Devastated wife


I met this female lawyer that did the divorce for me. She is very protective for females.
Initially is my ex-husband that hire a lawyer to file for the divorce, cos I don't have $$.. But when I went down a few times to meet the lawyer, she does not entertain me and she is very defensive to my ex. I couldn't stand the unfairness listed in the contract, I therefore decided to find a lawyer myself to fight the case. I wanted the full custody of my children even though I don't have a job and stable income.

Luckily for me I chance upon this female lawyer that went all the way out for me to gain quite abit of $$ (alimony)..

Ladies, I don't encourage divorce. If it's character clash, temper issues, I think these can be solved. But if it's sharing your husband with somebody else, it's time to stand up for yourself and your children. Be fair to yourself and them. Don't let these men trample over your life and control you.

You can do it!! Jiayou!!
 
Hi ladies, I am Sad_angie. Forgot my email pwd and this forum pwd so open a new account.

Sigh, why are some men like that? It really makes me sad to know there are more and more ladies in the same predicament as me.

Anyway. Just an update. I have been reading articles on why men stray/have affairs/have one-night-stands etc and spying those dirty forums that men usually surf (including my husband). Knowing and understanding the possible reasons don't justify their unfaithful actions, but I have chosen to rebuild my trust in him. Like some of you above, I do love him still. For the past 2 weeks ever since I found out about his infidelity, he has used actions to prove that he is indeed with the family, with the kids and with me. He came home straight after work, never grumbled even when the kids were naughty (he used to grumble sometimes) and he has been nice and gentle to me. I know I said I can't bring myself to be intimate with him now, but I relented eventually. I want him to know that I can give him what other women can give, so he should not stray anymore. Checked his hp secretly. He really has deleted the slut's number and nope, he didn't save it under another name. Financially, I can support myself and 3 kids but ultimately, I don't want my kids to grow up in a single-parent family. I just pray and hope that he will remain faithful from now onwards.

@toblerone : Teacher, I have already read your thread on EMA. Wanted to ask you to look at my husband's ba zi to see if he will stray again but then, i am afraid to see the results (if he does stray again). So, I chose to be ignorant for now. Thanks for your concern.

On another note, it really makes me shudder to know that there are women out there who can be so cheap.....some do it to earn a living for their family, but why can't they choose another means of working??? Sigh.
 
what past is already past, instead of looking & drilling about the past, dont you think your focus should be in the future especially you are pregnant now?
so what you found out that ur husband complete the entire book of karma sutra with the slut? cheating is cheating regarding giving BJ, sex, 69, bondage, etc... so what if you tell your entire family + his entire family + maybe the whole entire world? does it appeased you? does it makes you let go of your anger and let you move on?

if doing all these stuffs, you are still as angry as ever means these are not what you want. you need to find the action needed for you to let go (forgive but not forget) and move on with your life. look at the positive side, your husband knows he did wrong, and be willing to do whatever that you want to make you feel that he is a changed man. how many men did that? you look thru the thread here, you can see other husbands just dun care about their family, wives or kids...

so how you going to make it work with him? for a relationship to work, you cannot expect all the hardwork to be done by husband only. he should be working on settling you, and make you feel secure again. but on your side, you also have to work with your emotional baggage to trust him again.

if you expect the entire thing to be blown over within months, it is impossible.. it will takes years for you to trust him again. and it will takes years for him to make you feel you are the special one again. But it is not impossible to have a happy family again, it will takes both of you alot of effort. so the bottomline are you willing to go thru it?
 
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Sad to hear another of such story but sometimes guy thinks with their bottom head instead of the upper head. Yes the lust and kick is there when the other party is "new" but sorry i have to say this a hole is a hole and have these guys consider the feeling of the other party espically the wife? May be to some modern couples switching partners or eating out once in a while is fine. But what if, yes what if, during one of such incident you got sick, or u got threaten and is an endless loop.

Guys and ladies dun give in to temptation for that 1 hour or few months of pleasure, the results are more devastating and hurts alot of people around both mentally and emotionally.

PS: i am not an angle but just a kia si guy
 
I am so sorry to hear about your case. As you have said, you must be devastated that despite doing all you can to please him, he still had an affair. I am sure you feel very hurt, angry, and confused. Take some time to calm down. I would like to share that I have known a friend that had worked hard from such a breaking point, and went on to have a very fulfilling relationship, marriage, and family. Of course, there will be anger, there will be calm, maybe even a phase of denying... but the most important part is acceptance, and forgive. Only after you have past this emotional stages, you can begin to heal. When you heal, your relationship can be better. It takes time, and a lot of trust. It is a journey that both of you must take together - but it can be done. hang in there... one step at a time.
 
So many women are facing the same infidelity issue . me too. my hubby cheated while I was in my 3rd trimester n I only found out when my baby turned 5 mths. We have been talking and trying to make the marriage work again. but I can feel deep down he's just too afraid to lose the baby n our house. I m in a dilemma now if I shd just file for divorce. My bro told me that most of his married friends cheat. isn't that depressing ? so why bother getting married at all when u cannot stay faithful?
 
sometime man also donno what they want.....sit him down ask him what he wants for the future....10 years down the road...put things into perspective for him good luck
 
Do a HIV Test. After this 3rd baby, don't give birth anymore. Closed shop. Make him closed his shop too. R u working? If u not working, find a job soon n leave the kids to him. Show him how independent u are. maybe visit a counsellor to pour it out..
 
Hi mummies. I just delivered my gal on last dec. is my 2nd child. All a long I know hubby needs to entertain customers. Last time he had went to night club with them before, and has stop go there for a long time already. Recently just found out he did went to night club again with his customers and suppliers, he did informed me he needs to entertain customer at its, but he never said is a night club. I know he won't go to bed with them as he find that they r 'dirty'.... But he will flirt around and touch them. No matter how, I just feel uncomfortable.

Actually before he woo me, already had a gf, when I found out, we r planning to get married already, i talked to the gal before and know that my hubby really intended to break up with her just couldn't bring it up end up both of us got hurt. I choose to forgive him and we got married finally. During 3rd or 4th years of our married life, I found out that he's involved himself in those 'office flirting love', which I heard quite common in office nowadays. And I got confront with the women, I was shocked as she's already married with 2 kids! She said there's really nothing between them except Sms only....

Again, I forgive my hubby. And he promise won't do that again.

But after few years, which is now he went to night club, I understand that sometimes has to entertain customers as he's in engineering sales, thus he has no choice, but I'm wondering, is it really 'no choice'? I don't understand why he always hurt me again and again with all kind of nonsense. Although I forgive him again this time, my heart still upset, wonder should I consider to leave him even though my kids still young.
 
Hi 3380
I can see myself in you..sigh..I hang on because the kids were so young..he was in sales in Tool n Die...n I'm fighting nw my divorce ..he already had now aThai n a child outside.

I'm fighting for myself n my kids ...he wanted me to transfer my share of the flat to him n nothing nothing for us...these kinda of man isn't worth a blink after all these years I strongly supported him financially. Car down payment I pay, maid I pay, pub I pay, groceries I pay, pocket $ i pay...so learn from my mistake.

Am now fighting also my maintenance for myself. Its a women charter law that hubby to maintain his wife.
Some m mummy may disagree.. No prob...it's right I intend to claim it.
God bless
 
Hi all, I think I belong here too. Hb suddenly wanted to divorce me citing he dun love me as a reason and we have 2 kids.. nw trying v hard to let go n move on with kids. .
 
Hi gladjo, my kids r 6 n 2.. I'm working. E hardest part is I still have to b on touch with him on kids matters. . I cannot heal at all..
 
Hi melody, yes i understand, divorce still have to see him or in touch with him for kids matters is damn sian. I think the same as u too. Sometimes, i feel they dun bother the kids is better, meet lesser or dun meet at all..but no choice, hes their father.
 
Nowadays men suka suka tell us want to divorce saying dun love us etc, really cannot stand. Anyway, let us all stay strong together. They will regret
 
Hi Melody... So there is a third party? What is the reason he gave? ...morale values hv eroded do badly ..
By the way, does he give u $ for Kids n yourself?

Will keep you in prayer
 
hi Melody.. I cm here cos mummies may encourage Divorce n too many input will confuse u. divorce should nv be the solution as it hurts the kids n yr kids are so so young.

I hv legal n police frens if all else to save the marriage fails I can help u link up.

So meantime, I suggest u go counselling.. My sis Christ methodist Church hv professional counsellor.. It's free n social services also hv this free service. Let me know if u Wanda try church counseling... I will help u.

Marriage takes 2 to work though it's the third party that comes in n destroy. So, hope u dun mind n seat down n carefully consider why he react this way n counseling will reveales even more depth.

Hope ur marriage can be save.... Sigh

God bless
 
melody_ said:
He claimed no 3rd party but I noe he's v close to a female coll whom he claimed to b close colleague.
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for me, i dun really care whether my ex did have someone or not because i'm not interested in getting alimony or single cents from him...
beginning he started to have less and less time with me, then after that i found out he called another his female colleague "dear". when i asked him, he say his office everyone call each other "dear" and "darling". i just told him if he dun stop all the nonsense, i will divorce him straight. i told him coz our HDB need 5yrs MOP, he has 2 years more to change. If not, i will not hesitate to end the marriage. meanwhile my cousin caught him with another girl shopping arnd. but i didn't make a fuss coz the deadline is 2 years...

after reach 2yrs deadline, no improvement and actually he got worse. i just told him i have already file divorce with my lawyer and told him my terms. though he got make a small fuss saying i didnt put in effort too, blah blah. i told him it doesn't matter because the marriage has failed and both of us dun even want to try at all, so what is the point? i told him i very independent and can live by myself, buy over his hdb shares, he no need to pay me alimony or any single cents. he agree and used my lawyer and we officially divorce within 6months.

i was quite skeptical about men, and dun think i will even have a serious relationship again. afterall my ex & i have been together for 11yrs and been thru quite alot too, but still end up failed. But i met my current bf, actually we are colleagues for sometime. he know my emotional baggage and he has his own too. i guess you really need someone to understand what you going thru, then you will accept him. he loves me alot, cherish me alot and put me in first priority. everyone who see us together, was saying how lucky i am now. even my boss ask me to faster marry him coz i not interested in marriage anymore. i still don't put 100% faith in him (but i do trust him 100%), coz i still believe only oneself will never give up on oneself and no one really own anyone a living.

i'm not asking you to divorce, but i think you have to move on. instead of thinking what makes him change, you shld start thinking what will makes him stay. prepare to forgive whatever he did and move on if you still want to be with him. but of course if you want to move on without him, you need to think where to find the strength to live with your kids and yourself. alot of women scare that no men will wants her after she divorce with kids. i can tell you is bullshit. i have several friends is divorced with kids, now they are attached or re-married. some of my friends' spouses also is divorced with kids. i can't say is normal but is common now.

but if u want to go vengeance path like u can't have him, so you must bankrupt him with alimony or watever and ruin his life because he ruin yours. then i don't know how to advise. for me, i always believe in letting go and move on. people make mistakes and that's what makes us human. you only live once so live happily :)
 
Hi.. agree that divorce should be last resort if have kids.

However if the man already say no love for u.. why hang on? Initially i hung on.. thinking i can change him to love back. . But its juz too hurting, isnt it? I always think back of what he says abt no love for me.. its so damaging and even hang on.. i find it so sad..
 
Dear Ladies, I am sad to hear all your stories but I did ask myself this. If my hb ever cheats on me, what will I do? I don't think I will divorce him (unless he wants to). Why? Cos that would be too EASY for him. I know I sound vengeful but who wouldn't be when someone cheats on you? In fact what I will do is I will stay on with him BUT I will make sure he spend all his $ on me! I will use his credit cards and buy all the branded bags I want and spend on all the Spa treatments I want and make sure he pay for all the kid enrichment classes and the household bills EVERYTHING.

Don't forget, when you divorce him, you only get a percentage of his $ via alimony. The rest he can still spend on himself and other b*tch. Why let them enjoy? Make sure you suck every single cent from him. And if you are working, keep your salary as savings for your own retirement.

My mother used to tell me, Men without $ won't cheat. Why? Because no other woman will be interested. Ok there may be some women who are ok if a man don't buy them anything but that's a minority.

Also, if I can't get his love anymore, I make sure I get his $. Why should I deprive myself?

I know this sounds very vengeful but I know of many friends who have divorced their husbands and they struggle to feed the kids and themselves. The alimony they get is barely enough and the ex-hb always find ways to 'escape' paying or quit his job so he don't have to pay. Because to him, divorce already why care?
 
@lavendards > Haha, I think we are the kind who gets MAD first instead of sad. Might not be good for our inner self in the long run lah, but I guess that's how the way some people are. >_<

This is just my 2 cents worth. I am sure everyone thinks / feels differently and every situation is unique.
 
Agree with you care bear...I rather fight my hubby for $$ to give my kids good education.. Though it may b long n exhausting but every ounce of effort is worth it ..rather let him splash in the slut ..other ppl called me vengeful but I call it wise cos those ppl aren't in my shoes. I'm fighting Maintenance, house n alimony all simultaneously.

But Melody, unless all avenues fail n his heart is totally harden ...then be prepare to fight n stand up for your kids n yourself. ... Don't go uncontested divorce just because everyone say is easy n quick n cheap. You will end up loosing more than u think. Think carefully. I can guide n share with you how to proceed.

God bless
 
Gladjo, I've agreed to let him go liao.. I nid to move on for my kids. . Am tired of hoping and thinking if he went out with other girls.. letting go is a form of 解脱for me. . We totally no contact each other nw.. He already dun treat me as wife from e moment he mentioned divorce..
 
That's good for you..but u hv to e strong...are u going easy way uncontested n let him Scott free while u struggle to maintain the kids ...or contested which may be long n costly?
 
Carebear2905 said:
@lavendards > Haha, I think we are the kind who gets MAD first instead of sad. Might not be good for our inner self in the long run lah, but I guess that's how the way some people are. >_<

This is just my 2 cents worth. I am sure everyone thinks / feels differently and every situation is unique.
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for me, i dun get mad or sad when i finally decide to divorce...i more like "ok lo, i give us 2yrs already..but still cannot and i need to move on with my life now instead of self pitying"
and thanks god, i did... if not i will never be as happy as now, having a partner who loves, adores and cherish me alot...

perhaps i'm always been independent emotionally & financially... so i still able to make a living for myself & 2 dogs...

even now i TTC with my current partner, and we not married yet. i told him if anytime i feel that we are not working out. i would take my baby (if by then have a baby) and just leave.. i no need anything from him if ever i want to detach my life from his life. just for him to know i wun fully rely on him, and my happiness is still number 1
 
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Hi Angie, my advice is don't get involved with another man just for "revenge". I know how devastating all these are especially when you've been deluded for so long. Stay strong and positive for your little ones.
 
Melody.. U hv to be rich to do what pixie does...am not rich, he drained me totally so that's why am fighting back..
God bless
 
gladjo said:
Melody.. U hv to be rich to do what pixie does...am not rich, he drained me totally so that's why am fighting back..
God bless
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u no need rich to be able to feed yourself in singapore.. LOL~
you just need to be financially smart and independent...
i live in hdb, got a normal office 9 to 6pm job, travel once in awhile, i believe i belong to average income earner in singapore according to http://stats.mom.gov.sg/Pages/Income-Summary-Table.aspx

perhaps since young, i was taught that i'm the only one responsible for myself, and no one owns me a living... hence if anything goes wrong, i always blame myself first. learn the lesson and move on. like i say, my happiness is always the most important and i only live once so i only got 1 shot at it

i mean if you want to live your life, find justice for yourself and fight for watever you feel that worth your time, go ahead.. you only live once, so just do whatever u think is worth.. . but like i say, being independent and able to feed yourself in singapore, you don't need to be rich. you just need a job *shrug*
 
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Cos you don't have kids to feed .u haven't the slightest idea how much it cost to bring up a child these days. Even with this economic down turn, finding a job at $4-5k isn't that easy with stiff competition from FT.
Then after that u hv to juggle the role of mum n dad n ... Provide you don't get call down to sch to meet the teacher for this n that plus keeping your fingers cross your kids dun get some weird virus n end up in hospital plus end of the year, some schools hv exchange progm n then ur end of the yr new sch books n uniform plus everyday recess $ plus ..it cost $ when u bring them out ... All these cost $$ .. With $4-5k...without finance fm him, Melody, you will be stretch.
 
gladjo said:
Cos you don't have kids to feed .u haven't the slightest idea how much it cost to bring up a child these days. Even with this economic down turn, finding a job at $4-5k isn't that easy with stiff competition from FT.
Then after that u hv to juggle the role of mum n dad n her ... Provide you don't get call down to sch to meet the teacher for this n that plus keeping you fingers cross your kids dun get some weird virus n end up in hospital plus end of the year, some schools hv exchange progm ... All these cost $$ .. With $4-5k...without finance fm him, Melody, you will be stretch.
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i dun have kids because i knew my ex wun be a good father.. so i guess that's a wise choice i made.. but then, you say i'm rich. i just clearing the air i'm not rich... i'm just an average wage earner.
like i say i trying to have a kid now with my partner, even without him, i believe i can take care of myself and my kid.. i always live below my means.. to me being with someone, having a kid with him, is not all about money. is more like happiness you know. is not like this guy can finance my living or my kids education so i be with him. i'm more like i can finance myself and my kid so i decide to have a child with my partner. so in case anything goes south, i can support myself and my kid. when my baby is born, i will get an education fund for him/her so in case i die or anything happen along the way, at least his/her education is secure.

it's just that our thinking is different. to me, i am the only who is the most dependent and can rely on 100%. and the only person can truly give me happiness is myself...like i say u need not to be rich to be able to live in sg, you just need to be financially smart and independent.

i mean is just like people questioning me how can you have a baby when you are not marry to your partner yet. i'm just like "huh? so you believe in marriage vows? death till apart this type of bullshit?"..and of course some people will "educate" me on alimony & child maintenance... but to me i just living my life as if today is the last, and live without regret and do what makes me happy. and also plan ahead in case i'm not dead tmr...
 
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Hi @sadangie,

I think you're very noble and brave to still stick with him till now. No matter what, always protect yourself first because only then you can fight for your kids. Take as much time as you need to think things through and never be afraid to ask for help if you need it. You're not alone in this! Stay strong!
 
No you are wrong.... You doesn't haven't slightest idea the financial n emotional strain to play the role of a mum n a dad at the same time to 2kds! I have been there, done that. I raised my 2 gals myself.

Not everyone is financially fortune as you. One shoe size dun fit all.
 
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gladjo said:
No you are wrong.... You doesn't haven't slightest idea the financial n emotional strain to play the role of a mum n a dad at the same time to 2kds!

Not everyone is financially fortune as you. One shoe size dun fit all.
Click to expand...

like what you said, one shoe size dun fit all...
what you cannot do, doesnt mean what other people cannot do...

if you think i must be a single mum to understand financial n emotional strain, then i dun... but personally i feel i understand because i have friends been there... and i have relatives been there.. now is 2015, there are alot of single mum and dad out there, in case you dont know...

i seen their kids from top in class to become a delinquent when their marriage falls apart... that's why i always question people "what do they really want for their happiness?" if you think having revenge and able to get every single cents back is your happiness then go for it. but what i'm saying is if people dun follow your path, doesn't mean they can't get by with 4K per month and will suffer every single day.

you can be judgmental and keep saying i'm wrong, so be it... to me, it doesn't really matters.. what matters is i didn't regret my decision about divorce my cheating ex without taking any single cent from him and buying his shares over. and now i'm happily with someone who genuinely cares about me. and there are other divorcees with kids happily living now without going thru all the additional suffering
 
You are so naive... U only here say...until you are walking in the fire then u know it's heat.

I hv seen fren n relatives in similar suitation... So that doesn't make me conclude they are doing fine...they are struggling behind close doors.
 
Give u an example... My sis live at Harvey close...good neighborhood n landed...do u know they eat the most cheap n simplest food? My MIL in tai keng gardens...good area..wealth ppl... My mil told me she her bungalow neighbour eating porridge n taoge for lunch n dinner!

U see the physical n conclude...u haven't the slightest idea how raising 2kids are a great challenged especially one is hyper. U haven't the been through pixie.
 
gladjo said:
You are so naive... U only here say...until you are walking in the fire then u know it's heat.

I hv seen fren n relatives in similar suitation... So that doesn't make me conclude they are doing fine...they are struggling behind close doors.
Click to expand...

gladjo said:
Give u an example... My sis live at Harvey close...good neighborhood n landed...do u know they eat the most cheap n simplest food? My MIL in tai keng gardens...good area..wealth ppl... My mil told me she her bungalow neighbour eating porridge n taoge for lunch n dinner!

U see the physical n conclude...u haven't the slightest idea how raising 2kids are a great challenged especially one is hyper. U haven't the been through pixie.
Click to expand...

i guess i'm not the one being naive...
like what i say, what you did not have doesn't mean other people also cannot have it...
i mean if you think every single mum with 2 kids will end up like you or have to end up like you, then so be it...
but the truth is not...

everyone is struggling to make a living.. everyone is struggling to live what they decide in life... that's life..
i have colleague who earn 2K per month, his wife not working coz need to look after 3 kids, is it hard? yes, it's hard but that's life...
not sure whether have you heard of "a packet of rice", i believe these are the ones who really living hard...

live in good neighborhood and landed, doesnt mean u eat abalone everyday... LOL~ my godparents stay at bukit timah landed property & have 1 Porsche, 1 BMW, 1 Mercz and 1 mini van (i think) ... they dun eat good food everyday... they just eat normal food like everyone does... my parents also live in landed property in jurong, they also eat porridge for dinner everyday now coz maid went back to manila for few weeks. and porridge is easy to cook and clean...

just be more open and you can see more... rich people don't really behave like rich people in drama and tv series... they are just like normal people.. doesnt mean you have rich parents, you have free things dropping from the sky.. i guess some does or tv is bluffing me... but since poly, i work for my own expenditures all the way till now. bought my first saving insurance at 17yrs old. start investing when i got my first job..like i say i brought up to be independent and financially smart..and among my friends, i'm like the poorest rich kid arnd... poor as in i really dun hv money to buy luxury stuffs.. rich just coz my parents live in landed..
 
I think Pixie is only sharing her personal experience with the ladies and she is coming from another perspective of being kind to herself. There is no need to keep on harpering on 'u don't understand. U r rich. U no kids that's y different.'

To be honest, what if one wins the case and still get nothing? Do not bank too much hopes on the useless man. I have a friend whose ex hubby purposely default monthly payment. Not because he has no money but he also want the woman to 'suffer' by making the poor woman going thru long mentally draining process to chase after the alimony. Poor woman. Does she deserve all this? No but the man wld rather declare bankrupt than to feed his own kids. Sigh.
 
The fact is there must b relevancy ...compare apple to apple not apple to pear.

We all all suffering... Suffering mummies here to help one another but not to give easy out n not to give physiological Theory ... That you hv to be financially independent.. Which mummy doesn't want that? N to be financially smart ? Who doest want that?

So if poor woman is already suffering, with no support fm hubby, don't u hv a heart to suggest a achievable way ? Then easy way out n suffer all by yourself much later? Once uncontested there is no turning back...u cant use woman's charter.

Are u a mummy with kids? In condo? Landed? Do you know how it feels when ur kids ask for recess $ n u hv to dig coins cos that man is outside too busy holding other women than to give u maintenance?

U think Singapore is Msia.. Declare bankrupt n disappeared? Hv u bn to court? Do u know why that's a Woman's Charter?
 
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When I was young and single, I have no qualms to pack my stuff and leave my ex even when we were on the verge of marriage.

I have a good job and could spend every single cent on myself, work late, late night drinking and holidaying without a care.

If there are no kids involved, I can happily leave a marriage too with no strings attached.

However being a mum myself and now with another on the way, I was told to leave the workplace and now fighting the maternity claim with my ex co.

Many working mothers and pregnant ladies are facing discrimination at the workplace. You could not stay as late as your single peers, u have to take leave to attend your child's graduation/birthday, sick leaves to attend to your sick children. You can't travel as much as you want because there are no caregivers and your kids need you.

You can't work on the weekend because your kids have enrichment classes and they need your accompany.

During all these time, I can't find a job due to my pregnancy and the expenditures are mounting with the medical expenses and the baby stuff. So far I have blasted tens of thousands of savings even with the support of my hub.

So i can understand the strain and the financial stress of the single mother very well.

I understand from the MOM and the union that a co can ask u to get lost at anytime they want to and with the increasing age, is especially hard to land a equally good job.

Even with dual income with both parents working, it is not easy to be a parent nowadays with high expenses and limited time.

Unless u are very free, very well off with a very solid financial background, the uncertainties down the future is still there.
 
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errr... financially independent and financially smart is not want or not.. is you must learn.. i dun think anyone is born to be financially smart and independent....

anyway if u think going thru all these procedures makes you happy and you will get the ending you want, just do it.. but just to let you know, there is other ways to get things done... there isn't 1 solution to 1 problem.. there's always a few solutions to 1 problem... other mummies have same situation as you, doesn't mean must follow your footstep then able to achieve happiness. of course doesn't mean must follow my footstep. most importantly they must know what they want in their lives, and doing whatever they want, will they be happy?

like "the packet of rice", there are alot of really poor people around but they still manage by themselves...money isn't everything, happiness is. but of course if no money makes you unhappy, then go for it...

for me, life is pretty simple.. as long as i got a job, i wun starve.. then plan for tmr in case i still alive (which high possibility i still alive).. and be happy and contented until my last breath... then again, i also hope to have a child soon.. tried for a yr, but still no good news :(
 


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