How to cope without a helper

leling

Member
Hi all, I have 2 young kids aged 3yo and 14mo. I will be sending my 14mo to cc soon. Currently I have a helper but I really don like to have helpers at home cos they always give black face & their moods swing drastically. I am a working mum. How to cope without a maid? Any mothers with the same experience ?
 


i have 3 boys (5yrs, 4yrs & 15mths). I am a FTWM without helper. (my helper left in end Apr) My 2 elder boys are in full day childcare. currently MIL is taking care of my youngest boy & at the same time cook dinner for the family. I will be sending my youngest one to childcare when he turns 24 mths. Since my MIL cooks dinner, everyday after work i will go back for dinner with the family and after that i will be washing the dishes while my hubby bath the boys. After that, we wash the boys' school clothings and we take our turns to shower so that there will be someone around to look after the kiddos. We will only put the wet clothings to dry on the rack after the boys goes to bed, around 10pm. So usually, my hubby and i free time will be at about 10.30pm when all the chores are done. Not easy, at times i do get very frustrated but i am happy that i do not need to put up with the maid's issue.
 
i have 3 boys (5yrs, 4yrs & 15mths). I am a FTWM without helper. (my helper left in end Apr) My 2 elder boys are in full day childcare. currently MIL is taking care of my youngest boy & at the same time cook dinner for the family. I will be sending my youngest one to childcare when he turns 24 mths. Since my MIL cooks dinner, everyday after work i will go back for dinner with the family and after that i will be washing the dishes while my hubby bath the boys. After that, we wash the boys' school clothings and we take our turns to shower so that there will be someone around to look after the kiddos. We will only put the wet clothings to dry on the rack after the boys goes to bed, around 10pm. So usually, my hubby and i free time will be at about 10.30pm when all the chores are done. Not easy, at times i do get very frustrated but i am happy that i do not need to put up with the maid's issue.
Blury bear, how u cope if touchwood one of your kids is sick & can't attend cc? I don't have in-laws or mum to help up.
 
leling, then the not feeling well boy will stay home with my younger one. the other one will still goes to cc.
i have times where my mil is not able to help, i just have to take leave if she is not coming over. but is usually like if she is not feeling well or she is going overseas. otherwise she will come over. Previously, my elder one attend 3hrs preschool. But after i had no.2, we trf him to full day childcare till now. does your elder one goes to cc?
 
Yes my 3yo boy goes to full day cc while my helper takes care of my 14mo bb ( everyday I also 心惊胆战). My elder one falls sick easily n that is where the problem comes in, me & my hb needs to take leave.
 
i usually avoid giving them heaty stuff and cold drinks so they dont fall sick so easy. macdonald is a once week thing and it will only be breakfast cos hotcakes not so heaty and breakfast happy meal no hash browns.. hahaha.. and they will only get to drink fresh milk. i also give them herbal tea once a week to reduce heatiness. i know alot mummies does give supplements but i feel if they are eating well then i find ok. so far, they never eat any supplements.
 
and for household chores wise, my hubby & i only do housework on either sat/sun. we ask the kiddos to sit on sofa watch tv and the young one will seat high chair to watch, so that we can vacumm & mop the floor. ironing of clothing will be afternoon when the 3 boys take their nap.
 
So you seldom do housework on weekdays ? Still need to wash the plates after dinner? How about folding clothes? :p.
 
I gave supplements to my elder one but he still falls sick easily. No tibits n fast food for him at all, but still he does get fever occasionally :(

What herbal tea u give?
 
yes still wash the dishes, pots etc after dinner. floor wise, weekday i only use the dettol wet wipes and the magic clean stick to clean in the evening before i go shower, so that the kids can play. folding clothes is after the boys sleep at night. So some times is like you can only go to bed ard 12+... i wake up 6.30am to prepare the bags, breakfast and the kids' schooling water bottle etc.. before i leave the house. my hubby will wake them up ard 7.30am to have breakfast and send them to school. my mil usually will reach my place ard 7am.
 
my kids love the ginseng chrysan. if not then will be lo han guo. 1 bottle, share by 2 elder one.
otherwise too 'liang' will develop cough
 
hahaha.. different medical shop.
those ready boiled ones.
ginseng chry. will get from hock hua, then lo han guo will get from zheng zhong ping.
cos i find taste better.. lol.
usually i rotate. like 1 week ginseng chry, next week lo han guo..
sometimes i buy barley also.
 
hahaah.. where got time to brew..
if my younger is okay, once in a while my mil will brew for us when the bb nap.
 
Hi

I have 2 girls 3.5 and 1.5 yrs old as well. My eldest girl goes to full day childcare and my youngest one is taken care of by my sister.
For food wise, breakfast is either milk at ard 5am and porridge/bread or noodles at 7plus when my sis reach at 7am
Dinner will be simple like a soup dish or steam fish. I will cook the soup in the morning using thermal pot to keep warm till dinner time.
If steam fish it will be done by my sister.

My sister will fetch my girl at 5plus to shower her and give her dinner and I reach home ard 6plus.
 
My girl also get sick monthly, I feed her supplements to relieve the symptoms and to get well fast. Else she will be irritable and very difficult to handle.
If coughing and flu, I let her eat the capulse cordyceps, NOCO and millennium or drink the zhi ke tang.

I alternate the supplements as my girls get sick of them after sometime.

The capulse cordyceps can get it from Zheng Zhong Ping, think having promo now buy 2 boxes get 1 free
The Zhi Ke Tang, u can buy it from medical shop. I brew it and let her bring to sch and tell the teacher it for her cough so they wont throw it as childcare only allow plain water
 
I wash clothes when preparing them for bed and hang the clothe when they are asleep ard 9plus. If have energy then mop the floor. I tried to mop 1 or 2 rms per night so it wont be so tiring. Currently my hubby is away so doing everything, else mopping floor is his duty as he don't take care of them
 
When my girl fall sick, if the symptoms are mild like cough/flu, I let her go to school unless it fever, diarrhea or vomiting. Else I will take leave or my sis help out to look after both of them.
 
You can cope with a maid, just that you will be more tired as the household chores need to be done by you and your husband. If your hubby cant help, then see can get a part time maid to relieve the mopping part during the transition part so you wont be so stress.

BTW, I use robotic vacuum cleaners to clean the floor when the kids are out then I mop it so I save time in vacuuming floor.

Just cook simple meals like soup base dish or porridge or steam type so not so taxing for you to clean kitchen everyday ^_^
 
tuete_cottage, good for u.. my mil cooks different kind of dishes everyday, so i have no choice but to clean the kitchen everyday after dinner.
btw what brand of robotic cleaner r u using? i'm thinking to get one mop with vacuum function from taobao. :) i think the brand is quite good... Ecovac or something like that. cant remember exactly. :)
 
Hi blurybear

But you and your family get to eat different dishes daily. For mine, it always soup or steam fish/egg and sometime the kids are bored......
Im using iRobot as my hubby got it during DnD 3 years ago. Keep me informed of the robotic mop with vacuum function as thinking of it but spore one so expensive :(
Normally I bought clothes and kid items from Taobao cheaper and wont xin tong when my girls outgrow or damage it ^_^
 
BTW, how do you settle your boys breakfast? My girls are picky, cook porridge for them but they want outside food.. salty n tastier sigh
 
There r different types of ginseng

(1) Red ginseng - heaty
(2) American ginseng - cold
(3) White ginseng - neutral
 
Tuetu cottage, good that your sister can help to take care. I have no help from pil or my own parents , so when it comes to kids getting sick, will be tougher to handle. Can thermal heater be used to warm the food for 12 hours?
 
Hi, i am ftwm without any helper. I have 5yr & 3 yr old kids. Let's jia you, mummies! Actually, keyword to manage kids & housework chores is time management. I engaged a part time cleaner to come my house weekly to do baisc household - wash toilets, clean windows, ironing, etc. For daily, i will do vacuum & mop alternate day & do laundry. It is tiring but try to rest as much as possible in weekend. :p

this is my ftwm journey...maybe you can share yours.
 
mapplemummy, why don't you engage in a helper ? How do u manage your cooking part? I now have a helper . I have 2 young kids. With helper I also feel very tired cos my 2 kiddos take turn to wake up at night . I intend to do freelance n then dismiss helper . But there must be transition period, n now thinking how to work towards freelance , yet have stable income . If continue to work how to manage without helper .
 
Now that ur not working and with helper u r already feeling drained. How r u going to cope with working irregular hrs without helper? Im not doubting u but it will be very tough esp yr kids r very young. Take a step at a time. If u really want to start working, u still need someone to be ard to look after the young kids unless yr hb will be helping with what the helper has been doing.

I've tried working freelance once when my #1 was ard 3, i have to bring her everywhere I go when i have appt. It doesn't work out for me as I don't have anybody to help look after her for even a few hrs.
 
I'm not sure what type of freelance ur going to do but what if u have to work in the evening when they r not in childcare will hb help u? Slowly plan out.
 
Betc

I am currently working full time. Thanks for the advise. Yes slowly plan n one at a time. Freelance would be work from home type of job.
 
Hi leling

Yes the thermal pot could last for almost 12 hours for half a pot soup. I cook ard 7am and ard 6pm plus, the soup is still warm. However, if you cook a little bit of soup, then it wont be warm for so long.

I used 5L thermal pot.
 
Think I need time out as well and really thanks to my sisters who can help me out sometimes.

My eldest is 3.5 yrs and she sometimes is really defiant as keep doing the things that I told not to or say those words that she shouldn't. I tried not to lose temper but time and again I scold her which make me feel guilty as I wont want her to learn from scoldings. Rather I reason out for her but she still do it...............
 
btw, does your kids childcare give them assessment on Chinese, English and mathematics. My girl is in N2 and shock to see that she has assessment papers. She didn't do well but want to know that is Spore educational standard really that fast now?

N2, she need to know what letters the animals/things start with? Know the meaning of same and different etc
 
Tuete cottage, my 3 yo boy same same. Defiant. Need to yell else won't listen . I use cane too. Yes , a lot of website shows we shouldn't yell at kids but they keep repeating the mistake . Mine is in N1, haven't got any assessment yet. Which school is your girl in? Looks like very kiasu :p
 
N2 got assessment? my no. 2 is in N2 carpe diem. never bring any assessment home leh. however he does ask like what animal starts with what letter... or what word starts with what letter.
 
My girl is in Sparkletot N2. She brought back the assessment papers she did in her school and I got a shock. Didn't know N2 need to be intellectually assessed already
 
However, going to switch her to MOE kindergarten next year as her childcare has a complete change of the teacher and principal...
 
I think PCF will have alot of assessments to do.. My elder used to attend church kindergarten. No homework until K2. N1 to K1, all work done in school and it's simple tasks that they can accomplish themselves. My younger one will be going PCF N2 so I can foresee myself doing alot of handicrafts for her.
 
Like preparing for Primary 1 to handle the tests....feel sorry for her sometimes as my intention is for her to socialize and play not to be stress by those assessment worksheets
 
mapplemummy, why don't you engage in a helper ? How do u manage your cooking part? I now have a helper . I have 2 young kids. With helper I also feel very tired cos my 2 kiddos take turn to wake up at night . I intend to do freelance n then dismiss helper . But there must be transition period, n now thinking how to work towards freelance , yet have stable income . If continue to work how to manage without helper .

Leling, sorry for late reply... I don't cook during wkday, except wkend... try to make your kiddos to sleep throughout...it will help you better.
I do minimal housework & engaged part time cleaner every sunday. Actually, you need a time management to organize without plan not to have a helper.

Or you can invest iRobot or steam mop, heard a lot of good reviews.

For the freelance, it is not a bad idea. I also have one, as I planned to be a sahm when my gal going to primary school in 2 yr time. Hope I can achieve my goal. if you interested, can pm me.
 
Im a SAHM with 2 children, actually I'm also planning to start working fulltime but I do not like the idea of having a helper.
I also do not have MIL or my parents to help me with the children. I can understand how u feel Leling.....

It is still do-able as some of the mummies share here. Perhaps looking for a part time babysitter would help (ad-hoc type), so we can send our kids to them when they are not well & cannot go CC. There are some PT babysitter who charge daily/hourly.
And also getting a part-time cleaner to do weekly cleaning. So that we don't have to spend time cleaning over the weekend, instead, can have more quality with our children.
 
For me, is my personal reason, I do not know how to handle a helper, Im very bad in giving instruction & supervise.
I used to try my brother's helper for a month. Ended up i was so stressed up. The helper is always using her hp & i do not know how to stop her...though already tell her off a few times.
After that, i know i cannot have a helper : (
 


I employ many helpers but none of them is satisfactory. They either complain work too much, too bored & routine (I tot helper tasks are routine), wants freedom, expects employers to buy food for them, din follow instruction (my maid put salt in my bb food though I told her several times cannot). Is really mentally stressed with so many maid issues. Work is a lot with 2 kids but having maid is another stressful point.
 

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