Advice needed :)

hownow

New Member
hello! i'm currently staying with my husband's family, while waiting for our BTO (estimated may 2017). everything has been going ok so far, which i am very thankful for.

the thing is i recently found out that i'm pregnant & due to space constraints (we live in a 4-rm flat, with PIL and BIL) i am considering to move back to my parents house (only my parents are staying in the 4-rm flat now, so there are 2 empty rooms). i think that my MIL will probably be quite upset if we don't continue to stay together & she doesn't get to take care of her grandchild. also, she is a bit traditional & i don't know if she will accept that her son will be staying at my parent's house. however, the space is really limited in our room now, & i really don't know how we are going to squeeze all the baby things in & still have space to walk ard.

i don't want to affect our relationship with PIL, but i really feel that with a baby joining us, moving to my parent's place will give us much needed space.

any ladies here faced similar problems before?
 


Don't think it's unreasonable... but you don't broach it with your ILs... tell your hubby to raise it. If he makes it HIS suggestion, then there won't be much problem for you.

And also, you can move first, saying you want your mom do confinement for you? Nowadays not unusual for ladies to get their own mommies to do confinement. You would need some privacy during confinement.... with BIL and FIL there, may not be very conducive unless you are prepared to just stay inside the room all day long.
 
@littlemonkies thanks for the suggestion! he suggest that maybe we should bring up the space issue, then lead my IL to suggest that maybe can stay at my parents. it's going to be a bit hard to do this though. we ever discussed this before & he mentioned that he know his mum will be upset, so i think he is reluctant to bring up also.

the confinement thing is a headache also. i would definitely prefer my mum. but i think my MIL might offer to do it too, coz they probably want to be close to the baby.
although the lack of privacy thing is very real as well, the PIL like to keep the main door open, so if i don't close my room door, people walking past the corridor can see right into the room & bed.
 
A few ways to couch it. Have young babies in the house crying all the time at the initial phase may be inconvenient for your BIL as well... and during your confinement you need some privacy but don't want to inconvenience everyone else. That arrangement of temporarily moving out to your parents' is to help everyone adjust better to the baby's coming. If you getting in confinement nanny, even better reason because you guys need a place for nanny to stay so your parents' place the natural solution. Something like that... think carefully.

Maybe for the time being, don't need to make it so final. Let it be for the confinement period first. That's most important because you really need a relaxing space for that. I hear about your situation i also feel very crowded for you..... Then after confinement period... 走一步看一步。 Who knows, by then, you may even need your ILs help you look after baby. Then you can still stay with your mom, but drop off baby at ILs so everyone happy?

All the best yea:) I think best you let your husband handle it, really. You be stressfree :p
 
yah I think u're right, maybe i just say confinement first.
i don't think i would be able to drop baby at ILs & stay at my parent's though, since they are quite far apart. Long term, maybe husband don't like also, coz of distance to workplace. I try not to think abt it, but it's quite worrying sometimes
 
yah I think u're right, maybe i just say confinement first.
i don't think i would be able to drop baby at ILs & stay at my parent's though, since they are quite far apart. Long term, maybe husband don't like also, coz of distance to workplace. I try not to think abt it, but it's quite worrying sometimes

Don't worry.... just take care of the pregnancy first. Thing will work themselves out.
 
i agree. if your husband finds that it is ok for you to move back then why not?
so discuss with your husband on your concerns first.
you are not being inconsiderate.
we are all humans, we have our concerns.
 
must discuss openly and with an open mind.... coz they may suggest ideas that u don't like in the first place.
just make sure dont be agitated haha.. ur baby's health is important! :D
 

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