any 35 and above trying for their first?

Hmmm... I have a different opinion about being a housewife. There are many other things to do to occupy our time besides work, for e.g., volunteering, back to school, pick up a hobby/skill, etc. Plus the housework to manage at home is already quite time consuming.

Of course having a job, being recognised at work by bosses and peers, getting that sense of achievement is great. I love that too. But at this stage, if it compromises with my priority to have a baby, then something has to be sacrificed. Baby or job?

I think it is a choice we make so we need to make the best out of it, whether we choose baby or job. :) Just saying...

ttc.png
 


I don't want to be a man too. Imagine I have to shoulder responsibility and stuck between the wife n mother. Upset also cannot cry. I have to serve the army. I have act strong etc. No thanks. Ha ha. :p
 
Haaaa.... Yup so women again we shall be next life. Bepositive, if you like to be a man, maybe next life we will hook up. Lol.
 
Chubby I guess your ivf will be next year? Goody luck.

I'm looking forward to my trip then Xmas gatherings then welcoming 2015. Cny is not my kind of thing and I hope I will be flying then too hhahah.

Yup yup, early next year say Feb... Same as oceandeep....

Same here. How I wish I can celebrate Xmas in UK. *sob sob* too bad, annual leave used up for my SO-IUI and other stuff...

These few months are all about festive seasons - food and wine, gatherings, traveling and many more... Just enjoy and don't want to think too much. What is meant to be will be...
 
Hi-five chubby, so where do you intend to do IVF? I also piling on the weight leh so scary:(
The more I wanna lose the more I put on haha.

Oh yes, my Chinese physician said I can't eat chocolates leh. I think I can't even drink milo now. He said coffee n tea can drink but think I just stick to one cup of coffee everyday.


Thanks Chubby and Redvel for your kind words!
It's another hectic and crazy week for me! Ladies, would you forgo your maternity benefits and quit a job while ttcing?
I am holding onto this job because I am hoping and crossing all fingers and toes that I can get preggy next yr and at least have some maternity benefits.
Howewver, I am having second thoughts now because with the amount of stress level, I am not going to get pregnant!


Oceandeep, life still moves on as usual.. The only one that can change much is only us. Work stress will be always there in the corporate world.. If possible, don't go to extreme decision such as quitting a job yet especially one with financial commitments like HDB financing. Go slow and steady by discussing with your superiors on your thought of going into IVF.. Let them know the likely dates which you will be late, on HL, how are you going to work to ensure minimal interruption and allow them to have time to employ temp staff if necessary. See whether you can take unpaid leave also.

After discussion, if your company is not supporting on your IVF decision, then can consider quitting. In your next recruitment, you can tell them this reason if you want. Treat this as your career break.

Our biological clock will continuing clicking no matter what we do. Facing time limitation, if I'm in your position, I will give priority to my baby making.... Nobody will appreciate except your closed loved ones, and we will be appreciating it much much more... Way more....
 
I totally lost "it" today. I've been generally feeling ok n try not to think abt things all this while esp during this 2ww. This morning, my aunt (who does not know abt my iui, etc) was chatting with me on whatsapp.... told me to take my time to hv kids n that i shd wait till I move into my new place (next yr) n settle down there b4 i start planning to have kids, etc. Told me to heed her advice. So i just blurted out to her in frustration that maybe i'm not even meant to have kids. Then she started nagging at me for having such a mentality. Anw, i started crying in the office toilet for quite a while after that cos I guess i have a lot of pent up frustration inside. She doesn't know what's happening so i guess it's easy for her to think that if I start planning to conceive next yr, I will conceive immediately. cos when she n my uncle got married yrs ago, they decided to wait 3 yrs b4 they started trying n managed to conceive quite fast. If i were 25 like her when she got married, I probably would be more patient. I'm 35. it's like a race against time n biological clock n i don't think many women (esp those who conceive easily) understand what it's like to try n try without success. :(
 
Virtual hugs, franch.

I broke down a few times too (yes I think we favour office toilet). It’s such a trying phase for ladies here. I feel you.

Maybe I cried until tears are exhausted. Or maybe I’ve learnt that whatever people say (whatever is their intention), they will never truly understand since they do not know our personal challenging journey. And I also don’t feel the need to tell these people what I am going through. Whenever these comments come to us, try to remind ourselves that this journey is really between you and your other supportive half. That’s all matters. There will always be why you don’t do this why you don’t do that advice. And I’m very very good at filtering. Hee.

It’s ok to cry ya. Hope you feel at least a little bit better by now. My mentor reminds me that we can never think that we will fail. The mind is a very strong energy force. Keep believing and keep doing what you feel is right for you and your husband. The journey will bring you both to a happy spot one day.
 
Oceandeep, life still moves on as usual.. The only one that can change much is only us. Work stress will be always there in the corporate world.. If possible, don't go to extreme decision such as quitting a job yet especially one with financial commitments like HDB financing. Go slow and steady by discussing with your superiors on your thought of going into IVF.. Let them know the likely dates which you will be late, on HL, how are you going to work to ensure minimal interruption and allow them to have time to employ temp staff if necessary. See whether you can take unpaid leave also.

After discussion, if your company is not supporting on your IVF decision, then can consider quitting. In your next recruitment, you can tell them this reason if you want. Treat this as your career break.

Our biological clock will continuing clicking no matter what we do. Facing time limitation, if I'm in your position, I will give priority to my baby making.... Nobody will appreciate except your closed loved ones, and we will be appreciating it much much more... Way more....
Thanks chubby. I will try to hold onto the job for as long as I can. Maybe I am destined to be childless. Feel utterly hopeless because another year is gone and hopes are diminishing with each passing year. Having said that, new cycle new hope! Hope my hubby doesn't change his mind about seeing the tcm physician! How's it going for you?
 
I totally lost "it" today. I've been generally feeling ok n try not to think abt things all this while esp during this 2ww. This morning, my aunt (who does not know abt my iui, etc) was chatting with me on whatsapp.... told me to take my time to hv kids n that i shd wait till I move into my new place (next yr) n settle down there b4 i start planning to have kids, etc. Told me to heed her advice. So i just blurted out to her in frustration that maybe i'm not even meant to have kids. Then she started nagging at me for having such a mentality. Anw, i started crying in the office toilet for quite a while after that cos I guess i have a lot of pent up frustration inside. She doesn't know what's happening so i guess it's easy for her to think that if I start planning to conceive next yr, I will conceive immediately. cos when she n my uncle got married yrs ago, they decided to wait 3 yrs b4 they started trying n managed to conceive quite fast. If i were 25 like her when she got married, I probably would be more patient. I'm 35. it's like a race against time n biological clock n i don't think many women (esp those who conceive easily) understand what it's like to try n try without success. :(
I feel you, franch. It's our biological clock ticking away which makes us very anxious and stressed. People who conceive at a younger age won't know our challenges. Sometimes I feel they think we are gone case also since so old already. It's most depressing when they say Infront of you that they want to have children in their 20s not when they are old. Seriously I feel if given a choice, I think most people want to have children when they are young. It's not within our control most of the time.!
 
Franch, we have our up n down days. Don't be bothered by other comments. We just do what we feel is right. They are not in our shoes so won't know how we feel. Hope u feel better already. Jia you
 
I feel you, franch. It's our biological clock ticking away which makes us very anxious and stressed. People who conceive at a younger age won't know our challenges. Sometimes I feel they think we are gone case also since so old already. It's most depressing when they say Infront of you that they want to have children in their 20s not when they are old. Seriously I feel if given a choice, I think most people want to have children when they are young. It's not within our control most of the time.!

I agree with u. Is our biological ticking n that's why we feel more pressure than others cos we do not have the time to slowly try. Some others may even feel why still want to try when we are so old. But I can tell u. There are many ladies in late 30s n early 40 BFP. Is never too late to start, at least we tried.
 
Thanks for the encouragement :)
I think I have to shed 10% of my weight to see some results. I guess i am not trying hard enough. Already disadvantaged because of my age. I should strive for healthy BMI.
 
Thanks for the encouragement :)
I think I have to shed 10% of my weight to see some results. I guess i am not trying hard enough. Already disadvantaged because of my age. I should strive for healthy BMI.

Is good to stay healthy even not for TTC. As we age more problem or illness may surface. So we must take care of ourself.
 
thanks, guys. i do feel much better, esp after ranting here cos i know ppl here wld understand how i feel. Thanks all for hearing me out. :)
 
thanks, guys. i do feel much better, esp after ranting here cos i know ppl here wld understand how i feel. Thanks all for hearing me out. :)

Franc, you are most welcome.. That's the purpose of this forum ... 皇天不负有心人。Continue trying when you have the energy... Feel tired? Give yourself a break and move forward. You can do it...
 
Thanks chubby. I will try to hold onto the job for as long as I can. Maybe I am destined to be childless. Feel utterly hopeless because another year is gone and hopes are diminishing with each passing year. Having said that, new cycle new hope! Hope my hubby doesn't change his mind about seeing the tcm physician! How's it going for you?

I'm good. Hope you are good as well. Since I know I failed the first and last round of SO-IUI... Been back to my old lifestyle.. Stop TCM...stop BBC....But this time , been looking around for exercise classes, like in CC to work up on my fatty and hope to slim down ... That's all.
 
Sometimes I wonder if I am wasting my money seeing the sinseh because with my level of work stress, it will be very hard for my ttc to succeed. Really feel very mentally exhausted and feel like breaking down :(
 
I also sort of feel am i wasting money to try ivf as dh quality was pretty bad according to gynaes. Tcm doesnt help for him too.

But no try ivf means no chance to conceive as we will told its impossible to conceive naturally with his quality n quantity.

Its a delima whether to pursue a bb miracle with money n failure as e bet. Unless i give up on this journey n be contented with just e 2 of us.
 
For me, ivf was a waste of time and money. Because it didn't work la. But if it did then of course worth it :p. But for those who are going for ART, it's a matter of never try never know. We always hear this : at least you have tried. So if having a baby is a hopeful goal, then don't think too much and just go with the flow of the plan. Whatever happens or comes out of it, I am sure we are all strong enough to take in our stride.
 
think this is something everyone who is undergoing ART faces. paying the $$ doesn't guarantee a baby n the stats r against us. It's like buying 4D n hoping u strike. but if we don't try, we won't know if it will work n we don't want to leave it n end up regretting yrs later that we didn't take the chance n didn't try harder.
 
I also sort of feel am i wasting money to try ivf as dh quality was pretty bad according to gynaes. Tcm doesnt help for him too.

But no try ivf means no chance to conceive as we will told its impossible to conceive naturally with his quality n quantity.

Its a delima whether to pursue a bb miracle with money n failure as e bet. Unless i give up on this journey n be contented with just e 2 of us.
Can share what are his numbers? Mine also has bad numbers but my dr say supplements may help. I find it does help a bit. It takes 3 mths for sperm to regenerate
 
Can share what are his numbers? Mine also has bad numbers but my dr say supplements may help. I find it does help a bit. It takes 3 mths for sperm to regenerate
Less than 30. He is born with little. Wat supplements is he taking? We took for 9 mths. Still same. Also exercise n watch diet. He doesnt smoke nor drink beer.
 
Mine also has poor sperm quality and morphology. Maybe we should start a thread for this to discuss methods to improve the troops!
 
Less than 30. He is born with little. Wat supplements is he taking? We took for 9 mths. Still same. Also exercise n watch diet. He doesnt smoke nor drink beer.
30 as in 30 mil? Mine first test was a pathetic 9 mil... He takes megamen, vit c and vit e, Brazil nuts.
 
@oceandeep78 , hey babe! Come here more often to chat and relax then, if nothing else helps. Only ladies here can be empathic of our situation. A lot of things just "let it go, let it go..." :)

@chloe_ng , Yo! How are you doing post IUI?

@franch , yes I also think the same, don't want to regret later and question why we didn't take that step. Btw, what is ART?

@redvel , hi my next life lover! Lol... (just saying hello)
 
@redvel , if in next life we really become a couple, must convince/remind me to TTC early ya. Don't want history to repeat itself! Haha...
I went to see my TCM physician just now. Innocently got scolded for their administrative blunder, then afterwards she started to raise her voice at me for every single matter regarding my case. I managed to remain calm and reply her nicely. Sigh! I am the patient, no? *sob sob*
 
Bepostive, I think I should be the one being reminded since you said you wanna be the man next life? Haa. Okok we get together when we are 18.. park tor few years… find a stable job… then get married at 25 and straight away ttc ah!

You’re cool and nice and did the right thing. I hope tonight she will go to sleep feeling sorry and guilty.
 
@oceandeep78 , hey babe! Come here more often to chat and relax then, if nothing else helps. Only ladies here can be empathic of our situation. A lot of things just "let it go, let it go..." :)

@chloe_ng , Yo! How are you doing post IUI?

@franch , yes I also think the same, don't want to regret later and question why we didn't take that step. Btw, what is ART?

@redvel , hi my next life lover! Lol... (just saying hello)
Thanks for asking but my bbt dropped so it's another failed cycle sigh. Af shud be here tmr or Thurs
 
30 as in 30 mil? Mine first test was a pathetic 9 mil... He takes megamen, vit c and vit e, Brazil nuts.
30 ,not millions. But i choose my dh n he is a nice man. So i have to accept him as wat he has and wish upon e star. Can conceive is lucky. Dun have also bo bian. Just have to chiong 1 or 2 more times for art n be be realistic maybe :) but secretly wishing for a miracle! :)
 
@oceandeep78 , hey babe! Come here more often to chat and relax then, if nothing else helps. Only ladies here can be empathic of our situation. A lot of things just "let it go, let it go..." :)

@chloe_ng , Yo! How are you doing post IUI?

@franch , yes I also think the same, don't want to regret later and question why we didn't take that step. Btw, what is ART?

@redvel , hi my next life lover! Lol... (just saying hello)
Bepositive, you are singing FROZEN theme song rite... Lolx.
 
Sometimes I wonder if I am wasting my money seeing the sinseh because with my level of work stress, it will be very hard for my ttc to succeed. Really feel very mentally exhausted and feel like breaking down :(
Ocean, are you in the peak of your work cycle? Perhaps after this, you can take a few days leave and try not to do anything. Just my suggestion. Don ever give up. We still have not give IVF a try. Jiayou!
 
Bepostive, I think I should be the one being reminded since you said you wanna be the man next life? Haa. Okok we get together when we are 18.. park tor few years… find a stable job… then get married at 25 and straight away ttc ah!

You’re cool and nice and did the right thing. I hope tonight she will go to sleep feeling sorry and guilty.

Usually the wife reminds the husband of such matters, no? Based on my current experience, I am the one doing the reminder. Hahahahaha...
Still pat tor for a few years? I say we start at 18! We will be 38 when our eldest kid is 20! Cool! Lol *totally getting carried away*

Its ok, I don't need her to be sleepless feeling guilty. Just hope that she will be nicer to patients.
 
Thanks for asking but my bbt dropped so it's another failed cycle sigh. Af shud be here tmr or Thurs

*Hugs hugs hugs* I know the feeling of seeing the temperature drop on the thermometer. Do keep your spirits up, go for a drink or romantic night out with hubby. Keep positive thoughts and energy around you ya! :)
 
*Hugs hugs hugs* I know the feeling of seeing the temperature drop on the thermometer. Do keep your spirits up, go for a drink or romantic night out with hubby. Keep positive thoughts and energy around you ya! :)
Thanks for all the love ladies... yup since it's my second failed iui cycle it's less painful than the first. Just gotta keep prodding on.
 
Bepositive, you are such a nice and positive person! I wish I can come here more often to seek support but I usually come in late at night to catch up on the posts. Have ur AF come?

Yo chubby, yes I don't intend to give up on IVF yet but I definitely need a different work arrangement. Will push my way through and if it doesn't go my way, guess I will just take a break from work and focus on ttc.
 
I also sort of feel am i wasting money to try ivf as dh quality was pretty bad according to gynaes. Tcm doesnt help for him too.

But no try ivf means no chance to conceive as we will told its impossible to conceive naturally with his quality n quantity.

Its a delima whether to pursue a bb miracle with money n failure as e bet. Unless i give up on this journey n be contented with just e 2 of us.
Hi Connie,
I don't think you should feel that way. In fact , I thought IVF helps for such cases? So don't give up!! Cheers
 
I also sort of feel am i wasting money to try ivf as dh quality was pretty bad according to gynaes. Tcm doesnt help for him too.

But no try ivf means no chance to conceive as we will told its impossible to conceive naturally with his quality n quantity.

Its a delima whether to pursue a bb miracle with money n failure as e bet. Unless i give up on this journey n be contented with just e 2 of us.
Hi Connie,
I don't think you should feel that way. In fact , I thought IVF helps for such cases? So don't give up!! Cheers
 
Finally opk gets dark and tomorrow should be positive. Today have loads of ewcm. Planned to bd but hubby already konk out. Bleh. Tomorrow then rahbah.

Let's stay positive. We have not reached the end of tunnel yet.
 
For me, ivf was a waste of time and money. Because it didn't work la. But if it did then of course worth it :p. But for those who are going for ART, it's a matter of never try never know. We always hear this : at least you have tried. So if having a baby is a hopeful goal, then don't think too much and just go with the flow of the plan. Whatever happens or comes out of it, I am sure we are all strong enough to take in our stride.

thats true! You have done your part already and that's all it matters.
 
Bepositive, you are such a nice and positive person! I wish I can come here more often to seek support but I usually come in late at night to catch up on the posts. Have ur AF come?

Yo chubby, yes I don't intend to give up on IVF yet but I definitely need a different work arrangement. Will push my way through and if it doesn't go my way, guess I will just take a break from work and focus on ttc.
Is ivf very disruptive to work? How often do u go to the hospital?
 
Hi All, just a quick update. Recently a family friend encourage to give it a try, she said if we have friends or relatives who gave birth recently, go to their house and ask the new mum to cook a bowl of mee sua, then sit at their bed and eat it, said it might work. And there's also a saying to hang a piece of the clothes in your cupboard that the new mom wore during her pregnancy...well, not sure how true it is but no harm trying.
 


Is ivf very disruptive to work? How often do u go to the hospital?
Other than the pre IVF consultations and various tests, once you start the jab, it's 2-3 x at least half day gone, each week. (depending which hospital and peak/non peak hr). These are for scans. I did about 5-6 scans. Then ER to ET to blood test for pregnancy you will get about 18days of HL. HL is given but up to you how many days you wanna utilize it from your company. To me, yes ivf is disruptive to work. Need to discuss with your boss for such arrangement.
 

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