hi,
i have a husband but feel like a single mom. during my pregnancy, my husband did not accompany me to any of the prenatal check ups. he also didn't go for the blood test to check for risk of down syndrome.
although he said that he will give me part of his salary as contribution to household expenses, he never did. we both agreed that the contribution wld start in aug but he kept giving excuses whenever i asked him. i was pregnant then but had fallen ill due to virus from him so was staying at my mom's. i asked him several times via text messages, he wld tell me not yet transfer, still at work so cannot transfer, etc. i suggested atm transfer but he said atm card left behind at work place. i suggested online transfer, he said his account is unable to do it and he will call the bank the following day. then... he ignored my messages altogether. that was in sep and oct; my edd was end of nov. beginning of nov, i went to his mom's place; my mil asked about my condition, he acted as if nothing happened. after i moved back, he wld come home late at night (after midnight), claiming that there's manpower shortage so he had to work overtime. i sensed that he was avoiding me. he even texted me to ask me to go back to my mom's place to stay over saying that he is sick and will be on mc for the next 2 days so didn't want to pass the virus to me. i think he cld not take it, being sleep deprived for many days; he probably just wanted to chase me away so he doesn't have to avoid me and can have a good rest. anyway i gave him the benefit of doubt and went back to my mom's. the following day, doctor advised me to admit to hospital and may need to induce labour. i told him and my mil. he came to the hospital. with the hospital bag that i packed as i have asked. he stayed with me; went home to sleep and came back to hospital the next day. baby was delivered in the afternoon, he was with me during the delivery which i was glad. i finally felt like i had a husband during that time! but it was short lived..
my mom agreed to help me with my confinement and requested that he come over to stay and help out for the month esp at night. he agreed and he came. however, within just 2 weeks, he had absent himself from caring for our son thrice.
the first time: he had to go back to work for 2 days as he didn't arrange for his paternity leave. initially, he said he would come back after work but last minute, he texted me he had to go to work early the next day so he spent the night back home being nearer to his work place compared to my mom's.
the second time: he went to work. that day, in the evening, he texted me saying that he had fallen ill with a very high fever, mc for 3 days. he then didn't come back that evening and for the next 3 days. on the 3rd day morning, i asked if he is better. he said he is and that he would return the following morning. i asked for him to come back in the evening that day instead of the next day. he told me that he wanted to be sure he has recovered fully so as not to pass virus to baby. i think he just wants to sleep more. the following morning i texted him to ask what time he's coming. he said will reach at 11am but by the time he reached it was 12plus in the afternoon. when he reached, i was napping but he woke me up, rather rudely, to ask me for the documents needed to run his errand. i almost wanted to slap him at that point. i had barely rested after struggling to get baby to sleep and he simply woke me the moment he arrived. he then left for the errand after getting the documents only returning in the evening. later in the night, he suddenly said he wanted to grab a bite from the coffee shop downstairs and went out. he never came back. this is the third time he deserted us.
please tell me...what do i do with such a husband? is he my husband?
i have a husband but feel like a single mom. during my pregnancy, my husband did not accompany me to any of the prenatal check ups. he also didn't go for the blood test to check for risk of down syndrome.
although he said that he will give me part of his salary as contribution to household expenses, he never did. we both agreed that the contribution wld start in aug but he kept giving excuses whenever i asked him. i was pregnant then but had fallen ill due to virus from him so was staying at my mom's. i asked him several times via text messages, he wld tell me not yet transfer, still at work so cannot transfer, etc. i suggested atm transfer but he said atm card left behind at work place. i suggested online transfer, he said his account is unable to do it and he will call the bank the following day. then... he ignored my messages altogether. that was in sep and oct; my edd was end of nov. beginning of nov, i went to his mom's place; my mil asked about my condition, he acted as if nothing happened. after i moved back, he wld come home late at night (after midnight), claiming that there's manpower shortage so he had to work overtime. i sensed that he was avoiding me. he even texted me to ask me to go back to my mom's place to stay over saying that he is sick and will be on mc for the next 2 days so didn't want to pass the virus to me. i think he cld not take it, being sleep deprived for many days; he probably just wanted to chase me away so he doesn't have to avoid me and can have a good rest. anyway i gave him the benefit of doubt and went back to my mom's. the following day, doctor advised me to admit to hospital and may need to induce labour. i told him and my mil. he came to the hospital. with the hospital bag that i packed as i have asked. he stayed with me; went home to sleep and came back to hospital the next day. baby was delivered in the afternoon, he was with me during the delivery which i was glad. i finally felt like i had a husband during that time! but it was short lived..
my mom agreed to help me with my confinement and requested that he come over to stay and help out for the month esp at night. he agreed and he came. however, within just 2 weeks, he had absent himself from caring for our son thrice.
the first time: he had to go back to work for 2 days as he didn't arrange for his paternity leave. initially, he said he would come back after work but last minute, he texted me he had to go to work early the next day so he spent the night back home being nearer to his work place compared to my mom's.
the second time: he went to work. that day, in the evening, he texted me saying that he had fallen ill with a very high fever, mc for 3 days. he then didn't come back that evening and for the next 3 days. on the 3rd day morning, i asked if he is better. he said he is and that he would return the following morning. i asked for him to come back in the evening that day instead of the next day. he told me that he wanted to be sure he has recovered fully so as not to pass virus to baby. i think he just wants to sleep more. the following morning i texted him to ask what time he's coming. he said will reach at 11am but by the time he reached it was 12plus in the afternoon. when he reached, i was napping but he woke me up, rather rudely, to ask me for the documents needed to run his errand. i almost wanted to slap him at that point. i had barely rested after struggling to get baby to sleep and he simply woke me the moment he arrived. he then left for the errand after getting the documents only returning in the evening. later in the night, he suddenly said he wanted to grab a bite from the coffee shop downstairs and went out. he never came back. this is the third time he deserted us.
please tell me...what do i do with such a husband? is he my husband?
