TTC after 3 or > failed Ivf attempts (fresh/FET)

ashley11

Active Member
Hi Gals,

I know there is an active thread for Ivf/icsi support group.
I'm starting a new thread and see if any of you would like to come forward to share your thoughts, feelings, fears and hopes after numerous failures.
I am a classic example of multiple failures if you have seen my post.

Here's the space for you to rant.
 


Hi Gals,

I know there is an active thread for Ivf/icsi support group.
I'm starting a new thread and see if any of you would like to come forward to share your thoughts, feelings, fears and hopes after numerous failures.
I am a classic example of multiple failures if you have seen my post.

Here's the space for you to rant.

Well it's heart breaking to know that u do ivf as a last last resort and still fail. I would roll eyes whenever I read ppl contribute their success to doing this n that. Nothing against them just that being in this journey long enough and having tried everything I know that egg quality is most impt than anything else. Sometimes is about timing too.
 
Well it's heart breaking to know that u do ivf as a last last resort and still fail. I would roll eyes whenever I read ppl contribute their success to doing this n that. Nothing against them just that being in this journey long enough and having tried everything I know that egg quality is most impt than anything else. Sometimes is about timing too.

I know.....
Dietary changes are a load of bullshit.
My sil hubby smokes n overweight but still had a shotgun child.
My hubby on the other hand runs marathon, exercise every other day, eats healthy n yet sperm no good.
Tell me, where is the rationale?
I know for the ladies, it's just eliminating the reasons for failure so if it gives them peace of mind, then by all means. Just like for me, I needed to try my own eggs enough times to move on; at least I know I tried hard enough.

During my Ivf days, I didn't even dare to post or share my status as I was worried that all will move on to be mummies ( before I had the adoption plan), leaving me alone.

I was terrified to be alone in this sense.

Lastly, as I said before, Ivf success rates are "over-rated".
 
Well to me..truthfully conceiving via ivf is nvr easy from start..

Some follows wat others do also nvr even succeed..like me..tried everything..back to square one...

Nowadays I read the thread silently on n off..;-)

For me.. I take it that it's their time to hv succeeded n hv a child..My time has yet to come...

I takes things more easy nowadays..Dun want to think so much n stress oneself..;-)

Thanks for having the thread.. Good for ranting n sharing..;-)
 
Well it's heart breaking to know that u do ivf as a last last resort and still fail. I would roll eyes whenever I read ppl contribute their success to doing this n that. Nothing against them just that being in this journey long enough and having tried everything I know that egg quality is most impt than anything else. Sometimes is about timing too.
I share your pain.. I myself have failed 2 ivf cycle.. have tried tcm, accuputure, coq10, follow the diet of 2ww etc for my 2nd cycle and doesn't seem to work. I am actually still nursing the pain of my 2nd cycle failure.. I would say this period is the most depressing period of my ttc. While I had tried to pick myself up from the failure and have thought of ways to prepare myself for the next cycle such as seeing a new tcm, more supplements and even shifting in with parents in law to be in a new environment, I had to deal with the news that my sister in law is preggy, baby will be taken care by my parents in law (though sister in law will not be staying there) and hence no room for us at my parents in law's place.. I felt very hurt and unwelcome, maybe becos I am not able to give them grandkids after being married for 6 yrs while my sister in law easily strike within a few months.
Sometimes i wonder if they appreciate that I had tried hard enough (they are aware that I had went for ivf twice). Will they even feel for us and our pain..
I had also thought of adopting a kid but after a chat with a fellow ivfer, she advise that I also check with my parents/parents in law to see if they are willing to look after an adopted child. Thinking of this set me back even further.. though we are willing to raise an adopted child as our own, we may still face alot of resistance from our own parents, moreover, they now will have their own grandkids to care for going forward..will they want to care for another which is not 'their own'? I am heart broken to know that we pretty much left with no options but could only hope our time will come soon. I really hope god can feel our sincerity and grant us our wishes.
Sorry for the long rant...I wishes all the sisters here all the best too and may we be blessed with kids soon.
 
I suppose in ivf as long as u can persevere one day u can suceed which is why some tried few times or many many times and finally made it. Sadly it's all about financial and emotional that keep us from pursuing. Having too much drugs in our body is also no good for long term. Not many ppl can have the means to keep on trying especially if u are low reserve. So there has to be a stop somewhere when u said enough is enough and find other means to your happiness.

I used to request from my dr this and that and any new things that came out I want to try. My dr have to tell me not all new things are good, sometimes the most basic is enough but Ofcourse I still insist to try and now I come to terms that yeah if your embryo quality no good or chromosome abnormal no matter what u do also won't implant. Having said that we all have a pool of eggs just need to find the right n good one which is not easy but is there just how long can u find it.
 
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I share your pain.. I myself have failed 2 ivf cycle.. have tried tcm, accuputure, coq10, follow the diet of 2ww etc for my 2nd cycle and doesn't seem to work. I am actually still nursing the pain of my 2nd cycle failure.. I would say this period is the most depressing period of my ttc. While I had tried to pick myself up from the failure and have thought of ways to prepare myself for the next cycle such as seeing a new tcm, more supplements and even shifting in with parents in law to be in a new environment, I had to deal with the news that my sister in law is preggy, baby will be taken care by my parents in law (though sister in law will not be staying there) and hence no room for us at my parents in law's place.. I felt very hurt and unwelcome, maybe becos I am not able to give them grandkids after being married for 6 yrs while my sister in law easily strike within a few months.
Sometimes i wonder if they appreciate that I had tried hard enough (they are aware that I had went for ivf twice). Will they even feel for us and our pain..
I had also thought of adopting a kid but after a chat with a fellow ivfer, she advise that I also check with my parents/parents in law to see if they are willing to look after an adopted child. Thinking of this set me back even further.. though we are willing to raise an adopted child as our own, we may still face alot of resistance from our own parents, moreover, they now will have their own grandkids to care for going forward..will they want to care for another which is not 'their own'? I am heart broken to know that we pretty much left with no options but could only hope our time will come soon. I really hope god can feel our sincerity and grant us our wishes.
Sorry for the long rant...I wishes all the sisters here all the best too and may we be blessed with kids soon.
I am sure they appreciate just that they are too excited n overwhelm by their new grandchild and did not think much of your feelings. Not many people can understand if they have not gone through the journey themselves. Don't be sad for too long. Move on and try again U never know next cycle maybe the one.

As for adoption, even if your parents cannot take care for u, u can always put your child in infant care. Even if it's your own child not all parents can help to take care. If u really want adoption just go for it.
 
I shared all your sentiments as I did my IVF in 2006 with 3 failed transfer. It was not just financially but also emotionally stressful. Myself and my hubby's siblings, we are the only ones married. I just started another ivf cycle with kkivf centre after hearing success stories from friends and colleagues doing at kk (I used to do in TMC in 06). I am now age 42, to try ivf again, there is no more medisave cos I used in 06 and no Co-funding from govt as I am above 40 but after discussion with hubby, he say just do what I want but he more worried that I will feel stressful. I can proudly share that we are still happily married for 15 years but I really do hope to have a kid if possible. Now after ET on 24/1, I am trying to relax during this 2ww. When I did in kkivf, there are so many patients and make me realise that I am not alone. When I am introduced to this forum, all have similar sentiments.
 
I am sure they appreciate just that they are too excited n overwhelm by their new grandchild and did not think much of your feelings. Not many people can understand if they have not gone through the journey themselves. Don't be sad for too long. Move on and try again U never know next cycle maybe the one.

As for adoption, even if your parents cannot take care for u, u can always put your child in infant care. Even if it's your own child not all parents can help to take care. If u really want adoption just go for it.
I am trying to move on.. just that we are hit by one thing and another which made me feel sad all over again.. I guess, only time can heal..
I think i may place adoption on hold till I am emotionally stable again as I am not sure how I can cope if I were to raise this to our family now and to receive either a pity or resistance response...I am quite sure I am willing to but it's juz a matter of timing.
Jumbo girl, care to share your stories? Will you be trying another cycle? I really hope that no one gives up and continues trying. I'm sure one day, heaven will be kind enough to give us something..
 
I shared all your sentiments as I did my IVF in 2006 with 3 failed transfer. It was not just financially but also emotionally stressful. Myself and my hubby's siblings, we are the only ones married. I just started another ivf cycle with kkivf centre after hearing success stories from friends and colleagues doing at kk (I used to do in TMC in 06). I am now age 42, to try ivf again, there is no more medisave cos I used in 06 and no Co-funding from govt as I am above 40 but after discussion with hubby, he say just do what I want but he more worried that I will feel stressful. I can proudly share that we are still happily married for 15 years but I really do hope to have a kid if possible. Now after ET on 24/1, I am trying to relax during this 2ww. When I did in kkivf, there are so many patients and make me realise that I am not alone. When I am introduced to this forum, all have similar sentiments.
Net73, I admire your courage and persistance for trying ivf again. I'm sure heaven will bless those who persist! Jia you and rest well in your 2ww. Really hope to grab your baby dust!
 
I share your pain.. I myself have failed 2 ivf cycle.. have tried tcm, accuputure, coq10, follow the diet of 2ww etc for my 2nd cycle and doesn't seem to work. I am actually still nursing the pain of my 2nd cycle failure.. I would say this period is the most depressing period of my ttc. While I had tried to pick myself up from the failure and have thought of ways to prepare myself for the next cycle such as seeing a new tcm, more supplements and even shifting in with parents in law to be in a new environment, I had to deal with the news that my sister in law is preggy, baby will be taken care by my parents in law (though sister in law will not be staying there) and hence no room for us at my parents in law's place.. I felt very hurt and unwelcome, maybe becos I am not able to give them grandkids after being married for 6 yrs while my sister in law easily strike within a few months.
Sometimes i wonder if they appreciate that I had tried hard enough (they are aware that I had went for ivf twice). Will they even feel for us and our pain..
I had also thought of adopting a kid but after a chat with a fellow ivfer, she advise that I also check with my parents/parents in law to see if they are willing to look after an adopted child. Thinking of this set me back even further.. though we are willing to raise an adopted child as our own, we may still face alot of resistance from our own parents, moreover, they now will have their own grandkids to care for going forward..will they want to care for another which is not 'their own'? I am heart broken to know that we pretty much left with no options but could only hope our time will come soon. I really hope god can feel our sincerity and grant us our wishes.
Sorry for the long rant...I wishes all the sisters here all the best too and may we be blessed with kids soon.

Hi @bbpooh81
I actually felt angry when I read your post.
Towards the situation of your in laws and adoption.
I can imagine the pain of hearing closed ones getting pregnant especially your sil who is affecting your plans. I totally "see no evil and hear no evil" when I was ttc, it's hard but u just have to focus on yourself.
May I know why would u want to shift in to ur in laws to hv a new environment? Isn't that more stressful.
My in laws were also unmoved by our umpteen tries, they cannot understand as they live in an era when kids come too easily.
Don't think too much abt adoption if u r not ready yet.
But I strongly believe once you bring the child home, you will treat her/him like your own. There is no such thing like my own or not my own.
When there is a will there is a way. If ur in laws do not want to care, send baby to infant care. You are much stronger than you think, you can manage on your own.
Take myself as example, I was so worried about taking care of newborn that I pre empted my mil to come over help every day but I'm glad to say, I stood up to caring for my baby full time and mil does not help in one little bit.
I am also not working and our household income is more than halved but we can still get by.
You can do it!!
 
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Well to me..truthfully conceiving via ivf is nvr easy from start..

Some follows wat others do also nvr even succeed..like me..tried everything..back to square one...

Nowadays I read the thread silently on n off..;-)

For me.. I take it that it's their time to hv succeeded n hv a child..My time has yet to come...

I takes things more easy nowadays..Dun want to think so much n stress oneself..;-)

Thanks for having the thread.. Good for ranting n sharing..;-)

Hi @bubbli26

Thanks for sharing.
Yes, our conscience is clear that we have already tried our best.
As my ex boss always say, efforts don't always equate to results so a lot of things are out of our control.

Feel free to chat whenever you wish.
 
I shared all your sentiments as I did my IVF in 2006 with 3 failed transfer. It was not just financially but also emotionally stressful. Myself and my hubby's siblings, we are the only ones married. I just started another ivf cycle with kkivf centre after hearing success stories from friends and colleagues doing at kk (I used to do in TMC in 06). I am now age 42, to try ivf again, there is no more medisave cos I used in 06 and no Co-funding from govt as I am above 40 but after discussion with hubby, he say just do what I want but he more worried that I will feel stressful. I can proudly share that we are still happily married for 15 years but I really do hope to have a kid if possible. Now after ET on 24/1, I am trying to relax during this 2ww. When I did in kkivf, there are so many patients and make me realise that I am not alone. When I am introduced to this forum, all have similar sentiments.

Hi @net73

Great to hear that you have picked up your courage to try once again!
Who's your fertility dr?
Yes, I always believe that the strongest relationship can withstand one of the toughest challenge I.e trying for a baby.
I am married for coming 14 years too and had each other through the darkest times.

Take care and keep us posted!
 
I am with dr Sadhana cos my friends and colleagues conceived successfully thru her and recommended me. But the diff between govt and private hospitals is that in kk...u will see her for consultation, endo scratch, ER & ET. The scan and reporting is by another team. In pte hospital. ..all by the same Dr.
 
Hi @bbpooh81
I actually felt angry when I read your post.
Towards the situation of your in laws and adoption.
I can imagine the pain of hearing closed ones getting pregnant especially your sil who is affecting your plans. I totally "see no evil and hear no evil" when I was ttc, it's hard but u just have to focus on yourself.
May I know why would u want to shift in to ur in laws to hv a new environment? Isn't that more stressful.
My in laws were also unmoved by our umpteen tries, they cannot understand as they live in an era when kids come too easily.
Don't think too much abt adoption if u r not ready yet.
But I strongly believe once you bring the child home, you will treat her/him like your own. There is no such thing like my own or not my own.
When there is a will there is a way. If ur in laws do not want to care, send baby to infant care. You are much stronger than you think, you can manage on your own.
Take myself as example, I was so worried about taking care of newborn that I pre empted my mil to come over help every day but I'm glad to say, I stood up to caring for my baby full time and mil does not help in one little bit.
I am also not working and our household income is more than halved but we can still get by.
You can do it!!
We have been staying together for the past 9 years.. slowly feel that it's really boring that it's just me & him all the time.. so we thought maybe we shift in with his parents. Also maybe due to my background where I have 3 siblings and me being the youngest hence I prefer to stay with a big family. I of cos prefer to stay with my parents but my eldest sis and her 2 kids are with them so no space for us too. We have been targeting to shift into my parents in law place since 2 yrs ago but his eldest brother is not married yet and haven gotten his own flat. Now that he has his own place and fully moved out in Dec, we received news that his wife is pregnant.. we can't shift in...
For them to reject us, i would think it's the most rational decision.. its own kids vs own grandkids mah...but I juz can't help feeling sad for myself... besides having to cope with the ivf failure, still have to put up a front that everything is fine. Hubby also couldn't understand why I am so emotional about it. He is the happy go lucky kind, he doesn't really care abt pursing sth that he wants but juz leave things at it is.. I felt quite frustrating talking to him abt ttc...
Ashley11, you are really very strong and I admire your determination towards ttc-ing. To me, a child is really a god's gift. While we try to find explanation on why ivf still doesn't work, yet we hear successful stories from pple whose embryo is just of average quality and managed to bfp. Ttc-ing is really an abstract art.. jia you all!!
 
I am with dr Sadhana cos my friends and colleagues conceived successfully thru her and recommended me. But the diff between govt and private hospitals is that in kk...u will see her for consultation, endo scratch, ER & ET. The scan and reporting is by another team. In pte hospital. ..all by the same Dr.
Hi @net73

You are in good hands, dr sad is a gentle and sensitive dr.
I did one fresh with her.
I've been too used to govt hospital style so don't mind scan n report by another team.
I do not think that will affect the outcome.

Good luck n may ur embies stick well!!
 
We have been staying together for the past 9 years.. slowly feel that it's really boring that it's just me & him all the time.. so we thought maybe we shift in with his parents. Also maybe due to my background where I have 3 siblings and me being the youngest hence I prefer to stay with a big family. I of cos prefer to stay with my parents but my eldest sis and her 2 kids are with them so no space for us too. We have been targeting to shift into my parents in law place since 2 yrs ago but his eldest brother is not married yet and haven gotten his own flat. Now that he has his own place and fully moved out in Dec, we received news that his wife is pregnant.. we can't shift in...
For them to reject us, i would think it's the most rational decision.. its own kids vs own grandkids mah...but I juz can't help feeling sad for myself... besides having to cope with the ivf failure, still have to put up a front that everything is fine. Hubby also couldn't understand why I am so emotional about it. He is the happy go lucky kind, he doesn't really care abt pursing sth that he wants but juz leave things at it is.. I felt quite frustrating talking to him abt ttc...
Ashley11, you are really very strong and I admire your determination towards ttc-ing. To me, a child is really a god's gift. While we try to find explanation on why ivf still doesn't work, yet we hear successful stories from pple whose embryo is just of average quality and managed to bfp. Ttc-ing is really an abstract art.. jia you all!!

@bbpooh81
Actually you should feel consoled that ur hubby is happy go lucky type, just like my hubby.
If both of u stressed n depressed, much worse and who to cheer u up?
Are you 34 this year?
Do you plan to review your last cycle with the dr? Or taking it easy for now?
Do keep us posted.
 
Bbpooh. .
Without baby but a happy marriage, must treasure. Dun have the added pressure and emotions to spoil the marriage. I used to tell my hub to tell my mil that it's not that I dun want kid but difficult to have. I do not want my mil to ask me then I replied nastily which is not nice. There are many divorces of those with kids. Before I tried ivf again, told my hub that without kid, can have early retirement and travel around the world. Dun stress yourself.
 
@bbpooh81
Actually you should feel consoled that ur hubby is happy go lucky type, just like my hubby.
If both of u stressed n depressed, much worse and who to cheer u up?
Are you 34 this year?
Do you plan to review your last cycle with the dr? Or taking it easy for now?
Do keep us posted.
Yup, 34 this year. Reviewing my last cycle with dr yu this coming Friday and will be planning for my next cycle.. in the meantime, taking lots of supplement and gg for tcm at raffles hospital.
 
Yup, 34 this year. Reviewing my last cycle with dr yu this coming Friday and will be planning for my next cycle.. in the meantime, taking lots of supplement and gg for tcm at raffles hospital.

My personal advice is to see another fertility dr on second opinion on protocol, drugs, meds etc before embarking on your next cycle. Don't rush into the next one. No harm hearing other professionals advice.
 
My personal advice is to see another fertility dr on second opinion on protocol, drugs, meds etc before embarking on your next cycle. Don't rush into the next one. No harm hearing other professionals advice.
Yup, thanks. I will see how it goes after my meeting with dr yu. But dr yu has already tried a different protocol this time round.. I really wonder if it's the lab issue.
 
Yup, thanks. I will see how it goes after my meeting with dr yu. But dr yu has already tried a different protocol this time round.. I really wonder if it's the lab issue.

@bbpooh81
If your heart is concerned and suspicious of the lab, isn't it better to try a new lab and see the outcome.
If it's positive, you can either credit it to better eggs/lab but if
Negative (touchwood), at least you won't think its a lab issue.
 
Went to see Dr yu today for post failure review and the comment she had was she has already done everything she could for me. There is nothing else she could do to improve my condition. I was very sad. Doc is giving up on me. Will have to source for another..
 
I share your pain.. I myself have failed 2 ivf cycle.. have tried tcm, accuputure, coq10, follow the diet of 2ww etc for my 2nd cycle and doesn't seem to work. I am actually still nursing the pain of my 2nd cycle failure.. I would say this period is the most depressing period of my ttc. While I had tried to pick myself up from the failure and have thought of ways to prepare myself for the next cycle such as seeing a new tcm, more supplements and even shifting in with parents in law to be in a new environment, I had to deal with the news that my sister in law is preggy, baby will be taken care by my parents in law (though sister in law will not be staying there) and hence no room for us at my parents in law's place.. I felt very hurt and unwelcome, maybe becos I am not able to give them grandkids after being married for 6 yrs while my sister in law easily strike within a few months.
Sometimes i wonder if they appreciate that I had tried hard enough (they are aware that I had went for ivf twice). Will they even feel for us and our pain..
I had also thought of adopting a kid but after a chat with a fellow ivfer, she advise that I also check with my parents/parents in law to see if they are willing to look after an adopted child. Thinking of this set me back even further.. though we are willing to raise an adopted child as our own, we may still face alot of resistance from our own parents, moreover, they now will have their own grandkids to care for going forward..will they want to care for another which is not 'their own'? I am heart broken to know that we pretty much left with no options but could only hope our time will come soon. I really hope god can feel our sincerity and grant us our wishes.
Sorry for the long rant...I wishes all the sisters here all the best too and may we be blessed with kids soon.

hi @bbpooh81 you reminded me of many years back when I was struggling with TTC and depression, when I received news that my brother-in-law was having a shotgun wedding with the girlfriend. I'm happy for them and all that, but it was stressful as a barren daughter-in-law after 4 years of marriage then... We were on holiday then and I cried and cried in the hotel room, nowhere to hide my unhappiness. My helpless husband not able to console me and not understanding why I was putting so much stress on myself and him...

I also wished to stay with my parents-in-law after marriage but there was the single brother-in-law at home. Upon his shotgun, all the more we can't move in. However, seeing my brother-in-law and his wife struggle with living under-one-roof with in-laws, I consider myself fortunate that we didn't get into this "trap". It's not easy living together with parents-in-law, and my in-laws are already very nice and liberal. The above said brother/sis-in-law moved out after a series of unhappy incidents when my in-laws were on holiday and the tension remains after a year of moving out.
 
Went to see Dr yu today for post failure review and the comment she had was she has already done everything she could for me. There is nothing else she could do to improve my condition. I was very sad. Doc is giving up on me. Will have to source for another..

@bbpooh81
It is quite rare for drs to give up on patients. I'm shocked to hear that from you after two failed attempts.
Do not be sad, there are plenty of drs out there who are willing to help you.
If u are still planning to see dr from public hospital, the two top choices for me would be dr tan HH from kkh n prof wong PC from Nuh.
I did not conceive under either of them.
My impression of both
Dr tan - confident, friendly, reassuring, high eq. He delivered my baby under emerg c sec with severe pre eclampsia complication
Prof wong- met him only once, he seems confident and apparently helped quite a few Ivf patients conceive.
 
hi @bbpooh81 you reminded me of many years back when I was struggling with TTC and depression, when I received news that my brother-in-law was having a shotgun wedding with the girlfriend. I'm happy for them and all that, but it was stressful as a barren daughter-in-law after 4 years of marriage then... We were on holiday then and I cried and cried in the hotel room, nowhere to hide my unhappiness. My helpless husband not able to console me and not understanding why I was putting so much stress on myself and him...

I also wished to stay with my parents-in-law after marriage but there was the single brother-in-law at home. Upon his shotgun, all the more we can't move in. However, seeing my brother-in-law and his wife struggle with living under-one-roof with in-laws, I consider myself fortunate that we didn't get into this "trap". It's not easy living together with parents-in-law, and my in-laws are already very nice and liberal. The above said brother/sis-in-law moved out after a series of unhappy incidents when my in-laws were on holiday and the tension remains after a year of moving out.

Too much stress on yourself @bunnymuimui
I was barren for 13 years!
Actually I shudder at the thought of staying with in laws though I'm on gd terms with them.
相见好,相处难。
 
@bbpooh81
It is quite rare for drs to give up on patients. I'm shocked to hear that from you after two failed attempts.
Do not be sad, there are plenty of drs out there who are willing to help you.
If u are still planning to see dr from public hospital, the two top choices for me would be dr tan HH from kkh n prof wong PC from Nuh.
I did not conceive under either of them.
My impression of both
Dr tan - confident, friendly, reassuring, high eq. He delivered my baby under emerg c sec with severe pre eclampsia complication
Prof wong- met him only once, he seems confident and apparently helped quite a few Ivf patients conceive.
Thanks Ashley11. Yup, I was also very shocked when i heard that. I think her nurse is also v sad for me as I can see from her face. I did not breakdown in front of dr yu but couldn't control myself after I left the room. When a doc give up on you, it felt like a death sentence to me..Thanks for the recommendation, I do know that nuh is gd but its too far for me as i stayed in sengkang. Most likely, I will try kkh. Any gd docs to recommend in kkh who will try different solutions to succeed?
 
hi @bbpooh81 you reminded me of many years back when I was struggling with TTC and depression, when I received news that my brother-in-law was having a shotgun wedding with the girlfriend. I'm happy for them and all that, but it was stressful as a barren daughter-in-law after 4 years of marriage then... We were on holiday then and I cried and cried in the hotel room, nowhere to hide my unhappiness. My helpless husband not able to console me and not understanding why I was putting so much stress on myself and him...

I also wished to stay with my parents-in-law after marriage but there was the single brother-in-law at home. Upon his shotgun, all the more we can't move in. However, seeing my brother-in-law and his wife struggle with living under-one-roof with in-laws, I consider myself fortunate that we didn't get into this "trap". It's not easy living together with parents-in-law, and my in-laws are already very nice and liberal. The above said brother/sis-in-law moved out after a series of unhappy incidents when my in-laws were on holiday and the tension remains after a year of moving out.
Thanks. It might be a blessing in disguise for us afterall..actually my brother and sister in law will not be staying with them, just a day care centre for the baby with my parents in law.. I have kind of discarded the idea of staying with them.. anyway, of cos they prefer grandkids over us..
 
Thanks Ashley11. Yup, I was also very shocked when i heard that. I think her nurse is also v sad for me as I can see from her face. I did not breakdown in front of dr yu but couldn't control myself after I left the room. When a doc give up on you, it felt like a death sentence to me..Thanks for the recommendation, I do know that nuh is gd but its too far for me as i stayed in sengkang. Most likely, I will try kkh. Any gd docs to recommend in kkh who will try different solutions to succeed?

Hey @bbpooh81
Reckon you tried saizen the growth hormone since it's dr yus pioneer research subject?
She recommended to me when I consulted her.
I also consumed coq10 for a while but didn't work on me. I think there's only so much supplements can do.
Well as said, I would recommend dr tan. I hv tried dr sadhana too but I prefer dr tan.
Jia you!!!
 
Hey @bbpooh81
Reckon you tried saizen the growth hormone since it's dr yus pioneer research subject?
She recommended to me when I consulted her.
I also consumed coq10 for a while but didn't work on me. I think there's only so much supplements can do.
Well as said, I would recommend dr tan. I hv tried dr sadhana too but I prefer dr tan.
Jia you!!!
Yup, I tried saizen for my last cycle. Have you tried dhea? I am currently taking it..plus several other supplements. You also consulted dr yu? what did she say? Thanks for the above.
 
Yup, I tried saizen for my last cycle. Have you tried dhea? I am currently taking it..plus several other supplements. You also consulted dr yu? what did she say? Thanks for the above.

@bbpooh81
No I didn't do dhea or intralipid infusion.
I tried embryogen to culture embryo till transfer but didn't work as eggs were no good to start with.
Dr Yu did ask me to try saizen n embryogen but in the end I didn't go to her as I already finished my 3x subsidy and the Un-subsidized cost is higher than the Msia clinic I eventually did with.
Embryogen was done with the Msia clinic and it was about 30percent cheaper than sg
My Msia cycle didn't work as well so I ended up doing donor egg in Bangkok.
 
@bbpooh81
No I didn't do dhea or intralipid infusion.
I tried embryogen to culture embryo till transfer but didn't work as eggs were no good to start with.
Dr Yu did ask me to try saizen n embryogen but in the end I didn't go to her as I already finished my 3x subsidy and the Un-subsidized cost is higher than the Msia clinic I eventually did with.
Embryogen was done with the Msia clinic and it was about 30percent cheaper than sg
My Msia cycle didn't work as well so I ended up doing donor egg in Bangkok.
Yup, I understand sgh is the most expensive of all public hospital.. and if unsubsidised, i heard its cost won't be too far off from private too.
 
Hi Gals,

I know there is an active thread for Ivf/icsi support group.
I'm starting a new thread and see if any of you would like to come forward to share your thoughts, feelings, fears and hopes after numerous failures.
I am a classic example of multiple failures if you have seen my post.

Here's the space for you to rant.

Hi @ashley11, thanks for creating this thread! Sorry to say but at least i don't feel so alone. I've failed 7 iui/so-iuis, 1 fresh and 1 natural fet IVF cycles so far. I really dunno what went wrong. Everything seems fine. Embryos, lining etc but just get that dreaded BFN every time. So much so that I've learnt to take it easy that when I received the call from the nurse informing me the bad news, I'll be all ok and life goes on. I dun even shed a single tear now. Anyway, I'll be going for my 2nd fresh in March. The agreement between me & DH is that we will zap up the govt grant for 3 fresh 3 frozen and if by then still no child of our own, we will leave it as it is. After all the failures, I see things a bit differently in the sense that life is not all about TCM, IVF etc.
 
Hi @ashley11, thanks for creating this thread! Sorry to say but at least i don't feel so alone. I've failed 7 iui/so-iuis, 1 fresh and 1 natural fet IVF cycles so far. I really dunno what went wrong. Everything seems fine. Embryos, lining etc but just get that dreaded BFN every time. So much so that I've learnt to take it easy that when I received the call from the nurse informing me the bad news, I'll be all ok and life goes on. I dun even shed a single tear now. Anyway, I'll be going for my 2nd fresh in March. The agreement between me & DH is that we will zap up the govt grant for 3 fresh 3 frozen and if by then still no child of our own, we will leave it as it is. After all the failures, I see things a bit differently in the sense that life is not all about TCM, IVF etc.

@milogal88
Thanks for popping in!
You are sounding positive despite your tough journey.
I heard that iui success is pretty low so I headed straight to Ivf with drs advice.
You still stand a chance since you have tried only one fresh!
Keep your spirits up and who knows you might get lucky the next time.
 
Hi @ashley11, thanks for creating this thread! Sorry to say but at least i don't feel so alone. I've failed 7 iui/so-iuis, 1 fresh and 1 natural fet IVF cycles so far. I really dunno what went wrong. Everything seems fine. Embryos, lining etc but just get that dreaded BFN every time. So much so that I've learnt to take it easy that when I received the call from the nurse informing me the bad news, I'll be all ok and life goes on. I dun even shed a single tear now. Anyway, I'll be going for my 2nd fresh in March. The agreement between me & DH is that we will zap up the govt grant for 3 fresh 3 frozen and if by then still no child of our own, we will leave it as it is. After all the failures, I see things a bit differently in the sense that life is not all about TCM, IVF etc.
Milogal, when I did ivf in 06, was busy with work and many late nights so it may be the embryo quality that's why I failed the 3 transfers.
I set to do ivf in Sep 14 when I really prep myself like to sleep by 11pm, eat Chinese med, no more alcohol, cold drinks and wear slippers at home. I told myself since this is my last try as I am age 42 with no govt subsidy....I just hope it's successful. I told myself with these prep and if not successful, I tried my best. I was lucky to meet a good doc who recommended endo scratch and a day 4 transfer (I have 6 embryo on day 2 then doc suggested to transfer 2 days later so will transfer the better ones) with 3 embryos. So stay positive.
 
I am 43 in a month's time. Failed 2 fresh ivf and the 3rd transfer of frozen (all in 2014) was aborted because my thawed embies didn't grow.

Not doing anything drastic now. Take it easy, except for seeing a new sinseh next month
 
Milogal, when I did ivf in 06, was busy with work and many late nights so it may be the embryo quality that's why I failed the 3 transfers.
I set to do ivf in Sep 14 when I really prep myself like to sleep by 11pm, eat Chinese med, no more alcohol, cold drinks and wear slippers at home. I told myself since this is my last try as I am age 42 with no govt subsidy....I just hope it's successful. I told myself with these prep and if not successful, I tried my best. I was lucky to meet a good doc who recommended endo scratch and a day 4 transfer (I have 6 embryo on day 2 then doc suggested to transfer 2 days later so will transfer the better ones) with 3 embryos. So stay positive.


I suddenly realised having sufficient rest is really v essential for a successful ivf
 
I agree ttc77. Rest is a phase where the body repairs and recharges our organs. My last sinseh told me one of the most important organs is our kidneys. And kidneys really affect many functions of our body. And when we don't have enough sleep or nutrients or say stress, our kidney is one of the first to suffer. So it is not hard to imagine if we don't have enough sleep, our kidneys get weaken.
 
Milogal, when I did ivf in 06, was busy with work and many late nights so it may be the embryo quality that's why I failed the 3 transfers.
I set to do ivf in Sep 14 when I really prep myself like to sleep by 11pm, eat Chinese med, no more alcohol, cold drinks and wear slippers at home. I told myself since this is my last try as I am age 42 with no govt subsidy....I just hope it's successful. I told myself with these prep and if not successful, I tried my best. I was lucky to meet a good doc who recommended endo scratch and a day 4 transfer (I have 6 embryo on day 2 then doc suggested to transfer 2 days later so will transfer the better ones) with 3 embryos. So stay positive.

hi @net73, congrats on your good news. What happened in 06-14? Tried naturally? Tried overseas?
 
hi @net73, congrats on your good news. What happened in 06-14? Tried naturally? Tried overseas?
After failing 3 transfers in 06, I gave up the idea of getting pregnant as thinking that I tried but fated not to have. It was both emotionally and financially taxing as there was no govt subsidy but only allowed to use medisave. Then in 14, I had colleague and friend who succeeded ivf in KK and also with the success story the getai singer - 刘玲玲 who gave birth thru ivf at age 50, where I started the ivf journey again thru all the checks in Sep 14.
Of course this with some consideration and discussions with hubby due to our age. Besides financial stability (no medisave to use or govt subsidy), there will be family support as I will be staying with MIL in 15 who is still healthy to take care of bb. That's the reason I tried ivf again and started to prep myself in Sep 14 onwards.
 
After failing 3 transfers in 06, I gave up the idea of getting pregnant as thinking that I tried but fated not to have. It was both emotionally and financially taxing as there was no govt subsidy but only allowed to use medisave. Then in 14, I had colleague and friend who succeeded ivf in KK and also with the success story the getai singer - 刘玲玲 who gave birth thru ivf at age 50, where I started the ivf journey again thru all the checks in Sep 14.
Of course this with some consideration and discussions with hubby due to our age. Besides financial stability (no medisave to use or govt subsidy), there will be family support as I will be staying with MIL in 15 who is still healthy to take care of bb. That's the reason I tried ivf again and started to prep myself in Sep 14 onwards.

2014 is your year :) Brave lady, all the best on your motherhood journey.
 
Milogal, when I did ivf in 06, was busy with work and many late nights so it may be the embryo quality that's why I failed the 3 transfers.
I set to do ivf in Sep 14 when I really prep myself like to sleep by 11pm, eat Chinese med, no more alcohol, cold drinks and wear slippers at home. I told myself since this is my last try as I am age 42 with no govt subsidy....I just hope it's successful. I told myself with these prep and if not successful, I tried my best. I was lucky to meet a good doc who recommended endo scratch and a day 4 transfer (I have 6 embryo on day 2 then doc suggested to transfer 2 days later so will transfer the better ones) with 3 embryos. So stay positive.
@net73: Were u working when u tried in Sep14?
 
I have been working. Sep 14 , I prep by sleeping early, no alcohol, took TCM and did acupuncture so to hope for good embryo quality. At my age of 42, to have 15 eggs and 6 embryos considered not bad.
Yes indeed that is a very good result. I should start taking good care of my body like you did :) I think there might be quality issues with my embryos as they just stopped growing at some stage after implantation.

Kudos to you for not giving up and congrats on your success! You have inspired me like how you have been inspired by others before :) Enjoy your motherhood!
 
I m also 42 and both my ER yielded 16-18 eggs. Fertilized eggs also not too bad. However I also didn't get bfp. So to me, all these "nice" numbers don't mean much because all it is needed is QUALITY and TIMING.

those who don't yield enough numbers, please don't be discourage. You just need one good egg and sperm to do the trick; of course luck too.
 
I m also 42 and both my ER yielded 16-18 eggs. Fertilized eggs also not too bad. However I also didn't get bfp. So to me, all these "nice" numbers don't mean much because all it is needed is QUALITY and TIMING.

those who don't yield enough numbers, please don't be discourage. You just need one good egg and sperm to do the trick; of course luck too.
When I tried in 06, I have 23 eggs and 8 embryos but all transfers failed. This time round I prep thru TCM, acupuncture, no cold stuff to keep the womb warm....so it may help.
 
Glad to see this thread. I am a recurrent IVF failure too. Been over 3 fresh cycles and over 3 fets till now no more grants no more medisave whatsoever. Worse is my doctor is hinting to me to give up. Really sad especially when the one who can help (doctor) wont anymore. Really must give up? :( :( :(
 


There are few other avenues to help you on your ttc. It is a matter of whether you're ready to accept “unconventional" methods. For me, I have given up ivf surely.

How old are you and what did the doc say about your condition? One doc has given up on you doesn't mean other docs are though.
 

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