No sex for 2 years

doesithappen

doesithappen

New Member
I married my husband 2 years ago because i got pregnant.
When we were dating, we were having sex like whenever we had the chance to.. maybe like once every 2 weeks.. or even weekly.

After i got pregnant, we stopped having sex.
Even after the birth of my child, he hasn't touched me.

Recently when we finally had sex, i realized he suddenly went soft in the middle of action.

Now im wondering if he has actually lost his sex drive because he is too stressed at work causing him to be impotent? Or a case of erectile dysfunction?

How would i know if he is cheating on me....

I have tried talking to him and telling him about my needs but he always shrug me off telling me that it's bcoz our child is always with us in the bed.. **but isnt it more exciting making love in those times while the child is asleep or even in the toilet**

I just don't get it.
If a man really wants sex.. he would try means and ways to get it.. Mine doesn't.

Does anyone has similar experiences as me?
I have quite a high sex drive and unfortunately now i am relying on myself to satisfy my own needs.
 


Hmmm..well..some guys hv certain 'turn off' like us women. And what deem sexy and romantic to you may not what he thinks so .. And all of us changes our 'preference' sometimes even without our knowing.

So, listen to your hubby... He already told you what turn him off.

Talk with him, usually guys will share only when you ask ... So start communicating with open mind and try to look from his Angle.

All will be good ..

God bless.
 
doesithappen said:
I **but isnt it more exciting making love in those times while the child is asleep or even in the toilet**
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for me is a turn off.... i guess everyone deem their excitement differently...

not all men is into sex during night time.. maybe in teens to early 30s, yes all the time.. but after that is all downhill especially the guy has a stressful lifestyle...
 
I don't think its a case of ED or he is cheating on you. Don't think that way. Please have more faith in him.
It's probably the mood and the environment is not right.
Talk to him and I'm sure you'll be able to work something out. Try to put your child on his/her own bed/crib after they sleep, and then you'll have more intimate moments with your hubby..
 
I have been very open and genuinely expressed my concerns, needs and also asked about why we haven't been intimate.


The last episode of going soft made me want to believe strongly that he has a case of ED instead of him cheating on me.

Is there anyway I can convince him to do a check on his testosterone level.. Without hurting him. I have suggested that stress could have attributed to his low desires bcoz his hormones level have been affected but he merely laughed it off.
 
It is not easy to get a guy to see a doctor due to ED problems, as it hurts his manly pride..
Share with him your needs and concerns, and see how he responds.
 
Which is why im so at lost right now.

To be honest, because of the lack of sex in the marriage, i have already adjusted and got used to not having any.
But i do wish that if my husband has a health issue, he will get it addressed..

No man will admit that he has ED or.. any manly issues.
Im his wife so im willing to go through with him.. and even if he is going to be impotent for the rest of his life so be it.. its just so difficult to get an answer.

Cheating?
Stressed?
Low hormones?
ED?
Impotent?

I have been very open about my needs all along. and i told him lets find time and have some good sex next time when the time is right.
I have even been initiating too. But it's not going.
So.. i really dunno. Helpless.

I have talked. asked. cajole... its almost like.. im at my limit and totally at loss on what to do.

=(
 
pixie ng said:
for me is a turn off.... i guess everyone deem their excitement differently...

not all men is into sex during night time.. maybe in teens to early 30s, yes all the time.. but after that is all downhill especially the guy has a stressful lifestyle...
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pixie issit true that after 30s its a big downhill.
i only know that for women its a huge but for men their wants dont fall that early in life.
 
Nope.. guys who are high in drive continues to be so thru the forties and fifties..
Unless there is a medical condition involves then it becomes, the mind is willing but the body is weak.. and in that case it can be extremely frustrating..
Else, the man may be going thru menopause where mood swings and all, including sex drive are affected..

Then, there are always a percentage of man who drives just dives due to stress, work or other issues..

It's hard to pinpoint the cause in my opinion..
Please don't give up is all I can say. I also know it's easier said than done..

When you talk to him, how does he respond? What are his response? Does he even want to talk about it?
 
deprived said:
Nope.. guys who are high in drive continues to be so thru the forties and fifties..
Unless there is a medical condition involves then it becomes, the mind is willing but the body is weak.. and in that case it can be extremely frustrating..
Else, the man may be going thru menopause where mood swings and all, including sex drive are affected..

Then, there are always a percentage of man who drives just dives due to stress, work or other issues..

It's hard to pinpoint the cause in my opinion..
Please don't give up is all I can say. I also know it's easier said than done..

When you talk to him, how does he respond? What are his response? Does he even want to talk about it?
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He's not very willing to go into the topic.
I have been bringing on the part where we have been apart physically.

He just attribute that to us being busy with the child and the fact that he has been very stressed about work

When i asked if he didnt enjoy himself (when he went soft.. i didnt say he went soft i just ask if he didnt enjoy himself) he just told me its just too early in the morning..

My thoughts were... dont the men get morning erection when they wake up?
IF they dont get a hard on in the morning... i really think and suspect that is a case of ED.

Anyway my husband is quite conservative in that sense. Ive always been very open minded and the communicator.. its just hard to get him to share more.
He's just that way.
So... no matter what i try to get him to talk a little.. its just so very very difficult.

My thoughts are the same still.
Im fine if there is no sex.
IF there is it would be perfect.


But i want to know the reason why.
Can it really be due to work stress... im stressed at work.. but when i go home i still want my love and action.. you get what i mean?

I do think that i have been very very accomodating to the "sexless" marriage.. just that i find him quite selfish.. bcoz i told him that i have my wants and needs too. but.. its still the same.
 
doesithappen said:
Which is why im so at lost right now.

To be honest, because of the lack of sex in the marriage, i have already adjusted and got used to not having any.
But i do wish that if my husband has a health issue, he will get it addressed..

No man will admit that he has ED or.. any manly issues.
Im his wife so im willing to go through with him.. and even if he is going to be impotent for the rest of his life so be it.. its just so difficult to get an answer.

Cheating?
Stressed?
Low hormones?
ED?
Impotent?

I have been very open about my needs all along. and i told him lets find time and have some good sex next time when the time is right.
I have even been initiating too. But it's not going.
So.. i really dunno. Helpless.

I have talked. asked. cajole... its almost like.. im at my limit and totally at loss on what to do.

=(
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For me I suspect my husband's loss in sexual desire is related to a car accident. He had a bad whiplash and had bleeding in the brain. That subsequent year we didn't have sex at all cos we were both fearful of him aggravating something.

Then after that things just aren't the same anymore. He also tends to be more impatient and for a period of time I was worried he was clinically depressed I asked him to go to a psychologist he refused to.

Got worse when we were trying to conceive and he got so stressed and upset, compounded by me having PCOS and having issues with conceiving. Few times he would just walk out of the room in the middle of BD.

Thankfully these recent months things are better after I'm on IUI. He said it's cos he's not so stressed abt thinking every time we have sex it's to try to make a baby, since we're having artificial means for that.

@doesithappen But emotionally he still cares for you?
 
veraine said:
For me I suspect my husband's loss in sexual desire is related to a car accident. He had a bad whiplash and had bleeding in the brain. That subsequent year we didn't have sex at all cos we were both fearful of him aggravating something.

Then after that things just aren't the same anymore. He also tends to be more impatient and for a period of time I was worried he was clinically depressed I asked him to go to a psychologist he refused to.

Got worse when we were trying to conceive and he got so stressed and upset, compounded by me having PCOS and having issues with conceiving. Few times he would just walk out of the room in the middle of BD.

Thankfully these recent months things are better after I'm on IUI. He said it's cos he's not so stressed abt thinking every time we have sex it's to try to make a baby, since we're having artificial means for that.

@doesithappen But emotionally he still cares for you?
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I would say my husband still loves me.
Maybe a little more than before our marriage?

Just that the sex part is ... ya..
 
doesithappen said:
He's not very willing to go into the topic.
I have been bringing on the part where we have been apart physically.

He just attribute that to us being busy with the child and the fact that he has been very stressed about work

When i asked if he didnt enjoy himself (when he went soft.. i didnt say he went soft i just ask if he didnt enjoy himself) he just told me its just too early in the morning..

My thoughts were... dont the men get morning erection when they wake up?
IF they dont get a hard on in the morning... i really think and suspect that is a case of ED.

Anyway my husband is quite conservative in that sense. Ive always been very open minded and the communicator.. its just hard to get him to share more.
He's just that way.
So... no matter what i try to get him to talk a little.. its just so very very difficult.

My thoughts are the same still.
Im fine if there is no sex.
IF there is it would be perfect.


But i want to know the reason why.
Can it really be due to work stress... im stressed at work.. but when i go home i still want my love and action.. you get what i mean?

I do think that i have been very very accomodating to the "sexless" marriage.. just that i find him quite selfish.. bcoz i told him that i have my wants and needs too. but.. its still the same.
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Yes! I totally agree with you! I was also stressed at work leh, but still feel the need. But our men ah, if work is making them unhappy, seems like their bodies won't function.

Or maybe it's just us who have high sex drives?
 
veraine said:
Yes! I totally agree with you! I was also stressed at work leh, but still feel the need. But our men ah, if work is making them unhappy, seems like their bodies won't function.

Or maybe it's just us who have high sex drives?
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bcoz of what happen during the first 2 years of our marriage.. my high sex drive kinda geared down to medium already.. if this happens i think it would pull a brake on my sex drive and i might just shut my doors to him. (just kidding).

But ya.. its an important aspect but ... i value him more than how i view my desires. =)

How do u find a balance?
 
@doesithappen man and woman function differently...

And not all men function the same way. everyone is unique in its own sense.
It would unfair to him and to yourself if you measure each other using your own yardstick..

He sounds like someone very conservative and not comfortable talking about sex and its related topics.

If he is attributing that to the child and work stress, find a chance to ask a relative to babysit your child, and go out spend the afternoon with him in the hotel or something.. like a staycation.. try to spark off the fire that started when you were dating.. how passionately both of you were over each other before you got pregnant.. It's not easy.. need to put some effort and get his in buy in to the idea too.. he is serious about wanting this marriage to work out too, right?
 
deprived said:
@doesithappen man and woman function differently...

And not all men function the same way. everyone is unique in its own sense.
It would unfair to him and to yourself if you measure each other using your own yardstick..

He sounds like someone very conservative and not comfortable talking about sex and its related topics.

If he is attributing that to the child and work stress, find a chance to ask a relative to babysit your child, and go out spend the afternoon with him in the hotel or something.. like a staycation.. try to spark off the fire that started when you were dating.. how passionately both of you were over each other before you got pregnant.. It's not easy.. need to put some effort and get his in buy in to the idea too.. he is serious about wanting this marriage to work out too, right?
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MY husband doesnt seem to rate sex high in his list.. it seems like... he doesnt even need a blowjob.
To him, the top priority now is to earn enough for our new home and to bring up our child..
He has told me that ever since he has a family. he is working alot harder trying to bring home more bread and butter..
That is what is on the top of his list..

Now this is very sad. Bcoz if a man values his family so high up and discounts himself on his needs and wants.. i feel bad..
 
find a balance elsewhere la.. as in other activities to take your mind of it.. else masturbate in privacy everyday if the sex drive is stronger..

IMHO sex drive is a very personal thing and not easy to find a partner that is able to match.. but that is just one aspect.. an important aspect though..
but doesn't mean and definitely not worth getting a divorce over..
Focus on other aspects of your life..

Eventually, its important to think what do you want out of our short life?
It's not how long we live, it is how fruitful and how fulfilling we life..
Did we live without regrets?
 
doesithappen said:
bcoz of what happen during the first 2 years of our marriage.. my high sex drive kinda geared down to medium already.. if this happens i think it would pull a brake on my sex drive and i might just shut my doors to him. (just kidding).

But ya.. its an important aspect but ... i value him more than how i view my desires. =)

How do u find a balance?
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Mine easier problem to solve than yours. Because he still wants to satisfy me and make me happy la. So if I ask occasionally and tell him that I have the urge for sex, he usually will be agreeable. Even though most of the time he'll tell me to wait for another day.

But I cannot tell him it's fertile period.
 
Have a good talk with him.. coz there is no point working so hard and neglecting the needs of the family..
coz when you "over" neglect the family, you get the money but no more family to spend on..

Live not for the moment, but live in the moment...

Work hard and set aside time for family..
Money is never enough, except for the extreme filthy rich few..

Spending time and cherishing them is more important..
 
deprived said:
find a balance elsewhere la.. as in other activities to take your mind of it.. else masturbate in privacy everyday if the sex drive is stronger..

IMHO sex drive is a very personal thing and not easy to find a partner that is able to match.. but that is just one aspect.. an important aspect though..
but doesn't mean and definitely not worth getting a divorce over..
Focus on other aspects of your life..

Eventually, its important to think what do you want out of our short life?
It's not how long we live, it is how fruitful and how fulfilling we life..
Did we live without regrets?
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The irony being before the child.. sex was good.
After that.....

I knew of my high drive.. and i wanted to date/ marry a man of similar "interes"t... but.. it was quite a shock to know that from hot steamy sex it ended up becoming... nothing.
 
veraine said:
Mine easier problem to solve than yours. Because he still wants to satisfy me and make me happy la. So if I ask occasionally and tell him that I have the urge for sex, he usually will be agreeable. Even though most of the time he'll tell me to wait for another day.

But I cannot tell him it's fertile period.
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lucky you!! =)
 
then communicate and talk... if sex was good before.. then yours and his drive should be matched before marriage.. :D
try to understand and talk. not easy but let him understand importance of family time as well..
 
deprived said:
then communicate and talk... if sex was good before.. then yours and his drive should be matched before marriage.. :D
try to understand and talk. not easy but let him understand importance of family time as well..
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That's why there is a BIG QUESTION MARK...

WHY?!!

What happen to my darling husband..
and where is my sex... boring sex also can... =(
 
My guess he is just over focus on the work and money.. talk to him.. try to see if he tells you work stress at workplace is crazy...
help him to unwind...

he does get aroused when you touch him right? then he is normal la..

Hope he sees the light soon...
 
doesithappen said:
That's why there is a BIG QUESTION MARK...

WHY?!!

What happen to my darling husband..
and where is my sex... boring sex also can... =(
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Yah. That's the question I asked him also. What happened to the sex we used to have? What happened to variety? LOL

But he always never answer. For me at least things are looking slightly better these few months, don't stress him further and slowly ease into higher frequency lor. Let it be boring also can.
 
That's the spirit.. never give up..
actually what is meant by boring sex? :p
how can it be boring when the love and feelings flow between the both of you?
 
Hi doseithappen,

After reading what you hv written, would like to share with you my experience.

Throughout my marriage, I've found my husband to be the rather conservative kind who gets fidgety with touch and he seems to have a rather low sex drive even at the initial stage of marriage. I would say we dont have a fantastic sex life at all. I am not the kind who will go around 'seducing' him so i am not sure if tat'll make him rise to the occasion and this not something to ask frens abt. I just let it be. During pregnancy, he can go without sex for the entire period and months after the baby is born.

Our children sleep on the same bed as us and over time, he has problem getting an erection so every rare attempt to hv sex ends up in disappointment. I am not sure if it's cos the kids are in the same room with us but he didnt mention anything abt it and gradually, I learn to live with that. Like you, I was wondering if he's some issue but didnt bring it up as i dun want to hurt his ego. But at the same time, i was unhappy that he's being selfish for not lookg into his problem, if any and not thinkg abt my needs.

After enduring a sexless marriage for 4 yrs, i was to be surprised to find out that he's an affair! N by the time i knew it, he's into it for 2 yrs! N the reason why i didnt see the sign is partly cos we've not been doing it. Even though i see some changes in his behaviour and inc freq in biz trip, i hv nvr thot of an affair cos to me, he has low or no drive! To me, it's a double blow. I actually feel like a total failure and idiot.

just be alert and bear in mind that for man who behaves in this manner, it's still possible for them to get into an affair subsequently even though this isnt what happen at the beginning.
 
Hi sourapple,

It's indeed difficult n in fact insulting to realise that the problem actually lies in u after u hv faithfully remained in such a marriage for yrs. It's so hurtful to think that after condemning me to such a marriage, he's actually having an enjoyable time out there.

We are in the process of getting a divorce now cos of his unwillingness to end the affair. N it's only when this happens that i realised tat physical intimacy is an impt part of a marriage besides communication. Without tat, the spiritual bondage is somehow incomplete n he eventually no longer view me as a wife. It's very sad, such that even though it's been 2 yrs since the discovery, it still upset me to think of wat i've gone thru and wat's happened.
 
First of all, baby on the same bed means sex has to happen elsewhere in the house. Otherwise, it is a no-go. Baby in the same room, still can try...
Then, hor.. how is your hubby's relationship with the child/children? He might be traumatised by having "made a baby" and the responsibilities that suddenly appeared. Also, some are traumatised by watching childbirth. Which is why in the old days, men were never allowed to see their wives give birth. Next, of course, the moods must be right? The time must be right?
 
Hi deprived,

Initially he blurted out something abt he 'needs to talk' when in fact he's the one who's not communicating to me and whenever i asked him if there's anything wrong, he will say nothing is wrong. When i questioned him abt his 'performance',he simply said 'sorry'. Frankly, till now I still have no idea what went wrong and what have i done to hv him suddenly treatg me like an arch enemy and to actually keep a physical distance when we happen to pass by each other in the house. I can only assume that there's no more love.
 
angst said:
Hi sourapple,

It's indeed difficult n in fact insulting to realise that the problem actually lies in u after u hv faithfully remained in such a marriage for yrs. It's so hurtful to think that after condemning me to such a marriage, he's actually having an enjoyable time out there.

We are in the process of getting a divorce now cos of his unwillingness to end the affair. N it's only when this happens that i realised tat physical intimacy is an impt part of a marriage besides communication. Without tat, the spiritual bondage is somehow incomplete n he eventually no longer view me as a wife. It's very sad, such that even though it's been 2 yrs since the discovery, it still upset me to think of wat i've gone thru and wat's happened.
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Sorry to hear abt ur experience.. And no, please do not think that the "problem" lies with you.

The forbidden fruit tastes sweeter that's all.

And can tell ur strong :)
 
Thanks ladies for sharing with me.
Its a shocking truth that there people in the same situation as me and those that have come out and shared with me.. are the ones who have cheating husbands... omg
now i really feel like i might just have to put up with it for a while.. and maybe one day when im really fed up.. i would hire a PI to track him.
Truth is im really afraid of knowing the truth.... Ironic isnt it.

TO be honest, im wishing that people tell me im just being overly sensitive and all..

MY husband is all along a no nonsense kind of man.
He is well known to be very "dull" to women and he absolutely abhors his co-worker when the latter flaunt about his sexcapade with his mistress and all the things they have done in bed.. and how hot it is..
When he relates to me.. his expression was full of disgust... can a man be such a good actor..
he doesnt seem like he's lying.. and i really believe him.

Sadly i see that some of the ladies here have husbands with a dark secret..
I am truly afraid of knowing the darker truth.
I would rather be kept wondering if he had a misstress... and go on thinking that the husband is just experiencing some low in life and cant get it up. =(
 
I am also wondering...

Say if the husband is in fact merely suffering from low sex drive and ED or whatever health problems...
would he be so disappointed to learn that i have been ranting so much on the forum and seeking advice.. and even considered hiring a PI to track on him..

It's like saying i have no faith nor trust in this marriage..

HOw hurting.
 
My husband and I stopped having sex for 2 years as well. Ever since I got pregnant, he was worried that he will harm the baby. And now that my daughter is nearly 2 years old, he told me that he has desire but can't seem to have sex with me because he sees my body as providing for baby I.e giving birth, breastfeeding etc. It was the same when I had my first child 3 years ago, but as soon as I stopped breastfeeding, our sex life improve.
 
doesithappen said:
Thanks ladies for sharing with me.
Its a shocking truth that there people in the same situation as me and those that have come out and shared with me.. are the ones who have cheating husbands... omg
now i really feel like i might just have to put up with it for a while.. and maybe one day when im really fed up.. i would hire a PI to track him.
Truth is im really afraid of knowing the truth.... Ironic isnt it.

TO be honest, im wishing that people tell me im just being overly sensitive and all..

MY husband is all along a no nonsense kind of man.
He is well known to be very "dull" to women and he absolutely abhors his co-worker when the latter flaunt about his sexcapade with his mistress and all the things they have done in bed.. and how hot it is..
When he relates to me.. his expression was full of disgust... can a man be such a good actor..
he doesnt seem like he's lying.. and i really believe him.

Sadly i see that some of the ladies here have husbands with a dark secret..
I am truly afraid of knowing the darker truth.
I would rather be kept wondering if he had a misstress... and go on thinking that the husband is just experiencing some low in life and cant get it up. =(
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Sad to say.. Men can be very good actors, not just ladies..
Question is how long can any lies or deceit be kept a secret..

Don't think too much about doubting him. Trust and have faith in him la.. unless there are new evidence that shows otherwise..
but if the desire to know and doubt is eating you alive, spend the money and find out the "truth".. and be ready to be hit by the possible worst case scenario..

It's a tough and hard choice.. but it's something you have to make.. else it can be very miserable..

Bottomline.. try to talk to him more and get him to share and talk about it..
remove any obstacles one at a time.. more speed less haste..
 
doesithappen said:
Thanks ladies for sharing with me.
Its a shocking truth that there people in the same situation as me and those that have come out and shared with me.. are the ones who have cheating husbands... omg
now i really feel like i might just have to put up with it for a while.. and maybe one day when im really fed up.. i would hire a PI to track him.
Truth is im really afraid of knowing the truth.... Ironic isnt it.

TO be honest, im wishing that people tell me im just being overly sensitive and all..

MY husband is all along a no nonsense kind of man.
He is well known to be very "dull" to women and he absolutely abhors his co-worker when the latter flaunt about his sexcapade with his mistress and all the things they have done in bed.. and how hot it is..
When he relates to me.. his expression was full of disgust... can a man be such a good actor..
he doesnt seem like he's lying.. and i really believe him.

Sadly i see that some of the ladies here have husbands with a dark secret..
I am truly afraid of knowing the darker truth.
I would rather be kept wondering if he had a misstress... and go on thinking that the husband is just experiencing some low in life and cant get it up. =(
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Yes, there are many good actors and actresses around.. I dare say many of those involved in affairs are the ones who appear the most normal and would follow social conventions type

That's the prob with us.. Want to know the truth but worried that the truth would hurt us.. So I go by the mantra "don't ask if I can't accept the answer"

And yeah, if he's innocent and gets to know you're suspecting he would be upset la. But even if he's guilty, he would also pretend that he's upset.

Just playing the devil's advocate here :) not saying yr husband is involved with someone else outside!
 
Hi does it happen,

I have the same situation as you, not having sex for 2 years.. My husband is a low sex drive person, he would rather spend time on this iPad or computer games than to have sex.. A few times when I tried to initiate sex, he would say he was very tired and we should do it another day, but "this day" hasn't come as he has not asked for it.. After a few rejects, we are now in a no sex marriage.. I had felt very sad and hurt about it but now just accept it.. Now night times, he will play with his iPad while I surf my internet or watch tv dramas.. I know this is not healthy for a marriage.. But do we need to have sex for the sake of having sex?
 
hi doesithappen,

Just some sharing and thoughts you might consider...

1. perhaps work out the the financial plan as in $$ spend on the new home (renovation and appliances/furniture to buy), child expenditure and monthly bills and expenses e.g. pub bill, hp bill, t &C bill, internet bill and groceries, monthly savings e.g. couple savings, child savings, top up CDA, renovation savings. with these plan, at least your hubby know how hard he needs to work as in take up OT.

2. Ensure home is neat and tidy when he return from work

3. child is fed, neat and tidy when he return from work.

4. dinner is ready when he return from work

5. dress up for him e.g. neat hairdo and received him with a smile after work.

6. your child should sleep on a bed/room or get someone babysit child.

7. aromatherapy might helps gets romance back :)

8. if he is on medication e.g BP medicine, do check with doc the side effect of it or just google the medicine.

9. You might need to rekindle old times days before having baby hehe

10. if he not ready for 2nd baby, prepare protection or tell him you are not fertile that day...

Nevertheless, he love you more then before having baby so ...if no sex, self satisfy or bear with it...
 
It jus reminded me of my previous marriage! We din hav sex for 1-2yrs or prolly once in a yr? Even when we were in a holiday, staying in ritz Carlton, we attempted but he went soft!
Guess wat??? Months later....Found out tat he was having an affair w his ex :S
 
tanying said:
It jus reminded me of my previous marriage! We din hav sex for 1-2yrs or prolly once in a yr? Even when we were in a holiday, staying in ritz Carlton, we attempted but he went soft!
Guess wat??? Months later....Found out tat he was having an affair w his ex :S
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attempted and went soft? and found having an affair with his ex?
I feel bad and sad for you hearing this.. it must have been painful..

sounds like he got a on and off switch button.. just thinking out loud.
If he went soft with you.. he'll probably went soft with his ex too.. :p
Human body not so power can turn on and off, normally speaking that is..
Wonder if he can even actually have sex with his ex... LOL.. ;)
 
Joeal said:
Hi does it happen,

I have the same situation as you, not having sex for 2 years.. My husband is a low sex drive person, he would rather spend time on this iPad or computer games than to have sex.. A few times when I tried to initiate sex, he would say he was very tired and we should do it another day, but "this day" hasn't come as he has not asked for it.. After a few rejects, we are now in a no sex marriage.. I had felt very sad and hurt about it but now just accept it.. Now night times, he will play with his iPad while I surf my internet or watch tv dramas.. I know this is not healthy for a marriage.. But do we need to have sex for the sake of having sex?
Click to expand...

We shouldn't have sex for the sake of having sex..
We should be having sex because we want to have sex..

As long as both parties are happy with the way things are, and that is what both parties want, IMHO, it is totally fine..
And there is nothing wrong with it..
But if one party feels sad and hurt, and not happy.. then need to talk about.. Unless from a priority and need standpoint it is right at the bottom..
if it is right at the bottom, then won't feel sad and hurt ma.. coz its not important right?

Hiaz.. complexity of human nature..
 
Hi all, yes. man after 30 will keep going downhill... As a man myself.. & after checking with people around my age and older then me. They say, yes, after 30 just keep go softer and easier tired (cannot last longer).
 
tanying said:
It jus reminded me of my previous marriage! We din hav sex for 1-2yrs or prolly once in a yr? Even when we were in a holiday, staying in ritz Carlton, we attempted but he went soft!
Guess wat??? Months later....Found out tat he was having an affair w his ex :S
Click to expand...

i do feel the same as this tanying.. and now we are in midst of the divorce proceeding too..

guess what.. the other woman went on to have affair with a friend's husband and ended up broke this friend of mine's marriage up too. now the other woman just got married to her lover due to a shotgun baby at this moment. and i pity this husband of mine for being unwanted by both of me and the other woman now. i find the man can be very stupid too and dun know what till they lose everything in one go.

till now i still feeling very sore...
 

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