im lost.

[lost999]

Hi, im married with 2 kids, both at the age of 12 and 8 years old. and I have married this guys for 10 years.
Cause the kids, divorce and separation have been stopping us.
But lately this 2 years, I tired of the relationships. I have no more feeling towards my husband.
All I stay in for this families is for my 2 kids. we always quarrels and get back together again just for the sake for the kids.

And all along the 10 yrs. im the one who is supporting the kids, taking care of them, paying all the expenses on them. as and when, when my husband got money then I will ask from him. he does not have a stable jobs. knowing that he been trying hard wanting to earn a lot of money. but no doubt how hard he hard, there is no hope on him. But lucky, he did not ask any money from me.

I can say that, im the one who is supporting the family. working full time mother, full time work, and went home full time housework to do. my husband can just sit down and see me clear all the housework? wondering is there still such guys now?

we have always quarrels for little small issue. eg. if we agree to go out, somethings happen that cant go, he will be super angry. and if he choose what he wanna to eat and me and kids don't agree, his face will turn black immediately and show sort of tempers. when I cook at home, expect him to help washing the dishes once he have finish the foods. he will wait till midnite then wash up. when I told him, I wanna to use his car and drive out. his excuses will be later you will might have accident. I told him I need to upgrade myself, his reason for me is I cant take stress, and should stay home and take care of kids.

if I need to go out with friends, sometimes if he being gds he will help to take care of kids. if not he will push the responsible to his parents or my parents. and I have nvr control my hus from going out. im the one who send and fetch the kids myself. and sometimes if I ask him to help sending, he will find excuses that he need to work and is busy not free to do.

what should I do? im super lost. should I leave this guy? or continue on this sickening life.
and im a super super soft hearted person. if im gonna to tel him that this is coming to the end. I will see his sad face, and unbearable to see that. should I continue to act stupid and continue my life? or just told him this is an ending.

 

[Skiasia]

Since u r the one supporting the family,何必活受罪?tell him bye bye n put this to the end .women will live better without men.i m sure without this men in the picture,u will be happier .Although life may be tougher cause u still hv 2 kids to take care,but once they grown up,everything is worth it.take care.一种米养百种人。Not everyone is perfect.likewise,if he cares for the family and hv a good stable income,then maybe u can close 1 eye n stay in this marriage.But looking at the above situation which u hv mentioned,i think can tell him go fly kite.! There are more worst guys outside.是 compare 不完的。

 

[Chubbybaby2]

Why not you just tell him what you are unhappy about face to face nicely? Just like how you are ranting in this post. Tell him about all your likes and dislikes

 

[lost999]

Thanks for feedback. agree with skiasia. there are more worst guys out there. but there are also very goods guys out there.

@ Chubbybaby2: i did told him about the likes and dislikes things. he is that kind of guy. i do want not want it meant i do not want it. now eventually is i got no feeling towards him. if he is the one who do not love me anymore. he will come out with all sort of things that we are not suitable together. before i married this guy, we have once break off. his excuses is, we got communication break down, not suitable to be together. and also not long after we break off, i was found pregnant and there we go and try hard to be together for 10 yrs. but before married and after married things never change, we always quarrels for small little things. recently when i decided to let go and let it in. he take me for granted. every time after patch back, he will be nice for nice months. but a leopard will never change it spots. after that it will come back to be the same. when we only have small communication, he will feel that im nagging.
he will even angry with kids, when kids don't agree with him. and he will be the kind that just walk out the house, do not care about the family, and come back until he is happy.


Im been asking myself, is this the guy that i will grow old him? and endure all his temper?

 

[Chubbybaby2]

Hmmm... If that's the case, are you planning to tell him your plans and that you no longer have feelings for him anymore?

 

[gladjo]

Lost999 ....

geez you truly really lost ... just kidding. I filly agree with chubbybabyz.

Both of you ..seat down n talk or ..go counselling ...2 person together for toooo long, each will take the other for granted..its a human manufacturing flaw ...but during my parents time,its unspeakable n they just bite bullet till either party drop dead.

This circle will continue to your mext spouse should u decide to walk out ... unless u follow ang mo stlye..stay as gf only even when hv kids ...my french manager isnt married n hv 3kids with gf ..so its up to you how you drive your life...do you want your kids follow yr style of living ..or show them that when going gets tough,hang on regardless