Advice on Divorce

After reading through you ladies, I think i am facing the same problem. Husband self employed and yet not contributing sufficient for the family. I have to pay through my nose with all my salary and he is always not having to do any.
He is an self employed too. He spent too much time on his friends and so called works affair and leaving us with pathetic "free" time and unwilling to take care of us.

I am considering whether to leave him as I feel that he is so selfish, he still feel that he is single!

We woman sacrifice so much for the family, having to work for money, coach the kids, spending all effort to do the best for our kids and yet we ended up being hubby taking things for granted and refused to care for us.
 


Hi, can someone help me please!! I currently emotionally torn between to file for divorce or not, suffering heart pains and sleepless night since last week. My husband of 14 years betrayed me, abuse my trust for him and hvg an extra marital affair (he even forged a cert of annulment to denied the existence of kids and me... he obtained it from google search sample) and denied all the way till the very last min only to admit upon confrontation with a strong evidence (thru words of mouth from very close relative). Before that he even accuse me of not trusting him which causes him lot of stress... Courtship 5years and marriage for 14years, I am a full-time housewife, a mother of 3 kids age 2-11. Everydays from dawn to dust, fr diaper changing to changelleing schoolworks( No tuition since day 1 of school and now despite No good rate in study- coz their father's claim that he cannot afford), cooking, washing laundry, sending kids to and fro school by bus/walk( my husband, a VP in banking industry, who have a car but he dun do it), tendering to sick , doing everthings A-Z 24/7 365/year single handed w/o any help from day 1 of my motherhood. While I working hard for my family, my husband is working, partying, clubbing, socializing, sports and now hvg affair..........actually, a few years back, I sensed something not right but he assured him that, I am the one and only one he love and will be the wife till the last day of his life. I stay committed to my marriage as I love him wholeheartedly from day one and only for the sake of my children's (I want them to grow up from a complete family with both father and mother, now especially my youngest is only 2 yrs old)..... But this round, he keep mum and did not even apologize for his wrongdoing after admit to the affair only to claim that he is yearn for love and lack from home ground.... Where is he usually not home to enjoy them. Me and the kids, we are also yearning for love to no avail..... Leave the house as early as 7am and back at 2-3am daily........he even ask me to let him stay away from home for a indefinite period of time to so call do his own self reflection and think. He is a VP in names but at hPosted on Friday, March 09, 2007 - 1:39 pm:       
When asked, I just say I'm a single mom with three kids. They ask more, then I share that he's getting married to his girlfrient. People tend to understand and don't ask too much.

There WILL be people who speak negatively of you. Just ignore them. We have more important things to worry about.

I divorced my ex due to irresponsible behaviour. There was adultery but I did not have sufficient evidence nor could I afford a PI. I used PPO, bank letters of demands, police reports of abuse and thefts/sales of our family items as documents.

BUT he wanted the divorce. He didn't want to wait the 3 year separation. So he pushed me to file. And I eventually did cos you need two people to make a marriage work.

You can try what I did and ask for sole custody. Unless he objects, you'll get it without question.

My ex pays for some childcare fees (direct to the school) and my parents for care of the kids. He does't want to give me $ direct. It's $700 in all for all three children aged 5 to upper primary. Pathetic right?ome, lot and lot of bills unsettled, pink reminder letters, lawyer letters, fines keep rolling in.... And I am a ZERO income housewife with NO saving..., NO allowance($50/week for 3 kids& myself) ... What can I do now? Filing for divorce, with his current financial status, am I able to obtain any child support and spousal support??? Even the current house (in 2 names- through I did not contribute $) is still $4-500k outstanding..... Am hurt by what my dearest husband did to me, to the kids, am scare for the future, am worry for my kids...... total devastated, am loss...any good advices please!!!!!
 
Sorry for my previous post, i must hv hit the wrong button and it got mixed up with someone's posting. ..... What I mean is I really need advices from anyone of u out there, my VP husband betrayed me and now asked me to let him stay away from home to do his own self reflection... How to trust him again, what if out of sight out of mind and out he go, not using this period to do the appropriate things as he claimed self 'reflection' but leaving behind us tons of unsettle bills (o/s reminders include maintainence of this hse, phone bills, water &electricity bills, his credit cards bills(I do not own any) and also lawyer letters.....even my little boy, we hv not put him to any childcare/playgroup becoz my husband said he cannot afford... too expensive.... While not a problem for him to spend a few hundreds for a pair of musical tickets to woo girl.., goldsmith receipts etc.. Am puzzled,so generous in spending big $ on others but not us and if he is so rich, then why we keep receiving reminders..... Thus, if I will to file for divorce, will I be able to obtain any child and spousal support base on his current financial status...and if I want to look for a job now I need to settle all my children's issue, childcare for the little one, after school care for the other 2 primary school kids....where do I get the $ from? Where can I start?...... Help! I am loss, am devastated....
 
u have to start somewhere.

no use keep on waiting for him to change like this. He will never regret as he is enjoying his life, whereas the family is suffering.
 
How? Pls advice, am really feeling hopeless and useless... I hv 3 sisters but all r married and down with their own family issue and also all r staying far away from me in the west part of Singapore. My own mother 78yrs old, staying nearby is too old to help to look after my kids(especially the 2 yrs old) , even if she agree of us moving back(moreover she dislike the idea of me moving back, becoz she belong to those very old generation thinking that once u divorce is a v shameful matter) and as for me having been housewife for the past 12years with zero income and no savings, I can't afford to put them in childcare centre(2yrs old) and after school care for the others 2. I know i definitely need to look for a job asap, but again it can only be a part time job and is must be somewhere nearby house and good timing also count so as to allow me to pick up my the other 2 from school in the afternoon and cope with their changelleing schoolworks as I cannot afford tuition (all these years I hv to act as 'tutor' to cope with their studies as my unfaithful husband claimed that he cannot afford). Tons and tons of worries in my head is give me sleepless nights...even if I choose to l salvage my marriage and put all unhappiness behind me for the sake of my kids . My unfaithful husband, the one who did serious mistake is keep mum and stay put his usual routine (leaving home as early as 7am and back at 2am daily) showing no sign of remorseful( he even refuse to talk to me- nit a single word) and lots of ongoing o/s bills for me to feel insecure... both either divorce or not. Just wonder if I file for divorce, am i be able to get sufficient amount for child and spouse support since he admit to commit adultery (in bible. But I do not hv B&W evidence) . Life is too painful....... pls advice, what to do next, which decision is the best for my kids... do not wish to affect their studies too much ...they r not on v good rate and dun wish to worsen them... Or shd I hold back and stay put with the unfaithful husband for the time being till they are much bigger --- say secondary school????? All advices appreciated....
 
Soontobemumof3....

I read your posts and my heart goes out to you...
I cannot comment much on your situation becoz i believe everyone is unique in their own way and you as a mother of 3, are strong enuf to know wat is right and wat you need to do...

However wat i can help you with is I noticed you mentioned you are looking for some part time to do near your place or better yet work from home...

I believe i have wat you are looking for...
You also mentioned you had not been in the work force for 14 yrs now... So i reckon coming back now will be quite difficult for you but do not worry, wat i am offering you is really very simple to do...

Do contact me at my email or pm me...
 
Hi Wellness, many tks for your understanding. Especially to my fear of joining back the workforce after a long 14 years break. Things changes daily, esp advance technology.... But i was so involved in my family and kids w/o any self improve since then. In fact, I kind of computer handicap by now... Typing such a short msg took me quite some time too...sorry! Yes, i am keen and in fact in urgent need of looking for job ( if possible i prefer to work from home..) as I still need to take care of my 2 yrs old boy whom I cannot afford to put him to childcare now with zero income and also able to guide the 2 bigger kids with their schoolwork when they back from school in the afternoon. Please if you could kindly let me know roughly wat type of job you are offering....wat I need to do? ..... and btw I am staying in Sengkang area. Many tks.
 
Hi all the kind soul out there, can anyone advice me wat to do next.... Hv anyone encounter the same problem like me before...... Ever since the day I confronted my unfaithful husband (abt 2 wks ago), he admitted to his stupidness of forgeing the cert of annulment and affair but NO further apology from him... When I ask him wat is his plan to our 'future', he say he dun no and kept mum... Ever since that day he left home around 7am and back everyday at 3/4/5am leaving issue unsolved. Nowadays, I encounter sleepless nights and severe head and heartache, but still need to pull myself together to look after my 3 kids especially their studies........ My highly paid husband mishandles his finances (a lots of o/s bills at home), messes up the marriage and family relationship, spending time and money in the 'wrong way towards the wrong person' and now dun hv the courage to solve the entire situation.....how can I get him to sit down and talk abt this issue abt any plan for kids and future?? Also wonder with his current finance situation (o/s), any chance for me to obtain child and spousal support shd I go ahead and file for a divorce? Also can he play cheat by not paying a cent even if he need to pay the child support by court order? Becoz I did mentioned to him my phobia and his reply was y worry so much? If I dun pay u call police and catch me and put me to jail lah? Sigh!!!!!!!!!! I am worry for my kids, how can I support 3 of them with zero income, especially jobs are hard to get and I am out of the workforce for nearly 14 years....btw I am in my early forty, with my age is making things more difficult.....to look for job...........
 
hi soontobemumof3...

thank you for replying...
to be frank i somehow understand you... do not worry, ever since my case i thought the same way like you but then again there are someone far more worse than you... its juz that you had not met them yet...
but i have...

erm... i am not implying you are old, but with your age i reckon you will know wat to do, i am some wat in the same situation as you... slight financial difficulties with 2 really young ones to take care but i already have my plans abt the future so i am working now towards it...

so you are in SK ?? excellent becoz i am in hougang. now... becoz you are not very convenient to travel, i would like to offer to meet you near your place to explain to you wat you need to do...
when will be a good day for you ??
 
Hi wellness, really feel so good to hv someone understand me. Especially after hvg kids and a long break from work force, I kind of lost contact with all friends....I am the one to be blamed coz I dun hv my free time to join them even when they call for gathering in the initial stage and after a few rejection, nobody bother to call again....they know my answer (actually is against my wish but no choice, I was not given any free time of my own, everywhere I go my kids tag along, when ask my 'soon to be ex' husband(whom dun really love kids) he alway say he is busy, hv work to do, cannot handle them..... blah!blah!blah!!! As my 2 primary school kids hvg different timetable down with different CCA, extra lesson, I can think of is every Tuesday (a little bit of time to spare) as both of them coming back a little bit later than the usual 1pm, one at 3pm while the other at 4.30pm. Prior to that, everywhere I go, u see 2 pairs/4 shadows...........me & my 3 kids. Is your timing flexible? Am ok to meet either at CompassPoint or HougangMall ....frankly these are the two places I frequent visit, especially the library.... Tks
 
Hi soontobemumof 3

I think e most impt thing now is try b independent. In order to b independent, u will nd $$$. This world is realistic.

Ways to generate more $$$

1. Rental out of ur rooms. If u have 3 br. U can rent out 2. Each can get $700. Which mean u will have $1400 per mth. N dun forget deposit of anoth $1400.

2. For e time being, try to find hse tat nd part time cleaner. Its abt $12 per hr. N u can do it according to ur timing.

Try to save as much $$$ as possible so tat u can send ur younger 1 to cc. As for e oth older kids, possible to arrange sch bus n let them stay at ur mum pl till u finish work. Ur kids nd to learn to b independent n grow up. No more spoon feed to teach them sch word. I know all tis is cruel for u n ur kids but we nd to move on while thr r still action to b taken.

Let me share, since pri 3 i had been key kid. Which mean aft sch i go hm fr sch on my own. Tat time my sch in bt merah n i stay in outram. I was given certain amt of allowance for e whole day. I learn to plan my allowance n bcame more independent. As my parents work in hawker n reach hm only 11plus at nite. I also learn e impt of $$$ but of cos $$$ is not everything but wo it. We will nd to suffer.

If u nd listening ear u may pm me for ctt. I really hope u willl continue to stay strong for urself.
 
Tks Wk78, I total agreed that this is a $$$$realistic world. Yes, we hv 3 br, but the idea of rent out is impossible...... My 2 bigger kids are sharing one room and is also act as their study room with lots of stuff, me, my youngest (we sleep on the floor mattress) and unfaithful husband are still in the same room (he still come back to this 'home' except is wee hour) and the last room is not available also. It had been so called his study room cum store room which he hardly got time to enter but u won't believe it - is really worst than a rubbish collecting centre---- piles and piles of he used notes laying on floor and table, cables, old and new printers used and current PC monitors, a numbers of CPUs which he collected from his friends/colleagues (why ??? no idea) VCDs, CDs all over the place ......he even placed his name sign on the door and we are told to stay out of bound if possible............ I really need pair of listening ear for years ....... but no one to share.... am also understand that everybodies hv their own problem...., mine maybe not the worst but is a big blown to me so sudden and unprepare ... and now i am totally loss
L
 
Hi wellness, hope to hear fr u ASAP. I am really eager to hear fr u wat u hv to offer for me a miserable and helpless single mum to be ....... I am urgently in need of job( especially home base if possible) tks.
 
U may like to keep the forged documents, bills as evidences in the future.
The 1st thing tt u might like to do is to pack his rubbish out of the hse n rent out the spare room. use the $ to enlist your youngest child in cc n ur mum to help with the pri sch boys.
how much can a part time job earn? $5 per hr? Extra 200-300 per mth?
u need a full time job, concentrate to find a good one with ur education level.
 
Yes i agree that finding a full time job is the upmost importance now, however i can only advise based on your situation and sorry to say, i am not stepping you though, you dun really have much options to choose from...

Soontobemumof3, i have replied your mail...
Do let me know how i can help...
 
Hi all,

I finally got my marriage dissolved. Now is to buy the flat over from him. Anyone has any experience how I can do so?
 
Hi Wellness, tks for your reply. Frankly speaking I was kind of overjoyed when I first saw ur post pertaining to mine stated that u do understand me looking for home base job and u hv wat I looking for ....on my part w/o much tot of wat can I do, I juz forward u the mail. I am sorry. After much carefully and seriously thinking, I dun think there is any suitable home base job which can i do also (perhaps - babysitting!!! which I can consider 'an expert' now after 12 yrs of taking care of my 3 kids single handedly ) --Btw, before i quit my job, I was working as a frontline customer service in banking sector for more than 10 yrs......so sad to say I am really really good for nothing, only hv c/s experiences and no more..... And with age catching up and advance technology... definitely impossible for me to go back to the same industry sector.(as they needs young and pretty girls) -and not a auntie like me, think I can only join the fast food chain or supermarket as a cashier/cleaner...???? tks anyway...I just called the AWARE hotline earlier on but advise to call up the legal clinic for more help and information... Becoz again they required me to go down for counseling alone with I can't move freely with my 3 unattended kids......!!! (that 's y the unfaithful husband of mine able to do all the nonsense behind me..) I will try to stay strong knowing that so many kind soul out there care for me and my 3 kids....if possible pray for my kids .... to stay healthy and happy as b4 ....include them in yr daily prayer.... Tks......
 
Hi soontobemumof3,

I understand how you feel and what you are thinking...
I am not saying this to "sweettalk" you into the job, neither am i saying it to give you high hopes...

My kind of work is the only thing you can do now... I am not implying i am playing GOD... You are only saying this becoz your life seems to be a living hell now everything comes together at once and you are lost in your direction...
Its normal... When mine started everything seems pointless for me to go on... But now i had the time to start my own business and its 2 business in fact i am handling now.
You never know your potential until you give it a shot...

When you are ready to change your life, when you are ready to get better and be better...
Do let me know, i am always available to help change people's lives...
 
Hi wellness, sorry or pardon me for my bad standard of English. Pls do not misunderstand me, I do not at any point over time thinking that u are just 'sweet talk' or implying ad 'GOD' to help. I am so very sorry if I give I that impression. Being clueless, headless, hopeless at this point of time, wat I think of is No $ , need to get a job - than again own restriction, cannot go out to work, so home base job is perfect. Nevertheless, I did not go into deep thinking of what type of home base job I can do.... when even computer acknowledge seem outdated to me after a long long break from workforce.... And by the time u highlighted to me, I just realized , yes- what can I do at home?.... and sad to find none......I want to hv change to my life, but it seem i just can't right now that's y I say includes us in the daily prayer if possible..... now i can only count on miracle..... Once again, thank you and also sorry.....
 
Hi soontobemumof3,

Sorry i dun think its your english or your fault...
I think its be coz i dun understand wat you mean... Haha.....

Hmm.... Wat exactly are you saying ?? Can give a hint ??
I am not saying there is nothing you can do or you are useless or anything like dat... You shld try to unleash your potential now you are alone and if you think you can then you definately can and i will help you...

Maybe you can tell me wat you mean 1st.... Haha....
 
Hi soontobemumof3,

in fact u can do more. u just needs to step out of your comfort zone and adjust your life, then u will be able to start.
 
Hi,

I think wat i am about to say sorts of sum it all...
Soontobemumof3, i think wat everyone says here are true. Everyone of us here can post and repost alot of things but bottomline is YOU...
You wrote in here hoping to seek help, but then again wat sort of help are you looking for or expecting in here ??

Everyone can post something nice like "dun worry dear, everything will be fine..." and "be strong, you can do it..." is that the kind of "help" you want ?? Merely words ??
Or do you really want help, REAL help...

End of the day those words cant help to feed you and your kids... People will suggest "you can do this, you can try doing that..." but if you dun really go do it or EVEN TRY... Your problem will always be there and it will never change any better...

If You Want Your LIFE To Change, You Have To Change....
If You Want Your LIFE To Be Better, You Have To Get Better....
 
Hey Karen, perhaps u might not know this fact.

But in real life, PI is very expensive and usually its used to file divorce under adultery. Or those really rich folks who wants a hardcore fight in court over asset. Even so, the successful rate of finding solid evidence of adultery is very difficult as well.

Further more, u need to use its evidence to divorce (usually adultery) within few months else its invalid.

Much simpler way is just file divorce under "Unreasonable Behaviour". No evidence is needed, as long as your hubby do not contest, then divorce proceeding will begin.

Most lawyer would have their own PI contact they usually work with. If you already decided to divorce, then better find a lawyer and let them give you their PI Contact.
 
mt hopeful, i think u got it wrong. Pi are not very expensive and it have become very common for spouse to get PI to gather evidence to file for divorce. I know this is because me and a few of my friend used the same PI to help us get the evidence. Its truth, it's not always able to get adultery, but the PI manage to get unreasonable behaviour of them intimate..

"Unreasonable Behaviour", without evidence will likely made it become a contested divorce and it will cost a lot of money.

just for your info, the evidence given by the PI is valid for 6months.

also don't ever ask your lawyer for PI contatct as they will charged 'commission' from u.

i am not against u but this is the fact i know.
 
Hi Karen,
Yeah, maybe time had changed. During my time, per session/day for PI is $2000. If PI takes 3days, then u know how much. If nothing is found, then I really broke. So that to me was alot of $$$.

For my case, my ex spouse file "Unreasonable Behaviour - Always play computer game and neglected family". That was bullshit, bcoz I played abt 2hrs after kid sleep only. That time, she pregant with another guy already, so I can actually counter file her "Adultery".

Anyway, If I choose to contest against "Unreasonable Behaviour", I need to pay extra legal fee about $2500 each time. At least maybe 3-4x times before it would be dissolved. After that, another 3-4x again to counter file divorce under "Adultery".

Finally, I decided (with lawyer advise) is not contest to "Unreasonable Behaviour" and get straight to divorce proceeding. Bcoz this saves all the extra legal fee.

Since I did not contest, she does not need to provide any evidence that I had played too much computer game which led to marriage breakdown.

Thus, the "Reason to Divorce" and "Proceeding (Asset/Custody/etc)" are treated separately. During mediation, my lawyer also pointed this out to judge and he took note of it when dealing with my case.
 
for me i got all the evidence within my budget as i got a good and honest PI. it cost me only $2800 to get the evidence.

didn't your lawyer told u if u successful contested the allegation, if u win, she have to paid for the court fees?

that means u divorce without a fight and in term also loss the custody cos u didn't challenged the allegation that u play computer games.
 
Both side lawyer said its hard n rare to convince judge for one side to bear full cost. So we always state bear own cost n both side lawyer agreed as well. Anyway, she won't file adultery on herself. Moreover, I not so mean. I won't want her to pay so much legal fee as well. Bcoz her family broke off with her n I even saw her asking for donation on website for legal fee.

The judge is aware what really happened. So he more in favour of me. I got to keep our matrimonial flat, paid her CPF+ interest + 30% projected profit if sold in open market. Got joint custody as well n no need to pay alimony or division of any matrimonial asset. This is bcoz judge treat it as adultery even the reason may state otherwise.
 
Mr Hope'ful, how you managed to pay her only 30% projected profit? How many % of your house is paid by you?

I'm currently offering my wife 50% projected profit. But she couter with additional of COV.
 
Monthly housing loan payment = 80% me 20% her. I also do partial payment to housing loan. All renovations, furniture, insurance n bills are paid by me n I kept all the receipts n statement. Housework, grocery, cooking all done by me. For 1.5yrs she didn't stay at matrimonial house bcoz contesting PPO in court.

Initially she insist 50% based on indirect contribution. Of course i disagreed based on above reason n contest against it bcoz overall she contributed only 20% n I can proof it. Then her pregnancy helps, bcoz judge ask her how long she still wants to drag? Evenually we agreed at midway 30% (abt $30k) settled all thru bank loan. Repay all the amount she contributed in CPF + interest + extra $30k.
 
Up to individual, but I decided cash so at least can help ease their financial bundern. End of day, she still my child's mummy n I had already forgiven her. Just want to wish her all the best in her new life journey.
 
Myself, I get to choose.

Since its extra amount and thru bank loan, so it doesn't really matter whether it goes to CPF, Special CPF Account, Cash.

The judge and lawyer did talked to me and persuaded me to consider their condition. End day, she still my child's mummy.

Happy mummy = Happy environment = Happy Childhood.

So truth lah.
 
What about the interest that you would have incurred since you took a housing loan?

How do the judge and lawyer talk to you? with her around? both lawyers ard as well? Is yours considered contested?
 
The amount of CPF n interest to pay back are based on standard ruling from CPF/HDB. It's calculated by the system n all handled by bank loan n lawyer (court order) so i cannot remember technical detail already. I only need to decide how I want to pay the extra $30k, n this was discuss during the mediation with lawyer, judge n child mummy
 
Thanks mr hopeful!
You've been great help to let me see picture clearer =)

How many rounds of mediation with the judge must we go through?
 
Hi all, need some advice. Do you all get a lawyer to negotiate for your rights such as alimony, custody etc? Anyone of you negotiated with e lawyer on your own?

For alimony, how do you all decide on the sum?
 
Frequency of mediation depends on how soon both party can reach agreement on alimony, child maintenance, child access/custody n division of matrimonial asset.

Amount of alimony depends on length of marriage n quality of life b4 marriage breakdown.

If all the above is usually discuss with own lawyer n later between both side lawyer to reach compromise agreement. If this cannot be reached, then its brought to judge who probably may send parent to parenting lessons, counseling or parent/custody assessment. If these still cannot be settled within reasonable time/effort then last resort is hearing/trial for court to decide.
 
Hi, I had enough of my hubby's treatment towards me, 2nd son n my mum. He nvr treat him as mil at all. He Scolded ger.bith infront n behind her. Nvr care abt 2nd son n me at all. Btw anyone hav gd lawyer at affordable price to recommend? I wan to fight for custody, care n ctrl of my 1st son. I'm v sure he don wan 2nd son but our 1st son v much. Pls pm me the lawyer.contact. Need it urgently.
 
Hi i have a problem finding my ex for his payment on child naintainence. When i go to court they say they couldnt find him and has changed all his numbers and address. What should i do? And recently one of his fren told me he has migrate to china, if thats the case then i am unable to contact him. Does that mean i am unable to take the child maintainence anymore?? Waiting for all kind advises. Thanks
 
Hi Aixin,

Sorry to hear this...
In my opinion, i do not really know your situation but it seems in this case he might be gone for good...

Since he is gone, you might wanna tell the court that there is no longer any ties with him and the child is fully in your custody and care control. Worse case scenario shld he come back one day to "claim" his child, you have all the rights to refuse him.
 
Hi.. can PM me your lawyer contact? coz i spoke to one and he told me no matter separate for how long, so long as the other don't agree to divorce, cannot divorce. so no point filing for separation.

Thanks.

Yy,
Actually, most of the time, the judge will propose joint custody because 'custody' is different from 'daily care of kids'. "Custody" simply means 'decision-making power', eg. if the husband has full custody (not joint custody with wife), and the child needs an urgent blood transfusion, but the husband says no, the wife has no right to veto that decision.

So usually the judge will advocate joint custody so that both parents can still make major decisions for the kid. However, 'daily care' for the kid is a different matter. This is actually the one that most people are concerned with - who does the kid live with on a daily basis?

I'm not too sure about the flat, but it should be according to how much the wife has contributed.

lpy,
Like you, I held back the divorce for 3.5 years because of the flat. Does that help improve the situation? No. Because I found myself having unwanted pregnancy, and he became worse, seeing that I did not want to divorce over the flat. He starts to steal my kids' money and pawn my dowry. He teaches my kid all the wrong values and these values are here to stay.

You don't need a separation cert to file based on separation. If he doesn't agree after a three-year separation, then separate for one more year to make it a four-year separation and he'll have to divorce even if he doesn't agree.
 
Ladies ... i found a good lawyer n please ..he is pro women n i tested him n he's the only one who pass the test. Feel free to PM me n i will also share with u how several mummies got screw badly by other lawyers till no roof over their head..no alimony n no child maintenance ..dun believe, its up to u cos i self represented n fought my own divorce n can tell u how its done
 
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It depends..although admissible ..meaning even if u hv pic..he can aruge n counter so depends how strong yr evidence n judge's approval ...i help one mummy she record the violence on her cell n raised up in court ...sonit depends but one thing sure...it damaged his credibility
 
Lovebaby82

If ur ex had gone overseas to work or stay..there 's no way for the court to serve him. However if u had applied for Enforcement... the minute he cm.back at immigration checkpoint, he will be apprehended n stay inside till court hearing on your case unless someone post bail.
 


I have been toleratng my husband for 11 years and have. 6 year old kid. Recently I found from his handphone message that he is having close relationship with her. He admitted to have sexual relationship but there is no picture. I only take photos of his handphone with messages that he call the girl dear dear and there are some message that say he plan to cheat me and meet her out. Some short code dunno does it mean sex...

He wants to divorce so I let him initiate the divorce.

Question:
1) if he initiate the divorce, can I file adultery? Or I must initiate the divorce to file adultery?

2) handphone messages between me and my husband can kinda hint that he is having a relationship with that woman. Is it sufficient to file for adultery? Also there is picture of messages he sent to the woman calling the woman dear dear and with intention to cheat.

3) I earn more than my Husband, $4900 vs $3500, kid will follow me. how much maintenance fee can I get? Can I get half?

4) if I state my terms and he agrees then does it means it can be settle more easily? So Long as he agrees to my terms, I can get what I want?

5) can he transfer his share in hdb to my kid free of charge without me refund to cpf for his share? My kid is only 6 yrs old.

6) if I die, I left my money to my kid, understand that under Singapore law, the surviving partner will be the juvenile's guardian and control the money I left behind. In the case of divorce, can I name the guardian to be another person so that my money doesn't end up in my Husband's hand.

Thanks
 

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