Baby keeps on suckling, I am going mad!!

Chaling

New Member
Hi all! I signed up with motherhood cos I need advice from experienced mums like you... Before I go crazy...

My baby girl is my number 3, the only one I manage to fully breastfeed successfully. (I was so happy and proud. Little did I know...) Previous 2 were bottlefed so I totally have no idea how to wean no.3 off my breasts!

I have lost my freedom since I had her. I can't go anywhere without her, I have to be with her all the time in case she demands to be fed. I am the only one who can make her sleep, be it day or night, cos she will suckle till she sleeps. She wakes up several times to suck every time she sleeps, regardless of day or night. I tried to refuse her and pat her to sleep instead, but she cries and screams! I quickly offer her my breasts cos I dun want her to wake up my other 2. She refuses the bottle and pacifier, they just agitate her more. I am so so tired...

Help. What should I do? I want my freedom back asap. She is coming to 1 year old already. It's time to wean her off right? But how???
 


Dear Chaling

Many of us have been similar shoes. First of all, you need to be 100% sure of your decision. And then, you dedicate 3 full days (and nights!!) to executing the plan, no turning back, no getting soft, NO MEANS NO!! Before the age of 2, anything will be "forgotten" by the end of the 3rd day.

I am one of those mommies that when I have decided, I will do, it, no matter how "painful" it seems. By the end of the 3rd day, I am always successful. I have done the same when weaning off breastfeeding, when weaning off thumb sucking, pacifier, patting, etc etc. But you must persevere. You cannot stop halfway. You mustn't give in or give up.

So here's a rough guide for the plan. Start on a weekend:
FRIDAY night - no more suckling, make sure baby is well fed. Can even take her out to make sure she is sufficiently tired. That night, no more suckling. Mommy wears normal bra padded with cabbage! So you let her sleep - cuddle, or pat (this could be your next nightmare, though!!). So she cries. So you cuddle. You give formula milk. If she is really hungry she will drink. If she is not, she will cry and cry and you will not give in. At the end, both of you are tired and fall asleep.

SATURDAY morning - continue wearing normal bra padded with cabbage. Change when feels warm. Smells horrible!! No breastmilk. Give formula milk (as babies associate tastes, e.g. breastmilk comes from breast!!). Eat as usual, eat, play, sleep all as usual, although she might need more nap as she was tired. You too, should take day naps cos it would've been a horrible night.

SATURDAY night - and so she kinda remembers a bit, but you offer comfort in the form of cuddle... and then you smell of smelly cabbage, not milk... so okay, maybe some resistance. Repeat night routine... NO BREAST NO MATTER WHAT.

SUNDAY morning - she had probably forgotten or given up altogether. Else, repeat for another day.

SUNDAY NIGHT - success.

This 3-day-3-night method almost always work, unless the mother had been inconsistent. Before you embark on this, you need to alert your spouse and your helper. Also they should refrain from making jokes or reminding the baby about the breast. Best for Hub to sleep with 1 & 2 so that he can keep them in bed. It sometimes help to change the routine a bit, like going out, etc cos it helps to change the "expectation" - e.g. some babies fall asleep in the buggy, or in the car, etc. My friend managed to wean her 18m son within 2 nights. the 3rd night, the boy woke up and asked for RICE. because he was hungry! After I wean off one of my babies, she also slept through the night! at 7 months!

A note about patting babies to sleep - this could backfire. My baby decided that she wants this all night long. So everytime she woke up, she asked me to pat her. At one point I started the 3-day-3-night routine. I just let her scream and cry herself silly. After the 2nd night, she gave up.

It will be teary and noisy. So, only do it 100% - one time off. Don't do it half-heartedly.
 
Congratz on ur successful bf-ing! Not everyone has the chance to total bf for this long. :)

For me i went on a trip without my baby who was turning 9mth old (total breast feed day n night). Den when i left, my mom just bottle feed her my expressed bm.. Who knows when i return 5 days later she dun bother latching even when i force her. I do feel sad that she did wean off :(
Now with #3, i m more so determined to bf for 2 yrs...yes, baby is sticky n all, but i believe after gg back work things will take some changes for me.
Having more kids = spending less time with each n everyone of time. Sigh, hope i can pull thru too.

@frog , thanks for the sharing too! One day i may need to try ..... ;)
 
Hi, furbee & frog...
Thanks for yr replies. Furbee, u r so lucky Bb weaned off so effortlessly. I am not brave enough to leave Bb behind and go off on my own. I dun even dare to go out for dinner with my frens and leave her with hubby for a night... Pathetic, I know.

Frog, yr suggestion seems so daunting. I hope I have the strength to follow thru. I just want to clarify something with you. What is the trick with the cabbage leaves? Is it to reduce breast milk? I would like to continue giving her breast milk, just not latch on directly. Or is it to camouflage the smell of my breast milk?
 
Cabbage leaves (iceberg lettuce - bo-li-sheng-chai) is cooling, and it helps to relieve engorgement. If you intend to express out your breastmilk and give EBM, then do not use cabbage leave treatment as it will reduce milk production. But my question to you is, have you even been expressing milk and giving EBM? If not, at 1yo, it probably wouldn't work!

My method definitely works, it takes one to three days, but it definitely works. Just make sure you follow through. Else, it is sure confusing and torturous for your baby to go through it half way!
 

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