional director. And he tells u that he surf and participate in this forum for ladies... omg... what will u think of him?
Ask him to wake up his idea and put his time to better use such as increasing the portfolio value!
pixie ng
Well-Known Member
if a husband dun even dare to open up to his wife even for such a small issue of surfing motherhood forum & if the wife makes such a big issue of her husband surfing motherhood forum, and even belittle him.
i think the marriage seriously have issue...
for example my partner consider under mgmt roles, after he complete his work, he can play his HP games, he can go cut his hair and do whatever he likes. bottomline is he already completed his work, he just took less time than others. there isn't any need to judge him or demand him to do something "useful".
you perceive those high fliers wrongly. maybe some really so hardcore that 24/7 is doing something "useful". but there are high fliers who will surf forum, and do some "normal" people like us do every single day.
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pixie ng
Well-Known Member
LOL~ if i'm still 5yrs old and believe in fairytale story.
having a relationship is having a partner who understand me, accepts me for who i am, honest & open with each other. some one who loves me like no other, take care of me like no other (except my parents). connect with each other. communicate with each other. growing old together with smile on our faces. at the end of our life, we can look at each other eyes and say we do not have any regrets in loving each other. of course i demand that he cannot die before me
this is not a fairytale. this is what my relationship with my partner.
pixie ng
Well-Known Member
just find a good partner?
i dun think my partner is last of his kind...haha... there's still plenty out there...
People come to forum for various reasons. Good, bad or prefer to be anonymous. But anyway hard to convince someone who doesn't believe in true love. I disagreed with a lot of shallow instances that were quoted and hence, I also prefer not to contribute or engage further.
hey daman,
you didnt answer any of my question with regards to the topic. so useless and wasted my time reading. thanks for the effort anyway.
to shearer,
your post is ju as shallow as you are. kaput.
i am suspicious that you and daman are one person and if not then a team. why dont you tell us your agenda of being here?
cheers.
you didnt answer any of my question with regards to the topic. so useless and wasted my time reading. thanks for the effort anyway.
to shearer,
your post is ju as shallow as you are. kaput.
i am suspicious that you and daman are one person and if not then a team. why dont you tell us your agenda of being here?
cheers.
shearer
Active Member
Oh my... so u r saying hurt wives and hurt mummies must give and receive chim advice?
So, if my hubby cheats on me, I come to this forum. Seek solace. But turns out my comments not chim. So I should terminate my account?
Anyways, u write like a guy in certain aspects too... aggressive sia
So, if my hubby cheats on me, I come to this forum. Seek solace. But turns out my comments not chim. So I should terminate my account?
Anyways, u write like a guy in certain aspects too... aggressive sia
No solution to instances that 1) wife will be good and faithful if hubby is high flier, has 6 packs and got gold for IPPT. 2) those visiting forum are non high fliers, 3) saggy boobs is gone case for the wife. 4) good people doesn't Keng MCs or whatever. These values are already so strong and deep in your mind.
shearer
Active Member
Oh..
So u dun mind ur hubby fails IPPT annually. Goes for RT. Cool.
And who the hell likes to hold touch saggy boobs... imagine ur hubby arm thighs are saggy... gosh. .. MCs? Oh my... is it right to keng MCs and make ur colleagues cover?
I am sure u have bosses and frens who earn alot and high profile. Wont it surprise u if they ever visit online forums? ? LKY award winner, SAF overseas scholarship recipients, Country Director, Regional Controller. For example. Can I imagine them to be seated. Surf forums. Read. And dish out advice. Maybe. But not likely.
So u dun mind ur hubby fails IPPT annually. Goes for RT. Cool.
And who the hell likes to hold touch saggy boobs... imagine ur hubby arm thighs are saggy... gosh. .. MCs? Oh my... is it right to keng MCs and make ur colleagues cover?
I am sure u have bosses and frens who earn alot and high profile. Wont it surprise u if they ever visit online forums? ? LKY award winner, SAF overseas scholarship recipients, Country Director, Regional Controller. For example. Can I imagine them to be seated. Surf forums. Read. And dish out advice. Maybe. But not likely.
Kidding me Wendy or you dun understand your own English? please look at your own post to shearer, accusing her to be me actually? Do you think accusing her to be linked to me in any way not defamatory? I dun get angry answering dumb posts. But talking to retarded ones piss me off normally. I think you exposed my weakness and true side!!!
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i just saw you in my office Wendy. I told the cleaner to clear it.
Anyways Wendy, I am sick of talking and replying to your questions and handling your little tantrums. I notice you like to simply dump your personal opinion on explanations I took time to craft without any support or justifications. Let's not do this anymore. Just dun associate my name into any comments you may make. Sorry, really getting nowhere with you.
Anyways Wendy, I am sick of talking and replying to your questions and handling your little tantrums. I notice you like to simply dump your personal opinion on explanations I took time to craft without any support or justifications. Let's not do this anymore. Just dun associate my name into any comments you may make. Sorry, really getting nowhere with you.
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shearer
Active Member
Steady lah Daman, on the ball lah, u. Chill both. No point getting worked up. For all we know. Wendy may be having her 2nd day menstruation today and Daman may be bottling up weeks of cum without release. FFS. Just a forum. People who readily come in and lap up all advice. ... I am loss for words... wheres the salt bottle....
pixie ng
Well-Known Member
i guess it sad that a r/ship after a period of time, it still boils down to physical appearance. i cant deny that first impression is always physical. everyone wants to date a hot hunk or a chiobu, rather than ajusshi or ajumma.
but after a period of time, when both of you bonded and connected in a r/ship, when both of you look at each other. he should be looking on who you are. not how you look anymore. focus point should not be physical appearance anymore. afterall everyone age. as long as you age gracefully, i don't think is a big deal.
when my partner just started dating me, he is quite muscular because he visit gym 4 times per week to workout his body. now his main focus is taking care of me, which means fetch me to work, fetch me home, fetch my dogs to my parents' hse, bring me to gynae, buy grocery for the house, and all those boring stuffs. so his gym time is reduce to twice per week, which of course impact his physical outlook. but do i belittle him for the not so firm body? no, i don't. the change is because of me, he cares about me more than his muscles. i greatly appreciate that.
not really... i know people who are high fliers who visit forum... LOL~
maybe not motherhood forum (or they still havent tell me yet), but they do visit other forums like HWZ or fishing or some forum in their interest...
someone high up and rich, doesnt mean they don't do things like what "normal" people do... they are still normal human beings just that they earn more money the most
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pixie ng
Well-Known Member
this is not totally about luck... is also finding the correct person that matches ourselves.
this is not the first marriage for both of us. the previous just dun work out, so we end it even though my previous rship lasts 11 yrs, his lasts 8 yrs (i think).
to us, if the rship doesnt work then just end it and move on. no reason to cheat or betray each other. even though the love has died, we must at least respect each other and have some dignity in oneself.
hi pixie,
shearer can have her own opinion. no problem. its not an advise. an opinion reflects on a person's character and her thoughts, that is all.
she can belief in certain things and she has the rights to think it her way. what is not right is she should not impose her thinking on others
and claim that others who don't think like her is ridiculously foolish.
i suggest we need not go further to elaborate what level of maturity she has.
live and let live.
have a good day.
shearer can have her own opinion. no problem. its not an advise. an opinion reflects on a person's character and her thoughts, that is all.
she can belief in certain things and she has the rights to think it her way. what is not right is she should not impose her thinking on others
and claim that others who don't think like her is ridiculously foolish.
i suggest we need not go further to elaborate what level of maturity she has.
live and let live.
have a good day.
daman,
from your post:
"i just saw you in my office Wendy. I told the cleaner to clear it.
Anyways Wendy, I am sick of talking and replying to your questions and handling your little tantrums. I notice you like to simply dump your personal opinion on explanations I took time to craft without any support or justifications. Let's not do this anymore. Just dun associate my name into any comments you may make. Sorry, really getting nowhere with you.
"Hope I will like it, will it matter if i say i don't? It dosent cuz you are posting anyways right? so, dont need to ask this question."
First and foremost, "hope you like it" is not question. it is to suggest that it is not a nice way to address people. i dont like it and i wont do unto others. you seems not too like it too, why are you addressing others in this manner? this is simply rude.
secondly, yes, i did say i appreciate you take effort to craft and write but there is no substance. all those are your common sense if i dont interpret wrongly. those are questions brought forward for you to clarify and not for you to explain. we need you to draw the links. there is no show of any linkage. in other words, they are incoherent. what do you need me to justify when your reply did not answer my question? this reflects how much you can read and write.
lastly, if i come across any of your post that spout rubbish, i will not hesitate to continue to comment on your posts.
have a nice day.
from your post:
"i just saw you in my office Wendy. I told the cleaner to clear it.
Anyways Wendy, I am sick of talking and replying to your questions and handling your little tantrums. I notice you like to simply dump your personal opinion on explanations I took time to craft without any support or justifications. Let's not do this anymore. Just dun associate my name into any comments you may make. Sorry, really getting nowhere with you.
"Hope I will like it, will it matter if i say i don't? It dosent cuz you are posting anyways right? so, dont need to ask this question."
First and foremost, "hope you like it" is not question. it is to suggest that it is not a nice way to address people. i dont like it and i wont do unto others. you seems not too like it too, why are you addressing others in this manner? this is simply rude.
secondly, yes, i did say i appreciate you take effort to craft and write but there is no substance. all those are your common sense if i dont interpret wrongly. those are questions brought forward for you to clarify and not for you to explain. we need you to draw the links. there is no show of any linkage. in other words, they are incoherent. what do you need me to justify when your reply did not answer my question? this reflects how much you can read and write.
lastly, if i come across any of your post that spout rubbish, i will not hesitate to continue to comment on your posts.
have a nice day.
jayjayqueenie
Active Member
hey all
sorry that i am late in my reply. been busy with work and back home my little boss. by vengeful i mean...ever chance upon any guy who turned bitter when they r being served the divorce papers?
like even though they are not faithful, yet they say things like..."today you ask me to sign, tomorrow i make sure u regret."
sorry that i am late in my reply. been busy with work and back home my little boss. by vengeful i mean...ever chance upon any guy who turned bitter when they r being served the divorce papers?
like even though they are not faithful, yet they say things like..."today you ask me to sign, tomorrow i make sure u regret."
hey jayjay,
Just based on my experience, this is quite common. Because, some men may be caught off guard by it and duno how to react, some are really angry at the wife for serving him the papers first, while some seriously mean it.... etc... really depends on the detailed facts of the circumstance, his character. You have more info to share? Just my opinion too, because depending on the partner's (HB) character, his reaction is normally directly co-related to it.
Hope it helps.
Just based on my experience, this is quite common. Because, some men may be caught off guard by it and duno how to react, some are really angry at the wife for serving him the papers first, while some seriously mean it.... etc... really depends on the detailed facts of the circumstance, his character. You have more info to share? Just my opinion too, because depending on the partner's (HB) character, his reaction is normally directly co-related to it.
Hope it helps.
meaculpa077
New Member
It seems like some men just have an innate drive to cheat and others don't. It's sad that you can't always predict these things before marriage. For those women who are being cheated on... I guess you have to learn to be happy with a cheating husband, or without him. I think one of the most important things a woman can do for herself is to maintain her appearance. Women can age gracefully and remain attractive and elegant well into their sixties, e.g. Julie Andrews and Audrey Hepburn, not purely to keep her husband from cheating, but to stay desirable to other men in case she marries the wrong man.
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meaculpa077
New Member
I am surprised that there has been so much hostility towards Daman's opinions. I think a lot of what he has said is very insightful and there is no need to be so defensive.
What constitutes to being a good spouse differs for many people. Some men consider providing for their wife and children, in financial terms, to be their primary duty for the family. Such a man might think he is a good husband and father even though he might be having an affair - so long as he is bringing home the bread. Likewise, some women don't care if their husbands have affairs if they have lots of money to spend on themselves. After all, this was traditionally how marriage was viewed in many cultures. Of course, other women (and other men) would still consider a man who is faithful but doesn't earn enough to be a better husband. The bottom line is, not everyone has the same values and needs as you.
Also, as Daman points out, a wife's actions can contribute to her husband's cheating behaviour, in the sense that it might make it more likely or become the trigger for it. They are simply risk factors and do NOT make it her fault if he cheats.
What constitutes to being a good spouse differs for many people. Some men consider providing for their wife and children, in financial terms, to be their primary duty for the family. Such a man might think he is a good husband and father even though he might be having an affair - so long as he is bringing home the bread. Likewise, some women don't care if their husbands have affairs if they have lots of money to spend on themselves. After all, this was traditionally how marriage was viewed in many cultures. Of course, other women (and other men) would still consider a man who is faithful but doesn't earn enough to be a better husband. The bottom line is, not everyone has the same values and needs as you.
Also, as Daman points out, a wife's actions can contribute to her husband's cheating behaviour, in the sense that it might make it more likely or become the trigger for it. They are simply risk factors and do NOT make it her fault if he cheats.
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New Member
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hi all, i want to put a warning out here that there is a pi who is out to con us.
Out of desperation i used one of the PI contact provided from this forum and realised it was a scam.
His phone number has been terminated since last week, but i have his bank info details and i had made a police report against him. So please ladies ... we are easy prey when we are blinded by emotions and unscrupulous people like them will do anything for money.
it is best to request to meet with the PI in person before proceed with payment. My money is gone and i hope my unfortunately incident with this swindler be a lesson to all of us out here.
Pm me if you wish to know more details. And if you suspect you are one of the victims like me, please report police and let the police investigate him.
Out of desperation i used one of the PI contact provided from this forum and realised it was a scam.
His phone number has been terminated since last week, but i have his bank info details and i had made a police report against him. So please ladies ... we are easy prey when we are blinded by emotions and unscrupulous people like them will do anything for money.
it is best to request to meet with the PI in person before proceed with payment. My money is gone and i hope my unfortunately incident with this swindler be a lesson to all of us out here.
Pm me if you wish to know more details. And if you suspect you are one of the victims like me, please report police and let the police investigate him.
yes that i know. out of desperation and the timing. just so happen this swindler was following closely so when things happened he naturally was the first person i contacted thinking he was recommended in this forum so should be genuine.
His name is ERIC LIM WEE KIAT. he has terminated his mobile number since last week. I have given his bank details to the police.
He was good and shown some skills in background checking so i went with him. He is a skilled con-man. Not sure if this is another con tactic, there is another person name called Michael he said he is Eric's upline. He was the last person in contact with me then MIA when i refused to pay more money.
Please be aware!!
sharon_ang
Member
JoAries40, why not share this in the PI thread.
Who recommend you the PI.
Also what company they are from?
Who recommend you the PI.
Also what company they are from?
it was nicolelimwy who recommended him. i dont know which company he's from because it was a hasty decision to hire him immediately after i found out the husband's affair. he was following up closely with me and my situation so when things happened i was in a rush wanting to get evidence first without checking the PI out.
i can only blame myself for making hasty decision. The purpose of my post is to warn others who's judgement was impaired by emotions. This is all the information i can give.
Which PI thread are you referring to?
Didnt meet up, payment was done online which is a blessing in disguise at least a record of payment and bank details are exchanged.
sharon_ang
Member
this is the PI thread http://singaporemotherhood.com/forum/threads/any-private-investigator-to-recommended.2968/
anyway since nicolelimwy, is the one who recommend u, maybe can ask her which company he from?