Sorry for the long post but I do hope to hear some comments about what I should do.
I recently got an ex-Malaysia Indonesian maid as a fresh maid. We set off with the aim to get someone who can speak and understand English since I do not know malay. We selected an ex-Malaysia with 5 years experience and had supposedly interview her through her Indonesia mobile phone as she had left the Indonesia training centre on the day of interview.
Shortly after leaving the agency on the day of picking her up, she asked if I had an ex-helper and why the previous helper left. Back home, when I asked her to mop the living room floor after unpacking her bag, she did it faster than I could even start washing a rag.
I took it in good strive that she does not understand my expectation. I explained my expectation with some hand signs and did the job myself. I was kinda of cool about it as I felt that my mum who is good in housework and able to communicate in Bahasa Melayu will be the best person to help me coach her to my expectations.
On her third day, my mum was around and she had a shocked about the new helper's work quality. The helper completed the tasks in record time. Having known the feeling of clean floor, I could tell by feel that a sloppy job was done. I spoke to her about it and her immediate reaction was my mum complained about her.
On the fourth day, she did the housework in a new record time. Instead of being fast and sloppy like the first day, it had became slow and sloppy. My mum who was shocked at the work quality of a helper who has 5 years of work experience questioned why her ironing was badly done. She rebutted that ironing in Malaysia is done differently. -_-" During this period, she was also often asking about the job responsibilities of my previous helper. My mum had to chase her off the bed as she was sitting on our bed to do housework and had caught her taking photo albums from the cupboard to look at without asking for permission first.
We had wanted to send her back as we could all sense that she was not receptive to feedback. The last draw was when she mumbled in Bahasa Indonesia about my dad scolding her for letting the tap run to the maximum flow and not closing after use. Of course, the agency disagreed with our intention and countered that any person working at a new place also has 3 months of probation. On the other hand, we were also soft-hearted as we do understand how much each helper has to pay to get a job in Singapore.
My mum and myself had spoken to her after contacting the agency. She expressed that she likes to work for me and like my younger boy as he is funny. My mum had also told her that there is no need to ask if the ex-helper was speedy in her work, what is more important is the quality. She had since shown improvement to the work though I still spot areas where corners are attempted to be cut, e.g., she can clean one lamp but not another.
It has been 2 weeks since she has been with us. During this period, my younger son had fallen sick and had very bad appetite. Even when he is well, he can stubbornly refuse food or run away at meal time. It takes some patience to handle him at times. As he has speech delay, his ways of rejection can be very rude or stubborn. My parents had overheard a couple of occasions where she raised her voice at him when feeding him (could be in English or Malay). She will stop if my mum intervenes openly by talking to the boy. Just last evening, my dad had to sit next to them before she toned down and spoke nicely to coax the boy to eat. Unfortunately, I am always not around when such incidents happens.
There has also been occasions that she has attempted not to even try to feed the boy on the pretext that he does not want to drink milk. I have reminded that even if the food is wasted, there must be attempts to try feeding him especially since he has lost quite a bit of weight lately. For food that he had shown dislike, she should cut them to smaller pieces and offer them with food he like.
I do not deny that it takes a bit of patience to handle my younger son (my previous helper had done a terrific job in the area) but I am starting to rethink if I am risking my younger son to danger. If she can raise her voice on the child and changed her approach only when other adults are around to watch them, will she do more than just scolding if I have to leave the younger boy alone with her at home in future? I have asked if she can cope, she will say it is ok, he is still young, when he grows up, he will behave like the elder boy (contradictory to my younger boy, my elder boy is quite a chatty and curious boy who speaks well in most people's opinions).
When I am telling my boy that he has been naughty, she will also be joining in to "scold him too". For this I am not too sure how I can stop her or show my displeasure about her doing this. This practice of her just adds on to my fear that she may do more than scolding to him and the chances of me knowing will be lower since my boy does not communicate well.
Right now, I think my 2 biggest concerns are language barrier and the safety and care of my younger son. Personally while the agency believes in counselling, we think that it is a difficult to change a person's attitude and have the fear of having revengeful helper.
Separately, I feel that she may just be grabbing a job opportunity that comes along the way since she has to fund her 2 younger brothers through school (16 and 15 if I recall correctly). Thinking back, I feel that she has been dishonest with her replies during the interview.
I interviewed her in English and had my mum to counter check the facts in bahasa melayu. To find out if the helper will be bothered by long distance relationship issue, I had asked her if she had a boyfriend and if she had intention to get marry. Her answers were no that sounded shy to me and she mentioned no to my mum too. End up she came with an engagement ring on her fingers; I had to make a few attempts before I managed to get it off her finger along with another ring that she claimed was a couple ring from her ex during school time.
Due to a bad experience with helper owning phone, we requested her during the interview not to own a phone but to call home through the use of calling cards which are cheaper. She agreed but she came to Singapore with a phone that she claimed was purchased by her ex-employer and was mentioning to me how she had learnt that Singtel SIM are the most suitable SIM and she will like to buy one after her loan. As I have intended to set a harsh requirement with the intention to loosen the condition a little, I was not very sticky about the mobile phone except setting the condition that at no times will I see her skiving to use the phone or take long toilet break to use the phone.
If you are in my shoes, what will you do? I can't help but to think that my previous helper was much better. Right now, I am asking myself if I should even spend the money to get the new helper annual pass to Sentosa, USS and Gardens by the Bay. With my previous helper, I made no hesitation and got her the pass on her first visit which took place like within a week she was with me.
I recently got an ex-Malaysia Indonesian maid as a fresh maid. We set off with the aim to get someone who can speak and understand English since I do not know malay. We selected an ex-Malaysia with 5 years experience and had supposedly interview her through her Indonesia mobile phone as she had left the Indonesia training centre on the day of interview.
Shortly after leaving the agency on the day of picking her up, she asked if I had an ex-helper and why the previous helper left. Back home, when I asked her to mop the living room floor after unpacking her bag, she did it faster than I could even start washing a rag.
I took it in good strive that she does not understand my expectation. I explained my expectation with some hand signs and did the job myself. I was kinda of cool about it as I felt that my mum who is good in housework and able to communicate in Bahasa Melayu will be the best person to help me coach her to my expectations.
On her third day, my mum was around and she had a shocked about the new helper's work quality. The helper completed the tasks in record time. Having known the feeling of clean floor, I could tell by feel that a sloppy job was done. I spoke to her about it and her immediate reaction was my mum complained about her.
On the fourth day, she did the housework in a new record time. Instead of being fast and sloppy like the first day, it had became slow and sloppy. My mum who was shocked at the work quality of a helper who has 5 years of work experience questioned why her ironing was badly done. She rebutted that ironing in Malaysia is done differently. -_-" During this period, she was also often asking about the job responsibilities of my previous helper. My mum had to chase her off the bed as she was sitting on our bed to do housework and had caught her taking photo albums from the cupboard to look at without asking for permission first.
We had wanted to send her back as we could all sense that she was not receptive to feedback. The last draw was when she mumbled in Bahasa Indonesia about my dad scolding her for letting the tap run to the maximum flow and not closing after use. Of course, the agency disagreed with our intention and countered that any person working at a new place also has 3 months of probation. On the other hand, we were also soft-hearted as we do understand how much each helper has to pay to get a job in Singapore.
My mum and myself had spoken to her after contacting the agency. She expressed that she likes to work for me and like my younger boy as he is funny. My mum had also told her that there is no need to ask if the ex-helper was speedy in her work, what is more important is the quality. She had since shown improvement to the work though I still spot areas where corners are attempted to be cut, e.g., she can clean one lamp but not another.
It has been 2 weeks since she has been with us. During this period, my younger son had fallen sick and had very bad appetite. Even when he is well, he can stubbornly refuse food or run away at meal time. It takes some patience to handle him at times. As he has speech delay, his ways of rejection can be very rude or stubborn. My parents had overheard a couple of occasions where she raised her voice at him when feeding him (could be in English or Malay). She will stop if my mum intervenes openly by talking to the boy. Just last evening, my dad had to sit next to them before she toned down and spoke nicely to coax the boy to eat. Unfortunately, I am always not around when such incidents happens.
There has also been occasions that she has attempted not to even try to feed the boy on the pretext that he does not want to drink milk. I have reminded that even if the food is wasted, there must be attempts to try feeding him especially since he has lost quite a bit of weight lately. For food that he had shown dislike, she should cut them to smaller pieces and offer them with food he like.
I do not deny that it takes a bit of patience to handle my younger son (my previous helper had done a terrific job in the area) but I am starting to rethink if I am risking my younger son to danger. If she can raise her voice on the child and changed her approach only when other adults are around to watch them, will she do more than just scolding if I have to leave the younger boy alone with her at home in future? I have asked if she can cope, she will say it is ok, he is still young, when he grows up, he will behave like the elder boy (contradictory to my younger boy, my elder boy is quite a chatty and curious boy who speaks well in most people's opinions).
When I am telling my boy that he has been naughty, she will also be joining in to "scold him too". For this I am not too sure how I can stop her or show my displeasure about her doing this. This practice of her just adds on to my fear that she may do more than scolding to him and the chances of me knowing will be lower since my boy does not communicate well.
Right now, I think my 2 biggest concerns are language barrier and the safety and care of my younger son. Personally while the agency believes in counselling, we think that it is a difficult to change a person's attitude and have the fear of having revengeful helper.
Separately, I feel that she may just be grabbing a job opportunity that comes along the way since she has to fund her 2 younger brothers through school (16 and 15 if I recall correctly). Thinking back, I feel that she has been dishonest with her replies during the interview.
I interviewed her in English and had my mum to counter check the facts in bahasa melayu. To find out if the helper will be bothered by long distance relationship issue, I had asked her if she had a boyfriend and if she had intention to get marry. Her answers were no that sounded shy to me and she mentioned no to my mum too. End up she came with an engagement ring on her fingers; I had to make a few attempts before I managed to get it off her finger along with another ring that she claimed was a couple ring from her ex during school time.
Due to a bad experience with helper owning phone, we requested her during the interview not to own a phone but to call home through the use of calling cards which are cheaper. She agreed but she came to Singapore with a phone that she claimed was purchased by her ex-employer and was mentioning to me how she had learnt that Singtel SIM are the most suitable SIM and she will like to buy one after her loan. As I have intended to set a harsh requirement with the intention to loosen the condition a little, I was not very sticky about the mobile phone except setting the condition that at no times will I see her skiving to use the phone or take long toilet break to use the phone.
If you are in my shoes, what will you do? I can't help but to think that my previous helper was much better. Right now, I am asking myself if I should even spend the money to get the new helper annual pass to Sentosa, USS and Gardens by the Bay. With my previous helper, I made no hesitation and got her the pass on her first visit which took place like within a week she was with me.
