In a dilemma!!! Divorce, Flat,Custody & Maintenance - Need advice

jokergerl

Member
Hi forummers,

Im in a dilemma abt some issues thus need ur advice.

We have been married for abt 4 yrs plus and been together 6 years. We got married at 19 & my son was born a year later in 2011. All along during our dating before marriage, my then bf wasnt violent & was with me throughout our difficult times with both parent sides objection.

All along I had been working & going thru shit problems caused by him & my parents whom were not supportive in terms of moral support & also the welfare of my son. Towards a year into marriage, we had alws problems with money especially when he's soo stubborn to change & upgrade himself or his job. He prefers getting daily pay w/o cpf contributions as its high paying since he works in oil rig industry. Despite all the motivation I gave him, he was persistent not to change & instead became worse over the years till he started to meddle with drugs & alcohol.

Talking abt violence, my son was abt 8 mths old, he punched me & caused a scar above my cheek bone. Even then, I didnt pursue the matter & thought we could salvage this marriage. When my son was abt 1.5 yrs old, he came to my old workplace , dragged me out & kicked me & punched me till i had bruises. This time my father called the police & even then i felt pity fr him to not have any black record. But he was hauled to court & served with a fine for spousal abuse. I was then told to get a PPO. Den again reluctant , i dropped the idea. Each time when i wanted to seek marriage counselling, he didnt want to go for it but each time he would say to talk things out.
Since the birth of my son, we never stayed with each other since he couldnt get along w my parents & I was reluctant to move into my FILs place after my BIL committed suicide. Soo we stayed apart & applied for a BTO in 2011. In terms of cpf contribution, I had more & he had none. Since I was below 21, he was the 1st applicant & eventually I change my self as the 2nd applicant, however, he had gotten the $40k grant w/h govt gives fr 1st time owners. Intially I wanted to change myself to be 1st owner thinking that in future if we were to split, I could get more $% share den him but the hdb officer said this is a joint application thus it will be fair. Soo I dropped the idea.

While waiting for the bto to be completed, I moved out twice out my parents place & rented frm open market w him & my son, even then I had to alws pay fr the rent,settle my son's expenses & mine. During that time, I was in retail line thus long hrs. Since my parents couldn't cooperate despite giving them allowance of $500 to tc of my son & my hubby irregular hrs, I quited my job of 3.5 yrs & looked for office hrs so that I could tc of my son. For the 9 mths I stayed with him, I realise he became lazy & kept depending me to do everything even laundry while he sleeps, drinks, relax. I couldnt keep quiet & again he raised his hand on me by kicking & punching me which happened last yr in july.

I didnt tell my parents abt this & just told them since our flat was due to complete in july this yr, I had to save up money. Soo I moved back.. During this period, he started to drink heavily & visited transsexual prostitutes which I only managed to find out this year after my brother told me. I completely broke down when he confessed. Despite all the shit he gave me, I couldn't accept it & he begged for forgiveness. I decided to give him another chance.. slowly we were told to reapply for our 2nd hle this yr april. He wasnt that stable & still I kept pushing him to get a job. He didn't instead he just paid $700 to a company for his cpf contribution for abt 6 mths so that he could apply for a reno loan. During this time, I keep footing all the expenses depsite changing my job in May & a pay cut of $800.

We got the hse keys in August & applied for joint reno loan. Again, the a/c was opened under my name & I had to pay for him. He told me that he will need my help to pay the loans for few mths while he settled buying fixtures & fittings for the new home. His cpf contribution stopped since he couldnt pay.. den again , I serviced both the hdb & reno loan while managing son expenses. He hadnt really given anything much I would say for us & even the hse. While reno was on going, we had a big quarrel in late sept w/h I went to court to apply for PPO. When I was granted the expedited PPO, he barged into my parents hse & whacked me till I had to go for stitches. During this time, only my son was arnd & he witnessed this bloody incident. He became traumatised & alws wanted me arnd..

Eventually I was granted PPO for 6 mths. My parents urged me to file for a divorce but even then I told myself lets try for the last time to salvage this marriage since we just got our new home. This proved me wrong. I went to stay w him & my son for 1 mth plus at my FILs place . All along he was ok, no drinking & went to work regularly. But abt 3 weeks back, I caught him using tango & chatting w random girls. I had questioned him & he gave a excuse. Ok fine, I was waiting for him to be back home to iron things out.. But, he started to become hysterical & mentally tortured me claming that I was sleeping around & cheating on his back... He started to say My facebook was a big issue followed by Whatsapp & Instagram. But there wasnt anything wrong I did.. im not sure if he was on drugs to make him have strange imaginations or if he has schizophrenia. For abt 3 days, I suffered his words & action whereby he ransacked my stuff to prove that i was cheating on him..

On monday, when I was abt to go to work, he started to behave strangely & forbided me frm going work. I called my BIL fr help & thats when my hubby turned violent & punched my on my mouth causing a big hole inside my lips. This was the last time, I packed & left to my parents place back... he was arrested after 2 days for breach of PPO & Currently out on bail. I have not answered his calls nor his msgs.

Ive just consulted my father's friend whom is a lawyer to serve the divorce papers to him. Told me it will caused me $3k. My reno just ended a mth ago.
Few questions,I would like to know :
-will hdb retain back the flat & compensate us?
-can I keep the flat if ive the custody of my child but my husband refuse to transfer the ownership to me?
-can I skipped the mediation with my him?
-hw long does it take for the divorce to end?

Thanks for reading.
 


firstly> 40K grant is not FOC.. when you sell the flat, you have to pay HDB back
-will hdb retain back the flat & compensate us? > Must meet 5yrs MOP. If not, HDB take back the HDB and pays u back what you pay them.
-can I keep the flat if ive the custody of my child but my husband refuse to transfer the ownership to me? > you cannot keep the flat, but if you want it you can buy back his shares. prepare to have the sum of money
-can I skipped the mediation with my him? > yes, since you already have PPO
-hw long does it take for the divorce to end? > non-contested 6months.. in your case should be contested, not sure how long it will drags
 
Hi...hmm u gotta change that user name, it's hmm...like a joke... Anyway joke aside..3k is minimum hor... If ur divorce drag it well cost u more.. Why dun u try legal aid? I'm not sure abt the flat but pixie is right abt MOP however, bring ur PPO n go to HDB n meet the officers, I believe something can be work out.. So dun b dismay or disillusion. I cried my heart out at PUB to reinstate my electricity when my hubby refused to pay 6mths arrears n was grant special arrangement plus a cost savings PayU system. So, dun be depressed, there can always be exceptions...u can't skip the court mediations... But be informed if u get male mediators, they will favour ur hubby cos I kena 2x n they think us women just plainly make use of women's charter to get money n hse...so first, go down to HDB n bring your PPO n all court docus, it will help proof ur case n be sure to cry in front of them...it will soften their heart n they will help find a solution for you n your kid...... Peace be with you...shalom... God bless
 
Last edited:
Thanks pixie,
Most likely he will not contest & has agreed to divorce. Nw his bail has been extended for the 3rd time & next hearing is 5jan since he has another charge added.

Aside to gladijo,
Legal just waste time, they do the means test ask too many questions & keep asking to come down to ask questions, my friend went through a long process. Ive spoken to hdb regarding my issue. They told me as long court rules care & control of my child, I stand to take sole ownership provided he agrees to transfer whereby whatever he paid will be refunded back to him & I just have to get my loan reassessed. If he disagrees, like pixie mention, we both have to return back & lose our money. I still servicing our reno loan & I dowan to lose it.
Btw by any chamce hw long does it take for the lawyer to serve the papers to him? My lawyer is quite slow & its been abt 3 weeks told me have to check w hdb something first. Hope some1 could enlighten me?
 
Hi jokergerl..so that means you are like me, the "sandwich" group, above 1.5k ...I was told to do mean test by social worker but I refuse cos I dun want to go thru the mean test only to be found not eligible was, wasting my time to go down.

You still need to pay your lawyer if wish to terminate...so u want fast u need to gather his adultery pictures n if u dun hv then fight him custody of ur kid n maintenance for yourself. Your maintenance, you need to gather nw at least 3 mth receipts, every purchases, even Milo or milk power or even detergent or hair saloon receipts. I asked all my gf for receipts. I tell u the guys hor... Oh, is ur hubby driving? Try find out his salary, car purchase docs, Salary (payslip) so it's best is change to your letter box key, only you have access n you control so you will get all his bank statement etc. Dun alarm him...u need gather evidence first....let him continue his womanizing... Take pictures ...ask a fren to help...pictures are the strongest evidence in court. And if kena woman judge,u can see the atmosphere is thunderstorm... Cos in my EPO, the women judge was furious, her signing also so loud! Scary...

Most likely he will contest the house as all guys do, cos that's what they hv unless your hubby is wealthy n doesn't need it. If he is wealthy, all the most u must wack him hard n make him pay for his sin...

To serve divorce is very fast now cos all electronic, about 3-4days...dun need 3wks but I think ur lawyer enquire to HDB that's y.....but hor....honesty all lawyers are money face ...so u hv make them work...hv them calculate from day1 he never support u n your kid, plus house expenses plus kid's schooling ( include medical for both of u hor), if u hv reno bills, good hantam in..dun care if he pay so long as the bill have no name...hantam ..we are no playthings, use and throw, these guys must know that sin demands payment.

If u know he have a business outside, go ROC n check , gather as much as you can, then call his parents threatened exposure online of pictures n to his buddies, let his parents hammer him n hopefully he dun contest n agree to all your terms...this is fastest way out...but you have to be daring.

I'm going to sipoeana his parents n sister to court, see how he jump... Usually guys, want to keep these hush hush kinda like btw us only...they want FACE...so hold the snake by their tail ..nowhere to go
 
Haiz. Seriously sickeningly. He earns alot since hes paid by every assignment he does but dosent contribute any cpf.. he only gt 1 company putting $80 for cpf just cos they need quota to employ FW. all my medical expenses are via my company since I work in healthcare. Ive been keeping all invoices. He already has a record for spousal abuse thus getting custody over my son is unlikely. Nah, he doesnt drive. He spends his money on drugs, helping his useless friends & maybe prostitutes since he has slept with a few before. I make sure he becomes zero after the pain he has done to me. I believe in karma, thats why im thankful to god for opening my eyes & guiding me through.

Yar lor, after making some payment, lawyer soo draggy. His family is two sided though I expose his wrong doings to them. I cannot be bothered since ive alws been the innocent party suffering.

Thanks for the advise given, hope things will be fine for you.
 
Drugs... Hmmm...u ever come across in his pockets or whatever? It's good enough evidence he's no good dad...if u can afford, get PI get pictures of him n his Pros. Otherwise, u hv to sniff around him for drugs to get police to lock him up. Just a call to narcotics, they will jump in...my cousin ( his side so i dun contact him) is CID so they always looking for leads
 
Btw by any chamce hw long does it take for the lawyer to serve the papers to him? My lawyer is quite slow & its been abt 3 weeks told me have to check w hdb something first. Hope some1 could enlighten me?
mine took about 1-2 weeks... i dun remember my lawyer say she need to check with hdb about anything... anyway mine is experienced one.. so more or less she knows the procedure

from i went to lawyer to finalized divorce, whole procedure took about 6months. i told my lawyer i want the shortest path, no contested, dun wan any money from him, hdb i buy over from him + pay him interest for his shares (as per hdb's rules).
 
Last edited:
You must be kidding right! This was truly....a useless and wrong man! Since he has beaten you once, he will beats you again! You have been living all your life on your own before you met and marry him, so you will have no problem living your remaining life without him.

Classic case of once beaten still beg to go back for more. Be a smart woman and dont't devalue yourself. Life will naturally turns better when you know your own value.
 
Best get him locked away.. Bad influence for your son, really..you wouldn't want history to repeat on your son, right? Once locked away, then start divorce process...you wouldn't get anything from him when he gets deeper n deeper into drugs...you will get custody of your son as he have a police record, so dun worry and if your CPF hv sufficient, you can buy over his share, otherwise, you have to sell as the law dictates all matrimonial assets disposed n auxiliaries to be settled. Alternatively, I ever rang up HDB, they hv exceptions but you have to appeal personally... So dun despair... Make a trip down .... Be strong gal, you had survived thus far, you can do it for yourself n your son now ... Need help or what, let me knw , I hv some useful contacts... God bless
 
Thanks pixie, tanker 79 & gladjo.
Precisely & my son has nvr asked for him after the last beating. Yes ill appeal to hdb regarding this case. From what I heard recently, he just got a tattoo & clubs yet still begs me to be back with him.nive given complete hope on him.
Im sure he will contest over the flat but will not pay a single cent. Seriously regretting why I married him to go thru all these. Ive been making calls to check abt the hse. With gods guidance, im sure ill pull through this. If I require more info, will pm you. Thanks for your consoling words.
 
Hi jokergerl...that's right gal...he can contest but tell court his activities with drugs..that will put him in bad position, I can help u get my cousin to check if he hv records of arrest.. Then u can proof... Peace be with you, God bless
 
I just gotten a shock of my life. Received a call from IMH yest saying that he has been admitted for attempt suicide on Sunday evening. None of his family informed me & I was told by the nurse that his family side is requesting for a memo - maybe to certify if he has mental disorder to keng his sentence which is on 5 Jan. After 1 mth, he spoked to me crying out after they allowed him to speak w him. But I wasn't able to react & just let it be. Im praying nothing bad to happen while im firm with the divorce.
I called up my lawyer & he claims that they need ti have a standard query with hdb which may take 1 mth or 1.5mths. Ridiculous & what I understand from hdb is they take 14 working days only to respond. Goodness..
 
Hi jokergerl, that's what they say in Chinese, Ku Rou Zhi ... Stay firm gal n dun waiver.

I can't comment on your lawyer, but am curious how much he's charging u?

Since u had engaged him, make sure to keep tap on this lawyer.. I understand fm a lawyer that it take 3-4 days after HDB response to file as everything is now done electronically n very fast.

Well,since u had engaged this lawyer, u still hv to pay him if u terminate, do might as well continue but u wl hv to keep a close followup it seems.

Make sure u aren't staying alone but with your family members, he seems to be losing his control or playing mind games. Whatever you just hv to be firm if your dun want same shit all over again.

Wish you a good year n may you be bless with strength and wisdom for this year challenges.

Happy new year gal ..
:):)
 
Last edited:
Hi gladjo,
Hes charging me 3k since hes my fathers friend. Yes im actually looking into this closely. For now im staying w my family but also in fear once hes out as he has dashed into my parents home once which left me in stitches.
Thank you , hope to overcome all this

Wishing you too happy new year & god bless :)
 
Hi Jokergerl,

U need to standby those medical bills n especially this time he's admission to IMH, u need the doctor's report to proof his mental state. If possible, persuade the doctor to write the report that he is incapable of supporting the family n a bad father model plus whatever u can think of.

In future, u can use this report anytime for you n your kid. IMH certified my sis was unstable when she killed my mum n she only got 3mths. See how strong it is!

God bless...
 
@jokergerl maybe you really need to consider change lawyer.... coz my lawyer never told me that HDB need 1 to 1.5months...
nevertheless you can log in to your HDB page, there will indicate the estate manager handling your case. give him/her a call or make an appt with the person to discuss the option. will be much faster too
 
@jokergerl maybe you really need to consider change lawyer.... coz my lawyer never told me that HDB need 1 to 1.5months...
nevertheless you can log in to your HDB page, there will indicate the estate manager handling your case. give him/her a call or make an appt with the person to discuss the option. will be much faster too

Yes ill reconsider , have been busy this while.they gave me a call on Monday to inform that they have already rcv from hdb side. Nw i misplaced my PPO order & gotta to go get a copy before my lawyer arranges to meet the commissioner of oaths. What a hassle.
 
Hi jokerger, how r u doing? Hope all is well, dun let fear paralyze u, b Strong... God bless

Gladjo, no im dwelling on it & have learn to let go & live my life. I wont let negativity to get over me instead use it as my strength. After his last call on 29 dec, i just cant be bothered & feel safe assuming that hes in the asylum. How are u doing?
 
I feel so sorry for u jokergal... I strongly feel u ; ( this man is worse than a beast! Pl leave him... stay strong for your kid

No worries ya, yes he has been... Ive just opened my eyes to face it all out. Leaving him is already decided & im not giving him a chance. With gods blessing, ill continue to be optimistic & stay strong for my son :)
 
Hi jokergerl, glad that you are strong n determine now...am ok, stupid systems just hand over docus also attend court to do that...tax payers money is wasted like that n lawyers keep laughing. Thank God am doing all myself for time being n my DPP fren guide me, otherwise pay n pay for lawyer just to show face only 5mins in court!

I believe God will up hold us n lift us up.

Shalom, God bless you...keep in touch, am praying for you.. All is well..n future wl b better
 
Gladjo, no im dwelling on it & have learn to let go & live my life. I wont let negativity to get over me instead use it as my strength. After his last call on 29 dec, i just cant be bothered & feel safe assuming that hes in the asylum. How are u doing?
that's good to hear... as long as you can let go of all the negativity, you can feel instantly that actually you are much happier now... do what makes you happy as you only live once... why want to waste your time on someone not worth it?
 
Ladies,
Would like to check whether is it possible if he transfer ownership to me & i dun pay anything to him?
My lawyer is submitting my divorce to court this Monday. He claims that the other party needs to be around to physically to receive the papers. He has been sentence to 3weeks which i assume within 2 weeks will be out.
Any1 can advise? I want to be clear regards to the house matter. I keep paying everything related to the house yet still have to pay him... so sianzz.
 
Only courts can rule that he transfer everything to you and also up to hdb approves. But also need to depend on hdb rules and regulations. For me, i paying 80% and my ex paying 20%. Everything via cpf so is black n white. I pay him 20% + 2.5% interest charge to buy over his shares. Everything in the hse also i pay. Furniture, renovation, insurance, tax, utilities, etc all i pay l. My ex also nv pay anything. From what i know, hdb always want you to buy back ur ex shares. That is consider fair as he also fork out money

For divorce no need to meet each other. Just sign in papers in front of lawyer can liao. Sign on different dates also ok
 
Only courts can rule that he transfer everything to you and also up to hdb approves. But also need to depend on hdb rules and regulations. For me, i paying 80% and my ex paying 20%. Everything via cpf so is black n white. I pay him 20% + 2.5% interest charge to buy over his shares. Everything in the hse also i pay. Furniture, renovation, insurance, tax, utilities, etc all i pay l. My ex also nv pay anything. From what i know, hdb always want you to buy back ur ex shares. That is consider fair as he also fork out money

For divorce no need to meet each other. Just sign in papers in front of lawyer can liao. Sign on different dates also ok

I see,thanks for the heads up pixie.. Im worried cos i dun have much funds to buy over his share. As of nw, hes only paying 10% which is $50. More or less hes paid less than 10k overall fr the flat. If hdb retains the flat, their compensation payout is less & will not be enough to pay the loan im servicing now. Think abt all this, makes me dread even more. But just gotta stay strong as this is just temporary.
 
Can anyone explain to me exactly how buying over the ex hubby share of flat is done? Do I need to fork out cash also?
 
Hi daay ...it's best to go down to HDB n compute out. General understanding is if your CPF doesn't hv enough , you hv to top up cash but I think u can get a bank loan for that. It's better to go HDB n find out once n for all.

God bless
 
Can anyone explain to me exactly how buying over the ex hubby share of flat is done? Do I need to fork out cash also?

I see,thanks for the heads up pixie.. Im worried cos i dun have much funds to buy over his share. As of nw, hes only paying 10% which is $50. More or less hes paid less than 10k overall fr the flat. If hdb retains the flat, their compensation payout is less & will not be enough to pay the loan im servicing now. Think abt all this, makes me dread even more. But just gotta stay strong as this is just temporary.

you need not pay cash to buy back your ex's share, you can take bank loan to pay entire hdb loan.
for example your hse is 200K. you paid 50K, ur ex paid 50K, so left 100K hdb loan..
you have to apply for bank loan (not hdb loan because you can only loan once) for $51,250 (50K plus incurred interest charge) + 100K. total SGD151,250
apply bank loan will takes roughly 6 months... of course if the bank does not want to lend you so much money then the rest you have to fork out by cash.
if your CPF gt money, you also can dump all your CPF so you loan less money

do not call HDB for general enquiry because they will only forward it around or just give you a general reply which is useless. Go to your hdb page and check who is your estate manager. Give him/her a call. If he/she doesnt answer the phone, spam his/her email until he/she reply.

for me, i just pay everything by cash including my ex share and remaining hdb loan.. coz i want to settle asap and do not want to delay anymore

p.s: if you want to take over the HDB, you must have a family nucleus.. which means a child or your parents.. if no children, and your parents already have a HDB, then you must be above 35yrs old
 
Last edited:
The amount u mentioned 200k is based on resale value of the flat? Or the price of flat when we bought initially?
 
The amount u mentioned 200k is based on resale value of the flat? Or the price of flat when we bought initially?
price of flat when you bought initially, you go to your HDB page. you can see how much you already paid and how much is outstanding.
HDB always based on the initial price they sell you, not the "market" price.. market price only valid if you are re-selling to other people
 
Hi just a quick check,
Ive locked up our flat since all along ive been paying for it.

He has just been released & wants a accommodation to let him rent 1 room. In midst of my lawyer arranging the divorce paper, mind suggesting what I can do since both is joint application.?

I cannot lock the place & dun allow him to go into the flat right?.thanks.
 
Hi just a quick check,
Ive locked up our flat since all along ive been paying for it.

He has just been released & wants a accommodation to let him rent 1 room. In midst of my lawyer arranging the divorce paper, mind suggesting what I can do since both is joint application.?

I cannot lock the place & dun allow him to go into the flat right?.thanks.
you been paying the flat doesnt mean the flat is 100% under you... as long as his name is in the deed, and you have not buy over his shares and HDB has not transfer his name to you, he has the authority to go into the house... unless you have some protection letter from police (forgot what is the correct term) that prevents him to come close to you.

nevertheless you can reject him and ask him rent a room outside, and see what he say... change your lock so that he cannot come in.. wait till he complain to HDB or police, then bo bian let him stay lo

p.s: btw you can start to contact your estate manager regarding the buying over the shares.. not need wait for divorce paper. but when you sit down with your estate manager to fill up all the forms, the final divorce paper (not the Interim Judgment) must be ready
 
Hi Jokergerl...yes u can locked him out n he can't do a thing...dun believe PM smugglerprincess ... Even if he calls police, they can only "request" u to open n they can't force u as it's civil case. Even he calls locksmith, tell the locksmith u will sue them, they dun dare. So long as it's civil, police can only use their stupid hard voice to frighten u...meanwhile u can procced the flat transfer
 
hi jokergerl, u cant locked him out. No way. If his IC address is there, he can get locksmith to open the door anytime and not against the law. Police will ask u to open the door if u at home.

Do the right thing, dont fight unnecessary battles, if u wan to win the war. Hahaha
 
it's legal..my bf was locked out several times by his ex wife ...smigglerprincess was locked out. Both were made instant homeless ppl. Tell me who won?

The most police can do in such circumstances is to keep peace. They will tell you it's a civil case.

You can't sit around and wait for police to fight for you to win your house ... not happening. But you can wait to fight in court for the house which may take 6-9 months or more if contesting. So, while waiting, don't complaint because you did nothing to fight but wait for lawyer to fight for you. You have to fight for yourself to win. Nobody fights and win for you...unless you are paying big bucks. Ever wonder why some many ppl complaint their lawyers useless.

Janey, you haven't been there, I've been there, my bf and ppl I spoke to went through it personally. They were locked out! Made homeless! I'm fighting myself.

Well, rest my case now.
 
Ok, he hasnt change the address of our place as we only got the keys last july. My lawyer has served the papers to him. Meanwhile im attempting to reach my estate manager like pixie suggested. I know for sure he will contest over the house. Thus im reconsidering whether to just return back the flat & make him pay for the damages he has caused.

Btw whats with smigglerprincess?wasnt able to follow what u guys were talking about.
 
Gladjo, i know u have being thru. But have to calm down. how u know i have not go thru this.

I change the lock of my residence and locked out my ex husband. He successfully able to get a locksmith to open the lock.

Whatever to do dont take laws into your own hand, its will give u more problem then helping u.

There are many technicalities in laws which we layman don't know and if we overstep it. It will give u more problem then solving them.

Jokergerl, it's better let your lawyer handled your stuff. They are professional and have being doing this regularly, it will be faster if you give them instruction and they act for u
 
Hi ladies,

Just to update I found my husband is with another woman 9yrs older & her husband just passed away. It seems like she has got money & seems to be enjoying. He is contactless & the new number is not in use already after a week. What can i do? My lawyer tried thrice going over the fathers place but hes no longer living there. hes nw suggesting me to get court summon to paste over the paper on the door. But it defeats the purpose when even his own family dosent know his whereabouts. I manage to get the other womans fb,address,phone number etc.... in this case my divorce will be dragged if hes uncontactable is it?
What a painful feeling i feel nw... just believe he could change within 2 weeks to find another woman... thank god for showing me...i really need advise.. feeling very down...
 
Hi sadliving
Tks for your advice, I hv a DPP n ex divorce lawyer helping me all the way that's why I dare share.
 
DPP is doing criminal case, if really he is a friend, he would have given u the right advice. There is no way to lock him out, unless he change his IC address.

Also if DPP is helping u, he would have told u to let a experience lawyer handle your case, u don't have to run in circle. u can claim the lawyer fees from your husband, why wan to save for him, and create problem for yourself.
 
Jokergerl..ur lawyer is right .get a court summons...n if he doesn't turn up, judge will issue a warrant of arrest..check with ur lawyer if enforcement is required. Once ur hubby enters any check point ..he will be handcuffed. If u dun do this...then ur case will drag n drag n ur lawyer fees going to escalate.

Is painful, dun hv a choice gal...so am also fighting my own case myself. Am not eligible for legal aid n can't afford lawyer. Thank God I hv a ex divorce lawyer who is teaching me everything.

So,God bless
 
I see.. Ok cos i was thinking to meet up with him to get him to sign since he agreed to sign the papers.

We met yest since it was my sons birthday. The twist here is he nw wants to fight custody of our son, leave me peniless by taking control of the house, claiming that hes in a stable job declaring income tax, will send me paper from his lawyer regards to the hse locking , claims that im trepassing his property when im just a occupier where infact, im listed as a 2nd owner with joint occupancy.. Will i tend to lose control of the house & my son if he has all this allegations against me? As of nw he has committed adultery & is w another woman backing him up.
 
You can't loose ur hse..he n his lawyer can only threatened.. Dun believe go check with HDB ...his lawyer twisted meaning is he will go through legal means to make u loose ur hse which realistically will not happened unless u believe. So long as u r listed co-owner, u r entitled 50/50.

He can try locking, dare him....under the law, police can't do a thing so stay put in the hse. He will play dirty...seems his lawyer is not that dumb so you might hv to b prepared for dirty ticks. PM me if his lawyer plays dirty, we'll hit them by legal means also. Anyway, ur lawyer shud be able to tell u, why he didn't say??
 
jokergal, your lawyer need to try all means and way to serve him the letter. If all means failed, then your lawyer will advertise for him to appear in court. He have to show cause all means have being tried. The court will not be able to issue a summon for him to apply court, and there will be no arrest in the checkpoint, GladjO GOT IT ALL WRONG.
 
I see.. Ok cos i was thinking to meet up with him to get him to sign since he agreed to sign the papers.

We met yest since it was my sons birthday. The twist here is he nw wants to fight custody of our son, leave me peniless by taking control of the house, claiming that hes in a stable job declaring income tax, will send me paper from his lawyer regards to the hse locking , claims that im trepassing his property when im just a occupier where infact, im listed as a 2nd owner with joint occupancy.. Will i tend to lose control of the house & my son if he has all this allegations against me? As of nw he has committed adultery & is w another woman backing him up.
the thing is nothing is 100%... you must be prepare that you have to find a stable job in future so that you can really secure a future for your kids and yourself...
lets say you won and courts say he has to pay you alimony and child maintenance.. but if your ex is a b@stard, he can stop working (or find part time job just enough to support himself) and declare bankrupt. then he needs not pay alimony and child maintenance...

after spending so many years with a man, cant you see you cannot depend on man forever?
 


You can't loose ur hse..he n his lawyer can only threatened.. Dun believe go check with HDB ...his lawyer twisted meaning is he will go through legal means to make u loose ur hse which realistically will not happened unless u believe. So long as u r listed co-owner, u r entitled 50/50.

not true... you are only entitled what you have pay for... co-owner doesnt mean you are entitled 50/50...
like my ex pays 20%, i pay 80%.. so i buy over his shares, i need to pay him 20% + 2.5% (accrued interest)
if you dont have money in CPF or cash to buy over... you have to take bank loan because you need to clear the remaining loan with HDB before any transfer of ownership of HDB

for example your house your ex pays 50K, you pays 50K, hdb loan left 100K.. you need to pay your ex 50K + 1250 and hdb 100K in total then you can own 100% of the hdb..

if you really check with HDB, HDB will never tell you u r entitled 50/50 if you are co-owner

when you buying HDB and signing the deed, HDB also explain to owner and co-owner that in the events that any sales of the HDB, they will determine by the % of owner and co-owner paid. hence if can, do not pay by cash because it is hard to trace. pay by CPF is the best
 
Last edited:

Back
Top